This Pump Rules recap is going to be a hot mess. There are way too many people on remote. It’s going to be a shitstorm if Andy doesn’t use his mute button. Let’s get this show on the road! There are fifteen cameras!
We begin with LVP telling us that all of her restaurant staff are on unemployment with no end in sight with regard to reopening. I saw on my Twitter feed today a photo of PUMP being boarded up to protect the place from looters. My friend who posted it said he drove by when it happened and Ken was nowhere in site. Then allegedly, he called the media and got in the photo. Stassi and Beau have moved into their new house. Andy pokes fun at Jax for saying that it is his show. LVP says she absolutely believes he feels that way. Dayna has become a bartender at SUR at night and a waitress at PUMP by day. Way to secure your spot on the show, girl.
Kristen and Max Have A Secret
I’m already bored. I don’t care about the fight between Sandoval and Stassi over her book party. So on we go to Dayna and Max, with a side of Scheana. Max denies saying he told Dayna he wanted to be exclusive. Then they roll the tape. Andy asks Max if there is anyone else in the restaurant family he has hooked up with. He says yes, Kristen! Okay now I am interested. Everyone is shocked. Kristen confirmed that he hooked up twice. Of course Stassi freaks out. Dayna is pissed that Kristen didn’t say anything to her. James goes in Kristen. The Kristen bashing has begun. Why does Stassi care so very much who Kristen sleeps with? Even Andy doesn’t get why Stassi thinks she has skin in this game. James calls Kristen a piece of shit. What happened to kinder, gentler, sober James?
Then everyone screams at Charli. Which I am fine with. But can we move on? Wait Brittany thinks Charli is the most disrespectful person she’s ever met because she calls Jax “old man?” Did she forget who she was married too? Then Jax calls Charli disrespectful? REALLY?
Lala And Ariana (& Tom) Squash A Beef
The other women get on Schwartzy for the way he talks to Katie. I think she deserves it. Jax apologizes for saying that Ariana needs to figure out what sexuality she is. He says that was just garbage coming out of his mouth. You know, like everything else he says. Andy holds his feet to the fire and points out he has said it more than once and he said it on WWHL.
Apparently, Lala went on an IG live rant about Tom and Ariana recently saying they were not a safe place…whatever that means. She says on the reunion that she felt like once she was friends with everyone else she felt like Tom and Ariana weren’t that into her anymore. Tom and Ariana said as soon as Lala was accepted by others she started vacationing with the others and ignoring them. Which she did. Lala cries and says she was hurt when Ariana was telling people she needed to toughen up when her dad died. Ariana apologizes and Lala accepts the apology. Well, at least one feud got resolved.
Tom And Jax Feud Round One
Next up, it’s the Tom and Sandoval feud. Sandoval’s pink pants, black tee shirt and baby blue jacket is a disappointing look. Apparently, Jax’s real issue with Sandoval is because he brought up the homophobic pastor on camera and he “could have lost everything.” Basically, Sandoval was exposing him to accusations of homophobia and that would effect his income. Did I mention I’m bored?
Also, somehow the very old tweets of Max and Brett with racist overtones play into this. Jax seems to think that Sandoval should have fired them. LVP told Jax to shut up. Then she said she does the firing and if she fired everyone who makes mistakes none of them would have a job. Max and Brett look mortified. Andy asks them if they have anything they want to say about the old tweets. Max apologizes for the tweets. He is an adult now and cringes that he even said that. His black grandfather raised him. His mother is half black. Brett also apologizes. So really, can we move on? LVP vouches for both of them saying she’s never seen any sort of indication that those tweets represent their true and present beliefs.
Homophobia Gate (AKA Jax and Sandoval Round Two)
Also Brett and Max look HOT! Sad and embarrassed, but hot. Andy wants to get back to the Jax and Tom feud. Scheana and Stassi both think that Sandoval and Ariana were just trying to give Jax and Brittany a heads up about the pastor. Stassi does think that Sandoval was questioning their motives. It seems she thinks that Sandoval was low key saying Jax and Brittany didn’t care about their homophobic pastor and weren’t going to do anything about it until LVP stepped in. Brittany has a huge meltdown and says this was one of the hardest things she ever had to go through. Really? What an easy life she must have.
Brittany says she has only seen one bad tweet from the pastor. She contacted him and told him if he is homophobic, she cannot have him officiate her wedding. He convinced her that was not the case. Then, LVP saw all the drama on social media and called Jax and Brittany to give them more information. LVP swears that Brittany was blindsided.
Jax And Sandoval Round Three
Sandoval goes off saying that he has been the best friend to Jax of anyone Jax has ever known. Yet, no one, friend or foe has done more fucked up things to him than Jax. Jax responds with, “Yet, you still wanted to come to my wedding.” Jax says he didn’t want Sandoval to come. Sandoval says Jax told him he expected him to fly there and surprise him. And he said the same thing about his mother, thinking she would come and surprise him, “after all the fucked up shit she has said about her!” BOOM! The MOM CARD is in play. Everyone freaks out. Especially Jax. But, I’m sorry, it’s true. Jax is horrible to his mother.
Oh God. There is another reunion episode. What have we done to deserve this? Apparently, here was not enough Kristen bashing on this episode, so we need another.