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You are here: Home / 90 Day Fiancé / 90 Day Fiancé Recap: Can’t Buy Me Love

90 Day Fiancé Recap: Can’t Buy Me Love

March 30, 2020 by tamaratattles 41 Comments

90 Day Fiance RecapI feel like you guys all got me hooked on 90 Day Fiancé and now don’t want to talk about it anymore. Nonetheless, I shall bang out a 90 Day Fiancé recap.

Lisa & Usman

Lisa is an idiot. Usman needs to find another fish in the sea. None of the things he is doing for Lisa are appreciated. Usman is really good at apologizing. Especially since he is not the one who should be apologizing in this situation.

It is the night of Usman’s big video premiere. Of course, Lisa is immediately jealous of all the female fans. After they play the video, there is a photo of Lisa that identifies her as his fiancé. Then he points her out to the crowd. Everyone seems very confused. People are not found of the old white lady. But, Usman goes for the full on PDA.

Click Here For More 90 Day Fiancé Recaps! 

These two take a puddle jumper to a remote Nigerian town to get the approval from Usman’s mother for them to get married. Lisa is freaked out by the hotel room they had to stay in. The bed is two box springs on top of each other. The “shower” is a hose and a bucket. Of course she complains. Usman’s friend who picked them up at the airport is concerned about the relationship dynamic. Lisa just bosses him around all the time. Usman is having second thoughts.

Darcey & Tom

I am still not sure what the deal is with these two. Oh Tom tells us that he is in love with Darcey. He says the distance is an issue. This lunch meetup has taken the entire two hours to happen. Why do I feel like this is not going to play out before the end of the episode? He stands up to hug her when she walks into the restaurant and she pushes him away. And the episode ends.

90 Day Fiance RecapRose & Ed

The crowds of people on this show freaks me out. I want to scream out “social distancing!” Ed is really sad the day after his big fight with Rose over the STD test issue. He is crying and is terrified that he as lost her. She is not taking his calls. I really need him to wash his hair.

Click Here For More 90 Day Fiancé Recaps! 

Rose eventually shows up to the coffee shop about two hours late. Ed apologizes. He cries. He begs forgiveness. Rose forgives him.

90 Day Fiance RecapStephanie & Erika

Stephanie seems to have a fear of physical intimacy. This could be because of all her health issues. They finally have their first kiss in the hotel bathroom. The next day, these two go on an Australian wildlife adventure. Probably not the best idea for someone with a suppressed immune system. Erika was not fully informed about the extent of Stephanie’s medical condition.

Lana & David

This is just so sad. David is still trying to convince himself that “Lana” is going to show up. David goes to meet up with Anya. Anya points out that she has never shown up. David wants to go to her town and try to find her. Anya is concerned about David’s trip. It is not a safe down. The roads are very bad and dangerous. It’s near the war zone.

Geoffrey PashelVarya & Geoffrey

Geoffrey stormed of the restaurant the previous night after learning that Varya has another American friend on the dating site. He went to a hotel. He gets on Skype and talks to his friend Mary. Mary wants a relationship with Geoffrey. If Mary is so close to Geoffrey, how does she not know what an abusive person he is? 

Click Here For More 90 Day Fiancé Recaps! 

These two meet up to talk. Varya brings him his suitcase. She says that the way he behaved when meeting all of her friends was unacceptable. He apologizes. Varya needs to count her blessings and run this dude. He cries. They decide to try again.

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Filed Under: 90 Day Fiancé Tagged With: Avery & Ash, Before the 90 Days, Darcey & Tom, David & Lana, Ed & Rosemarie, Geoffrey & Varya, Geoffrey Pashel, Lisa & Usman, Stephanie & Erika, TLC, Yolanda & William

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Mare says

    March 30, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    It always surprises me when Americans on 90 Day Fiancé travel to faraway places and expect accommodations to be just the same as back home. I am no world traveler but I’ve read enough and watched enough documentaries to understand the world is a huge place with many different customs and ways. Have they never seen a National Geographic!?

