As I am working on the setups for this Below Deck Med Recap, trying to collect all the new names for the tags (links you can find under every post to navigate to related subjects) the Secret Service and National Guard and God knows who else are tear gassing a large group of protesters who were totally peaceful. WTF? They started shooting them full of tear gas at about 6:15! The curfew is for 7 pm! Now they are bringing in mounted police and shooting rubber bullets. Again, these protesters completely peaceful. Anyway, the Below Deck Sailing Yacht Reunion Recap took forever. And now I have to talk about new people on Below Deck Med. My brain is on the fritz at this point. But I’ll do my best.
Oh wow! Are we going to be in Majorca this season? Maybe my bad bitch friend in Spain will take me there on our National Lampoon’s European vacation next year. You know, if we don’t all die in a fire first. I can’t even check to see if Atlanta is on fire right now because I’m taping two shows. (The other is Beauty and the Baker, I recommend it. It’s cute and mostly light.) It looks like many familiar stories this season, drugs on board, a less than par chef, Captain Sandy and Hannah fighting, Hannah not getting along with her stews, a near drowning incident, just to name a few.
Hannah, Hannah, Sandy?
We begin in the usual way with the chief stew arriving first to talk to the captain 24 hours before the first charter. I totally want to go Majorca. Tuatha needs to find me someone to marry in Spain. With an explicit prenup because I’m not much for going into a business transaction with another these days. The second Captain Sandy opens her mouth I hate her more than ever. She doesn’t get to decide who is cast on the show. So she can shut her damn mouth about Hannah. I can’t stand Captain Sandy because she is the only misogynistic lesbian I’ve ever encountered. Who knew that was a thing? The second thing out of her mouth was “white glove service… table settings…” TWO MINUTES IN AND I ALREADY DESPISE HER.
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Next up is Chef Kiko. He’s hot and I love him before he opens his mouth. Sadly, I don’t think he is long for this show based on the previews. He’s Brazilian and I would marry him so he can have a green card. Wow that is two marriage comments in the first four hundred words. I think I just need to get laid somewhere, somehow, in quarantine in a hazmat suit with a hole. Anyway, Captain Sandy is telling Chef Kiko to use fresh not frozen food. Who tells a yacht chef that? So I am worried that this chef is like that that one female chef who could not cook at all and this is a scripted act and he won’t make it five episodes. Ah we actually get a flashback to Mila. So yes, scripted.
What To Do When The Bosun Doesn’t Have A Penis
Malia is back after three seasons as the bosun! Good for her! Hannah was shocked to see Malia. She has always been extremely jealous of her. Hopefully this season they can get along. #GirlPower The Bosun was supposed to bunk with the chef. But now that the the bosun doesn’t have a penis, she is going to bunk with Hannah leaving the second stew to … bunk with the third stew I guess.
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Pete comes on the boat as a deckhand. He has captained a small boat and is an “ugly American.” It’s a tourist thing. Many Americans have no idea how to have respect in other countries. When Malia tries to pay him a compliment for being a captain on a small boat, and says she has not done that, he immediately says he will be happy to give her pointers. He seems like a dick immediately. Hannah hates him immediately with the front fanny pack and those weird sunglasses that I don’t even know how to describe. So they will probably grudge fuck in episode four. Alex, the Masshole deckhand seems cute and cuddly by comparison. And he’s a Masshole.
Who Knew Lesbians Were So Into Table Settings?
