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You are here: Home / Below Deck / Below Deck Med Recap: You Can’t Touch This!

Below Deck Med Recap: You Can’t Touch This!

June 8, 2020 by tamaratattles 36 Comments

Below Deck Med Recap
Now, it’s time to temporarily leave TLC and return to Bravo for another Below Deck Med Recap. I am a bit unhappy that Hannah gets fired this season for hooking up with a guest  again. Can’t a chief stew get a little guest dick once in a while? It’s very stressful having to work for Captain Sandy. She needs some stress relief! I really hate this boat. And Captain Sandy. But I love all the travel porn from Spain. Maybe we will catch a glimpse of Tuatha!

Drinking Games

We pick up on the first night of the first charter with Lara already having an attitude with Hannah. She’s going to have to get herself together or Lara isn’t going to last the whole season. Meanwhile, Malia is in her bunk chatting with her boyfriend Tom who is also in yachting. He’s a chef. She’s telling him that her deckhands are already bromancing each other which concerns her. She’s going to have to tell Pete to stop calling her sweatheart and she needs to do it in front of all the guys. Clearly, she has a thing for chefs. Surely this one can’t be as big of a dickwad as Adam is.

Click Here For More Below Deck Med Recaps! 

The charter guests are so drunk that they don’t realize that Rock Paper Scissors is a two person thing. And also, it is not a drinking game. Later they ask Jessica to hide Smirnoff Ice in the guests belongings. Whoever finds one has to chug it. And they all hate Smirnoff Ice, so it’s an odd in scene commercial.

Confessions Of A Former Drug Runner

Jessica is a quarter Japanese and her Japanese grandmother always told her to do her best at everything she does. I like Jessica. Her first task is to makes some fresh squeezed OJ for Captain Sandy. I don’t recall Captain Lee every asking for anything. Kate just seems to know what he wants before he knows he wants it. I miss Captain Lee. I need to send him an email and see how he is doing. Lara, the former chief stew, doesn’t seem to realize that she needs to take egg orders from the guests. And then she doesn’t serve them. They just sit on the counter getting cold. Then Lana tries to boss Jessica around.

Click Here For More Below Deck Med Recaps! 

The South African deckhand, Rob confesses that he used to drive a car full of illegal drugs to the airport to make fast money to take car of his mother. She needed rehab for alcohol. Sadly, she died of liver failure. Perhaps I should put the wine down now. Meanwhile, Jessica is already crying over Lara’s aggressions toward her. Eventually, she downloads Hannah on the events of breakfast. Lara can’t even get along with Kiko for fucksake. Lara is completely useless. And so annoying. I’ve been highly irritable lately. And she’s not helping.

Lara Needs To Walk The Plank

Lara is sucking up to Sandy and of course she is falling for it. Then she really got into it with Hannah and refused to follow orders. I thought Hannah was going to punch her for a minute. She’s got to go. And so does Sandy. She is still monitoring all the meals. Doesn’t she have anything to do while the boat is anchored. And she is dining with the guests tonight.

Click Here For More Below Deck Med Recaps! 

Kiko forgot to include a plate for Captain Sandy at dinner so one of the primaries didn’t have a first course and Kiko had to remake. Then the steaks were tough. Why is Captain Sandy asking if Kiko tried the steaks? You don’t cut into someone’s steak you idiot. Then, she radioed him to tell him the steaks were not tough, they were just using butter knives. Maybe we can keep Kiko all season after all. His carrot cake is beautiful. Now I want carrot cake.

Below Deck Med RecapI’m the Bosun, Sweetheart

YAY doe Malia lecturing Pete on his dismissive behavior toward her. You go girl! I just wish she had mentioned the sweetheart crap. It’s time to offload these charter guests. They were pretty easy going guests which is great for the first charter. Captain Sandy complimented Kiko, Hannah and Malia. Malia cries tears of joy. They got a Tip of 18,000€. Almost $1,700 each. Hannah goes to Sandy about Lara. Sandy is absolutely no help. Then Hannah has a talk with Lara. Lara tells Hannah the more she pisses her off the less she will work. Lara basically tells Hannah how it is going to be. NOPE! She picked the wrong chief stew. Hannah goes to get Captain Sandy. Sandy asks, “Do I have to go now, can I eat my cereal?”

