Now, it’s time to temporarily leave TLC and return to Bravo for another Below Deck Med Recap. I am a bit unhappy that Hannah gets fired this season for hooking up with a guest again. Can’t a chief stew get a little guest dick once in a while? It’s very stressful having to work for Captain Sandy. She needs some stress relief! I really hate this boat. And Captain Sandy. But I love all the travel porn from Spain. Maybe we will catch a glimpse of Tuatha!
We pick up on the first night of the first charter with Lara already having an attitude with Hannah. She’s going to have to get herself together or Lara isn’t going to last the whole season. Meanwhile, Malia is in her bunk chatting with her boyfriend Tom who is also in yachting. He’s a chef. She’s telling him that her deckhands are already bromancing each other which concerns her. She’s going to have to tell Pete to stop calling her sweatheart and she needs to do it in front of all the guys. Clearly, she has a thing for chefs. Surely this one can’t be as big of a dickwad as Adam is.
The charter guests are so drunk that they don’t realize that Rock Paper Scissors is a two person thing. And also, it is not a drinking game. Later they ask Jessica to hide Smirnoff Ice in the guests belongings. Whoever finds one has to chug it. And they all hate Smirnoff Ice, so it’s an odd in scene commercial.
Confessions Of A Former Drug Runner
Jessica is a quarter Japanese and her Japanese grandmother always told her to do her best at everything she does. I like Jessica. Her first task is to makes some fresh squeezed OJ for Captain Sandy. I don’t recall Captain Lee every asking for anything. Kate just seems to know what he wants before he knows he wants it. I miss Captain Lee. I need to send him an email and see how he is doing. Lara, the former chief stew, doesn’t seem to realize that she needs to take egg orders from the guests. And then she doesn’t serve them. They just sit on the counter getting cold. Then Lana tries to boss Jessica around.
The South African deckhand, Rob confesses that he used to drive a car full of illegal drugs to the airport to make fast money to take car of his mother. She needed rehab for alcohol. Sadly, she died of liver failure. Perhaps I should put the wine down now. Meanwhile, Jessica is already crying over Lara’s aggressions toward her. Eventually, she downloads Hannah on the events of breakfast. Lara can’t even get along with Kiko for fucksake. Lara is completely useless. And so annoying. I’ve been highly irritable lately. And she’s not helping.
Lara Needs To Walk The Plank
Lara is sucking up to Sandy and of course she is falling for it. Then she really got into it with Hannah and refused to follow orders. I thought Hannah was going to punch her for a minute. She’s got to go. And so does Sandy. She is still monitoring all the meals. Doesn’t she have anything to do while the boat is anchored. And she is dining with the guests tonight.
Kiko forgot to include a plate for Captain Sandy at dinner so one of the primaries didn’t have a first course and Kiko had to remake. Then the steaks were tough. Why is Captain Sandy asking if Kiko tried the steaks? You don’t cut into someone’s steak you idiot. Then, she radioed him to tell him the steaks were not tough, they were just using butter knives. Maybe we can keep Kiko all season after all. His carrot cake is beautiful. Now I want carrot cake.
I’m the Bosun, Sweetheart
YAY doe Malia lecturing Pete on his dismissive behavior toward her. You go girl! I just wish she had mentioned the sweetheart crap. It’s time to offload these charter guests. They were pretty easy going guests which is great for the first charter. Captain Sandy complimented Kiko, Hannah and Malia. Malia cries tears of joy. They got a Tip of 18,000€. Almost $1,700 each. Hannah goes to Sandy about Lara. Sandy is absolutely no help. Then Hannah has a talk with Lara. Lara tells Hannah the more she pisses her off the less she will work. Lara basically tells Hannah how it is going to be. NOPE! She picked the wrong chief stew. Hannah goes to get Captain Sandy. Sandy asks, “Do I have to go now, can I eat my cereal?”
To Be Continued… Next week the guests include Roy Orbison Jr. and some guy from Ace of Bass. And they have a kid. And it looks like Lara is still there. Oh wait. Maybe not.