This Pump Rules recap is going to be a hot mess. There are way too many people on remote. It’s going to be a shitstorm if Andy doesn’t use his mute button. Let’s get this show on the road! There are fifteen cameras!
We begin with LVP telling us that all of her restaurant staff are on unemployment with no end in sight with regard to reopening. I saw on my Twitter feed today a photo of PUMP being boarded up to protect the place from looters. My friend who posted it said he drove by when it happened and Ken was nowhere in site. Then allegedly, he called the media and got in the photo. Stassi and Beau have moved into their new house. Andy pokes fun at Jax for saying that it is his show. LVP says she absolutely believes he feels that way. Dayna has become a bartender at SUR at night and a waitress at PUMP by day. Way to secure your spot on the show, girl.
Kristen and Max Have A Secret
I’m already bored. I don’t care about the fight between Sandoval and Stassi over her book party. So on we go to Dayna and Max, with a side of Scheana. Max denies saying he told Dayna he wanted to be exclusive. Then they roll the tape. Andy asks Max if there is anyone else in the restaurant family he has hooked up with. He says yes, Kristen! Okay now I am interested. Everyone is shocked. Kristen confirmed that he hooked up twice. Of course Stassi freaks out. Dayna is pissed that Kristen didn’t say anything to her. James goes in Kristen. The Kristen bashing has begun. Why does Stassi care so very much who Kristen sleeps with? Even Andy doesn’t get why Stassi thinks she has skin in this game. James calls Kristen a piece of shit. What happened to kinder, gentler, sober James?
Then everyone screams at Charli. Which I am fine with. But can we move on? Wait Brittany thinks Charli is the most disrespectful person she’s ever met because she calls Jax “old man?” Did she forget who she was married too? Then Jax calls Charli disrespectful? REALLY?
Lala And Ariana (& Tom) Squash A Beef
The other women get on Schwartzy for the way he talks to Katie. I think she deserves it. Jax apologizes for saying that Ariana needs to figure out what sexuality she is. He says that was just garbage coming out of his mouth. You know, like everything else he says. Andy holds his feet to the fire and points out he has said it more than once and he said it on WWHL.
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Apparently, Lala went on an IG live rant about Tom and Ariana recently saying they were not a safe place…whatever that means. She says on the reunion that she felt like once she was friends with everyone else she felt like Tom and Ariana weren’t that into her anymore. Tom and Ariana said as soon as Lala was accepted by others she started vacationing with the others and ignoring them. Which she did. Lala cries and says she was hurt when Ariana was telling people she needed to toughen up when her dad died. Ariana apologizes and Lala accepts the apology. Well, at least one feud got resolved.
Tom And Jax Feud Round One
Next up, it’s the Tom and Sandoval feud. Sandoval’s pink pants, black tee shirt and baby blue jacket is a disappointing look. Apparently, Jax’s real issue with Sandoval is because he brought up the homophobic pastor on camera and he “could have lost everything.” Basically, Sandoval was exposing him to accusations of homophobia and that would effect his income. Did I mention I’m bored?
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Also, somehow the very old tweets of Max and Brett with racist overtones play into this. Jax seems to think that Sandoval should have fired them. LVP told Jax to shut up. Then she said she does the firing and if she fired everyone who makes mistakes none of them would have a job. Max and Brett look mortified. Andy asks them if they have anything they want to say about the old tweets. Max apologizes for the tweets. He is an adult now and cringes that he even said that. His black grandfather raised him. His mother is half black. Brett also apologizes. So really, can we move on? LVP vouches for both of them saying she’s never seen any sort of indication that those tweets represent their true and present beliefs.
Homophobia Gate (AKA Jax and Sandoval Round Two)
Also Brett and Max look HOT! Sad and embarrassed, but hot. Andy wants to get back to the Jax and Tom feud. Scheana and Stassi both think that Sandoval and Ariana were just trying to give Jax and Brittany a heads up about the pastor. Stassi does think that Sandoval was questioning their motives. It seems she thinks that Sandoval was low key saying Jax and Brittany didn’t care about their homophobic pastor and weren’t going to do anything about it until LVP stepped in. Brittany has a huge meltdown and says this was one of the hardest things she ever had to go through. Really? What an easy life she must have.
