I am excited for tonight’s Top Chef recap! We are going to Italy! Last Chance Kitchen ends with the winner returning and the top five flying off to Italy! Let’s get right to it! I love a good trip to Italy! Banjo is mad because I am not sharing my salad with him. He doesn’t even like salad! He does like tomatoes though but he doesn’t get any of the first one. Sorry. He can have the heel pieces.
I am still a bit freaked out by the 10:30 pm of Lawn kid’s work boots where they basically threw them on my stoop and peeled off in an unmarked white van! WTF? Anyway, deep breaths. I want to watch this show.
So tonight Kevin comes back in to the kitchen and one chef goes home and the other five go to Italy! You go, homeboy! Jonathan Waxman is in some sort of new set with Padma for this final US challenge. They are sitting in first class airplane seats. The quickfire is to make a two course first class meal for an airline. It should have either an appetizer or a salad with a main course. The heated dishes have a height requirement for reheating in the oven and you can only use ingredients that are available year round. I remember my flight to Romania many moons ago (feels like yesterday) and even in coach I got red wine and food like every two hours.
Bryan is determined to win quickfire. He hasn’t won one yet. But I feel like this is Kevin’s challenge to win because his father was an airline executive and he’s flown first a lot. I fly first domestically but I don’t usually have the miles to fly first internationally. I haven’t been anywhere in years thought and I now have almost 300K in Delta miles so it’s not if, it’s when. Also there was a glitch in the hosting site software that told everyone we needed to update our payment method and I freaked out immediately and put it on my Amex and then they sent out an apology letter saying we were all fine. But I left if on my Amex. Because, this shit is expensive to host. And, miles!
Oh Melissa, tofu? Really? I’d be pissed if I got any of these dishes. Stephanie’s fish sounds lovely but who want’s the plane to smell like fish?I’m down with Kevin’s meatballs. Why is Malarkey cutting down his pork instead of making a hole for it on the plate? Gregory’s looks good but mushrooms are one of the few things I am not fond of. Kevin’s looks good but his meatballs are too tall. Bryan’s lentils were under-cooked and his salad was like a piece of romaine with a slice of tomato. Malarky’s dish had problems because it could not be cut with plastic cutlery. Kevin and Melissa were top two. But, Melissa’s tofu won? Kevin was fucking robbed.
The Elimination Challenge
The chefs are going to Michael’s in Santa Monica for inspiration on Italian dishes. He’s been a chef since the 1970s. He’s basically the guy who invented California cuisine, which is based on local ingredients. I have to say out of all the dishes in all of the restaurants with all the snotty California chefs. These are the most mouthwatering dishes I have ever seen. And at the same time I am suddenly missing Magic Pan. Does anyone remember that? It was a mall restaurant that made crepes. And I loved the … I think it was called seafood newburg? I used to skip school in high school with my girlfriend from another school who was rich an had her mother’s credit card and we would go to Magic Pan. Or sometimes we would go to the piano bar at Lenox and drink wine. I digress.
They have to draw knives for dish selections. Gregory has to go second to last and he is unhappy with his options. Malarkey got the last dish. Malarkey has twins and it is their birthday. It’s a cute little package. I feel like either Malarkey or Steph will be eliminated. Stephanie’s dish is Jonathan Waxman’s. That’s ballsy considering he is a judge. I can’t wait until tomorrow so I can replicate my watermelon, feta and crispy jamon salad I had today. I asked my shopper for a small, “personal” watermelon and it was much smaller than usual. And it’s a few weeks too early for a good watermelon and it was DEEE LICIOUS! Bryan’s dish already looks like the winner.
We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 1982!
Brian Borneman, Roy Yamaguchi, Jonathan Waxman, Sang Yoon, Mark Peel and Brooke Williamson are all the chefs the dishes are inspirations for… and they are all there to judge the dishes! They are all cooking in and old school seventies style kitchen with no elbow room. This is really high pressure.
FUCK! Gregory forgot to plate his crispy prosciutto! I thought I was the only one who crisped up prosciutto and jamon. I like my pork crispy! This could be a fatal mistake for Gregory! He and Stephanie went out together. Stephanie had Jonathan Waxman’s dish and he loved it. They all loved it. She is in. Fuck, Gregory, you in danger girl.
Next up, is Bryan’s dish inspired by Roy Yamaguchi and Kevin’s dish was inspired by Mark Peel. They really liked part’s of Bryan’s dish. But, Bryan is in trouble. They LOVED Kevin’s dish. Homeboy could win this.
And finally, Melissa and Malarkey. Somehow one of Malarkey’s dishes that he plated did not make it to the table. DRAMA! The waitstaff fucked up and took one of his dishes to another table. Wow. The judges agree to share. It’s not his fault. Also, he made a duo and the judges are trying to eat it as one dish. Poor guy, I feel sorry for him. He’s pissed. The wait staff fucked him. Don’t worry baby, there were worse dishes. My dish today would have suffered mightily without my crispy jamon. It would have been good anyway but not great. I’m worried about Gregory but I think we might lose Bryan V is in trouble. They loved Melissa’s quail. They are not fond of Malarkey’s dish.
The Judges Table
And the winner is… announced by Waxman. Jonathan says, “It was a really beautiful meal. And I don’t say that often.” You know other than every other time he is on this show. Melissa won! She might take this whole thing. Then Jonathan tells Stephanie that she was right there with Melissa. Hmm… this time. She is in too. Bryan and Kevin are both also in. FUCK! Gregory is in the bottom with Malarkey! I guess Malarkey is going home. I will miss him.
Wait! Either Malarkey knows he is toast, or he is quitting? Gregory begs them to let them judge. He doesn’t want to move Forward? It’s late and I don’t see her name in my tags. The female not Padma chef says that the fact his dishes went to the wrong table had nothing to do with how they judged him today. This is a disaster. If Gregory goes home I will be PISSED. I do sort of feel like Malarkey was right. It was a duo not all to be eaten at once. Ultimately, they send him home though. But I am happy that Gregory stayed and very sad to see Malarkey go. Gregory can still win for sure. And I miss Eric.
Next week we are off to Tuscany where the chefs go hunting for white truffles. And cook pasta for Italians.