I’m a tiny bit late to the Pump Rule recap tonight because I was watching The Voice results and forgot I was a few minutes behind. Also, I also feel like this show might be on it’s last leg. It’s a shame, it used to be one of my favorites.
Apparently, Scheana made a porno with Brett under the guise of a “music video.” And if that isn’t ridiculous enough for you, Sandoval and Jax took their shoes to a… um….shoe cleaning place. Jax’s credit card was declined for his $122 bill. Really? How can he possibly be over the limit on his credit card? This happens to him all the time. Jax feels the need to join the latest Pump Rules past time and bash Kristen. Then he bashes Ariana…TO SANDOVAL! Basically, he calls Ariana a bitch.
Bitches Here, Bitches There, Bitches, Bitches Everywhere
Brittany and Stassi take their dogs to the dog park. Stassi is already turning into bridezilla. No one is surprised by that. Brittany is having a party and basically asks Stassi if it is okay if Kristen comes. Why does she need Stassi’s permission?
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Later, it is clear that Jason has left the building and coked up Jax is back. He’s rude to Scheana and then just starts listing what he hates about everyone else. He seems very…frantic. And sweaty. He seems really obsessed with Tom and Ariana. Especially them buying a house together. Why are people on these shows so obsessed with everyone else’s relationships? Jax mocks Ariana’s depression.
Trashy Behavior
Max organizes a group to do a beach clean up and pick up trash. Kristen shows up and grabs Kristen by the neck and gives her a kiss on the cheek and congratulates her on her engagement. It was awkward. The beach was fairly clean and of course the girls stayed in the clean part rather than down by the water where things wash up. So there wasn’t much of an environmental impact made.
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Dayna confronted Brett about making a porn with Scheana. We see way too much footage of the video. It’s a porno. Brett tells Dayna he felt violated by Scheana at times. Really? He says that Scheana offered him a blowjob. I have trouble believing that she wouldn’t have just started giving him one without asking. Jax not only refused to come to the beach clean up but sent a series of ragey texts to Max about what a stupid idea the beach cleanup was. Once again, Brittany is left making excuses for Jax.
The Rage Texts Continue…
After the beach clean up, everyone headed over to Ariana’s dinner party. Sandoval had rage texts from Jax, who was accusing him talking about him to other people. He disinvited him from his pool party on Friday. Then, he sent an even nastier one to Max mocking him for “crying to his wife because he can’t come to his house.” I get it now. The reason his credit cards are declined is because he spent all his money on coke…or whatever the kids are doing these days. Maybe it’s roid rage.
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Sandoval wants to throw a counter party at his place on the day of Jax’s pool party. There seems to be some interest from the rest of the group about this. Ariana’s meal looked amazing. Of course Katie had to mock the hostess several times for using rented table and chairs. Katie is such a blob of negativity. Perhaps Jax and Schwartz could swap wives. Schwartz and Brittany would be cute together, don’t you think? After Ariana makes a lovely toast to her friends, the civilized ones thank her for cooking for them. Katie says, “There better be sheet cake for dessert!” She’s such a pig. Max pulls Dayna aside and tells her that it bothers him to see her with Brett because he still has feelings for her. He might have even shared a tear or two. Dayna isn’t sure she believes him.
Popping Off At The Pop Up
Kristen has a pop up shop for her James Mae clothing line. Brett tries to explain to Scheana that he felt violated during the video shoot. He gave several examples of her inappropriate behavior. She replied with, “Yeah, it’s called acting.” I must say, Brett sure looked like he was having a good time. Scheana doubles down on her “job” which is now apparently porn actress. At least she is confident in her abilities. Then she gets mad and has a tantrum and tells Brett she is firing him. Brett points out that he doesn’t work for her, he was doing her a favor.
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Jax comes up to Max who is sitting with Sandoval. He seems slightly less maniac. He apologizes to Max for all the rage texts. Jax says he is going through some mental problems and he is angry all of the time. So, I think my final answer is roid rage, Alex. Jax tells Sandoval and Max they can come to his pool party. I’m sure they will jump right on that invitation. It sounds lovely. Sandoval isn’t buying whatever it is Jax is trying to sell.
Jaxass
Then, Jax goes to harass Kristen about some sex tape she made with a guy who is not Carter. Kristen says it was for years ago and Carter knows about it. Also, Carter and Kristen had sex that morning. Jax said Kristen had sex on tape two years ago. Kristen tells us she is lying to Jax because he runs his mouth too much. Jax is of course shouting it from the rooftops in the middle of her pop up shop booth causing a major scene. Because, roid rage. It seems Kristen had already told Brittany and Lala about it. Later back at the house, Brittany cries because the old Jax is back. She had to know this would happen.
