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You are here: Home / Vanderpump Rules / Pump Rules Recap: Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Cauchi

Pump Rules Recap: Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Cauchi

March 17, 2020 by tamaratattles 23 Comments

Pump RulesWait, why is this stupid Pump Rules Recap going until 10:36? I have two actually good shows that come on at ten. For Life  and New Amsterdam. This better not be because of a fucking WWHL episode. Everyone is star struck over Lance Bass. Jax is hung the fuck over. I am going to try to zip through this. I do love Mamaw though. I miss my Mamaw. I also feel bad for Kristen and Carter. I want a happy ending for Kristen.

Does LVP think she is attending the Kentucky Derby WTF with that hat? And who wears black to a wedding? She is being such a bitch about the bride and groom. Lance Bass is hot AF. Sandoval is the best best man ever. The wedding is gorgeous and surprisingly classy. Brittany looks stunning walking down the stairs. Jax places his father’s ashes (that his company apparently paid for because Jax is a POS) on a chair of honor. Nice touch for the doucebag who let his dad’s employees pay for the funeral ALLEGEDLY and send support to his mother.

Here We Go!

Meanwhile, Brittany’s best laid plans since Vegas are FINALLY paying off. She’s on a TV show. She’s getting married. She doesn’t even care if it is to Jason Cauchi. She might even love him by now. I hope she does.  It’s a beautiful wedding. My old cynical ass is a bit touched. Jax cries. I love how she is marrying “Jason.” I have to say the vows are kind of sweet. It was a beautiful wedding. Brittany’s dress was Gorgeous!

I really do not care about Max  and Dayna’s failing relationship. But I do care about Raquel. And she seems so said.

Pump RulesWait What?

What I do not care about is that Katie and Schwartz  are not legally married until they do it on Bravo AGAIN. Seriously. Why is this a thing? And why is LVP wearing a hat INSIDE and white glove as all? Shut up Lisa.

Meanwhile Back At The Ranch

Danica has to blow into a breathalyzer on her car? Yet, she is trying to blow up Dayna’s relationship with Max? Please,  Max is a douchebag, but  no one gives a shit about your opinion.  And why does Raquel look like she is going to bust out in tears at  any  moment during this conversation. Dayna is in denial that Max i cheating do we care? Danya is all in. Again, who dares?

Recap Pump RulesMeanwhile Back At Kentucky  Castle…

Stassi is already planning her wedding. This will be hard to beat. Schwartz gives a sweet speech . A very long speech. Basically, Lala makes it al l about her. Lala is a cunt. EVERYONE NEEDS TO SELF QUARANTINE! I want to have Kristen and Carter get back together. This is so sad.

Jax is pissed because his friends are paying for drinks. lol. Jax is not paying for any of this ..Tom brings out the vodka. Really?Story line.

If you have read this far. All my everything HURTS.  And I do not care about the new people.

 

 

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Filed Under: Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: Ariana Madix, Brett Caprioni, Brittany Cartwright, Brittany Cartwright-Cauchi, Charli Burnett, Danica Dow, Dayna Kathan, James Kennedy, Jax Taylor, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, Kristen Doute, Lala Kent, Lisa Vanderpump, Max Boyens, Pump Rules, Randall Emmett, Raquel Leviss, Scheana Shay, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Vanderpump Rules

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Harlan says

    March 17, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    Brittany looked beautiful at the wedding ceremony. Meanwhile, back in WeHo, that Charli makes me grind my teeth!

    Reply
  2. Nanette says

    March 17, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    The new people are a snoozefest. But without SUR, LVP has no storyline. Plus, she needs to play at being queen. I have 1.5 hours to go before this shiteshow.

    Reply
    • BeetsWhy says

      March 18, 2020 at 11:06 am

      I would much rather have seen more of the reception than the bits with the boring new people. They all need to be recast.

      Reply
  3. LakeCarly says

    March 17, 2020 at 10:52 pm

    Beautiful wedding–always fun to see the dresses, hairdos, etc.
    Lala, desperately wanting others, besides Randall, to see her tearing up–such self-absorption. Hey, Lala, the bridegroom’s father was missing as well–as are many people’s fathers.
    I’m a major dog lover but I don’t want one at a fancy dinner table, much less the kitchen table–sorry, Giggy, I know you get dragged around, not by your choice.
    The new people are all robots; expression- and emotion-less.

    Reply
  4. kete05 says

    March 17, 2020 at 11:38 pm

    Beautiful wedding despite the stupid castle in the middle of Kentucky. Just not my thing.

    Aside from that, I just don’t care. Right now I am feeling like there is so much actual shit to worry about that my shows need to at least be entertaining. VPR is just pissing me off and I have been bored for a few weeks. The whole thing is played out and they are trying to refresh with the new people. But I don’t care about the new people. Soooooo……I need to cut the cord. Le sigh.

    I did feel bad for Lala in her “scene” but she really sucks.

    Reply
  5. Kipper says

    March 18, 2020 at 12:12 am

    I am thrilled to hear LVP did show (giggle), I was worried I wouldn’t get to see her in a new hat and gloves with a dressed up dog and Ken Todd in tow! I’m a little behind (pun intended). I know LVPs mother passed but I thought I remembered something TT said that she was at the Kentucky Castle wedding! I saw pictures of the interior, honestly, it does seem like a very nice venue for a wedding if you’re into the whole princess thing.

    I love a good wedding honestly, everyone is at their prettiest, ready to party and play, why not?

