All day long I have thought it was Saturday. Even when reminded it is Friday, my brain still kept functioning on Saturday time. So this Shahs of Sunset recap almost didn’t happen. I was prepping for another recap entirely and only by accident notice that Shahs was airing tonight. I see not a glimmer of MJ in the previews. I HAD BETTER SEE MJ, Tommy, and the baby, Bravo!
With Friends Like Reza…
We begin with morning breaking in Las Vegas. Reza feels like an elderly hooker who worked the strip all night. Destiney still had Sara’s brother, Saman Jeihooni, in her hotel room but she tells production she doesn’t remember much. That’s a lie. Also in exclusive Tamara Tattles news, my source says Saman will be in several upcoming episodes. They seem to think he appeals to the young women who watch the show on their phones. Do we have anyone from that demo here to weigh in on how you feel about Sam? I feel like that thought process happened in a man’s head.
Sam And Destiney come down for breakfast with Reza and Destiney’s mom. Because what one night stand doesn’t try for free breakfast with the mom the next day? Mommy comes in early, aka exactly when production tells her too and Destiney tries to pretend she is surprised. I wonder how many takes that took? I don’t see any acting awards in Destiney’s future. Fuckboy rapidly exits stage left with nary a muffin. I guess he had enough muffin last night. Of course Reza rats Destiney out to her mother. Because, Reza. Later, Destiney cries to her mom that she misses living closer to her.
Pottery Painting & Mike’s Fake Girlfriend (& Job)
Meanwhile, back in LA, Golnesa and her friend Yasmin go to one of those pottery painting places. Golnesa says there is nothing to do if she can’t smoke pot or drink. How about yoga, meditation, preparing healthy foods? That takes up a lot of time. Trust me. While painting, Golnesas says she wants to have lots of sex while she is pregnant. Also, a child, who dared to be in a kids’ environment made a couple of peeps and GG was complaining about the poor parenting. He could would never make noise if GG was raising him. She’s probably knife him.
Mike’s stunt date for this season must have negotiated a great contract with Ryan Seacreast Productions. She is with him in all kinds of scenes that don’t make sense. Like this take you fake girlfriend to work day scene. Later, Nema (who is getting a ton of face time) meets with Mike’s stunt girlfriend Paulina. She is upset about some things he said to Mike about her allowing her kids around Mike. Nema has all sort of information about Mike. He constantly bullies Nema. And he tried to steal a business from Mike and Sherv. Oh Look! It’s a flashback with Sherv! This is the only interesting thing this entire episode. Nema says if Mike can’t apologize, they can’t be friends.
[Nema takes a Persian dance lesson. Golnesa and Adam pet pussies.The point of the scenes is to let the people who were not in Vegas know that Destiney hooked up with Sam.]
It’s Time For The Grande Finale Scene
And there are knives. That is correct. Production as decided to put nine of them in a small kitchen, give them all knives, and call it a cooking contest. First, Paulina gets Mike all riled up in the car talking about her lunch with Nema. Of course Mike is enraged that Nema had lunch with his girlfriend without his permission. And you know, Paulina learning some facts about Mike. Then of course, Mike and Nema are put on the same team. One of the things they have to make is hummus. This is literally tossing three items in a blender. GG put cheese in the hummus and the chef says she likes it? NOE.
Reza randomly shouts out that Destiney slept with Sara’s brother in Vegas. As one does. Golnesa starts feeling ill and leaves. Everyone mocks her instead of checking on her. Finally, Destiney and Anita go after her and leave with her. Mike keeps running his dumb mouth. Finally, production clues them in on her pregnancy to shut Mike up. They pretend like they figured it out. Then Mike decides to come for Nema over the lunch issue. He is such a prick. He brings up Nema’s father. Then he leaves with Paulina. The party’s over.
Next week: We FINALLY get a scene with MJ at a pool party. I fear for her safety there. Where is Tommy?