Then we briefly meet Lara, she’s Italian and threat to Hannah when it comes to getting laid…. so her life will be hell. She has a shit ton of experience and has been a chief stew before. Hannah is turning green on camera. Then they just do a sort of Gilligan’s Island “….and the rest are here on Below Deck Med Isle…” sort of thing so I am going to wait to give feedback on the lesser mortals. Oh Lord, Jessica, the third stew is hot and a former Hooter’s girl. I think it is Alex that she has worked with before. Rob has the hots for Jess. I have the hots for Rob. I think I am just hot to trot tonight or something. What is wrong with me? lol
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Captain Sandy has her usual threatening welcome meeting. And we get to meet three of the real crew. Probably never to be seen again unless Kiko sets the kitchen on fire. I remember the season when we the first mate fell ill and hey could not leave for charter on the real Below Deck. Pete the American douchebag is Lead Deckhand. I hate him already. When Hannah tells Lara to focus on table decor she is less than thrilled. Perhaps Captain Sandy can do table decor this season since neither Hannah nor Leah enjoy it. I’d be thrilled to come on board and just be off camera and do table decor. We need a southern stew like Amy (Member her?) to come on and do that. Lara already hates Hannah. I am sort of Team Hannah myself. She’s an acquired taste.
Young, Dumb & Full Of Cum
We are fifteen minutes in and I have so much to say that I’m already a thousand words in! Pete knocked someone up that he barely knew at 19 and now has an eight year old kid. Pete calls his bosun, Malia sweetheart and seems to be ordering her around. Malia makes it clear to Pete that when she needs him to take over, she will let him know. You go, sweetheart!
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Time for the first preference sheet meeting. It lasted ten seconds. Pete is such a condescending twat. Lara already hates Hannah. This is going to be GREAT! It’s sort of a language barrier. As for the boat, it is HUGE but the crew quarters are TINY. They are already starting to pair off and my facial recognition skills are so poor I don’t know who is who yet. Also, I am very distracted worrying about Nanette. She’s very said that her parrot died. I want to get done so I can call her.
Relationships About To Be Shattered?
Both Hannah and Malia claim to be in relationships of about a year. This seems like story line too. Hannah thinks she might be getting married and having babies soon. I hope that for her as well. Hannah already hates Lara. And the season has not yet begun. Robert is I think the one with the Dad jokes. And the one into Lara. I kind of love his dad jokes but never date a guy named Robert. I learned that lesson at least five times before it stuck.
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The guests arrive and I am struck by the fact they are all wearing shoes. Then I notice there is wall to wall carpeting on this boat. Who wants carpeting on a boat? The boat is massive with giant TV screens. Who wants a giant TV screens on a boat? This boat is … odd. Also the wing station, where the caption docks and departs with the boat is INSIDE the boat. WTF?
Sooooooooooo Scripted. Adios, Kiko?
When have you ever seen Captan Mark, Or Captain Lee or Captain Glen come interrogate the guests about their first meal? But here comes Captain Sandy… UGH. I hate this script already. Why can’t we have more genuine scenes than this? Is it because she insists on being in as many scenes as possible? Then she goes to taste the shrimp. I hate Captain Sandy. I hate this story line. Just bring in the new chef already. She wants to cook the dishes and set the table and drive the boat and do the cabin flourishes. UGH. Sandy continues to stalk the dinner guests. It’s ridiculous.
And it looks like a dramatic season. But I’m not sold on it yet. What did you think?
Sandy…oohhh, I mean Captain Sandy (I am your Captain, not your friend) was practically begging the guests to complain. Perhaps, she needs to be reminded that she is Captain Sandy not maitre d Sandy. I, too was annoyed with her.
I am toattly stealing Maitre Sandy.,,
Go for it!!!! Ijen am surprised she didn’t offer something on the house and/or take something off their bill. Lol
😂😂
Oh TT, I did not think I would ever be able to watch any kind of Below Deck after the last season of regular Below Deck with the misogynistic bruh crew, but after your post saying you liked Capt Glenn I gave BD Sailing a shot and I did like Capt Glenn, but I cannot stand Sandy. I do like Hannah. I don’t think she has the same work ethic as Kate, and yea I like Kate (I know a lot of people don’t). I would like to see how the season plays out with Hannah and Malia as well as the hot chef, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to watch Sandy and her micro managing ad nauseam. She’s such a bitch! Great recap!
Do you think we have an all female boss crew Becuz of the nightmare of last season of Reg BD?
I hadn’t thought about it, but that’s a good point. I’m not sure when Below Deck Med was filmed.
That is exactly what I was thinking. But Captain Sandy is hardly a champion for women. She has always treated the male staff better than the females. I can’t stand her.