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Brittany says she has only seen one bad tweet from the pastor. She contacted him and told him if he is homophobic, she cannot have him officiate her wedding. He convinced her that was not the case. Then, LVP saw all the drama on social media and called Jax and Brittany to give them more information. LVP swears that Brittany was blindsided.
Jax And Sandoval Round Three
Sandoval goes off saying that he has been the best friend to Jax of anyone Jax has ever known. Yet, no one, friend or foe has done more fucked up things to him than Jax. Jax responds with, “Yet, you still wanted to come to my wedding.” Jax says he didn’t want Sandoval to come. Sandoval says Jax told him he expected him to fly there and surprise him. And he said the same thing about his mother, thinking she would come and surprise him, “after all the fucked up shit she has said about her!” BOOM! The MOM CARD is in play. Everyone freaks out. Especially Jax. But, I’m sorry, it’s true. Jax is horrible to his mother.
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Oh God. There is another reunion episode. What have we done to deserve this? Apparently, here was not enough Kristen bashing on this episode, so we need another.
I could do with more Jax bashing. I cannot stand him. He is disgusting and deserves all the shit he gets. Of all of them, he is the worst.
And the way he spoke to Ariana, was disgusting and LVP never called him out on that but when Charli said something LVP gets her knickers in knot. Charli was amazing. The clap backs and the I do not give a fuck attitude made the reunion.
I was living for Charli calling Jax to the carpet for his rude comments. He needs to be called out.
Charli held her own! LOVED how quick she clapped back when Jax said he fell asleep, and she’s like, “well, yeah it’s past your bedtime. Better get to it old man.” 😂 that was everything. Why the fuck does Lala stick up for Jax so much?’noh yeah, bc he is closest in age to Randall. Such bullhsit. I can’t stand Brittany either.
Thank you suffering through this reunion, I just didn’t have it in me to watch.
You’re welcome. It was mind numbing. I kept waiting for it to start. It never really did. I did love the fact that Kristen slept with Max. TWICE! lol. Mostly because it enraged the the bitches.
I love how pissed off stassi got at this. She’s like finally I have a chance to make kristen look bad and myself look good. There’s really no reason she shoulda been that upset about them sleeping together
In my opinion, Stassi had EVERY right to get upset! It shows just how bad of a friend kristen is. Stassi explained herself perfectly. Kristen is still the shady bad friend she was ten years ago when she fucked her best friend’s boyfriend twice. Not to mention her boyfriend’s best friend. She lied about it so emphatically while being a shoulder for Stassi to cry on when Jax would fuck up. Kristen is the devil. I hope she doesn’t return next year.
Plus, hearing that she’s still up to the same shit must have hit a nerve and brought back the old feelings of betrayal. Kristen plays the victim card when she’s a disgusting twat. Team James.
The “team James” swing at the end gave these posts a “friend of Raquel” vibe
What has Jax said about his mother?
Also, Charli needs to go. The peasants comment in Secrets Revealed was too much.
IIRC Jax and his sister were beneficiaries on his father’s life insurance/will etc.. Jax did not pay for the funeral and his coworkers took up a collection to bury him. Jax was furious with his mother for not telling him how sick he was, but apparently he didn’t want his kids to know. He’s been really ugly to her every since. There was more but my brain is mush.
I understand why Jax might be hurt and angry that his mother didn’t tell them, despite his father’s wishes. But it’s an impossible situation his mother was put in, and it’s strange how he can’t be both hurt and have compassion for her. All of his emotional responses seem so extreme and universalizing.
Yes! Jax is upset he lost his dad, so what does he do? He cuts off his mom. Fool. Now he’s set himself up to be full of regret when his mom is gone. Anyway, he should have been keeping in better touch with his dad all along.
He did not invite his mom to his wedding. If Mom was doing what Dad wanted, she was honoring his last wishes. The “kids” should respect that. Jax SAYS looks up to his dad. He needs to ask himself what his father would think of how he treats his mom. WWDD?
Yes.
This. I really can’t stand Jax. Like with every cell of my being.
I’m watching it now. If I had to describe what Dayna is wearing I’d have to say sexy but cheap Jolly Green Giant Halloween costume.
Jax flipped out on Twitter when Charly called him old. Said,” 50-year-old men are the reason women in LA have money” (I’m paraphrasing). I think Jax has shown us over and over he’s misogynistic and homophobic (particularly with what he says about Arianna). This is probably my last season with this show.
