By Hope y’all are ready for what may be a triggering Summer House recap. Pulling pictures, I saw the previews and it looks like we will once again be riding the Gaslight Express tonight. Thank you Carl Fucking Radke. To catch up on last week’s episode click here. We begin where we left off last week with Kyle and Amanda arguing over dinner. I’m just going to sum this up: Amanda is overwhelmed and anxiety ridden. She tells Kyle that in a very direct, succinct way. I’m really proud of her for opening up. Kyle is willing to back off and be more supportive. I hope he honors that because Amanda is clearly going through something.
Stay Single Forever Carl
Lindsay picks up Jules and Carl to drive to the Hampton’s. Lindsay tells us that she hung out with Carl the entire week. Then Carl tells us (not Lindsay of course) that they are better off being friends. GASLIGHTING FUCKER. Hannah drives up with Jordan, who confesses to hooking up with Jules. Carl prods Jules in the other car. She says that they met at a photoshoot. They hit it off right away, had a great night. Then he ghosted her. That totally tracks.
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At the house,Carl takes Kyle outside to talk about Lindsay. He wants to ruin the Miami Vice themed dinner party they’re going to before it even begins. Kyle tells Carl that he shouldn’t have chickened out when he spoke to Lindsay last week. Carl says he’s in a drinking spiral to cope with having his cake and eating it too. I used to have a soft spot for Carl. That has been replaced with seething anger. Kyle’s advice is to talk to Lindsay. My advice is to leave all women on this planet alone. Fucker.
Twice As Nice Dressed Like Miami Vice
We will be subjected to a Jules and Jordan storyline. I’m sorry guys. They try to have sex, they can’t. We know why. Hannah keeps saying how much she likes Armand. We all want Hannah to be happy. I hope that happens with Luke. I’m so mad that I don’t have pics from the Miami Vice party because they all look great. The waiters are all decked out in 80’s gear too! Most of the Summer House gang are too young to have ever seen it, which is pretty crushing.
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Hannah and Luke flirt. Carl’s an asshole to Lindsay. Like straight up ignoring her and acting like an asshole. This is how you treat your “friend” Carl? Fucker. Everyone manages to have fun, despite the assholery that abounds.
Soft Pricks Everywhere
The next morning the gang splits up. Lindsay, Carl, Kyle, Luke and Jordan go to Barry’s boot camp. It Literally looks like hell on Earth. Hannah, Jules and Amanda go do yoga which looks way better. Carl openly flirts with Sarah, the trainer. Kyle pumps Carl up to ask Sarah on a date. Don’t mind that Lindsay is right within earshot, fuckers! I hate Carl and Kyle so much tonight. Sarah agrees to a date with Douche Canoe Carl, even though he’s dating Lindsay. Who is RIGHT THERE!
At yoga, Jules tells the girls that sex with Jordan was attempted but not completed. She likes Jordan so she’ll stick with it. Jules tells Hannah that she overheard Armand tell Lindsay that he and Hannah are casual. Hannah’s hurt because she has feelings for him. Thankfully, she will have Luke and his biceps to comfort her.
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Back at the house, the gang gets ready for a potluck dinner. Hannah and Lindsay talk. Lindsay tells Hannah about her conversation with Armand. Hannah is hurt. She wants to find out where they stand. Hannah asks Lindsay about Carl. Lindsay says she’s getting too old to deal with childish bullshit. Hannah wants Lindsay to talk to Carl because Carl is a fuckboy who isn’t close to serious dating material. Hannah says they should talk sooner than later to salvage the friendship. As of tonight I feel like he’s not a friend and the “friendship” they had isn’t worth salvaging. Fucker.
Remember To Look Both Ways Before You Fuck Yourself Carl
Our final scene will be Carl and Lindsay having a “talk”. Carl tells Lindsay that he’s sorry for sending mixed signals to her. He says they should just be friends. Where have we heard this before? Oh right, Wirkus, Danielle, Paige…who all were “crazy” too. Everyone else is crazy. Gaslighting 101. I’m so proud that Lindsay stays so calm. She doesn’t let up on the fact that HE is the one who pursued a romantic relationship with her first.
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He was fine with her until she starting developing real feelings for him. Then all of a sudden SHE is expecting too much. SHE is crazy. FUCK THAT. Lindsay starts to lose her cool when Carl shows zero remorse for asking the trainer on a date in front of her. He says that he can date because “more life”. I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS SMUG FACE. This is Jax level hatred. Lindsay walks away crying while Carl mutters that she’s crazy. FUCKER.
