Y’all. I was so excited that I thought I had my days and nights back on track. On Saturday I went to bed at a normal time and then woke up at like five a.m. on Sunday. Weird, but I was rolling with it. And then just before all the Sunday night madness, I decided to rest my eyes just for a minute. 🙂 The plan was to do a quick RHOA reunion recap because I hate these zoom screamfests. And then watch the American Idol finale, which is what Banjo likes to watch. I’ve never understood the whole 20 minute nap thing. Once I am asleep I am down for hours. Or at least in and out of sleep for hours. So anyway. I woke up and watched American Idol because I did not want to get spoiled, and now, I shall do my best to cover the screaming memes on RHOA.
Sigh. It is already bitches screaming over each other. How the fuck do you recap this shit? It’s hard enough trying to recap a normal reunion. It’s like being a court reporter transcribing everything rather than a recap. Plus it is raining here right now and Banjo is throwing up yellow bile and having to go out in the rain every five minutes. So I’ve propped the back screen door open and a possum will probably meander in momentarily. How the hell is life in isolation so damn DRAMATIC? Also, today was A DAY with the homeless lawn kid who showed up again asking for something to drink. HEAVY SIGH.
Should I Mention Nene Was Criminal Before This?
So sure let’s talk about overpaid I MEAN REALLY REALLY REALLY overpaid bitches arguing on TV for money. Oh God. I love Eva but bitch, your titties need some support. And Porsha, sending private texts between her and Kenya to Andy is JUST WRONG. Cynthia is really sticking up for Kenya and telling the truth. They all talk shit about each other. I can’t stop looking at all the bad boob jobs. I just can’t. It’s gross. Bond them up and cover them with some fabric and it would be fine. But I can barely pay attentio to the show because some old ass women want to show their tits. There. I said it,
Look. I don’t even know what they are saying at this point. Cynthia Bailey, who encouraged you to make that tragic dress choice? All I can think is Disco, disco duck. Where is my elegant Cynthia Bailey?
Babies Are Adorble!
OMG I LOVE ALL THE BABIES! This may sound crazy from someone who never really wanted kids. But I love me someone else’s baby! Dennis with a bow may be my favorite kid. EVER. She is so not impressed with any of this shit. I love that Noelle has a girlfriend with her in quarantine. Love is love and we all want to be loved. Eva’s nails are too much. As someone said here, how do you wipe your ass with those claws?
I don’t know much about fake hair and wigs. But my girl Kenya is definitely wearing a wig for this reunion. Because what I have found out is rich people don’t know how to do their own hair and makeup. Were they never in high school where we learned all of that? I remember my mother letting me go to school looking a total ass fool when I “Bo Dereked” my hair into braids. (I also skipped school that day to get laid in a very hot (temperature wise) car. Shhh don’t tell) I was kind a whore back in the day.
Kandi Wins All Day Erryday
I love Kandi THE PRESUMED WINNER OF THE MASKED SINGER just sitting there like “Do I really get paid enough for this?” #SilentQueen Oh dear GAWD Marlo’s tits. I feel like posting my old lady tits. That would be gross right? Oh and BTW I was sent Bruno from Below Deck’s package. He’s apparently doing porn now…. and I am not sure how I feel about knowing um, so much about him. Where his mama at?
Oh the pizza man is back. He used to email me with nonsense. I can’t even remember what it was about. But he emailed me, and probably several other sites about whatever it was. He wanted to be famous. I have way too many words in this post already. Gregg had sex with the housekeeper? I don’t blame him.
I hate Porsha’s lip color. HATE. I kinda love Tanya’s too red lips. I love Kandi. I totally didn’t cry over all the stuff with Eva and the adoption. So shut it. This deal with Porsha and Dennis is never going to work. I am worried about Eva. Nene is sort of out of this reunion. Nene is pissed that Kandi gets all the spin offs. Andy mutes them both, Hilarious. We need a mute button for every reunion. Kandi will always be more than Nene. This fight is hilarious. Kandi wins EVER FUCKING SINGLE TIME NENE with your fake ass stores.
Next week: More of the same.
