This seems to have been terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for pretty much everyone. Mine sucked before I was even woken up by Lawn Kid pounding on my door. Does anyone what to buy a teenager? However, I am very much looking forward to this 90 Day Fiance Recap. And I am hoping that the mini tomato pie I have in the oven comes out tasty. I think I have made one before but my sister makes the best ones. We shall see. But as I prepare for this, the world is rioting and continuing to come unglued. I woke up mad as hell at Lawn Kid and pretty much everything else today has fueled the anger. I need to make fun of Baby Love Lisa for a few hours.
As I prepare for this episode, CNN is showing rioting in Santa Monica. I hope you are all safe. There are these cornucopia shaped porches and people are just sitting there watching from the balcony. It’s a blood sport now. Sigh. Stay safe and stay home people.
Varya and Geoffrey
It’s time to wind this season up so we can get to the tell All. Ten hours of the the Tell All unedited “leaked” onto the Internet a couple of weeks ago and I think it’s going to be a good one. According to Starcasm, Mary has also been arrested for attacking her boyfriend from several years ago. So that explains why she doesn’t care that Geoffrey has been accused of being abusive to all eleventy-four of his former wives. Anyway, here we are with Mary showing up at the pool hall where Geoffrey took Varya to meet all of his friends. They are also Mary’s friends.
Varya is pissed. Especially when Geoffrey hugs her and takes her aside to talk to her. Geoffrey is trying to play both sides. Mary cries. Then Varya pulls Mary aside to talk. This should go well. Seeing these two fight over this piece of shit is sad. What is wrong with these women? Varya tells Geoffrey she is not going to put up with this situation and she leaves. Where is she going to go? These two wake up in bed together the next morning. Geoffrey admits to sleeping with Mary the day before he slept with Varya. Varya says she doesn’t want Geoffrey seeing Mary while she is there. Geoffrey wants to have his cake and eat it too. Now Varya wants to marry Geoffrey. So now Geoffrey wants to play hard to get.
Varya and Geoffrey spend some time with his sons. (The ones who are still alive). Varya and the boys get along fine. Geoffrey takes Varya on a romantic riverboat cruise later that night. Geoffrey professes his undying love for Varya, again. Varya wants another proposal. Geoffrey is the kind of guy who only wants what he can’t have. The night before she leaves, he proposes. She says yes. I don’t understand why Varya can’t come to the US for a visit while the K1 Is in progress. He can either go to her or they could meet in Europe somewhere. Also her engagement ring is on the wrong hand.
Lisa and Usman
In case you have forgotten, Usman’s entire family has driven for hours because Usman is supposed to marry Baby Love Lisa the next day. But, Baby Love Lisa had another childish meltdown in front of her entire family at dinner. So she is in her room pouting. Usman goes after her. I want Usman’s grey ensemble. I like it a lot. And poor beleaguered Usman, desperate to get to America agrees to marry her the next day. He tolerates the requisite makeout session like a champ.
It’s their wedding day! And the family and witnesses could not look more miserable. Mommy looks suicidal. She skips the reception and so does one of his brothers. Then Usman sings to Baby Love Lisa. Someone needs to tell Usman he can’t sing. Baby Love Lisa heads back to the US. Usman must be so happy for the time away. Baby Love Lisa is not handling the separation well already.
Lana and David
David has been in Ukraine for eight days but has only seen Lana for two of them, as star-crossed lovers do. She still only talks to him on the website. How much is that costing? It appears to be time for the breakup dinner. She looks horrified to be there. They must be paying her a lot for this role. David says he would like to leave the website and start talking to her directly. She agrees. He tells her he is in love with her. Oh I thought he was going to propose right there. But he has purchased a very expensive phone for her so they can communicate. It translates automatically and has video chat. She has an odd reaction. But she pretends she is down with it.
The private investigator that David fired for “lying” about Lana being on tons of websites under many different names, sent David links to the proof. Of course David still doesn’t believe it. David is getting ready to leave and Lana is too busy baby sitting to meet up with him. David tries to call Lana on his last day there, she doesn’t take his call. As tends to happen with couples who are deeply in love. Lana actually gets paid enough to see David off at the airport at the butt crack of dawn. They kiss goodbye and then David turns around and comes back. He proposes she says Da to the ring. David is so happy. He’s got a long way to fall. 🙁
Rose and Ed
I almost feel sorry for Big Ed. But he did this to himself. In other women who Ed has pissed off news, his daughter Tiffany is not speaking to him. But she has agreed to meet with him to talk things out. Of Course Ed has a neon yellow car. Of course he does. Wait! Is his license tag BIG EDD? Did I see that right? I don’t get why a kid thinks they can tell a parent how to live their life. Why is he apologizing to his kid for his relationship choices? She’s a grown woman. They hug it out.
Stephanie and Erika
Snot-nosed Stephanie is back home. She sure doesn’t seem to be living the high life she tries so hard to project. She lives in Yonkers? NTTAWWT, it’s just she went to a lot of trouble to flash designer clothes in Australia when it was not appropriate. And she seems very snobby. So as it turns out she is just spoiled by her parents who probably eat soup and saltines most nights to pay for her swag. Sigh. I do not care about her coming out to her mom. Because I do not care about her. #TeamErika
Why are we still talking about Darcey? Or Yolanda? WHY? Darcey looks like she has gained ten pounds in her face.
Next week on the Tell All, we find out Rose has a long time GIRLFRIEND. David tries to defend the fact that Lana is still scamming men on websites. Avery and Ash are at each others throats. Tom refuses to be interviewed as long as Avery is on screen?! Stephanie brings her best friend to double team the insults to Erika. Usman wants to get another wife.