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You are here: Home / Vanderpump Rules / Pump Rules Recap: A Tale Of Two Pool Parties

Pump Rules Recap: A Tale Of Two Pool Parties

May 12, 2020 by tamaratattles 49 Comments

I have not been a fan of this season of Pump Rules. But despite being a bit late to this Pump Rules recap, I am looking forward to it. I can’t wait for Sandoval’s counter pool party! Jax is going to lose his roid rage, Adderall induced, drug addled mind! And I am here for it. In other Pump Rules news, one of the editors on the show tweeted this week about how she loves to give Scheana the shadiest edits possible because she didn’t “befriend here” like she should have if she wanted a good edit. What a bitch. Does she still have job? I can’t stand Scheana and sort of live for the bad edits but that was very unprofessional to say on social media! Let’s see what she does to her tonight.

Somehow I knew that the obligatory LVP scene flirting with the younger guys would come first tonight. What I did not expect was for the Toms to show up to clean the SUR bathrooms in matching suits. Scheana totally won that softball game for SUR. Schwartz fantasizing about shaving LVP’s geriatric legs makes me want to barf.

Jax Is RAGEY Again!

James finally gets to DJ at SUR. I like Brett’s natural curls, but he dude needs to go see a hair stylists. The reverse mullet thing is not working for me. Dayna is loving being in a love triangle with Brett and Max.  Also why do people in LA insist on wearing long sleeve flannel shirts and beanies in the summertime.?

Click Here For More Pump Rules Recaps!

Jax is pissed at Sandoval for his dueling pool party. Um, hello!? You were rage texting people you invited to uninvite them. Now you get to decide that he can’t enjoy his own pool with all the people you’ve been a dick to this week? Jax is also offended that Brittany pointed out that this would not be happening if he was not rage texting Max ( AND SANDOVAL!). I don’t think anyone ever uses Brittany’s kitchen that they are filming in. No one’s counter tops have a decorative dish display, a bouquet of yellow tulips and 59 lemons in a bowl. It’s very staged. Jax is eating takeout off a dinner plate from home. Jax is going to the gym for the third time in one day. He needs a job.

I Take Sketch Comedy Very Seriously!

Shocker, the reason LVP and Ken are asking the Toms to invest in what is essentially and expansion of Tom Tom is they don’t want to give them their profits and they want them to keep working for free. So of course they will do that and LVP can go buy more designer dog clothes or something. Oh course they are going to let LVP and Ken keep the money.

Click Here For More Pump Rules Recaps!

Lala stops by to visit with Brittany and experiences her issues with Old Jax over the phone. She calls James and asks if he want to DJ Jax’s pool party no one is coming to and he can’t. He’s already DJing Sandovals! lol.

Pump Rules RecapScheana Can’t Stand That NuAriana Is In A Love Triangle

Dayna, aka the new Arianna, much like the old Arianna takes her sketch comedy very seriously!  Max and Brett are both there along with Stassi, Beau and Lala. Stassi is a total cunt as usual. She tells Max and Brett that is so sweet that they both came to support their girlfriend. Dayna has some dry humor that didn’t suck. But we didn’t see much of it. Scheana doesn’t support other women, so she waited to go to the after event with this crew.

Click Here For More Pump Rules Recaps!

Then Lala immediately stirs the pot with Dayna’s love triangle, because she’s a PROSTITUTION WHORE!  Then, Scheana ups the ante for screen time. Is she seriously coming for Dayna and Brett for making out when she was all up on Brett to the point he felt violated recently and offering him a blow job. She’s fucked around with both of them two and also the other thirty straight men in Weho. Shut up Scheana. Suddenly, Brett swears he doesn’t have feeling for Dayna. WTF? Brett and Max just need to do it and get it over with.

The Battle of the Pool Parties

Brittany managed to piss off Katie because Ariana implied that it was everyone’s idea to just have a party at Sandoval’s. But somehow that turned into it was all Katie’s idea so Brittany rage texted  Katie and Katie called her and then basically hung up on Britanny. Kristen, Carter, Peter, all the replacement cast working at SUR, EVERYONE is at Sandoval’s.  At The House of Rage, Brittany is actually using her kitchen to make….GINORMOUS MEAT BALLS? So far the guest list includes Lala and Brett. Why isn’t he down the street with Dayna? Then Stassi and Beau show up. Stassi tries to talk some sense into Jax. But he’s too fucked up to listen. He keeps muttering something about a sprained brain. Perhaps it is menopause?

