BY: POPCULTUREKELLYYou guys, it’s Summer House Recap Wednesday! I am not too enthused for this episode. I’m kind of pissed off at the moment to be honest. Beau, from VanderPump Rules, isn’t happy with fans of the show who are telling him to RUN after last night’s awful Stassi meltdown. Kyle, who I really came around to, “liked” it. I just don’t have the patience for this nonsense anymore. How about this Beau: GET OFF THE SHOW. You could have totally pulled a ‘married but sleeping with Lala’ Randall and not film. Or, you could have been Carter and just showed up sporadically. But NO. You like the cameras, you like the “fame” only when it’s positive. It doesn’t work like that. So grow up and KEEP SCROLLING OR IGNORE IT. No one needs to hear you whine while typing from your brand new fucking mansion funded by the fans who keep VPR on the air.
Kyle, you like him hitting back at people with common sense who comment on a show he CHOOSES to be on? Huh? How about you get your shit show of a relationship off the show then? Stop going to that gorgeous Hamptons house, stop using it to pimp your LoverBoy and live camera/judgement free. NO? Doesn’t appeal to either one of you? SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN. There is too much real stuff happening to indulge in these fools in their real lives. End rant. On to the show!
I Wish Carl Was Socially Distant From My TV Screen
Hannah gives some Luke updates: She tells Paige, Lindsay and Jules that she told Luke they should just be friends. Luke tells Carl that he has feelings for Hannah but just wants to do right by her. Carl and Jules hung out in the city as well. Ugh. Luke, Carl and Kyle guy talk before dinner while Amanda and Paige eavesdrop. Luke says he wants Hannah in his bed and hooking up over the weekend. Carl and Kyle salivate. Amanda doesn’t like Luke. She overlooks her fiance’ yukking it up with him though.
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Kyle says he’s hooking up with his ex Kirsten. Amanda and Paige run to tell Hannah and Jules what the guys said. Hannah says she won’t be hooking up with Luke. We’ll see. On the ride to dinner Luke tells Kyle and crew that he had sex a week ago. Jules wants to know why he wouldn’t have sex with Hannah. Luke says it’s because he cares about her and didn’t want to hurt her. Which makes sense. Paige asks to hear about Carl’s love life. He slept with an ex girlfriend Kirsten. That’s news to Lindsay. She tells him that sleeping with a girl won’t solve his problems. Jules then tells Hannah that Luke slept with another girl. Paige and Amanda get activated.
Amanda Will Cut You If You Mess With Her Friends
Amanda is livid. Hannah is not. Luke feels super ganged up on. He got snarky with Paige which Hannah won’t stand for. Hannah takes him outside. She tells him that it’s not cool to speak to her friends like that. He tells her that their pressure contributed to him not wanting to hook up with Hannah. When they get home from that dinner, Carl and Paige hit the hot tub. They talk the entire night with zero hooking up. Thank God.
The next morning Paige grills Jules, who tells her that she and Carl just talked all night. Paige wishes her luck because Lindsay will lose her shit if something more happens. They all go apple picking. Carl encourages Luke to apologize to the girls. Paige tells Lindsay about Jules and Carl spending a non sexual night together. Lindsay takes it well.
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Luke asks to speak to Paige and Amanda off to the side. He apologizes to both of them. Amanda isn’t having it. She tells him that he’s being controlling and manipulative with Hannah. Amanda tells him that he gets mad when Hannah flirts with other guys, that’s controlling. He says that he’s joking but Amanda isn’t buying what he’s selling. She goes HARD on him. So hard that Luke gets fed up and walks away. Say whatever you want about Amanda, say it’s deflection or maybe it’s what she would like someone to do for her with Kyle. I see both sides of this but Luke lost that round. Amanda won, while winning a bit of my heart and respect along with it.
Hannah Is Only Thinking About Luke’s Banana
Hannah just wants everyone to chill. She thinks Amanda is jealous of her and Luke. That would be a hard no, Hannah. Carl and Jules go pick up take out from a Lobster place. I want lobster. And steamers. Sigh. Amanda and Kyle have a cute romantic moment while the others talk outside over a fire. Luke takes Hannah aside again. Luke tells Hannah that he has feelings for her but he has to be alone right now. Hannah melts. They kiss but won’t tell the others. This won’t end well. Hannah and Luke go back to his room after Paige falls asleep. Nothing is sexier than having sex with a guy who had sex with someone a week ago. Amiright ladies? Loud sex at that. Ewe. Amanda thinks it’s Jules and Carl lol. Lindsay tells her it’s not Carl and Jules, as they are in the hot tub.. Amanda is disappointed. Kyle can’t believe it. End scene.