Click Here For More Below Deck Med Recaps! 

To Be Continued… Next week the guests include Roy Orbison Jr. and some guy from Ace of Bass. And they have a kid. And it looks like Lara is still there. Oh wait. Maybe not.

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Alex Radcliffe, Below Deck, Below Deck Med, Below Deck Med Recap, Below Deck Mediterranean, Captain Sandy, Chef Hindrigo "Kiko" Lorran, Chef Kiko, Hannah Ferrier, Jessica More, Lara Flumiani, Malia White, Pete Hunziker, Robert Westergaard

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. DawnMammer says

    June 8, 2020 at 11:13 pm

    My jaw was on the floor throughout the whole episode. I have never seen someone be so disrespectful right out of the gate. Sandy has always had it out for Hannah so not shocked that she was absolutely no support to Hannah. I would throw Lara overboard… then Sandy.

    Reply
    • MelG says

      June 8, 2020 at 11:51 pm

      AGREE!!!!!

      Reply
  2. Tim E says

    June 8, 2020 at 11:32 pm

    Hooking up with a guest? She’s got herself a baby daddy already. This’ll be interesting

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:41 am

      Maybe that is the baby daddy?

      Reply
      • Louise says

        June 9, 2020 at 3:49 am

        Didn’t she make the comment that she came back to Australia during the break and she met him then? If so I sense a storm ahead .

        Reply
  3. therealdeb says

    June 8, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    I generally think Hannah is a useless cunt, but I wanted to throat punch Lara for her. Holy shit, when I want to defend Hannah y’all know it’s bad. Lara needs to be brought down about a thousand levels, she’s even worse than Jenna.

    Reply
    • Navymommy says

      June 9, 2020 at 4:04 am

      My sentiments exactly.

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      June 9, 2020 at 1:56 pm

      Agree. Lara is worse that the Bruhs from last Below Deck as far as disobeying a DIRECT ORDER. (The Bruhs were worse in the overall realm of douchecanoes.) Following direct orders from a superior is more than ego, it is for safety. You JUST DO IT. Lara, fucking strega, and not in a good way.

      Reply
  4. ericzku says

    June 8, 2020 at 11:57 pm

    I haven’t really been paying attention to this show so far, but tonight I actually watched parts of it.

    Wow, that Lara is a capital-C passive-agressive CUNT. That whole “the more you piss me off the less I will work; that’s how it is” is some bullshit that can not be entertained. She needs to be terminated NOW.

    And wait…the chef doesn’t know what eggs over easy are? That’s…bad.

    “…I don’t recall Captain Lee ever asking for anything. Kate just seems to know what he wants before he knows he wants it…”

    YES. Anticipating needs and meeting them proactively is the hallmark of excellent service. This is a concept that quite a few stews in Below Deck history just couldn’t grasp.

    Reply
    • rufustheragdoll says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:37 am

      Um, I don’t know what eggs over easy are either – not an expression I’ve heard used in Australia, I think its a language thing & English isn’t his native tongue.

      Lara is an aggressive bitch who can’t even do service properly – and I loath Captain Sandy – she’s a passive aggressive micromanager that seems to hate women.

      Reply
      • Nanette says

        June 9, 2020 at 2:03 pm

        Just WHAT can Lara do? She looked tonight like cleaning toilets is her forte and not good at, or for, anything else.

        She MUST be a plant like “chef” Mila must have been a plant.

        If Hannah reported to Sandy that Lara told her she was purposely 1/2 hour late to repay Hannah’s disrespect, I think Sandy woukd have axed her. Because that left the guests lacking in service. And it is ALL ABOUT the guests (and Sandy in her own eyes).

        Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        June 9, 2020 at 5:15 pm

        I just said the same thing before reading your post. I don’t eat eggs for breakfast and I don’t know what over easy is either.

        Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 9, 2020 at 5:14 pm

      Eggs over easy is an American thing. Kiko is not American. In fact, American breakfasts with eggs and bacon and pancakes is an American thing. Most European countries have a “continental” breakfast with crusty bread, cheese and fruit.