Lala Is Just Another Street Kid From Utah Who Thinks She’s Hit The Jackpot

Lala’s storyline is this season is apparently Dayna’s love life. Max texted Brett that morning saying he basically feels some type of way about him being with Dayna. Max tells Lala AGAIN that he doesn’t have feeling for Dayna. Apparently, this is some sort of sword fight with penises. At Chez Sandoval, Dayna tells Katie that she’s over them both. They are both giving mixed messages and neither seems to be all that in to her.

Click Here For More Pump Rules Recaps!

Meanwhile, Kristen and Ariana talk about Stassi. Kristen let’s Ariana know that. Stassi is constantly ragging on Ariana’s house and her lack of furniture. Now Ariana is pissed at Stassi. Oh and Kristen says she and her on and off boyfriend, Carter, are dating again. Katie has some sort of moment of common decency and hugs things out with James!

Oh! Next week is the finale. There was finally one semi-decent episode and now it’s done.  The reunion should be interesting.

WWHL Mini Recap With James & Rachel and Sandoval & Ariana

James is eleven months sober. Good for him. Quaranting in a pandemic without drinking is quite a feat. Sandoval and Andy both have quarantine beards. I too have a quarantine chin and half a mustache. My old lady whiskers need plucking pretty much every dayum day! Sandoval looks really hot!

They just filmed the virtual reunion. Everyone thought the reunion was great. Apparently, Lala, Stassi and Katie trash Ariana on the Bravo after show. Ariana should wear that like a badge of honor, she is so far above all of them.

In other news, I stayed up all night again last night and then drank coffee and Co-Colas all day so hopefully that will help get me back on track? Be safe you guys. Stay Home. This isn’t over yet no matter how stupid your governor/president may be… And surely we can go a bit longer without making more Teslas. NO ONE IS DRIVING ANYWHERE NOW!

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Filed Under: Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: Ariana Madix, Brett Caprioni, Brittany Cartwright, Brittany Cartwright-Cauchi, Charli Burnett, Danica Dow, Dayna Kathan, James Kennedy, Jax Taylor, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, Kristen Doute, Lala Kent, Lisa Vanderpump, Max Boyens, Pump Rules, Raquel Leviss, Scheana Shay, Stassi Schroeder, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Vanderpump Rules

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. LA_in_KY says

    May 13, 2020 at 12:20 am

    Surprise, I am going to drop a Kentucky bomb. Someone related to a cast member told me personally that there is always a room or area with more “pasta” that would blow your mind.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      May 13, 2020 at 3:58 am

      So very 1970s-’80s. I don’t like to judge, and I would be a hypocrite if I judged about drugs, but I would hope they would be able to learn from history where this leads. This party never ends well. Someone always goes to jail and someone always dies.

      Reply
      • LA_in_KY says

        May 13, 2020 at 11:04 am

        I just couldn’t believe how stupid it was to say that out loud like it was something to brag about.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          May 13, 2020 at 11:38 am

          I would sell my soul for some coke right now. I miss the 80s.

          Reply
          • Cheryl B.(cherylannburke1) says

            May 13, 2020 at 5:46 pm

            (Gotta agree with that!! Curbside delivery woohoo)

            Reply
            • BeetsWhy says

              May 13, 2020 at 6:14 pm

              It took me until the new millennium to realize coffee did the same thing to me. I was a tea drinker, never touched coffee, imagine the money I could have saved!

          • Ninnyro says

            May 18, 2020 at 4:54 pm

            Bwahaha. I love you for this. And yes, to piggyback on what was said above, they do love coke. Well, at least some of them. A friend of mine partied with one of them. Their gf was furious and kept banging on doors trying to find him. It’s not who you think either.

            Reply
  2. LA_in_KY says

    May 13, 2020 at 12:49 am

    So, when said person has visited, and went to parties with cast members, there has been a side room with a ton of “pasta”. I only know that because it has been directly said to me. You all know what that means.

    Reply
    • Squirrelmistress says

      May 13, 2020 at 11:09 am

      i know what it means, and i’m shocked that nobody else commented on it.