Next week on Summer House: The return of Paige. Lindsay gets activated. Amanda questions Jordan so Jules questions Amanda’s trust when Kyle cheated on her. OMG Luke asked Sarah the trainer out on a date too! That sends Carl over the edge. I LOVE LUKE!
WWHL With Carl & Luke Mini Recap
I have another edition of “I watched WWHL so you don’t have to”, Carl and Luke edition. I’ll sum up best I can since this recap is already 3,000 words long (sorry TT!). Carl looks douchey of course. Luke doesn’t look as hot tonight. Is his hair different?Andy asks Carl if he sees inconsistencies with how he treated Lindsay. He says he does. The poll taken shows everyone is on Lindsay’s side. Andy says Luke is way hotter than Armand so WTF is she conflicted about? Luke says that Hannah and Armand had an emotional connection. Another poll says that Hannah and Luke make a good couple.
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We get an answer to a question that has plagued us all: why all the boxes on the porch? Carl says the girls order outfits for the weekend and have them shipped to the house. Seems expensive. Brandi Glanville tweeted about Luke’s awful hair. A caller asks if Carl would be comfortable kissing Luke so he did. Another caller asks Carl how he is going to break his gaslighting cycle. He says he has to work on himself. Andy plays a who’s the better catch game. Luke wins of course. Carl has zero remorse for anything. He and Jax should start a sociopath club. I’m going to bed angry. Bravo sociopaths.
Hey Pop~ . How are you? All most time for the Boys of Summer!!!!!
I cannot stand Carl any more. He is Andy Cohen of the Summer House. I too used to have a little tug for him but no more. He is vile. I am not a full Lindsay fan but this is BS from the word go. He is one hot mess.
I hope that Kyle and Amanda can work it out and that he is respectful of her. She is a very likable person on this show.
I actually like most of the girls on this show and dislike most of the guys that come on. Kind of revers of the housewives for me! LOL
I am so glad to see you recapping.
What are your guesses on what Tom Terrific is going to do? Big hugs to you!!!!!
Sundayyyyyy!!! There you are!!! How are you???? Ugh Carl is the worst. I used to like him but I can’t anymore. 4 seasons and zero change. I agree, I like most of the girls too. I do like Luke a lot. I hope that doesn’t change. Welp, Husby seems to think Tommy T is gone 🙁 I don’t want to believe that. I want him to stay and have Billy B stack the deck with receivers for him. Your thoughts? I’m still not over Mookie leaving 🙁 🙁
I am doing good and I hope you are as well! It’s kind of crazy around here with trying to figure out if schools will be opened or closed but??????? We shall see…
I am feeling a little queasy about Tom. I am kind of leaning towards where your hubs is at. My hubs thinks he will stay….we will see. I wish we kept Jimmy G though.
I am so sad about Mookie. I hate it when they switch up our teams. I know it is necessary but I don’t have to like it! See you after next recap. Big hugs
Kelly, your recaps give me MORE LIFE! Bwahahaha.
Not sure which is worse, guys who pull the “look what you made me do” or guys who try to make you think you are crazy. For part of my life I DID THINK I WAS CRAZY. It took a fuckboy boyfriend trying to make me believe it to know I was not. So thank you, Hans.
I think that Karl and Max from VPR need to fall in love with the SAME girl and have her dump both — publically and in a humiliating way. They both are dicks. Weenies.
Bahahahahahaha omg no you didn’t! You are the only excusable person to use that saying!! ? Omg it’s typical fuck boy behavior, gaslighting 101. Make her thinks she’s crazy because you’re playing mind games and she falls for it. Asshole. Oh that would be perfect karma!!!! I hate them both.
Carl is an awkward loser every summer. I don’t understand his appeal. Why do hot girls keep falling for him? He seems so unsure of himself and nervous. Also, I don’t like his name.
Lindsay is cray cray. Carl knew that already, and should know better than to mess with her feelings. She picks poorly, and deserves a good MAN. Things will get messy for the rest of the summer, guaranteed. This show makes me want to visit New York/Hamptons.
I don’t know that she’s crazy, I think you’re right, she picks poorly and she truly cares about these guys so when they hurt her, she loses it. I want better for her too. She’s gorgeous, seemingly has a good heart, successful…she can get way better than she has had. Isn’t the scenery gorgeous? Field trip!!