      Reply
  5. DugoutDiva says

    June 9, 2020 at 12:10 am

    Hannah tweeted a photo of her with a baby bump tonight. Guess she’s not that bummed about getting fired.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 9, 2020 at 2:41 am

      YAY wonder if it was the guest!

      Reply
      • rufustheragdoll says

        June 9, 2020 at 3:13 am

        He’s a Commercial Real Estate agent in Sydney – her new house has a Harbour view so he has $$$. Yayy Hannah!

        Reply
  6. Prycer says

    June 9, 2020 at 1:05 am

    Wow Lara has a serious attitude problem (Attitude Annie). Totally agree that Sandy was useless in helping reeling in Lara. She should of been fired right after that charter.I can some what understand Lara having issues with Hannah but she couldn’t even get along with Kiko and Jessica.

    Reply
    • therealdeb says

      June 9, 2020 at 1:15 am

      She has this very arrogant air about her that I just find revolting. Over know. A few people like that and I just wanted to drop kick them.

      Reply
  7. rufustheragdoll says

    June 9, 2020 at 2:01 am

    Hannah gets fired? Anyway she announced today on her instagram that she is pregnant, due in October so I doubt she cares! Congratulations to Hannah & her bf. He is in commercial real estate in Sydney & her new home has harbour views so well done!

    Reply
  8. Joanne Clark says

    June 9, 2020 at 2:16 am

    Omg I hate Lara. She is absolutely horrible. The way she was basically blackmailing her superior about doing work. She’s so arrogant without warrant. She was a mess at breakfast surface. Not a huge Hannah lover but feel for her. Sandy also ticks me off.

    Reply
  9. SD says

    June 9, 2020 at 4:13 am

    I’m glad to see you all are as annoyed at Lara as I am! You just don’t talk back to your superior like she does. She’s so smug and disrespectful and seems proud that she was raised to be that way. I would have gone to Sandy and rattled off all the reasons she needs to be fired. And she moves so slowly! Everyone else walks quickly, but she just saunters around like there’s no rush to get anything done. She can’t be gone soon enough for me.

    Reply
    • Joanne Clark says

      June 9, 2020 at 12:03 pm

      I know right? She acts like she’s doing everyone a favor by working. I can see a lot of people clashing with her if she stays. But that’s probably why she’ll stsy.

      Reply
  10. tuatha12 says

    June 9, 2020 at 5:22 am

    I stopped watching this show when Capt Sandy arrived. Hannah I always found to be a controlling drunk hag however I think all she ever wanted was a “RICH” husband and a baby to seal the deal…so she is a happy little bunny.

    TT there will be no watching or participating in travel porn during Madness In Morocco……we would get arrested and between us cause an International Incident due to lack of Merlot.

    Reply
  11. Bushwick says

    June 9, 2020 at 10:51 am

    I’m actually enjoying watching Lara torture Hannah. Everytime Hannah’s mouth tenses up into that grimace, I chuckle. We’ve seen countless times how Hannah has used her position and ranking to bend the rules and be less than kind to her crew mates.

    Besides, Lara’s behavior is SO OVER THE TOP it has to be scripted. There is no way she could get another yachting job after this display. She must be counting on acting to be her next career move.

    Reply
    • PamBear says

      June 9, 2020 at 6:10 pm

      I think Hannah and Lara are evenly yoked.

      Hannah has always been an awful lead stew and has been incredibly aggressive with her co workers throughout her stint on this show, once she heard Lara was gunning for her job she had flash backs of bugsy and made up her mind about her.

      Kate was at least great at her job and knew how to keep her boss and the charter guest happy and I remember her shutting down a lot of the drama with her subordinates, Hannah is awful and not surprised she gets fired.

      Lara sucks too but I am going to enjoy her annoying Hannah.

      Reply
  12. kimmy says

    June 9, 2020 at 12:15 pm

    I too kinda enjoy watching Lara torture Hannah. Lara should be fired already but I want to see more! I hope she stays for another charter. Spoiler! I didn’t know Hannah gets fired this season. Good though. I’ve never liked her. A bit of a hypocrite. Remember when she went to the captain to rat out Deckhand Danny for fraternizing with guests?
    I miss Captain Mark. Anyone know why he was replaced with Sandy?

