I feel like it has been forever since I have seen this show. It’s kind of hard for me to do a Below Deck Sailing Yacht recap with so many shows airing right now. But I like this one and I am glad to have the time to recap it today. I was out in the world getting my head shrunk and getting stuff together to renew my passport. I am feeling the need to be ready to go. When we left off last week, Captain Glenn had left the docked vessel and headed on to shore for a bit. You would think it would be fine to do that while the crew was cleaning. You would be wrong. It was not properly tethered to the dock and it is banging into the dock with each wave that crashes. Someone’s head will roll for this. Probably, Paget’s but I already predict he will blame Parker. Parker is indeed a moron, but that is Paget’s responsibility to fix.
Madison is frustrated being in the middle of the drama between Georgia and Jenna. Jenna is of course in the galley throwing herself at Adam. Literally. Apparently she needed a hug before they start their usual shit talking about the stews. Production gives us one of those six shots of everyone working. I pause to see if Jenna is in the montage. Nope. She’d have to be doing something constructive for that to happen.
Siren Calls & Sad Stories
Captain Glenn calls for the preference sheet meeting and Jenna is seen emptying a trash can in one of the cabins. She must be exhausted! It’s a guys trip. The primary is from Long Island and I suspect some of the guests are from Jersey. As night falls, Ciara goes to bed. Georgia plays the guitar and sings on deck which is a siren call to Paget that he quickly answers. Most everyone heads to bed except for Madison and Byron who are chowing down on a very delicious looking cake.
Byron makes small talk. Madison gets oddly prickly when he asks why she left Michigan after she graduated. Madison tells us in a tearful interview that her sister was driving through Detroit with her friends preparing to go out to the movies. When they were stopped and another car pulled in front of them. A couple guys got out and shot “AK-47s” and shot up the car all the people in the car were shot but her sister was the only one who died. I don’t think she told Byron the story.
The THIRD Deck Hand Has Delusions of Intelligence
Parker, the third deck hand with no experience sure does seem to like to tell Paget, the lead deckhand with years of experience what to do. Parker asks Ciara to help him keep an eye on Parker. But, suggests she not be to bossy. Would he say that to a guy? Or even a girl who wasn’t his girlfriend. The “boys” arrive and I find them obnoxious before they even board the boat. Of course, Parker thinks they are fantastic. Birds of a douchey feather. They have multiple shots and tons of champagne before they even leave the dock. This is going to suuuuuck for the crew.
The douche bags spot a bar on the shore and of course must go drink there. It’s empty except for an older retired couple whose peace is about to be destroyed. Or not. Upset by a lack of audience, the stooges attempt to hop into the boat. One misses entirely (because wasted) and falls into the ocean losing his drink.
When the sails go up, the ones sober enough to notice do seem to appreciate the sails. The drunk ones unfortunate wake up do the the side to side movement of the boat. One starts demanding shrimp cocktail. When the hor d’oeuvres come out he skips right over the shrimp. These drunk morons could be in the closet of a frat house and it would not change the experience they are having at all. They are so blind drunk most of the time they don’t seem to know or care where they are.
The guys want to go to a club. So Jenna selected a sleaze bag club that opens at midnight and stays open until four. Paget suggests Ciara in front of Captain Glenn and Jenna and no one seems to have a problem with this idea other than me. The guys are loving the food. I am surprised they have tastebuds. Parker the third stew goes to bed. Paget and Ciara take the guys to shore. Paget mentions to the guys that Ciara is his girlfriend. I’m over watching Jenna throw herself at Adam and Adam’s rejections. They guys are headed back and they are hungry. They want a lot of food, but Adam is in bed. While Ciara goes to pick up the drunks, Madison puts out an assortment of junk food. They drunks fall all over themselves getting out of the boat. Then they demand cheeseburgers. Madison offers to cook them grilled cheese.
Please Put Me Down!
One of the charter guests decides to pick Madison up and use her as a weight to work out. She asked not to be picked up and then said “please put me down” several times. He ignored her and then when she walked off said, “don’t tell no one..” Another stupid meathead says, “what is she going to do, call the marine cops?” Oh it looks like that was douchebag PARKER who said that. Parker and Madison are supposed to be friends who flirt. All he was doing was bro-ing out on deck while everyone else worked. Madison doesn’t seem to know that Parker was all fine with what happened to her and so she goes to him for help. Madison is afraid to mention it to Jenna or the captain because she is worried it will effect the tip and they will all be mad at her. This infuriates me.
The douchebags go to the bar and bring back a DJ and bunch of drunken women. Madison is the only one working the deck. She needs to go wake Jenna the fuck up. One of the girls comes up and says to Madison something like, ” I hate to tell you this but…” And my DVR shuts off. I already watched and deleted Spy Games so I have no idea what happened. Do you?