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You are here: Home / Vanderpump Rules / Pump Rules Recap: Til Death Do Us Not Part

Pump Rules Recap: Til Death Do Us Not Part

April 28, 2020 by tamaratattles 39 Comments

Pump Rules RecapI’m going to try to get a decent Pump Rules recap up. Sorry for all of the delayed recaps. I’m back on the struggle bus and doing the best I can. But hey, it’s the episode where Beau makes the worst decision of his life and I am the queen of bad decisions.

You know that commercial about “when your V neck is more of a U neck? That is Beau the morning after his big fight with Stassi over Kristen. Stassi thinks that she and Beau are going “mausoleum shopping.” Is that even a thing? Apparently it is. The proposal was sweet. Who know mausoleums were so pretty? I am not sure we even have mausoleums here.

It’s time for the bashing of Kristen. AGAIN. She is not invited to the party at Lisa’s. Lala is such a fucking cunt. Kristen was the only one who was nice to her when she was the one being shit on. Carter sent Beau a message pointing out that Kristen is the one that introduced them to each other. Stassi just doesn’t get what a horrible person she is.

Family Reunion

Oh wow! Stassi’s whole family has flown in for the party at LVP’s house. It was lovely. I’m not sure what else to say. Brittany had engagement party envy. I miss Kristen. There is literally an empty seat at the table for her. Scheana is basically hitting on Stassi’s brother. I think he is in middle school. What is wrong with her. At least Stassi and Beau seem genuinely happy. Good luck, Beau.

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Meanwhile back a SUR the wait staff are all in the back alley together. Yeah, you don’t all get to take breaks together when waiting tables. I sucked at waiting tables, and even I know this. Brett and Dayna chat. I’m not sure why. I don’t really get the new kids storylines.

Jax and Brittany go over to visit Kristen. Jax apparently has a lawn cutting fetish so he cuts the grass while Brittany comforts Kristen over not being invited to the engagement party.

The Softball Game

It’s time for the big softball game between SUR and Tom Tom. I guess I am Team Tom Tom. LVP looks weird, and kind of um, bigger, in jeans. Scheana is the pitcher for SUR. Shockingly, she played baseball from childhood to high school. I would never have guessed that in a million years. Ariana’s baseball commentary with all the sexual innuendos was funny.  James who is nearly a month sober attempts to make amends with Katie. It was very heartfelt. So, of course Kate was a royal bitch to him. Because, Katie. Charli also has softball experience.

Click Here For More Pump Rules Recaps

SUR begins to take a commanding lead in the softball game and tempers are getting high. There is a lot of trash talking and rule breaking and general pandemonium. Sandoval is  trying to enforce his own personal set of rules on the game. Rules that benefit Team Tom Tom an umpire can’t be a player. He is also screaming at all his teammates. I hope they show him scrubbing toilets. I like him but he is doing the most right now. Raquel has a great hit, but for some reason she forgets to run and when she does she seems to think she is in a ballet class and the lesson is jeté.  SUR wins by a landslide. Ariana throws a bat in anger and it bounces up and hits her in the face. OUCH! Next week looks dramatic!

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Filed Under: Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: Ariana Madix, Brett Caprioni, Brittany Cartwright, Brittany Cartwright-Cauchi, Charli Burnett, Danica Dow, Dayna Kathan, James Kennedy, Jax Taylor, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, Kristen Doute, Lala Kent, Lisa Vanderpump, Max Boyens, Pump Rules, Raquel Leviss, Scheana Shay, Stassi Schroeder, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Vanderpump Rules

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. therealdeb says

    April 29, 2020 at 12:49 am

    I loved how Dayna was smack talking Max and his spaghetti arms. Cracked me up. The guys on this show are all way too skinny, I don’t see what’s so hot about them. And Scheana can play some softball, proud of that girl. Beau is a good guy, I hope Stassi realizes what she has.