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      March 30, 2020 at 10:42 pm

      I can’t believe she would complain so much. Nigeria is a third world country, particularly in its rural areas. It’s not the four seasons.

      Reply
      • Deborah A Johnson says

        March 31, 2020 at 5:19 pm

        Hello. This season of 90 day is good!

        Reply
  2. Lisa Cantu says

    March 30, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Lisa is an idiot and I’m hoping Usman dumps her quick. I think Varya is in danger with Geoffrey and if the producers know about his background and let her be alone with him thats horrific

    Reply
    • Deborah A Johnson says

      March 31, 2020 at 5:22 pm

      I totally agree.

      Reply
  3. Hope Burns says

    March 30, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    I can’t figure out why these older white women develop a weird accent when talking to their Nigerian Baby Loves….lLOL (Angela and Lisa)…..

    Reply
    • Swannie says

      March 30, 2020 at 10:41 pm

      I know! Why? I mean I have family in different areas I know that I can speak Minnesotan, especially when I am fired up. But it is odd to me. The dialect or whatever that comes out is really weird to me. Red flag red flag for crazy. But. Flags. Ignored and now what? I saw that Nicole is away from her child. I’m refraining from going into that. Now I am compelled to look at where Jenny and the others are.

      Reply
  4. Swannie says

    March 30, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    Large sigh. Where do I begin. All of this is just…large sigh. I happened to be accidentally watching pillow talk before the episode, and I liked that sequence of watching. Yet, I feel that shouldn’t be,

    Reply
    • kete05 says

      March 30, 2020 at 10:48 pm

      I agree. I enjoy the Pillow Talk episodes. Maybe I will just watch those for the rest of the season.

      Reply
    • Swannie says

      March 30, 2020 at 10:49 pm

      Sorry who knows what I did that made my response cut off, but I too do not get the change in the accent and language. I have found myself adopting certain changes when around family from MN or ND but…it just perplexes me with these ones. It goes back to Danielle.

      Reply
    • Calipatti says

      March 30, 2020 at 11:50 pm

      I like Pillow Talk, I like the Jewish couple sarcasm mixed with heart, ,old white guy and Thai girl, so funny, where are the two black guys, they were hilarious. Oh maybe the best those two women. She was married that young Latino then wondered why it did not work.
      Why do these old white women think these semi hot young men are in for love? Usman does honestly seem to care, seems like a nice young man.
      What is Geoffrey’s history?

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        March 31, 2020 at 1:23 am

        Oh, sweetie, click the link in the post about Geoffrey.

        Reply
        • Calipatti says

          March 31, 2020 at 4:05 am

          Thank you TT,
          don’t kill anyone tomorrow.

          Reply
        • Melcle says

          March 31, 2020 at 7:57 am

          I really have to believe the whole “Geoffrey’s past” will play out and Varya will run for the hills or TLC has blood on their hands. Its downright scary! You could tell by his overeaction to everything he has major control issues!!!! This is crazy!!!

          Reply
      • Jamie Pasinella says

        April 18, 2020 at 12:53 am

        Usman seems to care yes but in the very first episode he calls Lisa an idiot/fool in nigerian pidgin (mumu) he said it while his hand slid over his mouth as he tried to muffle it but I heard him loud and clear. It’s one of the few times he was honest in my opinion lol

        Reply
  5. Anna says

    March 30, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Please don’t stop your recaps of 90 days. I don’t comment because you would disagree with mr.. for example, Geoffrey is bad news, but I think vary a is too. Her ownfriends sold her out. Something isn’t right.
    Anyway, i really enjoy your recaps

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      March 30, 2020 at 11:08 pm

      Buck up buttercup! 🙂 There is nothing wrong with a disagreement here and there. I agree with you about Varya. OBVIOUSLY all of the foreigners are looking for a green card. But I fear for her safety around Geoffrey.

      Reply
      • O.O says

        March 31, 2020 at 1:46 pm

        ❤️

        Reply
  6. kete05 says

    March 30, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    I think all the Americans on this season are crazy. Lisa is so overbearing and the definition of an ugly American. Darcey has done this with two people so far and she seems so desperate. The guy with the very young girl (and greasy hair) is the most normal but the whole thing freaks me out. I guess Stefanie is okay. Compared to the others from this episode, she is the most sane. Geoffery is horrid and should not be on the show. David is delusional. I am concerned for his safety if he really goes driving around Ukraine looking for this “woman”.