This was my first Zoom reunion and I made the mistake of watching part 1 and 2 in a row. Now if I can ever go to sleep, I’m afraid I’ll dream of giant glistening sagging oddly positioned boobs. Just boobs. No human attached. Why did they do that?? Nene is just so jealous of Kandi. Kandi is such a queen. She is one of the few masked singer contestants I actually guessed from the get go. I’m proud! My third grader loves the show which in her mind means ignoring it until she makes us chant “take it off”. Perfect segue to your receiving extra nudity on top of the never ending boob parade. I hope all is well. I’m now unable to sleep since good ole governor Tater has declared everything essential, especially casinos because those are never filled with ppl and cigarette smoke and buffets. The overzealous class of 2020 parents convinced the school board that we have to have a colosseum graduation in a few weeks as well. No masks required. 330 students plus four guests per student plus school staff and colosseum staff plus cheering and yelling for hours seems totally safe. I’m losing my mind.
Ha! I kind of want to just drink myself to death and smoke my ass off in Vegas . Sorry but I am at the “what’s the point” point.
Just come to the Mississippi coast! The food’s good and there’s beaches. I too have lost the point
I’m gonna try to sleep and hopefully not dream of tons of glittered up boobs hanging all which ways.
Can we please go to Vegas so I can drink and play Poker.
Cockwombler Monday for me so “what’s the point” is so on point.
We ( GIB WE ) are missing a plane load of PPE it set off from the UK this morning, due to Cockwomblers making shit up as they have no fecking clue of what they are doing or even communicating between each other Gibraltar is now designated a NO FLY Zone and the tabloid newspapers are running with it.
The Great Wuhan Wank Cockwomblers have a lot to answer for.
The question is : Where’s my fucking plane!!
Social- Distancing not going so well, crisis meeting this morning over zoom, 2 hours of cockwomblers…they wanted a solution.
Irish logic came into play, I got a result and Karma for the covidiots.
Every bench in Gibraltar is getting removed.
I am a Gemini – Spain Malaga Full on Military Lock Down seriously getting intense.
Gibraltar : We trust the people to police themselves
Gemini Brain WTF!!
I may have to go back to Gibraltar…NOOOOOOO
I have no fucking clue what you are talking about. But I can’t wait til it is safe to stalk you in person so you can lecture me in some weirdass accent and make me eat weird shit, And also, didn’t you say you would go to Morocco with me? I’m going to make your life a living hell! 🙂
I just like the word cockwombler. not entirely sure what it means but I’m making up lots of good options in my mind
Cockwomble
(noun) A person, usually male, prone to making outrageously stupid statements and/or inappropriate behaviour while generally having a very high opinion of their own wisdom and importance.
synonyms: fuckwit, shit-for-brains
According to the Scottish Urban Dictionary it became a popular word after The Donald made an appearance at St. Andrews golf club
A cockwomble is a useless bumbling fuckwit.
It’s my most overused word!
It describes Thomas Ravenel very well.
I know you will if they don’t have Black Box Merlot in Morocco.
Have you discussed this with the Fiancee as I believe we arranged this before said Fiancee made an appearance.
Of course you don’t know what am talking about, it involves cockwomblers, they’re confusing fuckers.
4 working hours to go, Rioja, Killing Eve and American Idol Final awaits
This was the best season of American Idol ever. All of the finalists deserved to win.
Also I had to tell the fiancee I can’t marry her. My goal is to get fucked at least one more time in my life. Poor countries like Morocco are my best options.
Also, I am pretty sure I have been to Morroco before. But I was like 6 or 10 and mother wanted to go everywhere in one day so who knows.
Bahahahaha
Omg. I wanna go back to Morocco. So I’m throwing myself into this trip. My ex-fiance’s father and that side of his fam still live there. (Ex-fiance is either here or in Egypt now.)
YAY! But I have a question. If we have to wear masks on the flight, how will we sip our drinks in first class?
Amanda…totally agree!! I’m on the Coast as well and I’m afraid to go out with the Taternuts everywhere!
Thank goodness our town just announced no public graduation as the grads plus two guests each was way too many people. Some parents had actually signed a petition saying they would make the arrangements. Yeah. No.
Just had 50 new cases yesterday in our town in Connecticut.
OMG those boobs! Who could focus on anything else? Marlo was the WORST! And what was she wearing? She could not have looked worse if she tried! Grateful for Andy’s mute button, and why does this need to be a three parter? Cynthia is the only one with class on this show (and Candye), and she’s leaving. What a shit show it will be going forward. Can’t unsee those boobs…
Nene is just so damned jealous! She is such a hateful person, I honestly don’t understand how anyone could stan for her.
