No matter how awful some of the people on this show can be, they are way better than these daily press conferences where the medical professional can’t even show up anymore due to the sheer stupidity of what comes out of the orange one’s mouth. Today he wants full pews in all the churches for Easter. I suppose that is part of the over all kill grandma and grandpa plan the republicans came up with this week. Le sigh. So Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap it is.
We left off with Jenna crying because Adam won’t fuck her. I imagine he probably already would have if she didn’t get drunk and beg him for dick every night. Desperation is not an aphrodisiac. Then she tells him to enjoy living in his van and hating people. I’m pretty sure he already enjoys that way more than this sort of dramatic behavior. He flees to her cabin so of course she shows up wanting to talk about her feelings and needing a hug. Adam basically dumps Jenna. This fight is keeping the rest of them from the Jacuzzi, why?
There Are So Many Children On This Boat!
Madison for reasons that are unfathomable has a thing for Parker. Parker is still complaining the next day about Paget’s language at dinner from the last episode. As he farts on the yacht cushions in front of the girls. He is such a tool. Captain Glenn overhears the bickering between Parker and Ciara. At the somewhat awkward preference sheep meeting, we discover that the female primary is a vapid blond who doesn’t eat food. This should be pleasant. Also, Jenna can’t stop crying. I am enjoying watching her suffer.
Captain Glenn calls Paget and Ciara to talk about Parker. They both tell it like it is. He’s a dumb little prick who doesn’t respect authority. When Captain Glenn talks to Parker, he is so stupid that he proves their points over and over. Meanwhile, in an attempt to top Jenna’s pouting, Adam apologizes for hurting her feelings and gives her a hug. You never reward a pouting child with attention. Adam seems ready to try the relationship again. Jenna goes back to being a bitch to the stews.
Parker Apparently Thinks He Owns The Beach
The guests barely cross the passerelle before they make it clear they are awful. One has a giant tourist bag with “Where’s My F’ing Yacht?” sewn on it. They say “meow” instead of cheers! I hate them all already so much. Then there is the “Make Greece Great Again.” Swimsuit.
Parker takes Ciara and Madison to the beach to set up the BBQ dinner that no one will eat. They get to the rocky beach with no swim shoes. Then they set up two chairs, grab a couple of drinks and turn off the radio. They do zero things. This is all scripted. We are already told Madison is braless and shoeless and that is part of the title. At any rate we are not going to get to the beach barbie-Q this episode.
Later this season, someone has cocaine on the boat? Is it Parker?