I do not talk about The Bachelor here at all because there are so many leaks that people know the ending before it even happens. I imagine there were few of them this season. This season was such a SHIT SHOW that I just have to comment on it. I just got off the phone with my sister and we were both heated about the level of douchebaggery this season. Okay mostly me, but she brought it up!
Peter is the WORST bachelor since Juan Pablo! He’s actually even worse that Juan Pablo because Juan Pablo wore his jackassery like a badge of honor. Peter was on the previous season of The Bachelorette. He had sex with The Bachelorette several times both in a windmill and in the fantasy suite. He was portrayed as the nice got that got away. Hannah chose the loser musician who was only on the show to promote his music. When they left the show, she found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. And he found out the girlfriend had dumped him.
Madison Is A Fame Whore
So Peter the co-pilot ( think he works for Delta, I do NOT want to see him in my cockpit). Anyway, Peter had been stringing around a lot of girls and then they got to the hometowns. One was certifiably insane so he got rid of her. She turned out to be some sort of serial homewrecker or something in her town. He broke another ones heart. And then after sleeping with all of them except for Madison, he narrowed it down to Madison and Hannah Ann and some other girl.
Madison told Peter that if he had sex with the other girls in the fantasy suites she was out. He told her he had sexual relations with the other women in the fantasy suites. Oh and Madison claims to be a virgin who is saving herself for marriage. I image we will be hearing more about that from some guy or guys in Alabama eventually. So Madison took her virginity and left the show. Only to show up at the rose ceremony where the herd was culled from 3 to two. This left Madison and Hannah Ann. Hannah Ann was his first impression rose recipient. The guy gives that rose on the very first night when there are 25 or more cows in the herd. It is pretty irrelevant when given out by a bachelorette, but the bachelors very often end up with that person.
Mama Knows Best
Hannah Ann put up with all of Peter’s shit. They both agree she was his rock. When Peter’s family met the two options everyone loved Hannah Ann and hated Madison. Especially, Peter’s mother, Barb. On last night’s finale we found out why the family could barely be civil. Usually the family embraces both options. But it appears that Madison was a cunt with an attitude with Peter’s mother. Plus, Madison delayed the scene for three hours because she didn’t want to do it. Madison claims that she if very religious, a virgin, does not party, and doesn’t share any of Peter’s interest. Peter’s interest include fucking in windmills, fucking in fantasy suites, drinking and fucking, and fucking flight attendants on layovers. Allegedly. Even Peter’s brother was like, are you really not going to have sex until whenever the wedding happens? The parent both told Peter that they have nothing in common.
Hannah Ann Dodged A Bullet
Hannah Ann is practically a saint in comparison. She is in love with Peter. Madison is in love with being on the show. So, at the end of the season, Madison left before the final rose ceremony. So Peter proposes to Hannah Ann. Yay! They get engaged. They drink wine. Then, they talked about their happily ever after.
Then back home Peter decides he wants the other one. He has “given his heart to two people.” He is confused. So Hannah Ann dumps his ass and gives him the ring back. EVEN THOUGH WE WATCHED THAT FOOTAGE Harrison kept saying Peter broke up with Hannah Ann. NO. He. Did. Not. Peter was assuring both girls that she was the one he was going to pick even though he can’t say that, he was saying it in other ways. He was all over them both right up until Madison took off.
So then Chris Harrison goes to wherever Madison lives and drags her back to the secret house where Peter hides until the show airs and he tells her he loves her and she loves him too. Then she comes on the final last night and Barb, Peter’s mother tells everyone what a giant bitch she was to them and throughout filming and that Peter is ruining his whole stupid life. AND SHE WAS RIGHT. He should have picked Hannah Ann! Yet all the stupid Bachelor Nation asswipes in the audience were on Madison’s side! BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL AWFUL HUMANS TOO!
And it was all horrible and Barb finally just says that there is no reasoning with the idiot son she raised and he is just going to have to fail before he can succeed. So Peter is going to be all alone because Madison doesn’t give two shits about Peter, she was just on the show for Instagram followers. And Hannah Ann looked Peter dead in the eye and told him they were D O N E. So Peter s going to be whacking off alone in windmills for quite some time.
If you are an idiot Madison supporter, please identify yourself so I can yell at you because I am irate about this. I get that The Bachelor has to give all the girls hope right up until they don’t get a rose, but Peter was a douchebag of the highest order and basically acted like he was head over heels in love with all of the final four. I’ve never seen a bachelor be so… manipulative. And if he gave is tiny heart to two people THEN HE SHOULD NOT HAVE PROPOSED TO HANNAH ANN.
SIGH. I’ll shut up now. BUT LADY GAGA AGREES WITH ME! She tweeted,”If Peter breaks up with Hannah Ann and proposes to Madison #StupidLove,” with a face-palm emoji. And yes I know that is her new single, but SHE IS STILL RIGHT!