    All the foreigners on this episode would be better off RUNNING the other way. I like Ash and Avery. I feel like there was another couple that I liked but I get all the 90 days shows confused.

    Reply
  7. Lucinda Meyer says

    March 30, 2020 at 11:01 pm

    Usman is seeing the price he’s paying is too high, even for a free ride to America.
    Darcy texts Tom saying “I hope your [sic] calm.” But she’s the one who’s on a hair trigger, as per usual.
    If everything I’ve read about Geoffrey is true, he’s got some nerve ragging on Varya about truthfulness.
    Yolanda can go pound sand as far as I’m concerned.
    David needs to go on dr. Phil for one of those intervention episodes he does about catfishes. His delusional construct is industrial strength.
    OMG, tt, I totally agree with you about the hair washing. I’ve seen pictures of Ed in which his hair is clean and kinda curly with some gray. It looks so much nicer than the greasy semi-man bun. He’s still got the no more kids thing hanging fire, which he seems to have conveniently forgotten about. Things will go south again if he brings that up.

    Reply
  8. KaraW says

    March 30, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Ed is on a one man We Believe Women campaign. If I followed it correctly, he asked her to get tested and said he would also get tested, she got offended and left, and now that he realizes he’s lost her, he decided he completely trusts her and will never ask her anything like that again because he loves her. I would love to be a fly on the wall if they ever do sleep together. Isn’t he somewhat of a germaphobe, or am I thinking of someone else? I can just see him freaking out because he’s actually still afraid.

    Oh, David, ready to drive off to a war zone with his cubic zirconia,

    And Sojaboy, listen to your friends!!!

    Reply
  9. LucyLoo says

    March 30, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    The club scene with Lisa and Usman was AWESOME in a cringeworthy kind of.
    way! She is absolutely clueless and an asshole. I feel sorry for the guy.

    Love this show and love your recaps TT !

    Reply
  10. Cold Ice says

    March 30, 2020 at 11:55 pm

    re:Lisa and Usman

    They are both fools who had UNPROTECTED sex on their 1st date.
    Ugh.
    Get me the hell out of here.

    Reply
  11. tamaratattles says

    March 31, 2020 at 1:28 am

    Watching Pillow Talk and I love Molly, she is the bra guru in a north Atlanta suburb. But she is one of those expensive bra places. I’d still like to go meet meet her. I didn’t watch her season.

    Reply
    • Swannie says

      March 31, 2020 at 5:51 am

      Adore her. Watched her season but didn’t watch double divas, I think that was the other show with Molly.

      Reply
    • Melcle says

      March 31, 2020 at 8:01 am

      Sometimes they have mini episodes of one person’s journey and you may be able to find it about Molly. I really liked her!!! Her guy “Luis” sadly was not here for the right reasons… insert eye roll but she dodged a bullet!

      Reply
      • Roxanne says

        March 31, 2020 at 11:45 am

        TLC had an episode called ‘Biggest Breakups’ last night. Maybe it’s on their website. I hadn’t watched her season either but Molly & Luis story was recapped. Im usually a reasonable person but have felt pushed past my breaking point by a juvenile immature button pusher. I wanted to grab Luis & throttle him for her. Ugh my PTSD flared up watching them.