LVP told James he could DJ at SUR. At least for one night.
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Next time, Sandoval has a pool party at the same time as Jax’s pool party. Which one would you rather go to? Yeah, I think that is everyone else too. Also, I wish people would stop wasting good champagne by spraying it everywhere! Ken and Lisa ask the Toms if they want to invest in a cocktail garden with them. They can buy in and get 10% of profits and once again do all the work for them. The love trial between Dayna, Brett and Max intensifies.
This show gives me anxiety. I liked it the first few seasons. I do not like watching the new ones at all. I used to not care for Kristen, but I truly feel for her. Everyone treats her like shit and it’s unwarranted. Stassi will be like a bridezilla on crack. She was always a total bitch at her birthday party. I agree about Jax. He is so sweaty & enraged. He will drive Brittany over the edge. Scheana is desperate AF. This show seems like it’s run it’s course.
Agree, I used to not like Kristen also but since she’s tried to improve, I feel bad for the way the others treat her. They really aren’t giving her a second chance. And I’ve noticed Katie will never let Kristen back into their little clique. It seems like once Katie doesn’t like you, you’re out for good.
I truly wonder if Stassi & Katie are trying to get Kristen fired from show. They know Lisa doesn’t like her. They’ve seen it on the housewives’ shows that when no one wants to film with someone they sometimes get the ax. They don’t like Scheana either, but they don’t ice her out and exclude her like Kristen, but they know LVP has always seemed to have a soft spot for Scheana.
As soon as Stassi got engaged I stopped watching Pump 100% not about to watch the entitled Stacci through this wedding thing. I’m over all the weddings. Thanks for the update, TT
Jax is such a jerk and terrible to his friends and terrible on social media. Ugh. He’s just gross. I wish the show would get rid of him. Why is everyone crapping on Kristen??
‘Blob of negativity’ should be Katie’s social media handles in perpetuity.
Maybe Jax is doing ice? His constant whining about the cost of his wedding and anything associated with his relationship with Brittany – currently the only plus in his life – is also really telling. Maybe he’s pissed that it’s cutting into his pasta budget. Maybe he’s now forced to buy off brand and his behaviour reflects this?
Prediction Jax heads to rehab 3 years from now. Hopefully VP will be cancelled by then.
I hope his poor heart holds out 3 years.
Not trying to be ugly.
I’ve been through a truly amazing rehab and have witnessed even that fail.
I pray for.Jason!
I have to admit, for me the show is not done. I’m actually starting to get into the Brett/Dana/Max storyline. And Jax always fascinates me. Brittney said it herself, she knew this Jax before and married him anyway. His whole apology to the guys was just more sociopathic behavior …trying to gain sympathy. Kristin seems better than ever. Time to dump the Witches and go live her best life…with Carter or whomever she wants. She has enough trouble being happy, she doesn’t need the toxicity of Katie and Stassi in her life.
Jax admitted he does Adderall. His cycle is pot, eating, weight gain, Adderall. If he’s not taking it properly — and does ANYONE believe he is? — it can bring on aggressive behavior, paranoia and rambling (his texts are all of those). I would feel sorry for Brittany, but she knew who she married. Who is worse off, Brittany or Schwartz? I call a tie.
I so loved Arianna’s voiceover regarding Katie. After that beautiful meal, she wants a sheet cake? Not creme brûlée, not cheesecake, SHEET CAKE! Oh, I get it, it’s GIANT. She wants a giant piece. And to keep with that theme, there’s always room for Jell-o! Take it all, the whole mold! She is an abysmal bitch. It’s not about the tequila, it’s permanent now. If I were Ariana, I would get a shitty Costco sheet cake and present it to her at the pool party.
When I saw that I thought a nice dinner guest would bring a cake to the hostess as a gift. Of course she didn’t do that.
Costco sheet cake is delicious. Just saying.
For once, I was with Katie. Damn, sheetcake does sound great right about now. I love store frosting. I can’t make a light frosting like that. I want chocolate cake with white frosting and sprinkles, maybe a purple flower or two. A girl can dream. 🙂
for me it cant be that fake whipped cream frosting, it has to be the real sugar kind. Sheet cakes with real frosting, mmmmmm
Yes, Ingrid – I hate the whipped stuff! Give me the real sugar kind, too. And thanks, Nanette, for the frosting recipe.
