Tonight’s MAFS Australia double episode starts with the six couples that just got married going on their honeymoons to Whitsunday Islands. According to Wikipedia, the 74 Whitsunday Islands lie between the northeast coast of Queensland, Australia, and the Great Barrier Reef. It looks amazing. Why aren’t we there now?
Tash & Amanda
Amanda is having the time of her life. She is thrilled with Tash and ready to jump her bones. She loves the resort. Everything is perfect! Except, she doesn’t realize that Tash is not feeling the same way. Poor Amanda is in for a letdown. There are kangaroos on the island! I love this place! Why don’t I live there? It’s DAY TWO, Tash. You are ready to bail because “there is no spark there” on day two? Oh it seems that they are not all honeymooning in the same place after all.
The island is called Daydream island and is beautiful. But Amanda is on the beach alone and Tash is in the hotel room meditating. Tash apparently stays in the room all day. They don’t spend time together until a late dinner. Tash tells Amanda that she doesn’t feel like they have chemistry. Amanda is heartbroken and pissed. Amanda is going to get her own room. The next day they fight again. It looks like this may be over before it begins.
Natasha & Mikey
These two are going to Snowy Mountains in New South Wales. Were there are also kangaroos just hopping about. While Tash and Amanda plan to lie about on a sunny beach, these two are going rappelling. Only they call it something else. I can’t really understand Mikey’s accent. Natasha has done it before, but Mikey has not and he’s anxious. Mikey is already concerned that their interests are not aligned. He’d prefer to keep his feet firmly on solid ground.
Finally, we get to check back in with Mikey. He survived mountaineering, but will he survive Natasha? He having second thoughts about his match. Today these two are going snow skiing. Mikey feels like Natasha may be too high maintenance for him. Natasha is concerned that Mikey isn’t enough of an alpha male for her. It doesn’t look like either of them have skied before. They were taking lessons on the bunny slope. But then Mikey comes flying down the slopes like an Olympic skier and that is all it too to impress Natasha.
Hayley & David
These newlyweds are honeymooning in Singapore. If nothing else, we are getting to see lots of travel spots on the other end of the world. Hayley is the former drug addict who has been itching to tell David all about her past since the second she laid eyes on him. And I keep telling her through the TV to let him get to know her first! It’s day two! But she doesn’t listen to me and just puts it out there. He’s fine with it. Whew!
Just when you thought this couple was going to be fine, apparently Hayley felt some type of way about David’s financials when she found out how much he made as a truck driver. So on their trip to the beach on day two, the fallout from that discussion the night before weighs on the experience. David says Hayley made derogatory comments about his hourly wage. Hayley is kind of a bitch. And David is the hot truck driver with a farm! She’s not good enough for him.
The next day the go to dinner together after some time apart. Things start off well and then the experts give them the honeymoon box full of questions and the feeling David has about her mocking his hourly wage (It’s $25 an hour by the way, not exactly chump change). I can’t stand Haley. Neither can David. He wants his own hotel room. I’d be happy to keep him company. He packs his bag and leaves his wedding ring on the table.
Poppy & Luke
Our fourth pair of honeymooners are in Hunter Valley, New South Wales. I wish I had screen grabs of all of the beautiful places. On their first day, they have a very early morning trip on a hot air balloon planned. Poppy is terrified of heights. There are actually three balloons going up. Poppy was terrified but once they got going she seemed to love it. Poppy seems to have gotten over her fears of being with Luke as well. She says they are a great match.
Cathy & Josh
Seriously, how am I supposed to keep up with all of these people? These two are in Daylesford, Victoria. It’s a place known for its mineral springs and spas. All I keep thinking about is poor Mikey dangling his life by a string off the side of a mountain while everyone else is relaxing. These two seem to get along well. Cathy is hoping for more romance so she is going to wear a tiny bikini to the spa. It seems to do the trick. Things got very hot at the hot springs. These two have had no issues at all on their honeymoon and the romance is heating up! Well at least one couple is happy. Cathy seems to be falling in love.
Vanessa & Chris
Our sixth and final honeymooning couple of the night is in Hervey Bay, Queensland at a beach resort. Their activity is a plane ride over nearby Fraiser Island in a tiny plane. I do not like tiny planes. Where is the first class cabin? Fraiser Island has dingos! I would not like Fraiser Island! Do we think Vanessa’s hair is all hers?
Oh! They are landing on Fraiser Island for a picnic. Watch out for dingos! Hide your babies! Chris tells Vanessa that he is attracted to her and that is something she really needed to hear because she has no self confidence at all. She’s quite attractive, but she has really bad acne that she covers in heavy makeup and she doesn’t feel attractive. Vanessa realizes she has to get herself together if she wants to keep Chris.
