Y’all I’ve had a seriously stressful day. Lawn Kid is driving me up the motherfucking wall. I’m probably too drunk to do this RHONY recap, but since when has that ever stopped me. I am literally raging in my house. He is an a constant SUCKHOLE of need. And I am just trying to keep my own head above water. It’s literally 24/7. And Banjo has to be coaxed to eat and even that is not working. Sorry. There is just a lot of shit happening in my semi-quarantine. Let’s get on with the show. And BTW, thanks Miz Grandma for sending food for Lawn Kid. If I ever see him again I will aim for his head as I throw them at him. He’s spoiled and doesn’t need anything else.
My DVR is cutting in and out because SPECTRUM SUCKS. Are we really picking up in the middle of a bitchfight? Leah says she is in the middle of a breakup and that is why she is drinking too much. I can only imagine how she is holding up in a pandemic. Because for me the answer is not so well and venturing out for obscene amounts of boxed wine. Leah’s sister Sarah shows up and the cunts are ready to go in. I’ve been too mad to eat today and that is never good. So apologies in advance for this drunken recap.
I’m confused did Tins just say she has made out with her sister? To learn how to kiss? Is that a thing? I have siblings but I barely lived with them and now the not dead ones want to tell me how to live my life. As if they know me. Please. Other than shouting advice I never hear from them.
Why does Ramona have a ring light in her bathroom. Okay, this is going to be less of a recap and more of my WTF moments of this episode. Dorinda has been drinking all day and shows up at Luann’s. Dorinda and John broke up. Luann pretends like she doesn’t know how to open a wine bottle. Dorinda pretends like she is upset about breaking up with John.
It’s A Geriatric Edition Of Girls Gone Wild
It’s time for everyone to humiliate themselves at a restaurant. Ramona of course tries to whore herself out. SHOCKER! Meanwhile I have to pause again to make my dog eat. This is not good. Ramona is still at the bar trying to get laid. Sonja is also whoring herself out. I am just so over this season. I miss Bethenny. These people are way more drunk than me and that is saying something. The guys all look nervous. This is all too much to even try to recap. How do you even have a libido at Ramona and Sonja’s age? I could give a crap about a penis at this point.
I am not even going to bother to recap these drunken fights. I am with Dorinda. I should have stayed home and not even attempted to recap this. I am so sick of recapping this bullshit. This is the Sonja holding squashes on her head scene. I don’t think I have ever been as drunk as Sonja. Leah throws ravioli on Sonja. Good for her. I do nor care about this.
I can’t do a blow by blow in this recap anymore. I want that sweater Leah is wearing. Ramona is a cuntsatchel. I just can’t with this recap. I want to get the fuck out of this country, and the pandemic is making it impossible once Banjo dies.. I am OUT. /Heavy sigh Please let my passport come. I do not care about Luann.