I am going to get started on the latest 90 Day Fiancé recap but it is a two hour episode and I am feeling a bit unwell today so this could take a while.
Stephanie & Erika
Stephanie’s family think it is strange that Stephanie is going to visit a friend in Australia. She did not mention that she is bisexual and romantically involved with Erika. Stephanie is hoping for an engagement at the end of this. Stephanie has a aplastic anemia and has to take a lot of meds with her. This is a very serious disease. Does Erika not know this? Stephanie has been celibate for quite some time. Does Erika know that Erika know that?
Lisa & Usman
We start in Nigeria with Lisa and Usman in bed and I am wondering where they are. I presume they are staying in a hotel because I think Usman and his roommates all share one bed! We learn more than we needed to about their sexual activity the evening before. Apparently there is no oral sex in Nigeria. Usman says that Lisa meets 70% of his expectations and that is good enough for him. Condoms are apparently not a thing either. At breakfast with Usman’s bros we find out that Usman is not going to marry Lisa without the blessing of his mother.
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Lisa talks to Usman like he is a child. Yet she plans to marry Usman while she is there. It’s time to pack up and meet his mom. She is obsessed with his Instagram friends. Kaduna is more of a third world country than the town she flew into. Dirt roads and livestock seem to be a bigger deal than the music industry. I really think their place is pretty decent for a bachelor pad. You can tell someone has cleaned it. But Lisa is very critical. But then we get to the bathroom. The shower is basically a bucket. But they are going to stay at a hotel.
Usman is very worried about bringing Lisa around his mother and his music industry friends with her bad attitude.
Varya & Geoffery
In case you missed it, the Internet is going crazy about Geoffrey Pashel being on this show. He has a terrible past history of being physically abusive to his FOUR previous wives. There was a mysterious death of his one year old son while in his care. And at least one of his former wives claims he threatened to kill her and raped her on numerous occasions. I am worried for Varya. click the link above for all the details. At least she had him sleep in a hotel alone.
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These two get along a lot better than they did on their first day. Geoff is already trying to get her out into the woods of Tennessee. Varya wants to live in a big city. He also wants her to spend the night with him. She decides to go back to his room with him. The next morning, we learn that Geoffrey has weird nipple tattoos. Varya also throws away his comb because it has his ex-wife’s name written on it. I wonder which ex-wife that is? He takes it out of the trash and washes it. This is an issue. Later, they go to Varya’s city. And then we get to go to Siberia to meet her mom! Varya’s apartment is… um…sparse. Geoff clearly thinks he is getting scammed. Oh how scammers hate to be scammed.
Rosemarie & Ed
I am loving that we get to see so much of the foreign cities. I can’t believe that Ed has only been talking to Rose for three months before traveling. Ed gets separate beds for them at the hotel. The room has two beds pushed together. Ed wants Rose to take an STD test before they have sex. Rose wants to sleep just to stop Ed from talking non-stop. Ed also plans to propose on this trip. Sigh.
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Ed takes Rose shopping and she just grabs money right out of his wallet to pay for things and tells the guy to keep the change. Ed is not having that. Also, Ed is miserable. Manila is very hot. Rose keeps wanting to buy more things. Ed is starting to question Rose’s motives. Um Ed, come on man. You have to know that this relationship is based on finances. She is dirt poor! Ed is miserably hot and frustrated with Rose. Ed wants to go back to the room.
Avery & Ash
Avery has arrived in Melbourne, Australia after a very long flight. They have been talking online for nine months. Ash gives me a creepy vibe. I believe he is the one whose florist told production that Ash is one of his best customers and buys a lot of flowers for a lot of women. They make out immediately in the airport.
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Avery is shocked that in Australia people drive on the left side of the road. Also Ash supposedly lives with “his brother” who insisted they get an AirBnB. I think Ash just doesn’t want all his other women showing up at the house. Even if he really is interested in Avery, he has surely been getting laid consistently for the last nine months somewhere. Avery informs Ash he will be sleeping in the second bedroom alone for now. Then he presents Avery with black roses. Creepy. But she likes him. He also gives her bracelets with their names on him. Apparently, Avery has broken up with Ash three times in their nine months of online dating. She already doesn’t trust Ash.
Lana & David
David is rich? Or maybe financially foolish? He is shopping for $400,000 RVs. Ah, he plans to live in the RV full time. Lana is 27 and from the Ukraine. He is sixty. She looks like a model. They met on a dating site seven years ago. They only chat on the dating site. It’s a pay by the minute site. Oh, David. He’s spent over $100,000 on the website. This guy is getting fleeced. This is totally a scam.
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His friends try to prepare him for what is to come. But he is deaf to their concerns. Even though he has flown to meet her three times and she has ghosted him each time. And one of his friends is a female from Ukraine who knows the situation. I feel sorry for David. One of the pillow talk ladies from Georgia recently said, “You have to play in your league.” And he is being played and probably talking to a man. Hell, he has never heard her voice. I feel bad for David. Oh wait, David has another friend in Ukraine who is married. She is also talking sense to him. He still doesn’t listen.
