I am really behind on my MAFS Recaps. It’s hard to tell how far because I have eleventy billion versions of each episode. So I am going to get started on it now, at 2:22 am because I am awake and am not planning to leave the house except to go buy wine some time later today. Then, I am self quarantining for the foreseeable future. The first two hour taping I have starts with Michael being the world’s worst liar. That was the last episode I recapped here. Moving on…
The couples go to a group cooking class. Zach still hasn’t moved in to the apartment with Mindy. Derek and Katie are still fine. Meka and Michael seem kind of miserable. But at least they are there. Taylor and Brandon are MIA.Meka and Michael give very limited information about why Taylor and Brandon were not there. But Katie had already seen video so they have a conversation. It seems most agree that Taylor is a twat. Jessica and Austin feel uncomfortable talking about how well things are going for them. Zach of all people suggests that their positive situation is helpful to the rest of them.
Taylor & Brandon
Dr. Pepper FINALLY decides to meet with these two. Brandon hasn’t seen Taylor since he left. He tells Dr. Pepper that he is only there for an explanation from Taylor about what she did. Taylor claims she hasn’t done anything to him and she has not idea why he left. She is such a liar. Then she has an attitude and says that she did make a video but it wasn’t directed at him and she didn’t direct at him and she didn’t do anything wrong.
I know Brandon has been a dick, but I hate Taylor. Brandon says that she is just there for the cameras and followers. I agree. Taylor will not apologize because she is not sorry. Brandon says he is done. Brandon says she goes to bars and guys call the house. She calls him a liar. Brandon leaves. Taylor is playing the victim game and fake crying. Shut up Taylor. This is not going to get you any acting roles. I hope we have seen the last of her.
The One Month Anniversary
Sadly, we have not seen the last of Taylor. Apparently, they held these two in captivity in two different apartment. Brandon tells us that Taylor has reached out to him
trying to get her air time back to give it one more shot. She has not apologized and Brandon isn’t really into it but they meet for lunch. WTF? It’s not lunch, it’s a manicure. This is so Taylor. Pastor Cal has done lost his mind. We need all new experts that are actually experts. And we need open cattle calls again, and no more casting media whores from Instagram.
Taylor got him a card because “they have known each other for a month.” Nope. According to the show you have been married for a month. In the card she gave a half-assed apology. Brandon is not buying it and neither am I. He asks if she has anything to get off her chest. She says no. She is trying to get rid of any animosity she has toward him. REALLY? She feels like he just doesn’t let things go.
The arguments start anew. It is the same old, same old. She says he makes the video about him. Below I talk about sociopathy with regard to Michael. I think Taylor ticks the most boxes in that regard. Brandon says he doesn’t want to continue on with this. He slyly mentions that he is glad they got to have this conversation on TV. Michael leaves.
Mindy & Zach
Dr. Pepper meets with these two. I’m not sure it is going to go that much better. In this couple, Zach is just there to be on TV. This needs to end soon. But Zach doesn’t want to leave…the cameras. Dr. Pepper is on to Zach. She basically tells him to move in or go home. Wow. I guess he will be moving in. She tells them to go to a tantric yoga breathing exercise.
The One Month Anniversary
These two go to dinner for their anniversary. Mindy brings up the wedding. Zach focuses on the photo shoots. Mindy suggests he try spending the night and see how that goes. Mindy says it feels like a slap in the face to her that he isn’t keeping his commitment. She asks him if he has a girlfriend, or if he is gay. Ooooh He doesn’t like that question.
Then he accuses Mindy of not being honest with him throughout the whole experience….ooooh do tell! Zach says that he knows that before the wedding, while they were at Panama and afterward she did something deceitful. He says he has know the whole time and that is why he doesn’t think she is truly giving the relationship her honest effort. Zach says all of her friends facilitated it. Mindy has no idea what he is talking about.
Zach Was Accusing Mindy Of Something He Was Doing!
Later that day, Mindy is going through their wedding photos. Each couple received them on their anniversary. She calls Zach to come over and he agrees. Because, cameras. Zach of course loves the photo album. Because, pictures of him. Zach is in a great mood. Mindy is really upset. Zach refuses to tell her what he is accusing her of.