One secret to good frosting is to NOT USE confectioner sugar (YUK!). Use superfine cane sugar; you can run it through the food processor to make it SUPER super fine. Use a regular buttercream or cream cheese frosting recipe, but sub out the overly sweet confectioners. Dissolve the sugar in a little bit of milk or buttermilk — more of a slurry than dissolved. Mix it with butter and/or cream cheese. Add your regular flavoring. You may need to chill for 15-20 minutes. I’ve been doing this for years, found out on a baking show it may be European buttercream.
LOVE this!!! Thanks!!!
I weep for all of you sheet cake eaters. You haven’t lived until you’ve had my sister’s hummingbird cake. And there are usually homemade biscuits and a pie and another kind of cake and… SIGH. I’m going to miss that.
Wegmans is my favorite!
Beau, Beau, Beau.
Run while you can.
I like Stassi…I find her cute, funny and clever.
But she is a poisonously jealous Mean Girl.
Observe how she treats Kristen.
This is how she will treat your daughter.
Signed,
A Fan
Jax calling out anyone for lying is just too, too much. I don’t know what is wrong with him (in addition to his usual sociopathy, which we’ve known about for years), but something definitely is.
Have I mentioned Scheana makes me cringe? Only every episode. In one of her talking heads, she was complaining about the guys in LA and said something like if she’s flirty and sexy, she’s coming on too strong, and if she plays hard to get, then she’s not confident. She asks how she is supposed to know what a guy wants if he doesn’t say it. She has so overthought things in her head, she doesn’t even know how to be honest and real anymore. I guess that’s part of the superficial LA curse for a woman in her mid-30s, or as Brett says, middle age.
Brett’s hair down over his forehead is awful.
Bret is creepy.
Scheana is darling, but would be well served to move to Minnesota!
Scheana could be hot in Minnesota! Bret looks like a labradoodle in quarantine.
So much talk about sex tapes & pornos during this episode, yet I can’t believe Bravo missed an opportunity to mention/shade Scheana’s ACTUAL porn past. She made multiple movies while working for LVP just before VPR started filming.
Did she really do porn??? Any idea the names of the movie (s)?? I’d love to youtube them 😜😂😜
Did you notice the MAJOR JIGGLE when Brett slapped her thigh? That wouldn’t look too cute in a porno! I am old and fat and I don’t jiggle like that — I checked in the mirror.
Bratz Doll Does Dallas.
Brittany reminds me of my younger self unfortunately. Always making excuses for bad behavior. Hopefully she will wake up before she makes the mistake of having a baby with this guy. He will NOT be a good father. Narcissists never are. The minute she pays more attention to a baby, which any good mother does, he will make her life a living hell
I am kind of scared for her to have a kid with him too. Every time you see her post videos of her drinking in quarantine it’s a relief.
and to think i passed over all of this to watch deadliest catch – the main show, the tuna in hawaii show, the aftershow. smart, confident, strong men doing a fascinating real job who think a lot about what they do and how to do it better and safer. this is the anti-vpr.
No matter what they get paid, it’s not enough. That work would be hard even if they weren’t out at sea (sometimes freezing) risking their lives.
You may enjoy Blow the Man Down on Prime. I love the parts where the men sing sea shanties. It’s a mystery, but at a fishing town.
I haven’t seen this episode yet but let me tell you Jax is a coke head! In the 80’s & the 90’s I was employed by a major record company and coke was everywhere. Yes I did partake but was lucky, as I managed to keep myself somewhat (?) together. I have great coke radar and I have said to others who survived the music biz that Jax does coke and they agree. I wouldn’t touch coke now if you paid me. I saw a great many casualties during my day and it wasn’t pretty.
I saw Jax at SUR a few yearsnago, and he did the storming out the back door scene three times before the camera crew had it. LOL. Reality TV — so fake. But the interesting part came when Carrot Top flew into SUR like a man on fire. He was manic, clearly a man looking for a fix. Guess who he beelined?
There are a CRAZY amount of drugs in Hollywood.
Watch the episodes from the first seasons where Jax and the Toms continually wipe their noses: VERY telling.
I bet Jax does Adderall, too.
He admitted he did Adderall. I agree with Micmac that his behavior seems coked up, but I don’t see most of the jaw clenching.
Botox for the jaw: common cure for the clench.
Aha! Jax also had the deviated septum.
My mom almost choked to death imitating Laura (Genie Francis) doing ”the clench” on General Hospital (1980s). Then, my sister and I almost died laughing at Mom — and because we had our suspicions about The Clench.
oh totally, micmac, he looked coked up the entire episode and then tried to blame it on adderall. What a poor situation he is in! He gets high, eats too much, then needs adderall to lose weight. Liar liar.
Brett’s Flock of Seagulls hairstyle was hilarious.
Yes, Brett’s hair is everything!