It’s a thought, but I believe this was already filmed. The real Below Deck was last to film and ALMOST finished their season before production shut down everywhere.
I was wondering the same thing!!
I couldn’t tolerate the sailing crew. And looked forward to BDMed. Sandy & Hannah aside (it’s love/hate/love for me with them both). Lara is a delusional snot; I’d push her overboard the first time she disrespected me. Selfie chick seems nice, easy going. but the selfie thing annoys me. LOVE a NonPenis Bosun! And she seems to have the balls to pull it off. The deck hands are typical frat boy wanna bees with what seems to be the collective IQ of a hemorrhoid. I look forward to her Ruling with an iron hand
Kiko. *sigh.
You can fk up my little shrimp any day, sunshine
Good to see you ! Hope all are well
Captain Sandy came in HOT!
Perhaps SHE needs to get laid.
This looks like a not-fun crew and a not-fun charter.
I may skip the show and just read your recaps.
Life is stressful enough right now!
I think after last season with Mila and then Hannah issues, Captain Sandy was trying to set the tone from the beginning! Can’t say as I blame her!!!
Sandy is such a crap boss. She has always folded like a cheap lawn chair when her employees push back. Just because she can drive a boat doesn’t mean she can manage staff and she can’t. Hannah is another lazy, emotional twat. Another one who needs a people skills course. Where do they find these crews? They need to leave their egos at the door and just do their damn jobs but then that would not make for good television. No way would I spend those kind of bucks for a yacht that is being filmed for a show. You would obviously not be their first priority so those guests deserve what they get.
I’m over Lara already. Anyone who can’t be polite to her boss for even one full day is totally annoying. Hannah is right that she should acknowledge when Hannah says something to her.
I hate that Bravo casts these shows for maximum fighting. I’d much rather enjoy the beautiful scenery, see the food, and see the running of the yacht *without* having to watch people fight and argue. All the fighting takes away from the enjoyment of the rest of it. Bravo, please cast pleasant, competent people that I would want to hang out with!
Pete seems totally annoying too, way too full of himself.
I want to watch that show too but the producers are laughing at your suggestions. Lol.
I think I’ll be sticking to recaps. Thanks TT for taking one for the team on this one. Finally catching up on shows and my DVR is set to record Dirty John so it recorded what was supposed to be a preview but ended up being an episode of cash cab with Captain Sandy. I’ve never watched the Bravo version of cash cab so I watched it and remembered how much I cannot stand Sandy. She even was bad on cash cab and cost the players money bc she didn’t know one single answer. So she pretty much sucks at everything. Yay for Malia being a female Bosun though!
Hanna has announced this is her last seasom
Yeah, Hannah has announced she quit and Page Six is saying that she got fired and it will all play out on the show. I contacted SOURCE to see what they know. If I hear anything, I’ll let y’all know.
I am so hoping it plays out on the show and that Hannah was indeed fired! I have never liked her as a chief stew. She seems to me to always be phoning it in.
I actually like Hannah. Supposedly she hooks up with a rich Charter guest. AGAIN. I say good for her. She really didn’t even want to do this season. She’s ready to settle down. Maybe he’s the one!
It just occurred to me…how many times have we seen Capt Lee get invited to dinner by the charter guests, and how many times has Sandy been invited to dinner?
Capt Lee is able to monitor the Chef because he eats so many meals with the guests. Sandy is just micromanaging and trying to assert her authority rather than simply WIELDING her authority.
Also? I liked seeing Kate and Capt Lee together, season after season, because it was clear that Lee respected and valued Kate as a Chief Stew. Sandy has made her disdain for Hannah abundantly clear over the last few seasons so having Hannah show up yet again just smacks of inauthenticity to me. Which only increases my feeling that the whole season is just stacked with “storylines” and isn’t really “reality tv” anymore. Or maybe I’m just more gullible than most.
As always, I’m 100% in on the Below Deck franchise, but I prefer Captain Lee’s style over Captain Sandy’s. I’m interested in seeing how Malia fares.