    Reply
    • Karen says

      April 30, 2020 at 1:07 am

      I’m pissed at the way Kristen is being treated even know I don’t like her. Stassi is a real bitch. She has forgotten how desperately she tried to get back in the group. I think beau is a dumbass for wanting to marry her. Is this going to be the whole season next time? So over the damned weddings already. Now we have hers and Lala’s to deal with. It’s just not fun anymore. I agree about these new guys. No appeal to them at all. Jax and Brit are B O R I N G. Kattie is a Debbie downer all the time. I love that Raquel has found her voice. You go, Raquel! Lala acts like she is God’s gift to everyone now. Sit down, Lala
      Thanks TT

      Reply
  2. Lizbone ☠️ says

    April 29, 2020 at 1:24 am

    Oh my God, am watching now.
    Beau looks EXACTLY like that guy.
    And now I’m in craving Annie’s mac&cheese!

    Reply
  3. SD says

    April 29, 2020 at 3:31 am

    Beau looked so happy after the proposal. Poor guy.

    I’m not a fan of destination weddings, especially not in another country. Have a destination honeymoon, but have your wedding where your friends and family can attend. They don’t want to use their vacation time going to *your* wedding. And don’t make the expense be a hurdle.

    Reply
    • 4paz says

      April 29, 2020 at 9:55 am

      My daughter’s friend did this — she had a wedding in Mazatlan and then complained because no one attended. Dumb.

      Beau is a fool. The way Stassi treats EVERYONE should be a clue, but he is dumb in love. Poor dude.

      Reply
  4. boo says

    April 29, 2020 at 4:02 am

    omg she is going to be even more annoying now! beau is making a huge mistake but then again, he loves being on TV and he is thirsty with no backbone, so good luck to them!

    Reply
  5. Smitters (@CountryDiva10) says

    April 29, 2020 at 8:36 am

    Beau and Stassi are perfect for each other. They both love the cameras. hoping Bravo does not give them a wedding.
    Katie is always a sour puss. Lala isnt the Lala I used to have a soft spot for.
    Jax and Britt are blah.
    I feel bad for Kristen, they are all mean girls at times, but Lala and Stassi are particularly vicious.
    Yay for James and his sobriety.

    Reply
    • TAM says

      April 29, 2020 at 1:26 pm

      I agree with all of this!

      Reply
      • MelG says

        April 29, 2020 at 4:36 pm

        Me too.

        Reply
  6. Betsey says

    April 29, 2020 at 8:49 am

    What Stassi is doing to Kristen is just WRONG. I am happy Carter called them out. Who gives a crap if it was “Stassi’s” day. She is being so cruel!

    Loved watching the softball game. Scheana’s pitching was impressive and I loved hearing about her Grandmother playing baseball! Scheana needs to stick to this rough and tough side she has. It is way more becoming.

    What’s so great about Dayna? These guys are fighting over her. She’s a cool chick, but I can’t help but think her love triangle is pure storyline.

    Reply
    • TAM says

      April 29, 2020 at 1:30 pm

      Totally agree about Stassi’s behavior with Kristen. OK Kristen is rather crazy, but she has calmed down and been BFFs with Stassi and Katie since the beginning. Get Lala and Rand out of there! Reclaim the friendship!

      Reply
  7. Ktina says

    April 29, 2020 at 9:01 am

    For the first time I was impressed with Schaena and then to hear that her aunt was a Rockford Peach? Wow!

    Beau will be reduced to a shell of a man if he stays with that life sucking princess. Kristen introduced them and she didn’t do anything to Stassi or Katie except be with a man that was using her. I actually feel bad for her. They’re being mean for no reason. If Beau thinks that Stassi won’t ever act like that raving lunatic at the party, he’s sorely mistaken but he loves being on camera so I hope it was worth it.

    I cannot handle Lala after what she said at that girl’s wine party so I’m done with the whore. Why didn’t any of them call her out on how horrible she was to Rachel? Does she not get that people are sucking up to her because her ugly and old boyfriend has money? Isn’t she from freaking Iowa or Utah? Didn’t realize that there were gansta bitches there. She’s such a wannabe. I would have ripped her to pieces if she ever talked to me like that but I digress.

