I have a two hour episode of Australian Married At First Sight on my DVR! I am not sure if I am going to recap it or not. But I thought I would at least take a few notes while I watch it. It’s Friday. Oh wait. Here comes Lawn Kid and his stupid girlfriend. They just parted ways so he could continue to pretend they are not together. I have eyes! LOL. So he is weeding the garden and cutting the front lawn. I hope he doesn’t tear up my plants!
Okay, I like this already. They received over 15,000 applications. If this is true then we won’t have to deal with people who were recruited for Instagram and agreed to do it for the money and exposure and had no interest in getting married. Oh, and they have older people! We start straight away with hen’s night for the ladies and a bachelor party for the guys. Right away we learn we are going to have a lesbian wedding! This is great! The women are worried that someone might bang each others husbands?!
Good GOD! There are TWELVE COUPLES? I Can’t!
Poppy & Luke
Poppy, is a 38 year old mother of two-year-old twin boys from Wollongong, NSW, has endured her fair share of heart-crushing disappointment when it comes to love. Her husband left her when the twins were six weeks old! Self-deprecating, outspoken and funny, she often uses comedy to hide her pain. Since her number one priority is her sons, Poppy decided to do the experiment to find a soulmate and a good and dependable man to be a role model for her sons.
Luke seems like he is too much further along in life than Poppy even though he is also 38 years old. I really like him, but I am not sure this is a good match. Luke, is a hard-working single dad of two teenage daughters from Melbourne, has his work cut out for him when it comes to finding time for dating. Previously married for 10 years, he is focused on providing a solid life for his daughters as he continues to put his family first and prioritizes homelife above everything else. Luke is finally ready to put his heart on the line for someone else.
These two were the first to get married. Poppy was so nervous I thought we were going to have a runner. Meanwhile, Luke is also a hot mess. It’s go time! The setting is really for the wedding. It’s in the forest. When Luke came out, all of her skeptical friends said, “Oh I really like him!” I feel the same. Oh! They really like each other already! Big smiles on both sides. This is so cute! I love Luke! This is going so well. Until it isn’t. Poppy suddenly is overcome with guilt about leaving the twins to come do this. Is she going to be away from them for the whole six or eight weeks? She starting to freak out! But they are married.
Poppy hasn’t shown up for the photo shoot. She is feeling guilty about leaving the twins at home is and already thinking about quitting the show. NOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE! She’s having some sort of breakdown in the forest. This is much better in the long run for your kids. Have you met this guy? Everyone loves him! Even me! She does show up for photos. Luke knows something is wrong but doesn’t know what to do. I wish he would stop the photo shoot and pull her aside and talk to her. Poppy has another breakdown at the reception. GO AFTER HER LUKE! Eventually, they get back on track. Bummer. I want to marry Luke. They go to bed fully dressed.
Cathy & Josh
Cathy, is a 26 year old logistics investigator from New Zealand who is living in Sydney away from her family. WTF is a logistics investigator. Anyone? Anyone? Despite her glamorous appearance, she is down-to-earth and friendly and is looking for an honest and loyal partner she can finally let her guard down with. Wow her Tinder date story was horrific! Who would meet her and say she wasn’t what he expected and start looking for the next Tinder date right there at the dinner table??? She is STUNNING! How is she so insecure???
So Josh has a “one that got away” that is problematic. But he is hot. Josh, is a 28 year old industrial operator from Sydney, always loved being the life of the party. Now, he regrets losing the one who got away while he wasted time partying instead of dating. Ready to settle down, Josh is vowing to never let love escape him so he can find his forever relationship. I like this couple! The next morning these two are totally getting along.
Cathy’s bridal bouquet is stunning. Aw, she had a dream that her groom would be named Josh. He is literally the man of her dreams. And he is funny. So far so good. These two make it to the reception and they are really hitting it off. How the hell is Cathy so self conscious? She is not just pretty she is drop dead gorgeous? Who did this to her? Some jackhole on Twitter? Girl, go get your man! YAY! They kiss!
So we got through two weddings. But there are TEN MORE to go! Does this season last for two years or something? Is anyone watching with me?
As I was searching for photos for this show, I ran across a few spoilers since this entire season has already run in Australia. I tried to search with my eyes closed but that didn’t work.
Also there were a lot of headlines about how much the American viewers hated the Aussie version. Even the former American couples are going out of their way to call the show “completely scripted.” It seems that may be the case as even I wondered why the women would tell each other not to sleep with their husbands at their group hen party. And did I mention there are TWELVE COUPLES? TWELVE!!!! At the current rate it is going to take five more episodes to get everyone married!