Since he has indicated her friends are somehow complicit, she asks if he has reached out to them. He says Lindsey has reached out to him. She followed him on Instagram and when she noticed him not wearing his ring, she DMed him. He talked to her on the phone extensively about the marriage. Mindy feels betrayed by both of them. Mindy asks if Lindsey said something that upset him and that is what an issue is? He has never called Mindy on the phone before, but he calls Lindsey? What a total douchebag. Then he just leaves. This is bizarre.
With Friends Like This…
Oh God. Here we go with the “friend” call. I hate this already. Mindy has been through so much without some backstabbing POS friend. Mindy starts the conversation by saying that she can forgive Lindsay even before she hears what she has done. No. This bitch needs to be out of your life forever.
She’s having more communication with your husband than you are! She probably talked to him first before this call. She says that Zach texted her this morning. He was wishing her a happy Friday and telling her good morning. I would kill them both. He calls her after their dates to discuss them with her. I am furious and I am not even involved in this. She says she is building a friendship with him beyond conversations about Mindy. Oh, suddenly she doesn’t have any of the texts. Someone is lying.
Lindsey slips up and says she told him she didn’t want to talk to him anymore….UNTIL FILMING IS OVER. Then she said she was not going to talk to him when filming is over. She also said she deleted his texts so she wouldn’t have his number. Now she is saying she is going to block his number right now. She says he is a liar and a sociopath. Well, one of them is. And as sketchy as Zach is, my money is on Lindsey. The is awful. It’s one thing to cheat. It’s another to do it with your wife’s close friend.
Meka & Michael
Just when I thought Michael could not be a stupider liar he tops himself. This time he invited Meka to join him for yoga. This was an off camera activity thought up by Michael. Michael told her that he teaches yoga there. That was a lie. Now how are you going to take someone to a yoga studio where you don’t teach and expect not to be found out? Meka takes him to lunch to confront him. When she says Michael would not discuss the situation with her at the time, he says that is because she started the conversation wrong by saying it was a waste of her time. Michael is pissy because she talked to Brandon. Somehow he ends up screaming at Meka. She is over his lying. He is over her. Great. Let’s end this one too!
And so, Dr. Pepper shows up. Michael makes up a brand new lie about the yoga lie. By the way, Meka said the employees she spoke to says that Michael cleans the rooms. He’s a janitor there. Michael says he doesn’t have his own personal class, but he is a substitute. And the reason the management didn’t know this is because they have a lot of turnover with the managers at the yoga school. I don’t think Micheal is a teacher either. I don’t think anything he said is true. In the package, probably called Michael’s lies, he told Pastor Cal he teaches yoga three times a week. He told Dr. Pepper that he practices two or three times a week and teaches once a month. Dr. Pepper gets Michael to admit that some of the things he says are not true.
Their One Month Anniversary
The other episode I have is also 58 minutes long and it is the anniversary episode. Meka gives Michael a pack of three ties because he says he is most comfortable in a suit. Fun fact: Teachers do not wear suits to work. Nor do most principals. Or cleaning personnel at yoga studios. Michael announces on camera that he has bought tickets for them to go to Jamaica and swim with dolphins.
He’s lying. First of all, I doubt production would approve this trip. Second of all, you can’t afford that as a janitor at a yoga studio. And finally, he has no tickets, nor does he pull up anything on his phone to show where they or going. Ha! Meka doesn’t believe him either. She says in her talking head, “Honestly, I hope this is not too good to be true.” This guy is a pathological liar. Everything he says is a lie. How do people do this even when everyone knows they are lying? It’s a sickness. He is mentally ill. Pathological lying is a symptom of sociopathy. I believe they changed the name of that since I went to school, but it is what it is. However, while Michael meets some of the criteria, he lacks the charm and intelligence of a sociopath. So I don’t know wtf this dude’s problem is.
Katie and Derek
Look, I get we haven’t had any camera time with these two in quite a while, but I need to see Mindy calling her “friend” right now. Not this cutesy stuff. Derek is a sweet heart. He had some of the wedding photos framed. He made a photo album of them and some of their family photos. These two are cute. But, I know a secret about Katie. She is deceptive.
Next time, they have a “commitment day.” I presume they are getting ready for the pre-decision day trip and trying to save money on tickets. We have not seen Jessica and Austen except at the cooking event. They didn’t say much. It seems like next week, we find out what split them up. This episode is a clusterfuck, but it sure is interesting.