      Reply
    • Sali says

      May 13, 2020 at 9:54 pm

      When I watch the show, it never has my full attention. I’m always doing something else while it plays in the background which is why I come read TT’s recaps… I never knew that’s what it meant. ?‍♀️ Never really knew what it meant at all actually, so thanks for the clarification!

      Reply
  3. Nanette says

    May 13, 2020 at 3:54 am

    I already knew which party/side I was on, and seeing which party Peter chose to attend (Sandoval’s) said everything else I may not have seen going on behind the scenes.

    This whole “no furniture” thing has always been stupid. Sandoval and Ariana have the best style on the show. I assumed they were taking their time looking for the perfect furniture. Hearing on WWHL — and seeing the furniture behind them — that EVERYONE knew who they were working with on custom furniture and had seen them with fabric swatches, etc. just demonstrates how FAKE this show has become. Along with the remarks the idiot editor released about Scheana. We all know there is editing — this is not an objective documentary — but I hope that bitch loses her job.

    Tom Tom profits and parlays and gardens, oh, my. I hope for the sake of the Toms that this shitshow goes on. Because I don’t know don’t trust anything about the Vanderpump books.

    Reply
  4. Joey says

    May 13, 2020 at 7:32 am

    If the editor intentionally made Schena look bad, then how much did she hide of LaLa, Katie, and Stassi’s true behavior? They are already not nice to Kristen and Arianna, just think the editor made them look good because they befriended her. I can’t imagine how awful they are in real life.

    Reply
    • Tamz says

      May 14, 2020 at 1:47 pm

      Great point!

      Reply
  5. Eastjames says

    May 13, 2020 at 10:00 am

    My husband is a SoCal boy (we live in the South now) and he is always wearing long sleeve button up shirts and a hat even when it’s hot a sunny. I don’t get it! Also I have taken to just shaving my little chin hairs off. I guess I’ll just be like Caroline Manzo by the time it’s all said and done.

    Reply
    • 4paz says

      May 13, 2020 at 10:58 am

      OFF TOPIC: Nair for legs works great on my face. I know, I know, but my skin is tough as hell. I do it once a month and feel so smooth for about a week or two.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        May 13, 2020 at 11:41 am

        I try to pluck my chin hair and shave my half mustache. But I AM doing it more than ever before.

        Reply
      • Eastjames says

        May 13, 2020 at 12:22 pm

        I’ve waxed, plucked, and tried the Nair….nothing seems to work except just shaving it straight off. My chin hair should be studied by science and cloned for people who are balding.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          May 13, 2020 at 12:29 pm

          I have tweezers right by the laptop. I pluck the chin hairs ALMOST DAILY and shave the half mustache. I’ve had these oddball hairs for a while but I thin the quarantine is going to me new levels.

          Reply
          • LakeCarly says

            May 13, 2020 at 1:34 pm

            I did Threading once. Was with a friend who was getting her eyebrows done so I thought I’d try it too. The threader did my brows and then asked if I wanted those “stray hairs” on my upper lip off too. I have never felt smoother, softer skin in my life where she threaded. The process is just so cool to watch but it’s not without pain if you have sensitive skin. I don’t live near there anymore so I just pluck now.

            Reply
            • Katherine 2.0 says

              May 13, 2020 at 10:52 pm

              I like the wax strips; used them on my mom. I don’t have any facial hair, which is weird. Several years ago, I found a pubic-like tough one on my chin. I was horrified and envisioned a full beard coming soon.
              My first attempt to pull it out with my fingers resulted in me simply curling it. Omg. When I did manage to yank it out, it was so thick, my chin was sore for a day or two. Blech.

            • Amanda says

              May 14, 2020 at 12:46 am

              I tried threading once like last year and was very pleased! My eyebrows are dark blonde, lighter and finer in texture than my actual head hair, which makes no sense but it was way better than the few times I’ve tried waxing. Maybe at some point after the lockdown but by this point, me and my oldest daughter are cutting and coloring hair with reckless abandon and so far so good! Six inches off mine and it looks better than some of the overpriced cuts I’ve gotten in the past! I’m not one to cry over hair though; mine grows back way to quickly for my taste anyhow. If I can manage at home, I’m down with saving money. I’ve yet to color my hair yet because I haven’t had totally virgin hair since I was like 14 years old.

    • PixnTrix says

      May 13, 2020 at 12:57 pm

      I’m so glad I’m not the only one with this problem ugh!!! Tried Nair on my upper lip ended up with a burned upper lip which was worse than the damn whiskers. Now I shave or pluck. It scares me that my eyes will start to fail me and then WTF.