    It was cute when Jax was mowing the lawn; made him a bit likeable but I see next week that Brittany’s version of marriage is much different than Jax’s. Brittany, run!!!!!!!!! Don’t have children with him!!!! He’s a man boy and once you have a child and that child becomes number one he will resent you because you’re not paying as much attention to him.

    Reply
    • 4paz says

      April 29, 2020 at 9:58 am

      Lala is insufferable. I hope Emmet/Randall/”my man” leaves her ass.

      Reply
      • Ktina says

        April 29, 2020 at 1:03 pm

        So do I but I don’t think he will. I mean, look at her. My husband couldn’t talk after he saw her enviable rear on the show last night. Men are dogs.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          April 29, 2020 at 6:25 pm

          Yeah, you gotta admit, that was a nice looking ass.

          Reply
          • 4paz says

            April 29, 2020 at 9:48 pm

            Who ever saw such a thing? I’m betting deal with the devil. ?

            Reply
  8. Karen Bruce says

    April 29, 2020 at 11:03 am

    Yes ma’am, in south Louisiana, it’s a customary thing to plan for one’s burial place, because it requires a tomb above the ground. Mausoleums are a common thing here. My husband and i were in our late 20’s when we bought our burial spots within a large mausoleum. Its not at all unusual to see Stassi wanting to shop for a mausoleum, especially with her obsession with ghosts, the dead, etc. In New Orleans, Marie Laveaux, the queen of witches of New orleans, is buried in one of the oldest cemeteries in New Orleans. Google her name, and you can see her tomb, with black X’s drawn all over it. It’s said that she haunts the cemetary , still to this day. I’m from a small Cajun town, an hour drive south of New orleans. I have family members that live in New Orleans, and i grew up visiting them, and being enthralled with the history and the ghosts that inhabit the city. I’m 68 years old, and still very interested in the supernatural. I attribute my interests to the unique city of New Orleans.

    Reply
    • LaLaFly says

      April 29, 2020 at 7:50 pm

      You and I share a love of New Orleans. I’m just not as close to the beautiful decadence. Stay safe and healthy in South Louisiana. I know y’all are being hit hard from the virus and it doesn’t help that Mississippi opened up too soon.

      Reply
    • Nanette says

      April 30, 2020 at 1:13 pm

      One of my favorite episodes of Parts Unknown was the one where Anthony Bourdain visits a small Cajun village. I wanted to be with those people. I’ve been fascinated with New Orleans since seeing a Disney World of Color of Mardi Gras floats largely because of the (glass, back then) beads they tossed. Then we have the Dave Robecheaux detective stories, Anne Rice (and her house) and Julie Smith series. The Chicken Man. The Indians, the a Wild Tchopatoulas and the FOOD.

      We had a second line at Mom’s memorial. She told my sister and I that was the only thing besides good food she wanted at her funeral and nearby us there was a band that does that. Best memorial I’ve ever been to. Even though it was about 100-degrees as we marched around the Dollar Estate.

      I find MOST EVERYTHING about NOLA magical — except the bitches on SC: NOLA and Stassi being born there.

      Reply
  9. IJC says

    April 29, 2020 at 11:35 am

    Even quarantine is not enough to make me want to go back to watching the Bravo bullshit. Sorry but Beau must have his own issues if he picked Stassi as a life partner… and I’m pretty sure that he is also marrying the dark passenger as the dark passenger will indeed make another appearance when he least expects it. He can’t say he wasn’t warned.

    Lala, I.Just.Can’t. A badass that still drinks from a baby bottle? She needs to fuck the fuck off. How you get them is how you lose them. Just saying.

    Umm, yay for James and a month of sobriety. I actually do hope this kid gets real help as I always had a soft spot for him with his shit mom etc.

    Scheana, omg it’s so pathetic and sad.