        Reply
    • Tara says

      March 31, 2020 at 8:08 pm

      isnt it strange how all these ppl jump from show to show? It makes me think they are desperate for celebrity. On another note I just realized where Destiny from SHAHS was from originally. (weird)

      Reply
  12. Queenjen says

    March 31, 2020 at 1:35 am

    David has been talking to a bloated cheeto dust coated Ukrainian male, who has been perfecting his bot site for the last 7 years. How this man can’t see this is a reminder to all of us to listen to our heads a little bit when in the throes of romance and new love. Or you end up with a Geoffrey.
    And what’s with David’s head? That HAS to be a toupee, right? He’d be too cheap for plugs or whatever the latest replacement hair technology is. The smartest thing this dude has done is invest in a cubic zirconia.
    I’m now torn. 90 Day Fiancé has me thinking which is worse? Receiving a regifted engagement ring, or receiving a cubic zirconia?
    Be thankful, American friends, that your country values this GIFT of a show enough to broadcast it. Here in Australia, we have NO access. One cable company has it but for some reason, you can’t record it easily and that’s WHEN they decide to broadcast it. I couldn’t figure out their timing. We just seemed to get bits of Pillow Talk then maybe a couple of random episodes from 3 seasons ago of any of the other 90 Day family. IT SUCKS! !!! I’m sacrificing my laptop to access a show that I can’t live without! If anyone has any idea how to get 90 Day on time in Australia, please let me know!
    And if I can figures out Geoffrey Pascal is likely to drag Varya around by the hair, fight her for custody and win whilst allowing their child to expire on the rug in front of the TV, from Australia, then TLC and any woman closely associated with him HAS to know too. Geoffrey also behaved EXACTLY the way a narcissist would. First the inability to meet her friends like a normal person ie without destroying the whole night and then the abrupt break up for the flimsiest of reasons, then calling a single female friend and then deigning to ‘have’ Varya back. Varya needs to take him straight back to meet her friends again. If he can t do it politely and normally then he is a narcissist on top of a woman and child abuser and criminal.
    I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!
    So glad you’re recapping it.

    Reply
    • TammyinVA says

      March 31, 2020 at 11:26 am

      I’m glad someone else said it. That isn’t just a toupee on David’s head – it has to be a full-blown wig! It looks like something crawled up on his head and died!

      Reply
  13. thill says

    March 31, 2020 at 9:49 am

    I love this show too. Glad to see the recap TT.

    I am tired of Darcy and Tom. They are clearly playing for the camera and I bet they’d had no contact in months and months. Darcy’s dramatic entrance and shoving him away were so OTT. And Darcy needs a body redo. Reduce those boobs (and cover them up) and lips and you won’t look so fat. She is so short that those ginormous boobs are clownish. And not sexy — yech. And take out the extensions and get a young looking bob.

    I am always amazed by people like Lisa. IDK where she got the money for the travel and the visa based on where she lives (I am from PA too and know this is a rundown area for the most part and her clothes confirm it). Why does she think she is a gorgeous catch? Is she just delusional? If she’s all that, why are PA men beating down her door for dates? She needs a big slap from the reality gods.

    Reply
    • Tara says

      March 31, 2020 at 8:07 pm

      lmao your so right about “BabyLove” I cant help but think, where the hell did she get the money to travel abroad like this?! and on top of it pay the almost 800 dollars if he comes back to USA. I am from Philly so I no plenty women like her also. Usman needs to get out of this why he can. Thats why I am starting to think he ay be doing it for a green card.

      Reply
    • Roxana says

      April 1, 2020 at 4:33 pm

      Thill – I was saying exactly what you on Sunday as I watched Darcy get ready for her date! All the hair and boobs make her look so squatty. And she really should shorten her pants so they don’t drag! Whoever her plastic surgeon is, he’s not doing her in favors.

      Reply
  14. Kerry says

    March 31, 2020 at 10:49 am

    Lisa complained about the hotel she and Usman stayed while in his hometown. She spoke about the hotel as if she has only stayed in the best hotels . Seriously? I have a feeling the hotels she has stayed in before are lucky if the received one star.

    Reply
  15. Carson says

    March 31, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Thanks for the recap! I was slow to get to this show and now I’m hooked.

    Can someone please explain why Ed didn’t frame the STD test as a safety matter? He could have gently explained about AIDS and how it devastated the US. He could have explained that even if she tested positive for SOMEthing, he loved her and they would get through it.

    But insisting on the STD test as a matter of “trust” was just stupid. And just because he trusts her now, doesn’t mean she still doesn’t have an STD! Now what happens to this “sensitive germaphobe” when he wants to have unprotected sex with her?