Poor Kiko. He’s adorable but clearly here for the drama. I wonder who the rescue chef will be.
Sure hoping it is not going to be Ben riding in on a white horse again.
Oh God. I didn’t even think of that. Of course it is…
What’s up with Capt sandy trying to get the guest to hate the food. And already has it out for Hanna. And that Laura person needs to be fired from her actions s against Hanna. Don’t think I will be watching this season
Park Police explained today that they used smoke canisters that contain no irritants, not tear gas, because some protesters were not being peaceful and were attacking them.
That is all a lie. Did you know they even gassed employees of the church and ran them off from their own church so that trump could get his photo op? This is why we have a free press and this is why the police are illegally targeting members of the press.
There were two groups of protests in DC and they were NOT all peaceful. Additionally, there are multiple law enforcement agencies that “police” DC. Park Police is only one, and the Metropolitan Police Department also says they did not use gas. It is possible that another agency did, but the reports are not complete or clear yet. What is clear is that not all of the protesters where peaceful, and all of the SUCKS. Period.
“were” peaceful
and
all of THIS sucks
Sorry for the typos
You are wrong. I watched the entire thing. On the PREVIOUS NIGHT there were rioters, but this protest was entirely peaceful. Not one thing thrown, nothing spray painted or broken, no confronting the police. Nothing. It was literally the conversation on all the news channels about how perfectly peaceful they were before they were tear gassed and shot at. Please stop posting lies on my site. Thanks.
I’d gladly leave.
Thanks!
It was definitely tear gas the police put on their gas masks, and so did the reporters. ALL protesters were being peaceful. The reporter kept mentioning that before they all got gassed and shot at with rubber bullets and intimidated by horses.
I cant believe Lara is already rude to Hannah. Usually it takes a few episodes for a stew to hate Hannah. I think I like Robert, the one with the stupid jokes, like the auburn hair.
Sandy is just super annoying, and it does seem fake how nitpicky she is, so far she is the royal food taster.
I am so sorry about your parrot, Nanette!
Thank you. It still doesn’t seem real. It was a nightmare. It is so quiet and somber without his pretty voice and drumming. My dog is mourning too. She tried to help.
I am in the minority here but I really like Lara. Mainly because I really don’t like lazy ass, bitchy Hannah. I think Lara is going to be a match for her. She isn’t going to put up with any shit or run off crying. Hannah is the one flustered and Lara is just calm and cool. I think at first Lara was just trying to clarify the beer question. (and Hannah did say did you see the beer ? ) Hannah was a prick to her about it when she didn’t have to be. Then decided to demote her to doing the rooms. She certainly doesn’t want someone who was a chief stew watching how shitty she is at the job.
I recall LIKING Hannah last season (after previously hating her) so I am still Team Hannah this season because the alternative is being Team Sandy and that is never going to happen. Sandy is awful.
Sandy is an awful manager. She thinks she is trying to stay on top of things but is actually encouraging the guests to complain. She talks a good game but doesn’t act on it. Hannah is crappy at her job. She is also vindictive and petty. So for now, I am team Lara.
I’ve always been team hannah and kate. The stews act like they dont have to respect their chiefs. So freaking irritating.
Lara seems like a bitch.
I didn’t like Malia before because of how she played the guys. When a male bosun… Joao? Did that he came off like a skank.
Hopefully she has matured.
Sandy has never liked hannah. She never supported her before. And she treated all the males much better. From the first season, She came off as being a fame whore. She always shows up on wwhl as a walk on guest or surprise.
Captain lee and Glenn have so much more class.
Omg!!!!! Iwas right. Watching below deck sailing reunion, and there is sandy weighing in.
Why why why!!!!
Okay, Sandy is a bit much. But, in her shoes, if I’d been given the steak-licker chef, I would be doing the same thing for the first charter. As she says, she doesn’t trust the CV (or production) any more.
As for the sauce-less charter guest, use your words! If you want more sauce, ask for it! People who don’t speak up make me nuts.
