I really want to watch Killing Eve but I am not sure I am mentally able to do a Killing Eve recap worthy of the show. When I recap stupid Bravo shit, it irks me when people say, “YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART! Instead of just talking about whatever they want to talk about. So I am admitting in advance that I am probably going to leave out a lot of best parts. I shall leave it to you to help me out in comments. I wish I would have rewatched the previous seasons before now. But I’m going to give this my best shot. Also, I don’t have new photos for this. Or maybe I will. I don’t know. I’m having trouble thinking.
There are showing a bit of backstory and I am already happier than I’ve been all year. I may just watch this episode over and over until things get better. Or until the next one comes. Oh how I have miss good TV. I can’t stop rewinding.
Happily Ever After For Villanelle?
Alrighty then. It looks like we are going to start in Russia where a less than stellar gymnast randomly kills her boyfriend. PMS? Or something more sinister? Sometimes you just have to get your aggression out I guess.
Wait What? Villanelle got married to a woman who is NOT Eve? What is going on here? Her wife’s name is Maria. Villanelle gives a very odd speech. Because, Villanelle. She talks about her past relationship and how she is so much happier now that she is dead. But is Eve dead? I think not. I mean sure the last time we saw her she was bleeding to death after Villanelle shot her in Rome. But as I told some kind soul who checked on me today, you are going to have to try harder than that to kill this old broad. Anyway, at the wedding reception, Villanelle goes off on an uninvited guest, Dasha, who I think is the grown up gymnast killer girl. And also one of Villanelle’s former handlers. Soon chaos breaks out and everyone is fighting on Villanelle’s “special day.”
The next thing we see is Villanelle and Dasha, both fairly bloodied up in the car meant for the newly married couple to depart in replete with streamers.
Wine & Noodles
Then we are off to London and the M16 headquarters to catch up with Carolyn Martens. She has a new boss she hates. She is in hot water with her boss for a variety of reasons.
And then we see Eve! Alive but not that well shopping in an Asian grocery store. I feel just like she looks. She is buying a ton of wine and cups of noodles. I’ve never had ramen noodles. I think I bought a pack to try at one point. It’s probably still in the pantry somewhere. No time like a pandemic to try new things I guess. Oh shit. The bag broke. Thank God the wine survived. She is in Korea town in New Malden, a suburb of London.
Then, we are back in Barcelona with Dasha and Villanelle. Dasha’s mission is to get Villanelle back with the twelve as an assassin. But she wants a promotion. If Dasha can get her to come back, basically she gets to get out and go back to Russia. Villanelle wants to be a keeper. This would make her above Konstantin in the chain of command. They sort of try to strangle each other. Then they laugh. Because, of course.
Kenny Continues To Investigate The Twelve
Next I stop to scan my tag list to remember the name of the dorky kid. I think it is Kenny. During some banter with a colleague we learn he is meeting a friend tonight and has to miss trivia night. I’m guessing that would be Eve. On his computer he has photos of Frank Haleton aka the dickswab who fired Eve and Bill. He was the mole who was working undercover at MI5 and reporting to the twelve. Villanelle killed him via castration while he was wearing a dress. The other face on his computer was Fat Panda a Chinese hacker who according to the internet was also killed by Villanelle at a BDSM place in Berlin. What do these two dead bodies have in common? I dunno yet.
Back to Eve. Apparently, she is a cook in a kitchen in Korea town. Her boss tries to convince her to wait tables and make more money. But she wants to hide in the kitchen. We see her drinking wine and watching TV in her apartment and the we cut to Konstantin! YAY. He’s shopping for touristy London refrigerator magnets? One of his many phones ring and he rejects a call from Irina. I am going to have to stop Googling who all these people are because my searches are staring to get spoilery. Then all his phones start ringing with unknown callers. This can’t be good.
Dasha is gymnastics coach in, I think Barcelona. For unknown reasons, it seems to be take an assassin to work day because Villanelle is there. When the students leave, the two talk about her promotion. Dasha says she is going to have more money and benefits but she is going to have to work her way up to keeper, slowly, slowly catchy monkey. In the meantime, she has a mark for her to kill. By the way, even the commercials are good on BBC.
Wine & Wontons
Back at work, Eve continues to make wontons and go grocery shopping and drink wine and watch TV. Other than the whole wonton thing, she is pretty much leading my monotonous life. Like lots of you, she is also running out of toilet paper. And for some reason she is texting or posting her nearly empty roll online. No idea what that is about. At the same time, Konstantin gets a note with his takeout food that says, “Time to go fishing.” Ah apparently, Eve drunk texted Kenny about the toilet paper and he tracked her phone and went to check on her. And proceeded to scare the shit out of her because she had passed out.
The encounter with Eve and Kenny serves to give us a bit of news on how we got here. We learn as the two drink wine from coffee cups that tourists found Eve and got her to a hospital in Rome. Kenny tried to visit her but they would not let them. He no longer works for MI6 and is a journalist now. I thought Niko was dead. Apparently he is not, but not really with Eve either. Even though someone killed his mistress. She deserved it. MI6 is not investigating the twelve anymore. But Kenny seems to still be doing it on his own. When he tries to share things about activity in Frank and Fat Panda’s accounts, Eve shuts him down right away. She is not interested. He encourages her to come for drinks with his officemates soon.
A Seemingly Random Murder
Eve in in Girona, Spain working as a delivery person. Which means she is about to kill someone. That someone seems to be an innocent shopkeeper. However, she does put up a fight. Back in the first scene where a young Dasha kills her boyfriend, she poured a bag of chalk on his face. Villanelle pours a bag of red spice on the shopkeeper’s face. I guess Sasha did teach Villanelle everything she knows. And Villanelle is back.
Kenny and his mom are moving into a new house. He seems to be standing up to his mother more.
Eve goes to visit Niko who is in some sort of assisted living? rehab? kind of place. Maybe he’s in the looney bin trying to cope with the death of his side piece.
They Killed Kenny!
Back in the kitchen, Eve is ripping the guts out of a chicken. In all of the kitchen scenes, two of the young male cooks have been talking about one of their love interests. She keeps giving him all of these excuses. Eve has enough and blows up on him telling him he is stupid and she is lying to him. She goes outside and calls Kenny and agrees to meet up for drinks.
Kenny is going to die. I can feel it. He is looking into a lot of things no one wants him nosing around in. Please do not kill Kenny. He is the only nice person on the entire show! Eve shows up for drinks with Kenny. And he’s deader than door nails. Someone threw him off the roof. This will be the reason Eve gets back in the game. Well that is a shitty ending. Thoughts?