I have not been a fan of this season of Pump Rules. But despite being a bit late to this Pump Rules recap, I am looking forward to it. I can’t wait for Sandoval’s counter pool party! Jax is going to lose his roid rage, Adderall induced, drug addled mind! And I am here for it. In other Pump Rules news, one of the editors on the show tweeted this week about how she loves to give Scheana the shadiest edits possible because she didn’t “befriend here” like she should have if she wanted a good edit. What a bitch. Does she still have job? I can’t stand Scheana and sort of live for the bad edits but that was very unprofessional to say on social media! Let’s see what she does to her tonight.
Somehow I knew that the obligatory LVP scene flirting with the younger guys would come first tonight. What I did not expect was for the Toms to show up to clean the SUR bathrooms in matching suits. Scheana totally won that softball game for SUR. Schwartz fantasizing about shaving LVP’s geriatric legs makes me want to barf.
Jax Is RAGEY Again!
James finally gets to DJ at SUR. I like Brett’s natural curls, but he dude needs to go see a hair stylists. The reverse mullet thing is not working for me. Dayna is loving being in a love triangle with Brett and Max. Also why do people in LA insist on wearing long sleeve flannel shirts and beanies in the summertime.?
Jax is pissed at Sandoval for his dueling pool party. Um, hello!? You were rage texting people you invited to uninvite them. Now you get to decide that he can’t enjoy his own pool with all the people you’ve been a dick to this week? Jax is also offended that Brittany pointed out that this would not be happening if he was not rage texting Max ( AND SANDOVAL!). I don’t think anyone ever uses Brittany’s kitchen that they are filming in. No one’s counter tops have a decorative dish display, a bouquet of yellow tulips and 59 lemons in a bowl. It’s very staged. Jax is eating takeout off a dinner plate from home. Jax is going to the gym for the third time in one day. He needs a job.
I Take Sketch Comedy Very Seriously!
Shocker, the reason LVP and Ken are asking the Toms to invest in what is essentially and expansion of Tom Tom is they don’t want to give them their profits and they want them to keep working for free. So of course they will do that and LVP can go buy more designer dog clothes or something. Oh course they are going to let LVP and Ken keep the money.
Lala stops by to visit with Brittany and experiences her issues with Old Jax over the phone. She calls James and asks if he want to DJ Jax’s pool party no one is coming to and he can’t. He’s already DJing Sandovals! lol.
Scheana Can’t Stand That NuAriana Is In A Love Triangle
Dayna, aka the new Arianna, much like the old Arianna takes her sketch comedy very seriously! Max and Brett are both there along with Stassi, Beau and Lala. Stassi is a total cunt as usual. She tells Max and Brett that is so sweet that they both came to support their girlfriend. Dayna has some dry humor that didn’t suck. But we didn’t see much of it. Scheana doesn’t support other women, so she waited to go to the after event with this crew.
Then Lala immediately stirs the pot with Dayna’s love triangle, because she’s a PROSTITUTION WHORE! Then, Scheana ups the ante for screen time. Is she seriously coming for Dayna and Brett for making out when she was all up on Brett to the point he felt violated recently and offering him a blow job. She’s fucked around with both of them two and also the other thirty straight men in Weho. Shut up Scheana. Suddenly, Brett swears he doesn’t have feeling for Dayna. WTF? Brett and Max just need to do it and get it over with.
The Battle of the Pool Parties
Brittany managed to piss off Katie because Ariana implied that it was everyone’s idea to just have a party at Sandoval’s. But somehow that turned into it was all Katie’s idea so Brittany rage texted Katie and Katie called her and then basically hung up on Britanny. Kristen, Carter, Peter, all the replacement cast working at SUR, EVERYONE is at Sandoval’s. At The House of Rage, Brittany is actually using her kitchen to make….GINORMOUS MEAT BALLS? So far the guest list includes Lala and Brett. Why isn’t he down the street with Dayna? Then Stassi and Beau show up. Stassi tries to talk some sense into Jax. But he’s too fucked up to listen. He keeps muttering something about a sprained brain. Perhaps it is menopause?
Lala Is Just Another Street Kid From Utah Who Thinks She’s Hit The Jackpot
Lala’s storyline is this season is apparently Dayna’s love life. Max texted Brett that morning saying he basically feels some type of way about him being with Dayna. Max tells Lala AGAIN that he doesn’t have feeling for Dayna. Apparently, this is some sort of sword fight with penises. At Chez Sandoval, Dayna tells Katie that she’s over them both. They are both giving mixed messages and neither seems to be all that in to her.
Meanwhile, Kristen and Ariana talk about Stassi. Kristen let’s Ariana know that. Stassi is constantly ragging on Ariana’s house and her lack of furniture. Now Ariana is pissed at Stassi. Oh and Kristen says she and her on and off boyfriend, Carter, are dating again. Katie has some sort of moment of common decency and hugs things out with James!
Oh! Next week is the finale. There was finally one semi-decent episode and now it’s done. The reunion should be interesting.
WWHL Mini Recap With James & Rachel and Sandoval & Ariana
James is eleven months sober. Good for him. Quaranting in a pandemic without drinking is quite a feat. Sandoval and Andy both have quarantine beards. I too have a quarantine chin and half a mustache. My old lady whiskers need plucking pretty much every dayum day! Sandoval looks really hot!
They just filmed the virtual reunion. Everyone thought the reunion was great. Apparently, Lala, Stassi and Katie trash Ariana on the Bravo after show. Ariana should wear that like a badge of honor, she is so far above all of them.
In other news, I stayed up all night again last night and then drank coffee and Co-Colas all day so hopefully that will help get me back on track? Be safe you guys. Stay Home. This isn’t over yet no matter how stupid your governor/president may be… And surely we can go a bit longer without making more Teslas. NO ONE IS DRIVING ANYWHERE NOW!