    Reply
    • Bushwick says

      June 9, 2020 at 1:45 pm

      Totally! I hope Lara lasts the whole season. Time for Hannahto get her comeuppance. Brooke, Joao, Danny, Bobby & Bugsy must be enjoying this season. I too didn’t know Hannah was fired for fraternizing with another guest. Bye Felicia.

      The antics are so preposterous we may as well be watching a National Lampoon production. Lara is off the chain. And they expect us to believe that after a year abroad in Boston Kiko doesn’t know what eggs over are? They also want us to believe that in real life, that deckhand would actually call Malia sweetheart when she’s his boss AND the captain is a woman? LMAO!!!

      For the record, that primary was so FOINE I would have wanted to give him one. Just sayin….

      Reply
  13. Ingrid says

    June 9, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    I am not a chef, and I generally only eat eggs scrambled or hard boiled , but isn’t over easy just a sunny side up egg flipped over? Does it taste that different?
    I would love to see a map of the cruises they take (I am a map girl), because I think sometimes they just circle around off shore, go a few miles up and down the coast and that’s it.

    Reply
    • belladonna says

      June 9, 2020 at 4:48 pm

      Over easy is a way to keep the yolks runny while the whites are cooked.

      Is reading the recap because I really don’t like Captain Sandy or Lara. The chef is hot but do I really want his food so far? Meh.

      Reply
    • Prycer says

      June 9, 2020 at 4:49 pm

      I thought over easy was the same as sunny side up. Maybe he has only heard of sunny side up or maybe since English is his second language he didn’t know what over easy is. Shit I’m not a Chef, I don’t know. I myself like scrambled and a fried egg. His food looks good especially that Carrot Cake and I am not a big fan of CC.

      Reply
      • FAV4 says

        June 10, 2020 at 6:34 pm

        Sunny side up – You don’t flip the egg over which would be over light.

        Reply
  14. Shell_d says

    June 9, 2020 at 9:09 pm

    Lana is a c u next Tuesday. Even though Hannah is a hot mess, Lana needs to be chin checked. Sandy being worthless as ever, will torture Hannah with her as long as possible. Sandy uggh, she not nearly as charming as she thinks she is. Just Captain the boat and stop trying to get into as many scenes as possible. I miss Captain Glenn!

    Reply
    • belladonna says

      June 9, 2020 at 10:11 pm

      Can you imagine being the boss of someone like Lara. Often we are not able to fire someone, but we’re bad managers if we can’t get someone like her to not be a back talking bitch.

      Reply
  15. GirlFromKY says

    June 10, 2020 at 11:35 am

    It is so hard and really unfair that women bosses have such a hard way to go with their positions of authority. If Hannah were a man, we could bet big money that Lara wouldnt even consider treating her like that. If Sandy were a man, people wouldn’t give her a hard way to go about the bitch micromanaging accusations she receives. If bosun Malia were a man, the word sweetheart wouldn’t even be thought of. I remember in my corporate days of having various female assistants the crystal clarity of how they treated me differently than my male colleagues. It was very hurtful and very frustrating to have to carry such an ongoing stigma and unfair battle.

    Reply
    • Shell_d says

      June 11, 2020 at 7:49 am

      Sandy is not an example of a good supervisor, regardless if she’s a man or a woman. Micromanaging is a horrible trait for a boss. If sheyeffective in directing staff she doesn’t need to micromanage. I hate how she gets involved in the personal relationships of her staff, if it’s not involving work, then she shouldn’t be involved. She so much reminds me of a former supervisor who is a woman. She has been the worst supervisor I’ve ever had in my professional career. And I’ve worked for other women.

      Reply
  16. Kerry says

    June 11, 2020 at 1:26 pm

    Tamara- Great recap. The scenes with Captain Sandy and the guests are awkward and make me uncomfortable. While the guests are eating she seems to linger, fishing for compliments or negative feedback on the food and service. I think it’s ok to ask once during or after the meal but she makes such a big deal out of it and scolds her staff in front of the guests which I don’t think is ever acceptable.

    Reply

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