Ikr. If Nene is quote “HBIC” be honest and tell Kandi the truth and tell her the comment is about her. I hate that passive agressive BS. Then when you get called out on your BS then you go run and hide. If she was quote “HBIC” then stand your ground. She can talk about everybody else but if she gets called out she claims she is being ganged up on. Lastly she needs to ask for a refund regarding her boob job or go on Botched.
Do I need to watch just for the freaky boobs? Why should I judge, I haven’t worn a bra in days.
My niece asked her mother when would she get boobs.
Her mother told her truthfully that she had my genes therefore if she got boobs, she’d be lucky.
I’d say lucky at a B or C cup. Or even AAA, because I watched my sister deal with big ones.
Being strapped in is not the problem with these girls. It is the full on exposure with the zoom style reunion! At least when they were sitting on couches the cameras would pan out. Now they are in your face and depending on the size of your tv screen they are bigger than life!
I’m with you, staying at home these past few months, who needs to wear a bra so much!
I am not one to judge freaky boobs. I have Ginorous ones. But If your tits hand low you tie em in a knot you can tie em in a bow, and you can throw them over your shoulder like a continental solider…they may not be your best feature to expose on national TV.
NOBODY should wear a bra in quarantine.
And no you should skip the whole thing for the creepy boobs.
Ugh I miss not wearing a bra… I have damn pregnancy boobs that are killing me so it is 24-7 bra to keep them from hurting. Also I can’t bring myself to look at another reunion photo because of the boobs.
Bra llelujia by Spanx is my go-to pandemic bra.
My go to here is no bra at all but it’s starting to warm up, so…flop sweat needs to be addressed.
I put deodorant under mine. It does help with the flop sweat.
Cornstarch. As Ken Kesey said way back in the 1969s, “It keeps things slippin’ and slidin’ all day long.” His balls, not his boobs.
Wow, you are still wearing underwire. That was the first thing out of my life haha.
Just hot coffee nostril scalded snort Saggy Tits Pt 2, LOL!
I can’t focus on any broadcast that has this zoom/Brady Bunch stuff. So it’s weird that I have enjoyed these two Reunions. Like a lot. Like way too much that is healthy. I think it might be that the dynamic is so changed from the on the couches together mentality? NeNe has been particularly hysterical. Knowing from TT how much this nut is overpaid to keep walking off is mind boggling.
Did you notice Andy going after Kenya per usual? Saying something like you can dish it out but not take it?
Kandi and Kenya yave handled themselves the best. Hated that he muted Kandi tho.
Yeah I was pissed about meeting Kandi too. She’s the only one on here that has anything worth listening to. Maybe they didn’t want Nene being jealous but they had to mute her
Muting not meeting. That would be cool
Further research on Cockwomble also states
Popularised by the people of Scotland after Donald Trump congratulated them on voting for independence (Scotland actually voted to stay in the EU)
Shut the fuck up you great orange cockwomble
#womble#cock#prick#dickhead#arsehole
I love our ever expanding vocabulary here.
That ginormous cockwomble cockalorum!
If people don’t vote blue — no matter who — we will have him again. Spreading out votes on people who will not win or not voting in protest will mean people have HANDED him the win. VOTE! A vote for Biden is a vote AGAINST Trump. Even if you vote for Trump, use your vote. Please.
I didnt even realize that was Marlo the first episode of the reunion! The hair, the face, the outfit, and the boobs were hypnotic, why oh why?
i knew there had to be a word for it, cockwomble it is.
isn’t the point of that much boobage to attract the boys? who are not the majority of the RHOA audience so what’s the point? and since they are mostly in relationships, why advertise that much? i think they are just habituated to sexual display or is bravo encouraging exploitation?
People can wear what they want I suppose, lol. But their boobs just looked so painful to me. I always think this every time one of them wears their chest out. I love Kenya but she’s included too. She looked so beautiful for the reunion. Very natural and not over the top drag queen. I didn’t like Cynthia’s look. It reminds me of those Lola Falana wigs from back in the day.
Tanya annoys me. She didn’t have to accept Kenya’s apology but her response was shitty. And she didn’t acknowledge it. I wish kenya would’ve called her out about lying about their IVF conversations. I think that’s the real reason for Kenya going so far with the cookie lady along with the wig thing. Production’s clip of them laughing at Marlo’s event showed Tanya as a liar too.
