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I know we need lots of open forums these days because a lot of times once y’all have to scroll back a long way, your thumbs get tired. 🙂 So I thought I would talk about my favorite topic, me!
Yesterday, I couldn’t watch another ridiculous update from the white house, but when I am watching something on DVR and it ends, it reverts back to CNN. And they were saying we were all on STAY HOME status. I didn’t realize that it was the same ass SHELTER IN PLACE and I thought the grocery stores were all closing. So today, I felt like I really needed to go to Publix. I have been putting it off for days. So around ten hours ago, I made the journey. And only now do I feel like talking about it.
Very early on in the pandemic, I purchased a face mask. Actually, someone told we what kind to buy. This was before we knew what kind to buy but they were all gone. It’s a very thick very fitted mask that is bright blue. I added a pair of sunglasses and headed out to the store. I wore one of those shelf bra kind of tank tops, a long sleeved t-shirt and a very heavy flannel shirt. It was 55 degrees which is cold to us southerners. Oh and I was also wearing long blue latex gloves. I looked like a martian disguised as a redneck lesbian. And it was kind of hard to breathe. Or talk.
And I was feeling claustrophobic.
But, on the arduous two mile drive to the Publix, I rolled down the window. The sun was shining. I was quite sure I had this. Just inside Publix there was a sweet young man sanitizing shopping carts. Some of y’all may recall when Ghetto Publix closed and moved a mile or so away and became another Rich People Publix. This mean some more higher end goods. It also meant you would stand our if you went in your pajamas. It’s also almost always PACKED.
Today, I would say there were about 50 people more or less there. I usually wait in fairly long lines at this store. I was second in line today. No one was social distancing, including me. Don’t judge, have you ever tried to stay six feet away from every person in a grocery store? Also, there is always THAT ONE PERSON I run into over and over while shopping. It’s a different person each time. But there is always someone who is constantly in my way and doesn’t seem to know what they are looking to buy. But,whatever it is always right where I want to grab stuff. On every fucking aisle. So how do you social distance from that?
So things were going okay but I can never find the canned fruit in this store. So I was starting to get in a dither over pineapple. I was also sweating like a pig in long latex gloves. I started to feel water rolling down my back. I was hot. And sweating more than I did back a month ago when I was sane and training for a 5K. I was sweating more than a menopausal night sweat. I was sweating. ALOT. So that was embarrassing. I was feeling weird and really needed to get some air. But first, I had to load all my heavy crap onto the belt. The cashier was super fast and I was way behind. The good news is no one gets in line behind the lesbian Martian. So there was some less pressure.
The bad news was that I forgot and started unloading with the wine. They card everyone at Publix. They would card Betty White. This means I have to get out my wallet and my ID and put it away and then get my wallet and charge card out at the end. The sweating is getting worse. And now I am talking to people though the Martian Mask. Which is weird. So I try not to say to much. Until my psychotic yelling starts. Suddenly, I bend over and yell OW! a couple of times. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I am suddenly having violent stomach cramps. I really need to get out of there. The sweet little cashier is super kind and the bagger took my cart for me.
The second I was out of the store I started ripping off… my clothes. Because, hot. That heavy duty flannel shirt was just too much. The employees of this Publix are the absolute best though.Every time I go there. I got home and put up the refrigerated foods. Went through the entire hand washing and wipe down of the doorknobs and car key crap and sat down to die. I didn’t even open the wine. Instead, I drank a ton of cold water.
And suddenly, I felt great. Like I had sweated all the
alcohol errr toxins out of my body. I briefly considered doing some dishes. Then I crashed and felt exhausted and slept for a bit. I haven’t felt like doing shit since. I’ve been watching a few things on DVR, napping and then waking up to watch a few things live. I plan to sleep for ten hours.
That said, I would suggest you get they to the grocery store before things get worse if you have crucial items. I truly did not buy enough wine. I’m going to have to wine dot com some. Speaking of wine, my wine rep sent me two bottles of Merlot a while back. People try to court sites away from their agency when things get tight, like now. I had received wine from my previous rep. And it was um, not great. So I put the Merlot away for an emergency, that I had this week. It was REALLY GOOD WINE. So I thought I would order that. But it was $50 a pop! LOL. I should probably thank her again.
Also, there was no toilet paper (I’m good on that) Like NO TOILET PAPER AT ALL. It was weird. There were also NO PAPER TOWELS (Kinda needed a double pack of those). There were like twenty small boxes of tissues. I took two of those because, the pollen is insane right now. I got the last Meyers hand soap. But I have at least two other bottles of that. There were plenty of other kinds of hand soaps. Apparently, RICH PEOPLE like a Meyer’s hand soap.
Water was limited and I have plenty of that for a month or so. I did buy lead free ice. I wanted some Zinc but I have tried online and twice at Publix to figure out a supplement with Zinc and the online choices are pages long on Walmart.
So is anyone else still going to the grocery store? I should be good for a month or more (if I order more wine online.) I am fine. I am not sick. I just had some weird kind of panic attack or something. It’s kind of weird breathing through a ventilated mask. I have complained to many a bed partner to “stop breathing all the good air!”
Hope you are all hanging in there.