    Thanks for recaps because I cannot watch this shit myself anymore and I have zero clue about any of the new people as well as zero desire to get to know them. Seems it’s just rinse, lather repeat from original format. And I hope the older ones aren’t on here having grandchildren! And I can only imagine how many eyerolling scenes there are with LVP since her RHOBH departure. Talk about desperate!

    Reply
    • LakeCarly says

      April 29, 2020 at 1:31 pm

      Completely agree with you about this show. Haven’t watched for at least several weeks. The new people are boring and the old people are too old to be behaving the way they do. I just found myself tuning out. Admittedly, I will return for Stassi’s wedding–gotta see the dress, etc. In the meantime, what IS entertaining are these recaps and comments so thanks, TT and everyone, for that!

      Reply
  10. Amanda says

    April 29, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    Why didn’t Beau have any family there? I was especially surprised by this given his mother filmed several scenes last season.

    Reply
    • SD says

      April 29, 2020 at 4:40 pm

      Yes, good question.

      Reply
    • Kiki26 says

      April 30, 2020 at 8:22 am

      Very good question. Where is this thirsty boy from?

      Reply
  11. Amber Whitmire says

    April 29, 2020 at 1:07 pm

    I thought I saw them label a guy as Beau dad and fiance. I will have to go back and look.

    Stassi and Katie actually talked about the fall out with Kristen on Stassi podcast last week. Apparently last year behind scenes Kristen had told Stassi and Katie she wanted viewers to really see what was going on in her & Carter relationship but she did not want to be the one bringing it up on camera. So Stassi & Katie agreed to bring it up and than they would talk about it. When the cameras rolled Kristen did a 180 & accused them of being bad friends. Instead of confronting her and asking her why they retreated and cut her off. They both admitted they handled it wrong.

    In other news Tamara thank you so much in the effort you put into writing these recaps. I am so sorry you are rough through a hard time during this quarantine. I feel like I am on a yoyo. One day I am high and excited & going to be as productive as sh*t and then the next three days I want to lay in bed & cry. I know these shows are frivolous and stupid but I appreciate the catty to get me away from serious life and I REALLY appreciate the effort you make on this board.

    Reply
    • Mmmmmia says

      May 5, 2020 at 3:05 am

      Wow. Okay if this is true, this all does make much more sensitive. They still are taking things too far, but she may have put them in a terrible position. I wish we were privy to all the behind the scenes machinations of these conflicts. It would make these shows much richer.

      Reply
  12. TAM says

    April 29, 2020 at 1:28 pm

    Beau seems really good for Stassi- hopefully? LVP is in so many scenes now, she truly misses camera time of RHOBH. I am happy for James and wishing him well. Loved seeing Scheana in her sports element- she was great and confident. Ariana was funny in her narration. It was kind of great to see the two teams together playing a game. 🙂

    Reply
    • memyselfandi says

      April 29, 2020 at 3:43 pm

      I used to think Beau was good for Stassi, but the last two episodes make me think his love for her building her confidence back up has enabled her to revert back to the mean girl she was when this show started. Maybe she really belonged with that self-absorbed condescending jerkwad Patrick, who was just as much of an a-hole as she is.

      Reply
      • boo says

        April 29, 2020 at 10:02 pm

        SO TRUE!

        Reply
  13. Terri says

    April 29, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    Spot on recap, Tamara. I must have really enjoyed the show last night because the hour went very quickly. My two favorite scenes were Brittany being jealous that the engagement party was at Lisa’s and hers was just at their apartment, and the eye rolling Stassi’s little brother was doing when Scheana was hitting on him. I kept expecting him to tell her he’s only 12 or 13. I switched channels before the previews so I’m not sure what to expect next week.