Kandi was the MVP of the night. Porsha is doing too much. I loved how Kenya stayed poised.
In 7th and 8th grade, my best friend had 36C boobs. I looked 12. We moved 2 weeks before high school and my new best friend had huge (already droopy) boobs. I looked 13. For 6 years, “ALL” of the boys paid ALL of the attention to the big boobs friends. Every night from 7th grade until I was 19, I prayed for big boobs. EVERY NIGHT.
Then … something GOOD happened. I was really happy with my “small” perky boobs (34B). Even when a boyfriend told me he liked big boobs. I realized I didn’t need attention from idiot boobs guys (Jax). Suddenly, bras were burned; guys (and girls) told me I had perfect tits. This went on until I turned 40.
Then … something BAD happened. God found my prayers. They had fallen behind a dusty dresser. He said, “That poor girl; she so fervently prayed for YEARS for big boobs. I know, I will give her HUGE boobs!” Within WEEKS my boobs got huge. I hate them. But even at my age, my boobs are nowhere NEAR as droopy or saggy or “distancing” as the RHOA.
Those boobs! Almost all the HWs are guilty of letting their fat fake boobs exposed. Makes them look fat and old (old lady sagging boobs).
I like Tanya, I hope she comes back. I loved when her and Kenya were arguing and Kenya tries to cut her off with “you’re so corny “ and Andy hits back with she’s not corny she’s Canadian. Everything was a hot mess. Nene is on some mind altering substance, I think that’s why she keeps leaving. The boobage was too. Cover those things up. And stop with the boob jobs, especially Nene.
NeNe — the the rest NEED ONE MORE boob job! One to lift those saggy FUN BAGS. As I was typing, I remembered that term from Denise Richards YEARS ago when she had the reality show of her and her family from her little homestead. I wonder why she moved from there, she looked so happy there.
They need a serious crossover with the bra lady from 90-day fiancé. They whole bottom row above needs a bra consultation. What a difference it would make. Don’t they have a stylist?
OMG, I was thinking the same way about the bottom row. It was way too much!
They all talk ish about each other. The standard response is ” she did it first! ” and round and round we go. Year after year. Trash sells.
Re: boobs…Remember when you and your girlfriends would see who could still pass the “pencil test:? Now I could put a full can of Diet Coke under mine and it wouldn’t fall out…
I think of that damned pencil test every time I put on a bra. I still need to hook it in front and turn it around to the back. The pencil fell until my late 40s, then it all went to shit.
There MUST be an Irish saying for “went to shit.”
Shite-talk and Gobshites – Nanette – We have a whole dictionary and 2 types of shit/shite
“went to shit” chuaigh mé chun cac – Cac is shit
Shite is generally more expressive to my ears and usually comes more naturally as an interjection. Shit has its place in my speech but can feel rather like an import on my Southern Irish tongue.
I may use it to mean stuff (Whose is this shit?) or events/phenomena (That’s some crazy shit), and would not use shite in these contexts.
But others have told me they would, so there’s personal variation. I’ve never heard anyone say No shite for No shit, so I’d guess it’s not idiomatic.
Fuckin’ shite! as an exclamation of annoyance or frustration, intensified to Fuckin’ bolloxin’ shite! when the need for more extreme expression arises.
Shit-talk can mean trash-talk, i.e., put someone down (whether maliciously, jocularly, or competitively), but shite-talk, as a noun or intransitive verb, refers only to idle talk (We stayed up a while shite-talking) or nonsense (There’s no end of shite-talk out of her). A dry shite (less commonly dry balls) is a boring, anti-fun person.
Like shit, you can frighten the shite out of someone or kick the shite out of them, even seven shades of it. But if you know what’s good for you you won’t break your shite (from) laughing when your mother gives out shite to you.
Time for wine before you all think I am talking shit.
I really do hope that Nene leaves but I know that this is a ploy to get more money and sympathy. Her behavior is childish, immature and entitled. She can express how she feels about others but when someone expresses their feelings she feels like it’s a gang up. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
Andy’s use of the mute button was hysterical. One of my favorite reunion moments ever.
I can’t believe there’s going to be a saggy titties part 3. Thanks for taking the hit for us,Tamara, so we don’t have to. Or if we do watch afterward, we are forewarned. I wanted to watch, but just the amount of sagginesscin the photos is too much. Especially Nene. So wrong. Love, hate, or don’t care about Kenya: she looked the best.