No matter how awful some of the people on this show can be, they are way better than these daily press conferences where the medical professional can’t even show up anymore due to the sheer stupidity of what comes out of the orange one’s mouth. Today he wants full pews in all the churches for Easter. I suppose that is part of the over all kill grandma and grandpa plan the republicans came up with this week. Le sigh. So Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap it is.
We left off with Jenna crying because Adam won’t fuck her. I imagine he probably already would have if she didn’t get drunk and beg him for dick every night. Desperation is not an aphrodisiac. Then she tells him to enjoy living in his van and hating people. I’m pretty sure he already enjoys that way more than this sort of dramatic behavior. He flees to her cabin so of course she shows up wanting to talk about her feelings and needing a hug. Adam basically dumps Jenna. This fight is keeping the rest of them from the Jacuzzi, why?
There Are So Many Children On This Boat!
Madison for reasons that are unfathomable has a thing for Parker. Parker is still complaining the next day about Paget’s language at dinner from the last episode. As he farts on the yacht cushions in front of the girls. He is such a tool. Captain Glenn overhears the bickering between Parker and Ciara. At the somewhat awkward preference sheep meeting, we discover that the female primary is a vapid blond who doesn’t eat food. This should be pleasant. Also, Jenna can’t stop crying. I am enjoying watching her suffer.
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Captain Glenn calls Paget and Ciara to talk about Parker. They both tell it like it is. He’s a dumb little prick who doesn’t respect authority. When Captain Glenn talks to Parker, he is so stupid that he proves their points over and over. Meanwhile, in an attempt to top Jenna’s pouting, Adam apologizes for hurting her feelings and gives her a hug. You never reward a pouting child with attention. Adam seems ready to try the relationship again. Jenna goes back to being a bitch to the stews.
Parker Apparently Thinks He Owns The Beach
The guests barely cross the passerelle before they make it clear they are awful. One has a giant tourist bag with “Where’s My F’ing Yacht?” sewn on it. They say “meow” instead of cheers! I hate them all already so much. Then there is the “Make Greece Great Again.” Swimsuit.
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Parker takes Ciara and Madison to the beach to set up the BBQ dinner that no one will eat. They get to the rocky beach with no swim shoes. Then they set up two chairs, grab a couple of drinks and turn off the radio. They do zero things. This is all scripted. We are already told Madison is braless and shoeless and that is part of the title. At any rate we are not going to get to the beach barbie-Q this episode.
Later this season, someone has cocaine on the boat? Is it Parker?
Oy Vay! I sure was trying to give this spin off a try. All I feel is irritation. Captain Glenn keeps me hanging on by my fingernails.
Madison, don’t f**king ask someone if you need shoes. You are a grown up. You would never survive Survivor.
Jenna – Neediness is a boner killer for a narcissist.
Jenna just can’t wrap her head around the fact that Adam won’t fuck her. Girl, he’s just not that into you! I also am disgusted by how Jenna never seems to do anything and it mostly Madison who is running her ass off while poor Georgia is chained in the laundry room. Parker is the most dangerous kind of stupid, he doesn’t know he’s stupid. He’s a moron. And after listening to Jenna and Parker all day I would have done exactly as Madison and Ciara did and chill on the beach. I love Byron, he is so even keeled that I love watching his reaction to the stupidity. I would love to go on a big sailing yacht, it would be amazing.
Totally grossed out by Adam egging on Parker to hug Madison from behind when she was at the sink. And then he licked her ear or something like that. Okay, Madison did say she had a crush on him but she didn’t seem happy to be mauled by him without her permission. Adam, with his gleeful look, and Jenna, just standing there laughing, was very disturbing to me. Jenna should’ve tried to protect her employee and fellow woman. But I guess Adam’s approval is more important to her. Good to know.
I don’t think Madison really minded.
I had to stop after reading your first paragraph to thank you for making me laugh out loud…”the orange one” indeed. Tell it, girl! I think he’s trying to kill off many of us on Social Security and Medicare so he has a windfall to play with. Then he can say he made Social Security sustainable. Le Sigh. Thanks for the much-needed laugh! Now back to the recap.
With every episode, I like Georgia less and less. Paget should put a stop to her flirting with him, but instead he laps it up. I can’t say I like Ciara, but she doesn’t deserve the disrespect Paget and Georgia are showing her.
I’m very curious about who had the upcoming cocaine.
These guests are beyond annoying.
Check out the Bravo website. There is a preview of “still to come.” The screen shit is of the entire cast, Glenn and Byron included, having a toast — but no Madison. Was the coke hers, or is it a Bravo mindfuck?
I can’t remember at this point, but during the first episode, did they mention Madison’s luggage being so heavy because she brings a ton of candy, etc.? Hmmm.
I can kind of see this being Parker. I hope it’s not Madison, because I’d like her to stick around.
Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh Good point. But where would she be doing it? There are cameras EVERYWHERE!
Wasn’t Madison on WWHL but in the audience? Was there a microphone on her?
In her bathroom while she is pretending to take a shower, shit and shave. Quick check in the bathroom mirror for nose residue and you are good to go on another shift or night out off the boat. It was standard practice in my former work camp that I shared close quarters with several drug users who tried to pretend they were not users. We all knew he was using but all pretended it wasn’t happening.
I’m with you about Georgia, SD!
I’m not sure which is more annoying:
Georgia justifying her behavior while simultaneously praising herself (I’m vivacious! I like to test boundaries!) – or Paget allowing it and participating (to a point).
It’s so disrespectful to Ciara. Paget needs to tell Georgia to drop the act.
I’m almost surprised that Georgia isn’t going for Byron – who’s married. Maybe the thrill is doing it right in front of the significant other.
Is Jenna Caroline’s big sister?
Wow, Jenna. Think she’s cringing while watching this?
And a guest who prefers to smell rather than eat her food!?!
I live on sunlight and air only!
That’s a plant, you idiot! (Her, not you!!)
I’m impressed at how confident Ciara is…I mean if I walked up to my husband staring at the breasts of a half naked woman, I would definitely be a tad territorial. Haha but instead, Ciara says Georgia is a free woman and can do whatever she wants – including flirt with Paget. Ciara is growing on me!
I wonder if the cocaine belongs to one of the guests and the editors are just messing with us. I don’t like Jenna. She does nothing. Yes Kate and Hanna at times we harsh with their stews but they always helped with all of the work, especially Katie. There is no way Kate would have let one of the other stews do the beach set up. Jenna hands out tasks with no direction so no matter what Madison and Georgia do Jenna sets them up to fail. Jenna pulled Madison from cleaning rooms to make a cup of coffee which she could have done herself instead of throwing herself at Adam. Madison is getting annoying and I’m not sure if her quality of work is as good as she thinks it is but Jennas constant interruptions during her duties has got to be incredibly distracting. I don’t get why Jenna doesn’t pull Georgia off of laundry for the times she needs help instead of dragging Madison from one thing to the next. I love Byron, I think that’s his name. He stays out of the drama and is kind and fair to everyone.
I meant to say this seasons ago, but it grosses me out when they pull in people to help carry dinner plates to the table–stews who have just been straightening things in bathrooms, deckhands who have been doing who knows what. Yuck! I just don’t have warm fuzzies that they all carefully washed their hands before touching those dinner plates. (I’ve always been a bit of a germaphobe, so I’m hoping one silver lining from this terrible coronavirus epidemic is that everyone learns they need to wash their hands.)