I hate Jax & Brittany and wish this would be their last season. Lala looked drunk or high in her Instagram rant. Charli is unnecessary. I don’t know why Schwartz felt a need to try to interpret Jax’s behavior to Sandoval. I felt sorry for Brett & Max (and they did look hot). I like Sandoval’s facial hair. Stassi’s outrage over Kristen having sex with Max was a bit much. Arianna looked very pretty and I’m glad she gets on Jax’s nerves because he gets on mine.
Jax is a douche canoe & his wife this season showed her real self I think. She isn’t this sweet country girl. BUT I think Ariana & Tom’s relationship is odd. I dont think she has feelings for him & is with him to be on the show. I read somewhere Lala & Katie commented only time she is affectionate to him is on camera which isn’t saying much & off camera she berates him & calls him annoying, then again thats coming from Katie who only has sex with her husband maybe once a year …
I cannot get over them living in their gorgeous new house for like six months and not even christening a single room!! They don’t have kids. They don’t even have a regular 9-5 to keep them busy. What is keeping them from being newlyweds?? I don’t understand at all.
It’s an arranged relationship for the show. They have no chemistry at all, never did.
Every relationship on that show is odd.
What a way to get caught up on my trashy tv. At least it’s a break from the actual real world horror show going on at this time. So on to the reunion! What a shit show! Dayna’s look was terrible. Just no. She’s a pretty person; the double lime green super structured dress is not her friend. Still don’t know if I even like her. I wanted to in the beginning but I’m still not sure. Danica is WAY more fun. I love her crazy ass. Charli was so spot on with Jax. I know she’s not well liked, but I found her commentary funny. Sandoval is absolutely adorable. I love him and the constant STL clothes. He just seems like a good guy. Schwartz, buddy, I want to like him and I do mostly but I also want to strangle him. Raquel and James are adorable. Lala used to be one of my favorites but she seemed intoxicated in the Instagram live clip. She didn’t really bring much to the reunion but it was, as TT said, a mind numbing endeavor. I’ll always like Scheana because I just can’t see her being a mean ass bitch for funsies. I don’t understand Brett and Max being hot guys at all! Maybe I’m just too old. Lol. I am younger than Jax so he makes me feel like I’m doing great. Lol. Lala’s lips made me want to call the dermatologist to get their 25% off lip injections deal. I’ve always wanted to try it. I really didn’t like the shaming of Kristen by Stassi at all. Stassi did look really pretty though. Next week looks extra messy. Maybe it’ll be less boring. A girl can hope!
Stay safe everyone! Much love to y’all!
I realized tonight who Jax reminds me of… his mannerisms and everything… Donald Trump. For a long time I’ve been struggling with who it was, like it was on the tip of my tongue but it just wouldn’t come to the forefront of my brain, but now it’s clear as day and I’ll never be able to unsee it.
OMG, lori, now I’ll never be able to unsee it either, lol.
You see it too now? It’s so obvious to me now, it’s crazy.
I knew it was someone I didn’t like but couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
Lol
Actually, if I put my finger on either one of them I’d have to cut it off.
Even worse if they put their fingers on you. Yuck!
OMG, I may have a nightmare over that one.
I’m so over Lala acting the dictator. She’s always telling someone what they can’t do, as if she has the final say. As others have said, she looked drunk in that Insta rant.
As always, Jax is awful. I’m shocked at his rage (toward Tom, Ariana, Charli, etc). He has no empathy, no ability to grasp someone else’s point of view or what they might be feeling. He has no gratitude toward Sandoval, who is right when he says he has been an incredible friend to Jax. Jax sneered at Sandoval for wanting to be at their wedding–but that’s because Sandoval is a loyal and good friend.
I liked Sandoval’s facial hair–he looked good. I also liked the wine color of Max’s suit, though I didn’t like the shirt he paired it with. I didn’t like Schean’s ultra-straight, ultra-long, ultra-black hair–too costumey. And that yellow is not a flattering color.
They all pointed out the terrible way Schwartz talked to Katie, but she has talked to him in terrible and demeaning ways also.
In the teaser, Stassi complains that Kristen made her look like a bad friend. No, Stassi, it’s your own mean-girl and selfish ways that make you look like a bad friend. We’ve seen that since season one.
Nanette,
I am sorry for the loss of your parrot. All pets are family and loved. I can feel your pain during this difficult time.
