I am sort of losing track of time. I didn’t realize it was Sunday yesterday. RHOA didn’t tape and I didn’t notice so I may just skip an episode if it was even new. Instead, I’m going to do a 90 Day Fiancé Recap. I am really behind on recaps. Today I just find everything annoying AF. I have kind of a weird headache. I am not in the mood for anything. So a two hour show to recap seems like something I might be able to do.
Lisa & Usman
Oh wow, I feel like I might have missed an episode or something. Usman has disappeared on Lisa and is not responding to her texts. He finally shows up and they get in a full blown argument. Usman is fed up with Lisa’s piss poor attitude. He tells Lisa if she is going to continue to be a control freak, they need to just go their separate ways. Good for you, Usman. Lisa is such a bitch. And yet, Usman makes up with her. Again.
Rose & Ed
This relationship is starting to freak me out. Ed is just so… awkward. I am not feeling the massage scene. His hair grosses me out. Wow, they had sex that night! I am kind of surprised by that. Ed has a problem with Rose’s hairy legs. Dude. Really? Rose is way out of your league and you want to demand she shave her legs? How about you wash and cut your hair? In the end, she shaves her legs and he shaves his beard. Then it is off to Rose’s village. It’s not a developed city at all. It’s a very impoverished area.
Ed is very freaked out by the entire village. Rose’s son calls Ed, Daddy! Maria, Rose’s sister, is not much an Ed fan. Neither is his dad. Dad is late to dinner because he was working on a pig farm. I feel like this huge spread of food probably took every bit of money they had. There are cats and chickens under the table where they are eating. As usual, Ed is sweating like a pig. Ed suddenly has an epiphany that perhaps it is not his rugged good looks and pleasant personality that Rose is attracted to. In fact, he suspects he is her meal ticket out of the Philippines. Gee, you think?
Varya & Geoffrey
These two are headed to Siberia so that Geoffrey can meet her mother. Her mom does not want her to move to the US at all. These two joined the mile high club on the plane. Who wants to have sex in a nasty airplane bathroom? Gross. Geoffrey has no gift for Varya’s mother. They literally stop on the side of the road so he can pick weeds for her.
Varya’s mother is lovely. I love them all cooking and talking together. But, Varya’s mother is not happy at the prospect of Varya moving to the US with someone she doesn’t know anything about. How can she trust him with her daughter. You can’t. The guy is a psychopath.
Darcey & Tom
For the love of God, can we just get this scene over with? They have been dragging this meeting out for weeks. The conversation is very awkward. She seems pissed he didn’t join her in Malta for her birthday. Tom is frustrated that she won’t let him speak.
Once again, the last five minutes of the show goes back to these two. Tom says he has met someone who loves him the way he wanted to be loved. Three weeks ago? Really? Tom wants to stay friends. Darcey wants nothing to do with him. Tom tells Darcey to try not ruin the next relationship. Then Tom asks her if she has gained weight. Wow. This is really ending in a nasty way. That said, Tom is still hot.
Stephanie & Erika
These two have a date to make molds of each other’s boobs. Stephanie is totally weirded out by the whole thing. Stephanie seems to be putting the pressure on Erika to move to NYC. So Stephanie is not interested in getting physical any time soon. But she basically wants Erika to abandon her job and move to the US.
Stephanie takes Erika out to dinner. I do not find Stephanie likable. She goes in on Erika for having a dating app on her phone. Really? Erika is pissed that Stephanie is so controlling. Stephanie plays the victim. Erika storms out of the restaurant. Stephanie cries. She is the one who started the drama.
Avery & Ash
There are too many couples on this season. You only get like five minutes on each couple. The two go on a trip to the beach for a romantic picnic. They have a very uncomfortable conversation about his ten year old son. Avery isn’t sure that moving with is son is an option.
I really don’t see the point of the Yolanda storyline. None of this seems real to me at all.