    Reply
  14. boo says

    April 29, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    i needed to add: i haven’t watched this show and have just been reading TTs recaps till last night.

    lettttt me telll you, jax, britanny, lala and stassi annoy the fuck out of me!!! especially jax! i can’t with that sandoval hating, STD walking old/immature man!

    stassi to me is very cringeworthy – acts like a spoiled child, manipulative, throws tantrums, thinks everyone she knows should hate people she hates and is just not a good person.

    katie is a bitch too and a follower.

    schwartz – is he capable of doing ANYTHING?

    that’s right, isn’t beau supposed to be close to his mom? why wasn’t she there? hmmm.

    kristen needs to forget those 2 “friends” they looooove seeing her miserable.

    i love james, sandoval tho he is a bit much at times at least he has a good heart and i love ariana!

    im not sure if dayna is acting but i feel like there is something shady about her, hopefully i’m wrong.

    charli is an airhead but at least she isn’t trying hard to be liked by others.

    lisa in those jeans, yikes!! i think she has a huge crush on brett and will likely be around more to check him out – omg i just puked in my mouth!

    Reply
  15. Jill W says

    April 29, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    I loved Raquel’s talking head during the softball game after Jax threw that underhanded compliment. Dick. 🙂

    Here’s what drives me insane. Stassi has been pressuring Beau to propose for who knows how long. No subtle hinting (as if Stassi could do subtle), but full on trying to dictate that he propose.

    Then, Beau proposes, and Stassi puts on her best surprised face and acts totally caught off guard and shocked. Really? All that begging and bossing and then you’re shocked when it happens? Please.

    I feel so badly for Kristen.

    Has anyone noticed that originally, Stassi and Katie were clear that what they were mad at was the way Kristen was handling her relationship with Carter. Then, when Stassi and Katie seemed to start getting some heat, they suddenly shifted their story to say that it isn’t only about Carter but some other big issue(s) as well. I feel like their story keeps changing based on other peoples’ reactions/opinions. Maybe it’s just me. Either way, they are being so cruel and obnoxious.

    I hope that Kristen stops trying to get them to let her back in and decides that SHE doesn’t want THEM in HER life.

    Reply
  16. memyselfandi says

    April 29, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    Kristen needs to get more of a storyline than just Katie and Stassi and Lala being brats to her and boring Katie needs to be backburnered. So sick of her sourpuss act all the time.

    Lala seems like a dry drunk. That’s the thing where a person stops drinking and they are extra mean after, right?

    The Scheana scenes with Stassi’s younger bro were so awkward. Did anyone see her recent appearance on WWHL? She was on with her current boyfriend she is quarantining with who was kind of a Jason Momoa knockoff.

    Reply
  17. BeeSmart says

    April 29, 2020 at 4:50 pm

    I was yelling at Scheana to stop hitting on children!! He looked very uncomfortable.

    Reply
    • Kiki26 says

      April 30, 2020 at 8:28 am

      I felt terrible for Stassi’s brother. Thinking of how cringe-worthy puberty is already. ….now you have a filmed clip of a 30 something woman hitting on you for the archives of your life.

      Reply
  18. Devin says

    April 29, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    I missed this episode so thanks so much for the great recap. I don’t disclose much about myself usually but Beau’s relationship with Stassi is plain scary. I have lived the life he is headed for and it has been very difficult. He will never make her happy because she is not happy with herself. It will haunt him. I hope that I am dead wrong. It could all be just for ratings.

    Reply
  19. Johanna Weaver says

    April 30, 2020 at 12:19 am

    I’ve always had a soft spot for Kristen. Stassi is being unfathomably cruel to her for no reason at all. I couldn’t disagree more when people excuse Stassi and Katie for their treatment of her by saying oh they are just ending a toxic friendship and all that. That is a bunch of bullshit that is supposed to excuse their awfulness. They’ve all fought and forgiven each other so many times and it’s so much more than that, VPR is their job. They are going out of their way to not include her knowing very well it will likely get her kicked off the show.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 30, 2020 at 4:43 am

      totally agree. and Kristen is way more likable that those two.

      Reply
  20. LA_in_KY says

    April 30, 2020 at 11:16 am

    If Jax and Brittany ever have that baby they have talking about, he will be the ultimate mommy shamer that ever existed.

    Reply

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