    Reply
  6. Joey says

    March 18, 2020 at 8:27 am

    Yes, Kristen had a happy ending the night of the wedding! We heard Cater say they had sex. The previews for the coming episodes look good. I am over Jax’s twitter rants. This show needs to go away. Plus, I can’t stand Katie. She adds NOTING to this show, yet thinks everything is all about her. How crazy young did they all look in past scenes? Stassi had a lot of work done. What will be funny is when they have kids and the kids don’t look like them. They will look like their parents before plastic surgery.

    Reply
    • BeetsWhy says

      March 18, 2020 at 11:03 am

      You laugh at their kids not looking like them but that was one of the reasons I chose not to have kids, for real. I didn’t want my original nose passed down! Mind you it was only a very small part of the decision but it was part ?

      Reply
      • Joey says

        March 18, 2020 at 11:14 am

        I apologize if I offended you. That was not my intention. Many days I tell my kids they remind me why animals eat their young. lol I can see both sides of the child debate.

        Reply
  7. LA_in_KY says

    March 18, 2020 at 9:32 am

    LVP looks like she in dressed for Millionaires Row at the Derby.

    Reply
    • BB says

      March 18, 2020 at 1:07 pm

      Experienced Derby Girl here. I’m sorry, but NOPE. Those people don’t look that tacky!! One thing that has always really me is that, when Lisa wears a big hat, it is always a cheap one. They actually look like the ones the older ladies in the grandstand wear, covered in Dollar Store flowers and tulle. (see her Pride looks for examples) Don’t get me wrong – I buy inexpensive hats and add my own flowers, feathers, whatever, but I mimic the expensive hats that I see. With all of her damned diamonds and rose you’d think she could get a decent hat.

      Reply
      • LA_in_KY says

        March 18, 2020 at 4:01 pm

        She looks ridiculous.

        Reply
    • 4paz says

      March 18, 2020 at 1:07 pm

      She says she wears large hats to keep people away.

      Reply
  8. Judith Vance says

    March 18, 2020 at 11:27 am

    elaborate on jax, father’s demise, mother’s support, employees’ paying for funeral, how did jax end up with the ashes?

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      March 18, 2020 at 12:58 pm

      Jax’s father died of cancer. Apparently the mom didn’t tell Jax and his sister how bad it was (father’s wish). Instead of seeing his sick dad (his best friend so he says) during the holidays, he went to Kentucky. His father died after that and he blames his mother. Dad had a life insurance policy with the children as the beneficiaries. They took the money and left none to the mom for burial expenses. Jax bought Kentucky’s ring with the money.

      The company that he worked for did a Go Fund Me so they could have a service. Jax probably wanted the ashes (to use as a prop) so his mom gave them to him.

      As you can tell, I HATE Jax. He’s a terrible son and his father would be ashamed of him.

      Reply
      • Judith Vance says

        March 18, 2020 at 3:51 pm

        OMG! jax’s actions are of someone who has always been taken care of, not someone who takes care of others. good luck with him, brittany. thanks ktina.

        Reply
        • Mmmmmmia says

          March 18, 2020 at 11:32 pm

          This is really bad. Funerals don’t have to be very expensive. That’s part of what life insurance is intended to cover. Plus doesn’t Jax make a lot of money? The average cost of a funeral is like 7k. He couldn’t have gotten a ring carat smaller of cut 7k from the engagement party or wedding budget? I am not getting paid close to what I imagine he makes in a year and I still could make coming up with 7k happen, without turning to my fathers coworkers.

          Reply
        • Ktina says

          March 19, 2020 at 9:56 am

          Brittany will either stay and take the abuse or have a couple of BAYBEEEEESSS, divorce him and make him pay her child support. I’m trying to figure out if she has low self esteem or has a plan. Jax is a walking STD

          Reply
  9. Mmmmmia says

    March 18, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    Could you imagine getting shitfaced the night before your 100k wedding? I wouldn’t drink two nights prior, so I could exercise, meditate, stretch, rest, and hydrate so I could look and feel beautiful. I’d also cut one of the party days from the beginning and tack it onto the end so folks would have time to recover from the wedding and can take their time packing. I’m glad they got the wedding they wanted though. I thought the murder mystery was fun, and it was nice they were able to stay in the venue. The cake was pretty too.

    Reply
  10. tasha says

    March 18, 2020 at 11:32 pm

    Tried watching the episode. I couldn’t get through it.

    Reply
  11. Judith Ruby says

    March 19, 2020 at 7:10 am

    This show is unwatchable. Lisa/Ken/Giggy are in direct competition with The Cauchis (hah!) for most obnoxious. Brittany, do you have to scream constantly- anytime or anywhere.
    I am older and lost my mother years ago but still talk to her all the time. Lisa has the funeral postponed so she could make her grand Easter Parade hat entrance? That was so predictable because it is all about her. Despicable.
    Why was I so dumb as to watch this? Please let it be cancelled.
    Love you, TT – be well and safe everyone.

    Reply
  12. boo says

    March 19, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    i saw part of it, lucky me (haha) it happened to be when they showed lala and randall… sorry not sorry but she looks straight up like an “escort”… walk the walk… talk the talk. stassi’s face looks so bloated and she doesn’t look pretty to me. katie is so frumpy and always kissing lisa’s ass… sandoval is a great best man but yet jaxass of course had to talk shit… cannot stand that grandpa who thinks he is all that, YUK.

    besides that, i hope everyone is staying safe ?

    Reply
  13. Venus says

    March 19, 2020 at 10:51 pm

    People have been wearing black at weddings for about 2 decades now.
    I personally still do NOT like it, but it is no longer considered inappropriate.

    Reply

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