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Next week on Summer House: Kyle and Amanda pick a venue and wedding date. Luke roasts Kyle for cheating. Carl and Danielle hook up. Hannah, Amanda and Paige argue about Luke. I’m sorry this was an angry blog guys. I’m usually nicer than this but it is what it is. These are weird times. I hope y’all are doing well, staying healthy and safe. See you in the comments!
Thank you for your blog ! This is one of the few shows I still watch. Ugh, don’t make me agree with Lindsay. Hannah and Luke just need to figure it out. Paige really contributes nothing and is keeping her relationship conveniently off camera. She is funny but why do her and Amanda have such strong feelings about Luke? I ❤️ the Hamptons !
Thank you for reading!!! Haha I agree with Lindsay but I also see why the girls are protective of Hannah. I think they’re afraid he may be using her to be on the show like Jordan did to Jules. Just a thought. Paige is funny but man is she a gossip!! She fossils and stirs the pot. I want to see more Perry. What he’s all about. I ❤️the Hamptons too!!!!
I NEED TO READ THE COMMENTING RULES!
https://tamaratattles.com/commenting-rules/
Wow, that’s harsh! I like Hannah. And I see what she sees in Luke. That man is too sexy to ignore. I do agree that sex with the door open was very tacky, but I think they’re both exhibitionists to a degree. She definitely has an ego, but look at what she’s accomplished in real life. And she’s chosen to be on a “reality” TV show. I like her. She’s not the type you typically see on these shows.
I think Amanda was WAY over the top in her rage at Luke. I get that she sees in him, and dislikes, what she dislikes in Kyle…what she perceives as his cheating ways. She never, that we saw, screamed at Kyle with that much rage. So she’s taking it out on Luke. I think it has very little to do with her protecting Hannah.
I think Hannah has the right mindset about her relationship with Luke. First, she just REALLY wanted to get laid. Second, she’s playing with him. And she’s playing him pretty well. I don’t get that she has any thoughts about him being her “forever man.” They may both end up getting hurt. I say, go for it, Hannah!
Deb I agree! She’s young, he’s hot, it’s summer. Get it guuuurl!!!!
Oh God, do I want to know????
I think Paige is either a closet lesbian or just very self centred with her girl friends and acts like the concerned friend, but it’s just a passive aggressive method to be the center of attention. It’s like she has created this fantasy in her mind of living like the t.v. show, Sex in the City.( recap to other season where wants Amanda to move in with her)Herself, Amanda, and Hanna are the cast! Past history she already tried interfering with Amanda and Kyle’s relationship. Called Kyle down, gave Amanda the keys to her apartment. Now It’s Hanna that has become her target, again with the interfering on a relationship, instead of letting Luke/Hanna take their course naturally, she tries to shred it. Only what is up with Amanda jumping in on it too??? Is she resentful that Luke was called the most good looking guy in the room during Lindsay’s Bday party?! Or that she does secretly have a lust on for him!? As well
I believe Lindsay is a good friend to Kyle and Carle, Amanda wants that destroyed, Paige is her side kick in this attempt to rip it apart.
Someone please tell me what Luke was doing to Hannah during sex that would cause her to say “ don’t break my boob”. I’m soooo confused!
Lol! I was trying to picture that too. Ouch!
I think it’s best we don’t know ?
I ate up every word of your recap like the Phish Phood I can’t seem to get my hands on! ?
I don’t mind a bit of aggression right now.
It is theraputic!
I’ve always fallen for guys like Carl.
One even named Carl! ?
Keep watching and writing, Pop Culture Kelly Taylor! ?
-Ms Liz ?
Haha thank you!!!! It was cathartic I must confess ? Oh God you had an actual
Carl!??? I definitely dated guys like Carl as well. Live and learn. Thank you so much, especially for the 90210 reference! ❤️❤️
Jules seems hard up and easy at the same time.
I want a friend like Hannah.
Paige and Amanda need to fix their own shit and not worry about others.
Agreed
PCK, I did not watch the show but I’m confused. Did Carl hit the hot tub with Paige… Or did u mean Jules???? Makes more sense if it was Jules. Btw. Looooove ur recaps !!!!!
Awww thank you!!! It was Jules. Where did I say it was Paige? Rage blogging is no joke, I probably confused a lot of things so I apologize! I read it back and I see Jules in the hot tub but I could be wrong. Thank you for reading!!!!