The American dude who says sweetheart all the time is going to push me, and Malia, over the edge. Waitresses at breakfast joints should have exclusive rights to that word, as it is the only time I enjoy being called sweetheart by a stranger. Over pancakes & coffee.
Nanette so sorry to hear about the loss of your parrot. I know you are an animal lover & I’m sure it hurts like hell. Thinking of you. Sending you condolences & prayers. xo Marc
Thank you Marc. The dogs are older. Guinea pigs and chickens don’t live that long. ChooChoo was young and healthy and Indian ringnecks have a long lifespan. We thought he would be the last one standing. I am in a daze. If my dog weren’t still here …
I am so sorry about ChooChoo, Nanette.
So sorry for your loss too Nanette!
I’ve never watched this show before, (I’m fairly new to all the Below Decks) but watched last seasons finale and this new episode. The show seems more like the Captain Lee version and I totally loved the boat and location. So far I liked Captain Sandy, but I can see by the recap and comments that the past won’t bear out my initial impression? Lol I actually thought it was cute when she checked on the food and she had the Chefs back when she tasted it herself.
So far I liked everyone but Lara and Peter.
Thanks. Kindness is always healing.
If you like reality fare, it’s worth it to go back and watch all of the Below Decks in order. Season3 Episode 16 has one of my favorite scenes ever. About 46:20 on my recording. Colin impersonates The Dragon, aka Hannah, going after bosun Conrad’s wiener, and he and Adam laugh uncontrollably. So do I. Every time.
I am not feeling The Unit. The Tool would be a more fitting name.
I do not like Hannah. But why does Lara think she might be promoted to first stew over Hannah? Is she blowing Sandy? She doesn’t like to do rooms, she doesn’t like to do table settings, what does she think she SHOULD be doing? Was Jenna her model? Just serve and try to get laid? It’s not a language barrier. Cuntliness is international. She doesn’t get how the radio communication works. You need to acknowledge communication (Yachtie version of roger, over, etc.), that is not Hannah being a bitch. She keeps going there instead of using her radio. Capt. Lee would have her “shipshaped” or shipped out.
I wish The Tool would grab his Tiny Unit and Lazy Lara and abandon ship. Or walk the plank together.
Very sorry about your beautiful bird.
💙💜💙
“Cuntliness is international.” Nanette, I’m stealing that. Hannah is straining her blouse, but wait until the rich person comes on board.
The Unit, that is the same douche canoe bullshit. I’m not southern, so the first sweetheart would be met with “you’re cleaning up the puke.”
The first stew is usually the one with the most experience. Or has every other time. Lara has 6 yrs and was a chief stew. The other one (forget her name ) is inexperienced. Like the drink she couldn’t make ? Only makes sense for her to be first stew.
I see I’m not the only one who cringes as soon as Sandy speaks. She is so unprofessional. After watching Captain Glenn be such a great boss on the sailing show. Doesn’t take sides, just wants the job done. Sandy reminds me of my first supervisor after grad school who was a woman. Zero managerial skills, everything was personal.
Sandy coming around like an Applebee’s manager with the guests…… ugh
I love this comment! 😃
Did you like the food? Any Problems? I’d love to abuse the manager. She needs the karen hair cut.
I thought I might not be able to stomach this show right now, but I confess, it’s just what I needed.
Stupid hot dudes and stupid bitchy hot chicks…stuck together on a gross (environmentally disastrous) boat.
Lets add rich privilege, forced alcohol abuse (sorry), cultural differences, and a vapid (producer driven/ insincere) leader..
We’ve got a show!
This is the worst boat I have ever seen. I wouldn’t pay to charter this boat if I had unlimited resources. I just hate everything about it.
i wonder if you get hired only if you have never watched the show before. Would explain a lot. We all know that Sandy likes fancy table settings and white gloves. And that the Chief Stew rules. It was disrespectful of Sandy to tell Kiko not to use frozen food. Guess she’s still feeling the burn from last year’s chef fiasco. I wasn’t happy to see Malia the flirt return but so far she has been nothing but professional.