Carl is an unattractive momma’s boy loser and a shit friend. He deserves nobody and once he finds a women he really likes I pray he gets dumped on his pompous ass. Hannah is on a whole other level of ego this season. Her head is HUGE and I’m not impressed. Stay humble it becomes you!
Awww I disagree. I think Hannah is funny. A lot of it I think is dry humor. You nailed Carl!
Agree! Hannah is my favorite because she’s funny & smart. I like Luke for her too – I think.
Regarding Carl, I’m not surprised. He’s behaved like a chump to every other girl we’ve seen him with for 4 years now! I still think he was using Lindsay for a place to stay in the city. Why do we never see HIS apartment? It also makes sense why he “spent the whole week with Lindsay” even AFTER telling Kyle he wanted to end it. He probably hadn’t lined up another couch to crash on yet. (Watch out Barry’s instructor!) I truly believe he’s a fraud. He mooches jobs & places to stay from his friends & women (and men)? I seriously don’t think he cares which – he’s just awful. I hope his roommates finally expose his ass at the reunion, so we’ll never have to see his goofy face again!
Does anyone know if Kyle has a full time job outside of Loverboy? Amanda does, right? So Loverboy is her second job?
Carl sucks and Lindsey sucks for falling for him. He should always be a friend, never a boyfriend.
Ugh Jordan. I didn’t miss his smug mug and weird eyes.
great recap!
I think Loverboy is it. Amanda does have a full time job. Carl is the worst. Haha yes Jordan strange isn’t he? Thank you!!
EW! Go AWAY Jordan! He is just beyond weird. Jules, wft is wrong with you? I get you want air time, that is NOT the way to go! ICK!
Okay, so something has been bothering me for years….That wig Kyle wears is NOT a mullet!
A mullet is very short hair on the top and sides and long in the back. It is definitely more like a Farrah Faucet wig.
So, hopefully that stuff with Amanda & Kyle was fake, they seemed normal this week. I guess I do want them to be happy together.
Haha Jordan. Ugh. You’re right about the wig. I do love it, whatever you call it lol. You’re so sweet. I still don’t want them to stay together ?
Did I get thrown in the wls? I can’t comment on Survivor….
Okay….Guess not… Sorry
Jordan and his sexcapades are probably very high on the list of “kill me” . I can’t believe it came up again with a partner to validate. “Kill me again”
Thank you Kelly for the recap ?
I just turned this on in the background while working on other things. I haven’t paid much attention but I did just get paid off at production. The gang is all working out. Some are at a gym doing weights others are doing yoga ON SURFBOARDS. They are making it seem like all the groaning and sweating in the gym is harder than the quiet yoga class. IT IS NOT. The yoga class is MUCH HARDER and factor in balancing on a surf board? Forgetaboutit! I just completed a 5.1 on the treadmill. It sucks, but it is nothing in comparison to the old people beginners yoga. I am not even going to yoga anymore until I get some weight off and find some sort of center of balance
This show is really filling the void left in my heart from VPR. I used to love VPR and now I basically cannot stand anyone on there except for Ariana and Tom. But Summer House fun! VPR NOT FUN!
Great recap! This is the only Bravo show I look forward to but now I get PTSD watching Carl in action. Thank you for the well placed “fucker”!!! Gaslighting is a narcissists best tool ..the ground work for making a beautiful woman go crazy trying to figure out mixed signals and insanity. I feel terrible for Lindsay as I’m sure she thought that since they were friends, he wouldn’t pull this crappy pattern with her. I hope this opens her eyes to picking better men! Ugh Jules!!!!! Jordan??? Another beautiful girl who needs to know she deserves better. The ghosting alone should have kept her out of bed with him let alone his limp dick!! I love Hannah’s confidence and this is why she is quick to realize “casual” isn’t good enough. I’m hoping for her and Luke to not be casual. Paige has the right guy at the wrong time. Amanda …. I hope she realizes that KYLE is her anxiety!! I love these girls .. not loving the boys. However, I’m loving Luke and hoping he isn’t a fuck boy, anxiety free and can fuck! I loved the 80’s/Miami Vice theme … brought back memories of some fun summers with just my girlfriends in the Hamptons! And then I felt old thinking how we would do 1950’s themed parties back then and thought those were the “old days”. Lol. Can’t wait for next week and some activation!!