    And for everyone interested in Molly, the Southern woman from “Pillow Talk”, there’s an excellent podcast that does recaps of “90 Days” and they had her on as a guest not too long ago. The podcast is called “Pink Shade.” TT, if mentioning the podcast isn’t allowed, please delete. I know you’re not real into podcasts anyway…

    Stay safe everyone!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      March 31, 2020 at 3:41 pm

      Ed just botched the whole thing. He could have pointed out that in the US people get tested sometimes starting new relationships. And both people do it. And it has nothing to do with her past. They will do it together. I didn’t have a problem with him wanting to get her tested. He just went about it all wrong

      Reply
      • Carson says

        March 31, 2020 at 5:01 pm

        Perzackly!! Framing it as a trust issue, “I cannot possibly trust you unless you take this test!” was just SO WRONG.

        Reply
  16. Janfan says

    March 31, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    Thanks Tamara! I love this show! These dingledork men are single for a reason. What was Geoffry thinking? He met a woman on an international dating site and now she wants to come to America. The horror! No shit Sherlock! That’s why the women are on there! You are on there to get a foreign woman who will move your boring town in Tennessee, and be so thankful that she won’t leave you over your prison record. I would love Tennessee, but a young Russian girl is gonna to want to be around people and go to all the cities she sees on TV! David is just sad, sad. And, that massage oil he packed just about through me over the edge. Ed too with the oil. Yuk! I’m thinking all these women – and Usman – deserve to get Visas for dealing with all crazy people! Nigerian men are going to see these shows with Angela & Lisa – and run for the hills!

    I like Ed and I’m rooting for him. But, I am crazy distracted by his hair. He dyed it so dark. I want someone to give him a makeover. It is a huge age difference, but if she can improve her & her child’s life and Ed is happy – go for it! He definitely has some oddities, but a small kid will happily kick him out of that germaphobe mentality quickly. I think Rose has dealt with so many hardships that she seems very mature. And, Ed seem very kind. I hope they make it.

    Reply
    • Julie says

      April 4, 2020 at 3:25 am

      I think Ed is simply a pervert. There is nothing new about buying a foreign bride. These men could never date a woman that beautiful and YOUNG here in the states. It is only because of the extremely poor conditions that Rose lives with her son and her desire to provide her son with a better life that she even gives Ed the time of day. Ed knows what he is doing and grosses me out the way he looks at Rose. Telling her to go shower was disgusting too because it was clear he had an ulterior motive….ewwwww.

      Reply
  17. Tara says

    March 31, 2020 at 8:03 pm

    About Geoffrey… I was watching in the beginning and fell for his niceness but then I watched the episode where he completely flipped on V for talking to another American, I told my boyfriend who watches the show with me, that guy right there is 100 percent an abuser. My boyfriend was like what?! why?! I knew just by his over reaction he has some dometic violence tendencies. Then he goes outside and breaks down and cries… something wasnt right, to emotional in my opinion. So then I go online and low and behold find out all this shit about him. CRAZY! He is so hypocritical, I literally cant even stand it. He is talking to the girl on the phone who wants to be with him and he has all these secrets. He says the past doesnt matter. UGH! i cant I hope V realizes and leaves his ass! P.S. When he flipped at the meeting with her friends he also was very defensive and said Well we all have a past, it was like damn why is he getting so defensive?! As far as USMAN and BABY LOVE go … USMAN needs to leave her ass. He already has a mom he dont need another.

    Reply
    • Julie says

      April 5, 2020 at 5:26 pm

      Lisa is an embarrassing example of an American. Lisa is an embarrassing example of an older woman. She has NO class. There is so much about her that I find disgusting I couldn’t possibly write it all. But couldn’t she have done her gray roots, painted her red chipped nail polish, revealing tobacco stained nails?(gross) If she thinks Sojaboy is such celebrity, why show up for the premiere of his video wearing torn jeans, an ugly ass sleeveless cowl neck (does anybody still wear cowl neck anymore) and work boots. WTF? I have to agree with the other comments, she looked like his grandma.

      Reply

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