I am not sure how much more I can take. I’m losing it. I am screaming at Nanette on the phone when she is the person trying to help me fix all this mess. I’m randomly throwing up and crying and being a bitch to all the people trying to help. Now my computer is acting like it is going to die again. I am the worst version of myself. I don’t know what day it is. I can’t eat. I am drinking to much. I smell awful. It feels like everything I have has been taken from me. I don’t have any of my bookmarks and it has taken 24 hours and a youtube tutorial to find out how to get to my admin log in page. Yet, random commenters seem to try to log in there all the time. Fuck. Now my laptop is doing weird shit. I can’t take not having a laptop. It’s all I have in the world. I am going to try to pretend like this is not happening and do a quick Pump Rules recap. I am not sure if it is going to work.
I feel like I missed the last episode. Last night I had no TV, no Internet and no phone. It was terrifying. Anyway, the aperol spritz is the new drink that all the Bravo shows are promoting. I don’t even know what that is and alcohol is my current diet. I am expecting a delivery of a shit ton of wine today. I feel like Scheana. Overwhelmed and doing everything on my own. I am pretty sure I missed the previous episode. I don’t remember any of this stuff.
This recap is going to suck. Sorry. I am highly agitated and Lisa Vanderpump is not helping. The hotel keys have her photo on them. I just can’t. She literally thinks she is the queen of England. All the old farts are in Vegas so that Katie and Schwartz can have yet another wedding. Why? I don’t believe the whole “we forgot to make it official” storyline. Also, Schwartz has yet another chance to dump Katie. Why not just do that now? They are clearly miserable together.
Meanwhile, Beau calls Stassi’s dad to get permission to propose. Her dad was like, “good luck with that.” MY COMPUTER IS CRASHING AGAIN!