I am thrilled to report that this is the last regular episode of Vanderpump Rules! This has been a weird season for Pump Rules Recaps. I can’t even remember what the main story lines were for this season. I can’t believe this season has been airing since the first week of January. I feel like we have been waiting for it to start. The gang up on Kristen this season has been awful to watch. Jason turning back into Jax was expected. But it seems as though Jax has a drug problem. The new young set didn’t do anything particularly interesting. I think this should probably be the last season of this nonsense. The original cast has aged out and their replacements are boring.
We are ten minutes in and it is all still a rehashing the last episode. Also, Sandoval and Ariana are doing cosmetic procedures as yet another in scene promotional. Ariana’s vagina doesn’t seem shy anymore. And we saw all of her butt while she was getting some sort of cupping or weird massage. And more of the Kristen bashing. Brittany blames Tom Sandoval for Jax’s behavior. How does that work exactly?
New Scheana Meets Old Scheana
James had a very emotional scene with his mother who just had to have a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. They are both sober at the same time and it seems to really help their relationship.
Stassi and Beau are already shopping for houses. I do not understand why two people need a three thousand square foot house with five bedrooms and four baths. It is insane to me that they want to take home some much debt. They don’t have much time left where they will be getting the Bravo checks. Do they have plans for what they will do when the checks stop?
The Toms are putting their profits from the first year of Tom Tom into the expansion of Tom Tom. The Hollywood Reporter does a huge photo shop at Tom Tom that represents all of LVP’s businesses. The Scheana replacement, Kara, comes in from Vegas for the shoot. Is this the first time Scheana has met her? Max seems terribly uncomfortable having them both there together.
Jax Is High And Sweaty, AGAIN
Jax and Ariana have an uncomfortable conversation about how Jax treats people in general and Ariana and Sandoval specifically. We get a whole montage of sweaty fast talking Jax trashing Ariana over the years. What exactly has she done to Jax to make him so butthurt?
Max and Brett sit down to try and talk things out. Max feels like Dayna got with Brett just to piss him off. He’s so clueless. Jax apparently doesn’t own a SUR shirt and came in an inappropriate shirt for the shoot. Jax talks to LVP about his intense anger issues. She warns him that his behavior will damage his marriage and he’s only been married for four weeks!
The Toms arrive to the party in matching suits. Kristen and Carter are back in an exclusive relationship so of course Stassi and Katie trash talk her for that. Stassi denies trash trash talking Ariana’s house. Even though she did it right on camera. Danica starts shit with the Scheana clone that causes a huge commotion in Tom Tom. And LVP and Ken are standing right there. This is not a good look. LVP sends Danica home.
James did a great job DJing the party. He also apologizes to Randall for all the horrible things he said about Randall in the past. Randall is very gracious and accepts the apology.
Dayna tries to close her story line with Max, but Max is just hugely in denial. So they argue. Brittany and Sandoval hug it out. Sandoval and Jax continue to argue. Jax says he is mentally handicapped. They eventually agree they need time apart. LVP then gets into it with Jax. Jax says this isn’t about his TV show, it about his lifelong friends. LVP was quick to correct Jax that this is her show. Stassi and Katie take one more opportunity to treat Kristen like shit. Then, the show ends rather abruptly. It’s a wrap!