I’m a tiny bit late to the Pump Rule recap tonight because I was watching The Voice results and forgot I was a few minutes behind. Also, I also feel like this show might be on it’s last leg. It’s a shame, it used to be one of my favorites.
Apparently, Scheana made a porno with Brett under the guise of a “music video.” And if that isn’t ridiculous enough for you, Sandoval and Jax took their shoes to a… um….shoe cleaning place. Jax’s credit card was declined for his $122 bill. Really? How can he possibly be over the limit on his credit card? This happens to him all the time. Jax feels the need to join the latest Pump Rules past time and bash Kristen. Then he bashes Ariana…TO SANDOVAL! Basically, he calls Ariana a bitch.
Bitches Here, Bitches There, Bitches, Bitches Everywhere
Brittany and Stassi take their dogs to the dog park. Stassi is already turning into bridezilla. No one is surprised by that. Brittany is having a party and basically asks Stassi if it is okay if Kristen comes. Why does she need Stassi’s permission?
Later, it is clear that Jason has left the building and coked up Jax is back. He’s rude to Scheana and then just starts listing what he hates about everyone else. He seems very…frantic. And sweaty. He seems really obsessed with Tom and Ariana. Especially them buying a house together. Why are people on these shows so obsessed with everyone else’s relationships? Jax mocks Ariana’s depression.
Max organizes a group to do a beach clean up and pick up trash. Kristen shows up and grabs Kristen by the neck and gives her a kiss on the cheek and congratulates her on her engagement. It was awkward. The beach was fairly clean and of course the girls stayed in the clean part rather than down by the water where things wash up. So there wasn’t much of an environmental impact made.
Dayna confronted Brett about making a porn with Scheana. We see way too much footage of the video. It’s a porno. Brett tells Dayna he felt violated by Scheana at times. Really? He says that Scheana offered him a blowjob. I have trouble believing that she wouldn’t have just started giving him one without asking. Jax not only refused to come to the beach clean up but sent a series of ragey texts to Max about what a stupid idea the beach cleanup was. Once again, Brittany is left making excuses for Jax.
The Rage Texts Continue…
After the beach clean up, everyone headed over to Ariana’s dinner party. Sandoval had rage texts from Jax, who was accusing him talking about him to other people. He disinvited him from his pool party on Friday. Then, he sent an even nastier one to Max mocking him for “crying to his wife because he can’t come to his house.” I get it now. The reason his credit cards are declined is because he spent all his money on coke…or whatever the kids are doing these days. Maybe it’s roid rage.
Sandoval wants to throw a counter party at his place on the day of Jax’s pool party. There seems to be some interest from the rest of the group about this. Ariana’s meal looked amazing. Of course Katie had to mock the hostess several times for using rented table and chairs. Katie is such a blob of negativity. Perhaps Jax and Schwartz could swap wives. Schwartz and Brittany would be cute together, don’t you think? After Ariana makes a lovely toast to her friends, the civilized ones thank her for cooking for them. Katie says, “There better be sheet cake for dessert!” She’s such a pig. Max pulls Dayna aside and tells her that it bothers him to see her with Brett because he still has feelings for her. He might have even shared a tear or two. Dayna isn’t sure she believes him.
Popping Off At The Pop Up
Kristen has a pop up shop for her James Mae clothing line. Brett tries to explain to Scheana that he felt violated during the video shoot. He gave several examples of her inappropriate behavior. She replied with, “Yeah, it’s called acting.” I must say, Brett sure looked like he was having a good time. Scheana doubles down on her “job” which is now apparently porn actress. At least she is confident in her abilities. Then she gets mad and has a tantrum and tells Brett she is firing him. Brett points out that he doesn’t work for her, he was doing her a favor.
Jax comes up to Max who is sitting with Sandoval. He seems slightly less maniac. He apologizes to Max for all the rage texts. Jax says he is going through some mental problems and he is angry all of the time. So, I think my final answer is roid rage, Alex. Jax tells Sandoval and Max they can come to his pool party. I’m sure they will jump right on that invitation. It sounds lovely. Sandoval isn’t buying whatever it is Jax is trying to sell.
Then, Jax goes to harass Kristen about some sex tape she made with a guy who is not Carter. Kristen says it was for years ago and Carter knows about it. Also, Carter and Kristen had sex that morning. Jax said Kristen had sex on tape two years ago. Kristen tells us she is lying to Jax because he runs his mouth too much. Jax is of course shouting it from the rooftops in the middle of her pop up shop booth causing a major scene. Because, roid rage. It seems Kristen had already told Brittany and Lala about it. Later back at the house, Brittany cries because the old Jax is back. She had to know this would happen.
LVP told James he could DJ at SUR. At least for one night.
Next time, Sandoval has a pool party at the same time as Jax’s pool party. Which one would you rather go to? Yeah, I think that is everyone else too. Also, I wish people would stop wasting good champagne by spraying it everywhere! Ken and Lisa ask the Toms if they want to invest in a cocktail garden with them. They can buy in and get 10% of profits and once again do all the work for them. The love trial between Dayna, Brett and Max intensifies.