Varya & Geoffrey (& Mary)
Geoffrey seems to love that Varya and Mary are fighting over him. Why anyone would come within ten country miles of this man is beyond all comprehension. Hopefully this will all blow up in his face. He doesn’t deserve either of them. Mary storms off. Varya cries. He is such an idiot. Varya did not tell him him no when he proposed. She said it was too soon.
These two go out with some of David’s friends later that night. It’s awkward. His friends speak very highly of Mary. They let her know that David and Mary have always been very close. Then Mary shows up. Oh shit.
Lana & David
This just blows my mind! They must have had to pay Lana a ton of money for this. Lana doesn’t want to answer any questions about how much money David has sent her. She also doesn’t seem to want to touch him. This is so awkward. She’s pissed when he tells her he hired a private investigator to find her. She says it’s time for her to go home. They have only been together for two hours. At least he got to see her.
Lana and David go bowling. She’s also told him she can’t see him much at all because she is busy
scamming other guys for money. It seems like a lucrative past time. She does have time for a photo shoot with David though. David gets Lana to agree that if he makes a strike, he gets a kiss. David used to be a professional bowler. But he’s not good at all anymore. Eventually he gets a strike and a little peck. Later it is time for more photos and a romantic dinner. David tries to get her to come to his hotel with her. That’s a hard no. Is she really considering accepting his proposal? Or is this the end?
Erika & Stephanie
After treating Erika like utter crap, Stephanie can’t figure out why Erika didn’t go with her to the airport. Could she be any more self-absorbed? She dumped her and expects her to come to the airport? Why isn’t she wearing a mask at the airport? Oh she doesn’t have any. Why not? It’s kind of important for her. Surely she has an Hermes scarf in one of those giant suitcases. Anything is better than nothing.
Stephanie’s mom meets her at the airport with her two dogs. She knows that Stephanie is not telling her everything about the trip to Australia. Next week it looks like she finally comes out. Will we ever see anymore filming with Erika? I love her!
Lisa & Usman
I googled to learn about Zuma rock the giant rock we see on the show. It’s pretty cool. It’s the day before their wedding and Lisa is being a bitch. Surprise! Usman is not even sure he wants to marry her at all at this point. He’s signing up for a few years of hell, all in hopes he can get a recording contract. But, bless his heart, he proposed. Lisa is everso happy. Yet, still a bitch.
It’s the night before the wedding and Usman’s family has arrived for a dinner with the dearly betrothed. His brother has traveled seven hours to be there. It’s his first time seeing Lisa. Usman is worried that if Lisa is herself, her mother will take back her blessing. For some reason, Lisa thinks it is a great idea to explain her issues with Usman to his brothers. She seems sure they will take her side. Wow. Usman tells her this is not the time or the place for these discussions. The brothers listen to her and for the billionth time try to explain that the man is the head of the household. She gets pisses and storms off screaming “I’m done.” How many times does she have to say that before someone holds her to it?
Avery & Ash
These two could not be more wrong for each other. They live at least a 24 hour plane ride apart. They both have young kids. He’s a misogynist pig. She has seen this in person. She needs to go home and find someone in her local area to date. Ash “knows” he is going to marry her. But he is not going to propose until he goes to visit her. Wait, she has a toddler? I totally forgot how young her kids were. What is she doing there now? Ash is a Mauritius citizen who is currently applying for an Australian passport. He muttered something about a visa but I don’t think Australians need a visa for the US. What they need is an ESTA which is basically an electronic visa waiver that can sometimes be done instantly and other times requires three days notice. This whole story is suspect.
Sidenote: I just tried to use the remote to rewind something I saw outside my window. The cheese is sliding off my sandwich. (Hot hipster dude seems to have a girlfriend in the hood.)
These two are both sad driving her to the airport. They worry about how long it will be until Ash can visit. I’m going to guess he never does. Remember the florist who said Ash was a regular customer? He is probably going straight from the air port to see his other girlfriend(s).
Rose & Ed
Poor Ed is back home after getting dumped by Rose. Give her a couple of weeks in her hovel, Ed. She could change her mind. His mom brings his dog to meet him at the airport. He cries when he tells him mom things didn’t work out. BTW, Have you seen this photo of Ed from the 80s? His mother is sweet and even shorter than he is!