I feel like you guys all got me hooked on 90 Day Fiancé and now don’t want to talk about it anymore. Nonetheless, I shall bang out a 90 Day Fiancé recap.
Lisa & Usman
Lisa is an idiot. Usman needs to find another fish in the sea. None of the things he is doing for Lisa are appreciated. Usman is really good at apologizing. Especially since he is not the one who should be apologizing in this situation.
It is the night of Usman’s big video premiere. Of course, Lisa is immediately jealous of all the female fans. After they play the video, there is a photo of Lisa that identifies her as his fiancé. Then he points her out to the crowd. Everyone seems very confused. People are not found of the old white lady. But, Usman goes for the full on PDA.
These two take a puddle jumper to a remote Nigerian town to get the approval from Usman’s mother for them to get married. Lisa is freaked out by the hotel room they had to stay in. The bed is two box springs on top of each other. The “shower” is a hose and a bucket. Of course she complains. Usman’s friend who picked them up at the airport is concerned about the relationship dynamic. Lisa just bosses him around all the time. Usman is having second thoughts.
Darcey & Tom
I am still not sure what the deal is with these two. Oh Tom tells us that he is in love with Darcey. He says the distance is an issue. This lunch meetup has taken the entire two hours to happen. Why do I feel like this is not going to play out before the end of the episode? He stands up to hug her when she walks into the restaurant and she pushes him away. And the episode ends.
Rose & Ed
The crowds of people on this show freaks me out. I want to scream out “social distancing!” Ed is really sad the day after his big fight with Rose over the STD test issue. He is crying and is terrified that he as lost her. She is not taking his calls. I really need him to wash his hair.
Rose eventually shows up to the coffee shop about two hours late. Ed apologizes. He cries. He begs forgiveness. Rose forgives him.
Stephanie & Erika
Stephanie seems to have a fear of physical intimacy. This could be because of all her health issues. They finally have their first kiss in the hotel bathroom. The next day, these two go on an Australian wildlife adventure. Probably not the best idea for someone with a suppressed immune system. Erika was not fully informed about the extent of Stephanie’s medical condition.
Lana & David
This is just so sad. David is still trying to convince himself that “Lana” is going to show up. David goes to meet up with Anya. Anya points out that she has never shown up. David wants to go to her town and try to find her. Anya is concerned about David’s trip. It is not a safe down. The roads are very bad and dangerous. It’s near the war zone.
Varya & Geoffrey
Geoffrey stormed of the restaurant the previous night after learning that Varya has another American friend on the dating site. He went to a hotel. He gets on Skype and talks to his friend Mary. Mary wants a relationship with Geoffrey. If Mary is so close to Geoffrey, how does she not know what an abusive person he is?
These two meet up to talk. Varya brings him his suitcase. She says that the way he behaved when meeting all of her friends was unacceptable. He apologizes. Varya needs to count her blessings and run this dude. He cries. They decide to try again.