      Reply
      • BeetsWhy says

        May 13, 2020 at 6:43 pm

        Since menopause I look like a freaking catfish. The sides of my lips seem to sprout inch long hairs overnight. The manageable one or two chin hairs have had children and grandchildren. I am forever plucking and never caught up.

        Reply
        • HereForTheTea says

          May 14, 2020 at 9:24 pm

          Don’t forget about your nose hairs. Mine seem to sprout overnight. I had to buy a nose hair trimmer…so gross. Menopause bites.

          Reply
        • Nanette says

          May 16, 2020 at 11:02 am

          When I used to make a (barely) living wage, I had a really good aesthetician. She told me that some of those hairs DO pop up overnight. (I was worried I had been running around with 1-inch rogues) and that the Chinese call them “mystery hairs.”

          I keep seeing ads for Finishing Touch products — facial hair removal devices for women — for about $20 each. Naturally, I want the other brand that costs $75.

          WHY hasn’t anyone approached Sandoval to front a line of face and hair care products?

          Reply
  6. Randi says

    May 13, 2020 at 10:29 am

    To be clear, I don’t think that Jax is mad at Sandoval because of the pastor thing and any affect it had on his wedding or Brittany, he’s mad at him because he dared to have a competing pool party.

    Reply
    • lilune says

      May 15, 2020 at 4:32 pm

      I wonder if there’s a bit of underlying jealousy about his two friends partially owning their own business with Lisa and Ken that he has no part of and he thinks he’s the star of show/alpha male.

      Reply
  7. 4paz says

    May 13, 2020 at 10:55 am

    Of course, the TOMS made a profit. They pack the house with their cuteness. And from what I hear, they show up all the time. I really hope they don’t lose their money. The restaurant business is tough. LVP better NOT lead them down a path of pink roses to their financial doom! She wouldn’t . . . right? That’s low, low, low, low. Too low.

    Reply
    • Nanette says

      May 16, 2020 at 11:07 am

      The Toms show up and WORK. Even though they could sit back and be “personalities.” Unlike Jax, who can’t even make a fucking mojito. Sandoval must have covered for Jax for YEARS. A friend went to SUR and her sister got into a big fight with Jax, which my friend found hysterical. LVP showed up and posed for photos with them.

      Reply
  8. Laura says

    May 13, 2020 at 11:39 am

    I love laughing at Scheana’s neediness but am not amused by the intentional crap edits. That sucks out loud.

    I don’t understand anyone in L.A. wearing flannel shirts and beanies period. You move to L.A. so you don’t have to wear either. It’s not a cool look no matter where you live.

    Reply
  9. therealdeb says

    May 13, 2020 at 1:06 pm

    Jax is pissy that the wedding is over and all the attention isn’t on him anymore. He loved being the center of the universe. Brittany is stupid to have married him, but we all knew that. He is really going off the rails, that can’t all be roid rage, that has to be more than just the adderall it’s craziness. He’s scary, and I love that everyone basically said a big Fuck you to him and headed to Sandoval and Arianas house. That was the much more awesome party. And I do like sober James, I’ve always had a soft spot for him.

    Reply
    • HereForTheTea says

      May 13, 2020 at 2:14 pm

      I agree with everything you said. Not only is Jax upset that all attention isn’t focused on him, he’s upset that he can no longer use his father’s death and his wedding as an excuse to treat his friends horribly and have them just sit and take it because it’s his “big day”. Poor Brittany… she knew exactly what she was getting but the promise of bright lights and D-list fame got the better of her.

      Reply
  10. Megan I says

    May 13, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    I thought Sandoval look really good au natural (as possible); like a real boy! Stassi speaking to Jax was a production stroke of genius; where has this energy been all season? Wedded bliss = blah, blah, blah. Roided up Jax is pure gold!

    The mustache struggle is real my friend! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Nadia Oliver says

    May 13, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    I had to get a “Man” shaver. My ghotee (sp) is better than some guys I know. And since I’m part Irish, the hair is Red!!! Being in the big Q has made me lazy. Heck I’m not going anywhere, my on again off again bf has seen worse, he calls it my Peach Fuzz. And I have this one eyebrow hair that grows like a weed. It gets so long I can wrap it around my pinky and pull it out. LOL. I keep saying, I’ll shave tomorrow, it’s been a month now!