I agree. Not inviting his mom to the wedding. I can’t even imagine her pain. She lost her husband and now her kids are mad at her. Well at least Jax is. Does Jax’s sister have a relationship with their mom?
Stassi wants any little excuse to go after Kristen. Kristen could forget to brush her teeth and Stassi would freak out on her. I admire Kristen having sex with everyone….Jax does it and the group accepts him, yet Kristen does it and they are outraged. Double standard in the group.
Jax reminds me of an Amish man. I grew up in an Amish community and they have the same beard as he does. I can do without seeing Lisa’s bra.
Jax is a malignant narcissist.
Love the first pic of Lisa “getting ready” for the reunion! So very, very thirsty.
I was shaking my head thinking the exact same thing when the show opened with that.
I am also shocked that Brittany said that was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. Um, what about when Jax cheated on you girl?!!!!
That’s exactly the thought I had when she said that.
Hahahaha!!! Wish Andy or charli would have followed up w that remark!
Lordy, Lisa’s bra!
The outrage from Stassi re Dayna and Kirsten’s “damaged friendship” was classic projecting. Stassi has never forgiven Kristen for screwing Jax, and now she is afraid Kristen will wrap her magic pussy around Beau. I die.
The newbies are so boring.
Jax is a week away from a heart attack. He needs to slow his own roll.
I thought Sandoval looked cute. James, too. My fear for James is that Raquel will dumb him down. . .
Thanks for the recap!
Raquel has a PhD is neuroscience or something. I AM NOT KIDDING. She’s quite book smart. She was just struggling to fit in with the mean girls because she’s used to being pageant nice to people. Nice will get you killed in this group of assholes.
I think that turned out to be not true. She had said she’s planning on going back to school for her master’s in occupational therapy. I believe she has a bachelor’s degree right now in something up that alley. She addressed it either on the last reunion or on wwhl one time.
She probably is smart, but she’s so goofy. Puppy party, focusing on her looks more than her brains, choosing tv over kinesiology. I do love Raquel.
I knew a girl like her in high school. She was ditsy and not a lick of common sense but ended up being our class salutatorian. We were all in shock.
4paz I am dying at Stassi being afraid of Kristen wrapping her magic pussy around Beau. I can see her crying in her closet over this thought (building up to Beau’s lashing, of course).
Oh beau. He will fall to Kristen sooner or later. Pass the popcorn!
I think Kristen should make it her mission to sleep with Beau!
So Lala can go off on people and say horrible things to them and about them, but she gets upset over someone saying she needs to toughen up? Unreal. And why does she think she runs things w/everyone? Telling Charli to stay in her lane, telling Swartz to not say something, and she told someone else (can’t remember who) to stay out of it during a discussion. She thinks she’s Lisa – surprised she doesn’t call it her (Lala’s) show like the other narcissist.
Agreed. Lala was terrible to so many people when she was grieving her father — and I think it went on for two seasons. Ariana lost her father as well but didn’t act like that or get a pass– she got shit on by Kristen and the witches. I hope Lala gets called out for being a miserable bitch (especially to Raquel), but I don’t see that happening since they are all in awe of her “man.” Gross.
I personally loved Charli going after Jax. She was great, and the only one besides Sandoval and Ariana to call him out on his b.s. BTW, Jax knew his dad was sick and it’s his fault for not spending time with him. Jax crucifies his mother on national tv and that is unforgivable.
I’ll bet that if Carter, instead of Randall, had the private jet and money, everyone would be sucking up to Kristen and letting her get away w/whatever she wants. They’d have nothing to do w/Lala. I agree about Charli/Sandoval/Ariana on calling Jax out.
That’s what narcissists do! My mother in law blamed my SIL for my younger brother in law’s death at the age of 42. He was a functioning alcoholic, who was extremely overweight with a heart problem and diabetes but to her, it was the argument that my sister in law had with him that made him die. It was as if she couldn’t handle her perfect son not being perfect. Really weird stuff
So will we find out next week that Kristen is sleeping with good old Schwartzie???
He’s the last man standing that hasn’t admitted to being with her. Either he’s gay or….or…I got nothin…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
LVP my eyes! Put it on, put it on, put it on. Pinky sinky, kinda sag.
Was there a fire sale on small fake topiaries? Brittany and Jax apparently bought them ALL and filled their shelving unit. I notice strange shit.
That’s the first thing I saw too! 🤣
Team Charli!
That’s all.