And now on to the next episode. I don’t know why we get them two at a time, but we do.
Connie & Jonethen
Connie 27, and is an aspiring marine biologist from Melbourne who has been single for five years. She’s quirky, shy, introverted and really smart. She’s also pretty in a sexy librarian sort of way. Uncomfortable around men, she spends her time focusing on studying to avoid feeling invisible. Although her mother is against her being part of this experiment, she is determined to find her soulmate, with or without her family’s blessing. Her mom laughs in her face when she tells her she is getting married.
Jonethen 27, is a fun-loving guy living on the Gold Coast with a job that he feels has inhibited his ability to find “the one.” AGAIN! THESE TWO ARE 1,700 miles apart! WHY DO THEY DO THIS? He has found it difficult to maintain any relationship beyond a few months. Jonethen is one of five boys from a close-knit family and he now believes it is time to mature and find a girl to settle down with for the long term.
I so want this wedding to go well for Connie. Do all the women in Australia have massive tattoos all over their bodies? I’m just saying. Even the nerdy marine biologist has them. Jonethen is getting married in a man bun. Le sigh. The wedding is in Melbourne. Maybe that means her family will show up? And her mother does show up. But she makes it clear she doesn’t even count this as a real wedding. She’s just there to shoot looks of disapproval at Jonethen. It would not shock me if she jumps up and objects in the middle of the ceremony. She’s so nasty. No wonder Connie is so introverted. Her mother sucks all the air out of the room.
They both have huge smiles on their faces when they see each other for the first time. This is good. I hope she moves to be with him. She needs to be at least 1,700 miles away from her mother. OMG what is wrong with me I am tearing up over these vows. They seem perfect for each other! They are both so happy! But at the reception, Connie’s sourpuss mom is dragging down her spirit. Her mom’s meanness and disapproval is stinking up the whole room.
When Connie goes to the restroom, Jonethen bravely approaches the witch. She’s surprisingly fake polite to him. And he makes a run for it as soon a it is polite. Then it was time for the bride and groom to give their speeches. Jonethen got chocked up a bit and Connie’s mom, got up and told him he did a great job. Aw, she has a heart after all! She’s going to come around. Then we get a lovely first dance from the couple.
Aleks & Ivan
Aleksandra, 26, was born and raised in Perth and grew up in a strict Serbian household and although her parents disagree with her participation in the experiment, she feels the dating pool in her town is too small to meet Mr. Right. Um, Perth has a population of two million people. I’m not sure that is the problem here. She’s a real estate agent. Driven, fiery and outspoken, Aleks knows exactly what she wants in a relationship and is ready to get married and settle into the life she has always imagined for herself. She’s very hurt that her traditional Serbian parents are refusing to attend her wedding.
Ivan 30, is a Ukrainian-born straight shooter with traditional family values. The Sydney-based real estate agent is hard-working and ambitious with strong opinions. Two real estate agents together doesn’t sound wise to be. I used to be one. I know how they are. Although he is direct, underneath his tough exterior is a sentimental romantic who believes in true love. Again, these two live FOUR THOUSAND MILES AWAY ON OPPOSITE COASTS! Why is this even a consideration? He seems like a tool. He reminds me of Simon from RHONY for all the wrong reasons.
Their wedding is in Sidney. Aleks is hoping for Channing Tatum. Aleks is getting Pee Wee Herman. I’m a bit nervous about this one. Aleks’s dress is stunning and feels Serbian. Ivan struts in like a peacock in his skinny cut European pants and patent leather shoes with no socks. Aleks comes down the aisle like someone is chasing her from behind. I was worried that Aleks was going to be rude. But their ceremony was playful and sweet. They both seem happy with each other for now. Especially, Ivan.
At the wedding reception, these to get along great. Aleks says that Ivan is the male version of him. They both sass talk each other and are thrilled they are both real estate agents. But, Jonethen is extremely worried about his mother’s performance at the reception. What is she going to perform? Why is she calling Aleks up to join her? I’m scared! She sings “Close To You” very off key and Aleks, bless her heart joins right in with her. It was sweet. Even if Jonethen was mortified.
His face is bright red and he tells Aleks that he almost walked out. Aleks says his mom doesn’t realize what she’s just done. Everyone loved it except for Jonethen. Lighten up, Jonethen! Jonethen is having a total temper tantrum. This is bad. While Jonethen goes to cry in a darkened room along, Aleks is left to introduce herself to his family alone. WTF is his deal? Eventually, he gets over himself and pulls it together and comes back out to dance with his bride.