    Reply
  12. Cheryl B.(cherylannburke1) says

    May 13, 2020 at 5:51 pm

    I really don’t think this season is good.
    It just seems to make no sense. If it was the married couples, um still boring.
    Newbies, um, hmmm. Nothing interesting.
    The Toms. Ugh, yuck, stupid, not funny, embarrassing.
    I think it’s run it’s course.
    We’ll see.

    Reply
  13. Maria says

    May 13, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    I keep thinking if this show will survive the quarantine. They are in a highly regulated state and normally film during the summer, so they probably won’t film or film late right?

    Reply
  14. Cheryl B.(cherylannburke1) says

    May 13, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    I also predict Brittany is way too concerned about other people and their opinions to be successful with Jax. To force how people (mislead)portray the pre-existing wedding conditions between them, in which they succeeded amazed me.Can you imagine having others only speak approved topics, and make sure you are happy, rather than the truth? Brittany is in for a shock. Very sad.

    Reply
  15. BeetsWhy says

    May 13, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    Did nobody else think Katie was high AF during her scenes on party day? At the restaurant with Tom and then at Sandovals?

    This had to be the most scripted episode ever, it was painful to watch. In my mind I could see all of them around a table picking out matching vomit shirts for the Tom’s to “clean the bathroom” in thinking they are so clever. Then coming up with ways for Lala to play adult whore while doling out wisdom to the plebes. The camera shots from the cool kids party to make it look just crazy fun.

    I completely FFd thru the New Kids crap, it’s just too scripted/stupid. This has to be the end of this show, it just has to be. ?

    Reply
    • Amanda says

      May 14, 2020 at 12:49 am

      Katie has seemed high af several times this season. It’s not like take the edge of high, she’s like fully baked and it’s not a good look. And Lala! I used to root for her!! Those days are long gone.

      Reply
  16. Ames says

    May 13, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    Do you have any tea about the reunion? Kristen and Stassi?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      May 14, 2020 at 3:28 am

      I got nothing. I am just so over caring, I am not begging for news anymore. I really just don’t care.

      Reply
  17. BravoFan says

    May 13, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    I was surprised when Scheana said stassi comment on their lack of furniture because I thought it was Lala? Yes Katie was so high at the pool party. All the new people can go, especially Brett/Max

    Reply
  18. Sonia says

    May 13, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    Sheana wishes it was her in the love triangle, her scenes in the video made me cringe.
    jax is most def back on steriods, coke, ect. Add Adderal, and at 40, he is going to give himself a heart attack, he needs to slow his roll.

    If I was Dayna, I’d tell both those fuckboys to take a hike.

    Reply
  19. LA_in_KY says

    May 14, 2020 at 2:06 am

    Pasta equals cocaine.

    Reply
    • LA_in_KY says

      May 14, 2020 at 2:12 am

      All day based on someone’s stupid family member that opened their big mouth. I would never, ok, you’ll y’all have fun that.

      Reply
  20. Bridgett says

    May 14, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    Jax is the way he has always been. He has always been hateful toward Sandoval and blames everything on him…he screwed Tom’s girlfriend and still threw blame Tom’s way. Tom is not perfect, but he is that friend that would do anything for you and do it up big…Jax is that friend that would clog your toilet at a party and not tell you, borrow your car return it with no gas and a scratch, spill your secrets because he’s bored, etc. He’s vile, Brittany knows it, admits it, and condones it…that speaks volumes about her as a person. Hell, even she blames Sandoval.

    Reply
    • Sali says

      May 14, 2020 at 6:09 pm

      Bridgett, yes, yes, yes and yes!

      Reply
  21. Prycer says

    May 14, 2020 at 6:06 pm

    I might be on an island by myself but I do hope that the editor gets fired for the bad edits. She’s basically blackmailing people to be friends with her. Does this mean that everybody else is kissing her ass for good edits? So not cool and very childish. I’m not a Scheana fan but she doesn’t even deserve this. Another reason why you shouldn’t be on reality TV.

    Reply
  22. boo says

    May 17, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    just knowing scheana didn’t go kissing this editor’s ass to be on their “good side” makes me like scheana… never hated her, she can be too much but she seems to be a good person. i 100% support scheana over stassi, lala or katie all day ‘errryday

    Reply

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