It feels like it has been ten million years since I have done a RHONY recap. I thought maybe Nanette did the last one, but nope it was me! Today was a good day except for when I accidentally caught the news. I discovered Gordon Ramsey’s Uncharted show on Nat Geo and watched five of the six episodes and then it was prime time and I could not watch the last one because I can’t watch On Demand if I am taping two shows because Spectrum Sucks! So now I am watching MAFS Couples Cam on DVR and so far it is kind of cute. It’s a Quarantine show. I’v also eaten well today. I had a lovely watermelon and feta salad with crispy jamon. And now I am eating a salad with one of my first home grown tomatoes. I had blue cheese on the salad and Duke’s on the maters. Yum. Okay, moving on…
Leah Has Some Comments On IG Before The Show
Leah has a lot to say in advance about this episode. “Hurricane season is here and tonight it’s “Hurricane Leah”. I want to preface this episode by saying I went on this trip to Rhode Island not really wanting to even go. I didn’t know the women that well at this point, and I was in an already-vulnerable mood. So, I wanted my sister there for support. She was also six months postpartum and looking forward to her first baby-free overnight trip. Moms: haven’t we all been there?”
“But enough about me. Tune in tonight for Ramona. Watch her get embarrassed by MY “bad” behavior. Yes, you heard it right: the woman who defecates on hotel room floors (and expects others to clean it up), who calls her own friends fat, and who tries to flex on IG during a pandemic is supposedly embarrassed that I got shitfaced. Please!#illsavetherestforthereunion” Dorinda agreed with Leah. And Elyse said, ” Love you and love your sister! Glad we got to meet her! I made some mistakes on that trip, and you know I felt terrible about it. Ramona told me to have her back, so I did… Big Mistake!!!” This sounds like it will be good!
A Three Hour Tour…
Okay, here we go! The ladies are going on a three hour drive to Newport, RI. Leah tells Ramona she looks like she is 25 years old. She’s very sweet to Ramona. Dorinda is riding up separately because it is some sort of anniversary of her dead husbands. Oh great. She’s going to be an even bigger PITA than usual. She probably had to pick up some coke to snort on the way. Allegedly. I’m just guessing. But something in her buttermilk ain’t clean. She arrives first and checks in to the Inn. She mentions that she and Richard used to stay there. Oh, this is going to be bad. Meanwhile all the girls are bonding on the ride except Ramona who is on her phone the whole time.
Leah brings up that she wants to invite her sister to stay in her room with her. Somehow, Ramona thinks this is up to her. No one believes that the housewives plan the trips anymore. And it’s an Inn not a house rental so the sister can come if she damn well pleases Ramona. Once they all get to the Inn, Leah convinces Ramona to allow her sister to come. At least for one dinner. Then she immediately changes her mind. Sonja agrees with Ramona. These two bitches want everyone else to just sit there like a lump on an log and say nothing. You know, like Elyse. Has she said 25 words all season? Dorinda tells Leah to just sneak her in her room. Eventually the sister is allowed to come.
The First Dinner Brawl—Can I Give You A Hug?
By dinner time Ramona has decided Leah’s sister cannot come and convinced Sonja to flip to her side. Also, Sonja is wearing her Morgan Crest flats which will likely send Dorinda over the edge. Dorinda napped in the afternoon and Leah drank. This is also not good. Luann is pretending that she is not drinking again. Or still. I forget. Luann is joining forces with Ramona and Sonja against Leah. Leah asks for two more shots of tequila in her drink. This isn’t even the final brawl of the episode! Dorinda is team Leah. Ramona calls Leah a recovering alcohol. Since when is Ramona the responsible drinker? Elyse might be dead. It’s hard to tell. The bartender looks mortified. Dorinda randomly gives Ramona (who is pouting) a peck on the lips. Twice!
Leah and Sonja are drunkenly frolicking together and having fun. Ramona is seething because Sonja previous agreed to be on her side. Leah keeps referring to Ramona as “mom” and that also pisses her off. Ramona grabs Sonja and tells her to come with her so she can disinvite Leah’s sister. This should go well. Tinsley tries to make up with Dorinda who is amazingly calm at this event. She is very sweet to her and tells her she knows she is having a hard time and she understands and she is sorry. She wants to give her a hug. I do NOT appreciate the spectacle. Dorinda wants a reset with Tinsley. But Tinsley just wants a hug. Dorinda just wants to have a drink and watch Leah act a fool. All of this and dinner is just now being served.
Leah may be the most insane drunk ever to be on RHONY. And that is saying A LOT. Elyse says about fifteen words to stick up for Ramona! Is that a record? I miss Barbara. Is Countess Lu really trying to say she has never acted like Leah? We get a montage of her crazy drunkeness. Still Leah is worse. Leah needs rehab. Ramona tells Leah that her sister can come. She is suddenly super nice.
There May Or May Not Always Be A Morning After
Dorinda is always the first one up. She calls Leah to check on her. She doesn’t remember anything from the night before. Dorinda is a good friend to Leah. Why can’t she treat Tinsley like this? Elyse is very judgey of Leah. She might be up to fifty words. What is this episode nine? Oh in the van with just Ramona and Sonja, Elyse does a pretty spot on Dorinda impression. So maybe she is at 100 words. Elyse is suddenly very judgmental. Dorinda points this out as well. Clearly, she’s not a fan of Elyse. I can’t remember the last time I had a bloody Mary. Those look strong, they should be redder and in a proper glass. With a lime.
There were a lot of locals there for this scene and I remember them reporting on how horrible everyone’s behavior was. I can’t even with all of this screaming and blaming. You really should click that link. There is a lot of tea there on Elyse in particular and this trip specifically.
Next week is MOTS with Leah’s sister arriving. And throwing ravioli?