Yea. It was at the end of the “Amanda will cut you” first paragraph. Then u said they didn’t hook up—so I figured it was Jules. But with this group one never knows….????. Thanks again for all the great recaps. Really look forward to them. ???
I m an Jules and Paige kind of look similar.
They really do Maria!!! I would give anything to be half as beautiful as either of them
Oh jeez, good catch!!! I’m
Sorry. It was definitely Jules. I think Paige would have to have it deeply sanitized before getting in. And have the hot tub sanitized as well ? Thank you so much for reading!!!
LOFL. After reading the rant, I had to go back and make sure it was YOU, PCK. That was a good one; I thought it was the “master.” I, too, started liking Kyle this season. The only thing I liked before was his Steve Jobs comment to Stassi. Now … not so much.
The price of Loverboy is pretty steep — but I know how expensive monk fruit sweetener is. Between the price of the new Spritz (no monk fruit) and the stupid name of Loverboy, Kyle is deluding himself. They justify the price by comparing the price to what you would pay in a bar. Not factoring in the ambiance and “waited on” experience of a bar/restaurant setting, which factors in to the price. Amanda may be a good graphic designer, but I’d like to know what marketing “team,” probably Kyle, team of one, decided Loverboy was a good name. Can you imagine the average GUY drinking from a can with a giant “Loverboy” on the side? How many gay women want to order a Loverboy? How many STRAIGHT women? Not many. Clueless.
Amanda’s anger at Luke… I think in part it is fueled by the hurt she felt when Kyle cheated. She doesn’t want that for Hannah.
There’s our MVP! ❤️ hahaha it was me. I just had it for whatever reason ? It did feel good I can’t lie!!! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in trying it. And if they sent me free samples I would happily give it a whirl! But you’re right, between the price point and the name, I don’t see it become the next White Claw. That’s not a great name either honestly but I digress. He’s I totally think Amanda was projecting big time onto Luke. For other people it’s not but for me that’s a deal breaker. If my now husband had cheated before we got married, he would now be with her or someone else because NOPE. I personally couldn’t marry a man I couldn’t trust in a bar for a few hours. To each their own but it doesn’t seem like Amanda can either.
Another week of Carl being a turnoff. Lindsay, you need to continue fixing yourself before offering Carl fix-it advice. Not sure why you would hang out 5 days of the week with Carl. Cut the cord and let him grow up. I love Paige and her gossiping. She can be critical but she is not a meanie. She doesn’t make it personal. Amanda and Paige should be yelling at Hannah not Luke. Actually, it’s not of their business. Say your piece and let Hannah get hurt/enjoy her life. I agree with Lindsay on that. Hannah, I’m sorry to hear you say that Luke’s lack of sex with you makes you feel rejected. Remember, it’s not always about you. I can’t quite figure out Amanda. Nice enough but I’m puzzled by her interactions with Kyle. Every episode the following takes place:
Kyle: I love you
Amanda: You do love me, don’t you
Later
Kyle: You look pretty Amanda
Amanda: I do, don’t I
When you hear it the first time, it’s funny. When you hear it from her every weekend, either she cannot express her feelings or she doesn’t want to give Kyle words to make him feel loved and appreciated. I don’t think she is ready to be vulnerable. The age difference is detrimental to their relationship even though Kyle is rather immature. He has said that he wants kids and for Amanda to stay home and care for the kids. I think she would be miserable.
For all we know, Luke and Hannah faked the sex to tease everyone in the house. Probably didn’t but that would explain the extra loud noises and open bedroom door. If it wasn’t faked then they’re kind of crude.
Loverboy has a website that in addition to selling the canned drinks, they sell baseball hats, t shirts and sweatshirts. $32 for a baseball cap. I wouldn’t wear loverboy merchandise but it would be cute on my boy dog. But he’d have to save up his allowance.
Lokie with the spot on analysis!! I have to be honest, I will be watching Amanda and Kyles interactions more closely because I never picked up on that. You make perfect sense in why she would be speaking to him like that. She’s not over the betrayal, clearly. I just wish they wouldn’t go through with the wedding. It just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. That actually would be cute for a pup!!! Or a toddler. That’s where the cute ends ?
Well, pretty much all of the weddings are cancelled for the forseeable future anyway.
I’m not sure if it’s this year or next they’re planning for. For their sake I hope it was for this year so they can save themselves worlds of pain!