Darcey & Tom
Apparently, Darcey has been on 90 Day Fiancé before and she got dumped by that guy. It seem Tom is going to dump him again.
Next week Geoff and Varya fight. Yolanda starts to have concerns about her “British” boyfriend after his Instagram is totally deleted after she plans her trip. Ash has really huge bug eyes ans Avery seems to be freaking the fuck out about something.
For starters, I hope you’re feeling better.
Ash has crazy eyes. I think Avery and Ash have potential. Avery is worried about meeting the brother.
Lisa and Usman…ugh! Every time she’s being physical with him I throw up in my mouth a little bit. There is not one reason they will work out.
I feel so sorry for Darcy. She and her sister used to be naturally attractive. They have turned themselves into caricatures. In their quest for beauty perfection they are actually ugly now, imo. I think the only reason she is on is for the money and publicity. Sad.
Speaking of enhancements, Stephanie is sure proud of hers. Her boobs are always one sneeze away from falling out. I don’t really care much about these two. I think she’s making a foolish decision to travel like she is.
Geoffrey seems to have a very troubled past, if what I’ve read is true. If it is he’s the poster child for why you should be cautious meeting someone online irl. If you can meet a dude with a history of violence against women on a TV show, god knows what else is out there.
David is a complete idiot.
Yolanda appears to be scamming TLC if what I’ve read is true. I sensed something off about her from the get go.
💯
Good point about Yolanda.
Who is this Yolanda person?
Yolanda, I believe that’s her name, is supposedly in a relationship with a guy, Wiiliams, from the UK. His pictures are model pictures. Classic catfish scenario. Their whole thing was fishy from the start. His accent is clearly Nigerian, not English, although Yolanda says it’s a sexy English accent. From the first episode a lot of things weren’t adding up for me with them. There was something about her that seemed fake. Soon after the season started I read a lot of reports that said Yolanda knows William’s isn’t who they say he is and is just doing the show to promote her weight loss program and whatever else. So it’s clear that Williams isn’t the guy in the pictures and we don’t know what else she/he is lying about.
Thanks. I had forgotten about her. There are a lot of people on this season.
In season one I thought for sure one lady was being catfishes and was beyond surprised that this gorgeous Spanish model was a real person. So you never know?
No Yolandas guy has been shown to be a catfish. The pictures are from a model that is pissed his pictures were stolen by the Nigerian catfish. There’s also some inkling that Yolanda and the catfish are making up their whole relationship for Yolanda to be in the show to sell her book. She is only on the show for this. I’ve heard producers at TLC are now aware they’re the ones being catfished by Yolanda so it’ll be interesting to see how far TLC lets this BS storyline play out
I’m betting Stephanie and Erika became friends on Instagram and decided that a good way to get more followers would be to pretend to be in a relationship and get on the show. Both seem to be major attention seekers.
David doesn’t ask himself why his Ukranian girlfriend can only communicate with him by writing on an uber-expensive dating site yet there’s no technical problem with full-on FaceTiming with his other Ukranian friend.
Ash is extremely disturbing. Obviously, with his nice little Audi, he does well as a “relationship coach”, whatever that is. I mean, it looks like women pay to have him call them, flirt with them and then spout some tired cliches about love. I think you’re right, TT, that his brother is just an excuse to keep her from his place.
Finally, I don’t know why but I still like to see the Darcy/Stacy scenes.
Feel better, TT!
You can skip watching this show and just watch Pillow Talk. It highlights all the important stuff. Plus, it is my #1 show of the week. I literally laugh out loud at the shenanigans. When Annie was trying to say Happy St. Patrick’s Day was hilarious. And David is correct, the other David is probably talking to an old, fat white man. It should be a red flag when you spend $100,000 on a website. Or traveling to Ukraine 3 times and never meeting the woman. Why do Americans continue to fall for these catfish?
I am not sure why Darcy wants the world to see her so desperate. I wish she would get therapy to realize she is worthy of a decent man, and she doesn’t need all the enhancements.
Ash gives me the creeps There is nothing appealing about him that I can see and. every time I watch him and those bulging eyes i wonder if he has Hyperthyroidism or Graves Disease. Ed. I hope he can find happiness with having that disability
I love this show and i’m so happy you’re recapping it! Lana is totally scamming David. 3 times he visits and she ghosts him. Also poor Ed!
I really like watching Usman and his friends together. They’re funny. But I thought it was nice that even though the friends may not agree that Usman should be with Lisa, they are supporting him. Like you said, they had obviously cleaned up their house. Then they helped him get the hotel room ready and got dressed up and went to the airport with Usman to pick her up, and helped her with her bags. It cracked me up when Giant asked Usman if he could hug Lisa at the airport. Then when Usman told him no, he didn’t. I hope we get to see more of them together, and that it doesn’t fall apart over Lisa.
I thought giant was so sweet. The three of them are hilarious.