You guys, it’s Summer House Recap Wednesday! I am not too enthused for this episode. I’m kind of pissed off at the moment to be honest. Beau, from VanderPump Rules, isn’t happy with fans of the show who are telling him to RUN after last night’s awful Stassi meltdown. Kyle, who I really came around to, “liked” it. I just don’t have the patience for this nonsense anymore. How about this Beau: GET OFF THE SHOW. You could have totally pulled a ‘married but sleeping with Lala’ Randall and not film. Or, you could have been Carter and just showed up sporadically. But NO. You like the cameras, you like the “fame” only when it’s positive. It doesn’t work like that. So grow up and KEEP SCROLLING OR IGNORE IT. No one needs to hear you whine while typing from your brand new fucking mansion funded by the fans who keep VPR on the air.
Kyle, you like him hitting back at people with common sense who comment on a show he CHOOSES to be on? Huh? How about you get your shit show of a relationship off the show then? Stop going to that gorgeous Hamptons house, stop using it to pimp your LoverBoy and live camera/judgement free. NO? Doesn’t appeal to either one of you? SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN. There is too much real stuff happening to indulge in these fools in their real lives. End rant. On to the show!
I Wish Carl Was Socially Distant From My TV Screen
Hannah gives some Luke updates: She tells Paige, Lindsay and Jules that she told Luke they should just be friends. Luke tells Carl that he has feelings for Hannah but just wants to do right by her. Carl and Jules hung out in the city as well. Ugh. Luke, Carl and Kyle guy talk before dinner while Amanda and Paige eavesdrop. Luke says he wants Hannah in his bed and hooking up over the weekend. Carl and Kyle salivate. Amanda doesn’t like Luke. She overlooks her fiance’ yukking it up with him though.
Kyle says he’s hooking up with his ex Kirsten. Amanda and Paige run to tell Hannah and Jules what the guys said. Hannah says she won’t be hooking up with Luke. We’ll see. On the ride to dinner Luke tells Kyle and crew that he had sex a week ago. Jules wants to know why he wouldn’t have sex with Hannah. Luke says it’s because he cares about her and didn’t want to hurt her. Which makes sense. Paige asks to hear about Carl’s love life. He slept with an ex girlfriend Kirsten. That’s news to Lindsay. She tells him that sleeping with a girl won’t solve his problems. Jules then tells Hannah that Luke slept with another girl. Paige and Amanda get activated.
Amanda Will Cut You If You Mess With Her Friends
Amanda is livid. Hannah is not. Luke feels super ganged up on. He got snarky with Paige which Hannah won’t stand for. Hannah takes him outside. She tells him that it’s not cool to speak to her friends like that. He tells her that their pressure contributed to him not wanting to hook up with Hannah. When they get home from that dinner, Carl and Paige hit the hot tub. They talk the entire night with zero hooking up. Thank God.
The next morning Paige grills Jules, who tells her that she and Carl just talked all night. Paige wishes her luck because Lindsay will lose her shit if something more happens. They all go apple picking. Carl encourages Luke to apologize to the girls. Paige tells Lindsay about Jules and Carl spending a non sexual night together. Lindsay takes it well.
Luke asks to speak to Paige and Amanda off to the side. He apologizes to both of them. Amanda isn’t having it. She tells him that he’s being controlling and manipulative with Hannah. Amanda tells him that he gets mad when Hannah flirts with other guys, that’s controlling. He says that he’s joking but Amanda isn’t buying what he’s selling. She goes HARD on him. So hard that Luke gets fed up and walks away. Say whatever you want about Amanda, say it’s deflection or maybe it’s what she would like someone to do for her with Kyle. I see both sides of this but Luke lost that round. Amanda won, while winning a bit of my heart and respect along with it.
Hannah Is Only Thinking About Luke’s Banana
Hannah just wants everyone to chill. She thinks Amanda is jealous of her and Luke. That would be a hard no, Hannah. Carl and Jules go pick up take out from a Lobster place. I want lobster. And steamers. Sigh. Amanda and Kyle have a cute romantic moment while the others talk outside over a fire. Luke takes Hannah aside again. Luke tells Hannah that he has feelings for her but he has to be alone right now. Hannah melts. They kiss but won’t tell the others. This won’t end well. Hannah and Luke go back to his room after Paige falls asleep. Nothing is sexier than having sex with a guy who had sex with someone a week ago. Amiright ladies? Loud sex at that. Ewe. Amanda thinks it’s Jules and Carl lol. Lindsay tells her it’s not Carl and Jules, as they are in the hot tub.. Amanda is disappointed. Kyle can’t believe it. End scene.
Next week on Summer House: Kyle and Amanda pick a venue and wedding date. Luke roasts Kyle for cheating. Carl and Danielle hook up. Hannah, Amanda and Paige argue about Luke. I’m sorry this was an angry blog guys. I’m usually nicer than this but it is what it is. These are weird times. I hope y’all are doing well, staying healthy and safe. See you in the comments!