Wait, why is this stupid Pump Rules Recap going until 10:36? I have two actually good shows that come on at ten. For Life and New Amsterdam. This better not be because of a fucking WWHL episode. Everyone is star struck over Lance Bass. Jax is hung the fuck over. I am going to try to zip through this. I do love Mamaw though. I miss my Mamaw. I also feel bad for Kristen and Carter. I want a happy ending for Kristen.
Does LVP think she is attending the Kentucky Derby WTF with that hat? And who wears black to a wedding? She is being such a bitch about the bride and groom. Lance Bass is hot AF. Sandoval is the best best man ever. The wedding is gorgeous and surprisingly classy. Brittany looks stunning walking down the stairs. Jax places his father’s ashes (that his company apparently paid for because Jax is a POS) on a chair of honor. Nice touch for the doucebag who let his dad’s employees pay for the funeral ALLEGEDLY and send support to his mother.
Here We Go!
Meanwhile, Brittany’s best laid plans since Vegas are FINALLY paying off. She’s on a TV show. She’s getting married. She doesn’t even care if it is to Jason Cauchi. She might even love him by now. I hope she does. It’s a beautiful wedding. My old cynical ass is a bit touched. Jax cries. I love how she is marrying “Jason.” I have to say the vows are kind of sweet. It was a beautiful wedding. Brittany’s dress was Gorgeous!
I really do not care about Max and Dayna’s failing relationship. But I do care about Raquel. And she seems so said.
What I do not care about is that Katie and Schwartz are not legally married until they do it on Bravo AGAIN. Seriously. Why is this a thing? And why is LVP wearing a hat INSIDE and white glove as all? Shut up Lisa.
Meanwhile Back At The Ranch
Danica has to blow into a breathalyzer on her car? Yet, she is trying to blow up Dayna’s relationship with Max? Please, Max is a douchebag, but no one gives a shit about your opinion. And why does Raquel look like she is going to bust out in tears at any moment during this conversation. Dayna is in denial that Max i cheating do we care? Danya is all in. Again, who dares?
Meanwhile Back At Kentucky Castle…
Stassi is already planning her wedding. This will be hard to beat. Schwartz gives a sweet speech . A very long speech. Basically, Lala makes it al l about her. Lala is a cunt. EVERYONE NEEDS TO SELF QUARANTINE! I want to have Kristen and Carter get back together. This is so sad.
Jax is pissed because his friends are paying for drinks. lol. Jax is not paying for any of this ..Tom brings out the vodka. Really?Story line.
If you have read this far. All my everything HURTS. And I do not care about the new people.