I was not going to do a Shahs of Sunset recap tonight and was watching other things then I remembered that they are in Hawaii. So I’m off to a late start, let’s get straight to it. I love a good Bravo trip episode. I think it is hysterical that production wants people to believe that Mike Shouhed rented this mansion for everyone. Two minutes in and I already know more about Nema’s privates than I would like. The gang has to choose between two promotional activities this morning, surfing or a bee farm. Honey farm? Apiary? Whatever. I’d park my fat ass in that house and hang in the pool and walk on the beach. As soon as I typed that sentence I looked up and there was MJ’s naked fat ass in all of it’s glory.
Just Let Me Bee!
Golnesa gets on the van with Reza, Nema and Mike to, as MJ says, “go play with bees.” Golnesa wants them all to tell he what kind of kisser they are. It seems GG is in some sort of sexual drought. She’s probably bang Nema tonight. Mike tries to get GG and Nema to kiss. See? That didn’t take long. I thought they had already kissed and hooked up but they both deny it. They give each other a peck. Nema is pleased. Golnesa said if Nema has more lip and less teeth it would have been better.
Sherv goes with the girls to take a surfing lesson. Mercedeh is wearing the world’s tiniest thong with black fishnet pants? Stockings? She is basically nekkid. Everyone attempts to surf except for Destiney and Sara who just straddle a surfboard and bob around the ocean trying not to get their hair wet. The bee thing was stupid. Oh wait, they are going to make honeycomb candles. The surfers get home first and MJ talks to Paulina about Mike’s controlling behavior with women and how she is glad she married a white boy. Girl, what is the point of this conversation? Stop stirring the shit. Paulina texts Mike and he makes everyone race home to see what horrible thing MJ has done to Paulina. Sigh.
Yet Another Pig Arrives On The Property
Reza tries to give Mercedeh a heads up about the wrath of Mike. MJ plays stupid. Paulina is such a little whiner. Mike comes for MJ. Also, I am so sick of Golnesa trying to take the moral high ground. This is a ridiculous fight. Golnesa runs off to trash MJ to Paulina. This is like a never ending drama. MJ goes to talk to Paulina and it seems like they make up just a few hours after Paulina texted Mike that “MJ is fucking foul.” I really think Paulina overreacted. This certainly is not a reason to text your boyfriend who is filming a TV show and screw things up. It could have waited.
Oh shut the fuck up, Destiney. You are the crazy one. The Jewish boyfriend allegedly through a traditional Hawaiian luau replete with a whole roasted pig for his Jewish girlfriend’s birthday party. The writers for this show did not think that through. Is pot legal in Hawaii now? No. No it is not. Nonetheless, Golnesa has apparently either purchased some there or more likely brought hers with her. And she is terrified by the fire twirlers. Mike tries to push Nema and Golnesa into bed together. But it gets sidetracked when Reza makes negative comments about Nema’s former girlfriend. All of these gossipy, nosy bitches very sensitive. Nema apparently isn’t ready to give up all the other women in the world for a relationship. At least he knows that.
Golnesa Gets Rejected
This birthday party just keeps getting weirder. Paulina fits right in with her shit stirring though. She has everyone write down on a card something they are too afraid to say to someone else. Then they read the cards anonymously and burn them in the fire. Do we really not have enough drama for this episode Ryan Seacrest Productions? Is this all to start up the R Kelly storyline? Apparently, so. Later, Golnesa tried to hook up with Nema in the hot tub. But he refused to go all the way because she was drunk out of her mind. Both Golnesa and Nema so production with paper dolls what happened in the jacuzzi.
Next week, the honeymoon is over for Reza and MJ. AGAIN.