Flock of Assholes, we called them.
Jax has Ramona eyes, but 100x more scary. Run, Brittany, Run! Of course she won’t, because she loves being on the Tee-Vee. I couldn’t care less about the new group, I fast forward. This used to be a fun show with an authentic group of friends and now it’s just scripted caricatures.
I don’t think anyone would be friends with Jax if it weren’t for the paycheck, and that includes his wife.
Hello, I’m new here but I’ve been reading your recaps for several years. Felt compelled to finally weigh in on VPR and I’m not sure how to say this, but I am seriously considering quitting this show. I am struggling to watch these episodes and I despise virtually everyone. I keep trying to care but find myself fast forwarding and sometimes taking days to watch it. I used to watch it immediately, used to belong to FB pages dedicated to commenting asap after each show and listened to podcasts dedicated to it and now….? I wait days to watch and feel like I’ve wasted my time and I’ve quit every FB page to comment. Anyone else feel this way?
I’m getting there. It just seems it’s run it’s course. I do not like the new ones at all. I usually change the channel, go to the bathroom, etc during their scenes.
I am heartbroken to say this because it was MY FAVORITE show and I agree watch it next day, can’t wait to listen to the podcasts etc and this episode I was so annoyed but I also kept thinking wow this was the most interesting of the season. Then it ended and I saw it was EPISODE 18!?!?! what did I watch for 17 episodes!!!??? It has been beyond dreadful and boring to watch.
I am out after this season. Right now it is background noise while I work. When I hear someone I like talk, I pay attention. Pretty much just want to hear about Ariana.
I have “quit” quite a few Bravo shows recently. As much as VPR has run its course, I think Bravo has too. There is SO MUCH good tv now. Movie quality tv. That wasn’t around when reality started booming. And Bravo just spends all its time rehashing the same old show.
I absolutely agree. I used to love it because of the restaurant angle and the genuine friendships. The partying reminded me of my old restaurant days. Now … if we wanted scripted, I bet that all of us who worked in restaurants could do a way better job. Using dialog and situations from our food service days.
This show bums me out. I used to really enjoy it but it was bad last season and it is terrible this season. Everyone is just gross. The only person I am fully on board with is Ariana. Everyone else can just peace out. I guess Raquel is okay too. James seems to be the only one actually growing up and I am not sure how much of that is just for the cameras.
Jax seems out of his mind. When he was talking to Britney I thought maybe he was bipolar. He admitted to using adderall to lose weight. And then drinking excessively. My opinion, he is definitely self medicating and he is not addressing his grief or mental issues with a trained professional. NOT a reiki expert, a psychiatrist!
LOL, I forgot about his reiki expert!
I I hope this doesn’t post twice as I’m having trouble posting. As soon as stassi got engaged I stopped watching this show 100%. I’m not about to watch soccer see through this wedding thing. I’m over all the weddings.
I started reading and commenting a few months ago. I loved finding like minded people who watch the same show and have such differing opinions about characters and episodes.
Tamara might not like a show anymore, but she still recaps for us with her added opinions to start the conversations rolling.
Maybe it doesn’t bother her, but I get really pissed off at the people who say they aren’t going to watch anymore or hope it gets cancelled. Fine. That’s your opinion.
Tamara goes to the trouble of recapping for us. Your show hating is taking away from her work.
Your show hating takes the enjoyment away from those of us who have to wade through your crap to read the comments we want to read.
If you don’t like the show, then don’t watch it. Don’t come on here to tell us you aren’t going to watch it because really the rest of us don’t give a shit.
Let us enjoy the show. This includes all the bravo shows. I don’t like summer house so iI i skip those recaps. There is no need to go comment there that i’m not watching the show.
Again, no one gives a shit about that.
Sorry, tamara. I don’t mean to overstep your site b. I stay for the shade. Not the sour bananas.
Get it? That doesn’t make sense either.
😁
Lighten up, Francis! Everyone is entitled to their opinions even if it’s their opinion that the show sucks and they hope it’s nearing its end. So, to clarify… those with that kind of opinion have to wade through your crap and we are polite to not call your comment shit, but you can’t extend the same courtesy? Did I “Get it”?
Maybe you just needed to vent and that’s cool. But it’s poor form to insult other commenters and to my knowledge you haven’t been appointed moderator.
FTR, I’m one that makes comments like you speak of (shocker), but I have been invested in every show and cast member since it’s first episode and I have a right to share my disappointment in the decline of them. It helps in the process of letting go. And I make a point to thank Tamara for her work often. It’s called courtesy and manners.
I find your comment to be rude but seriously probably best to just CHILL. It’s not that serious FFS.