It’s time to check in on Married at First Sight with another MAFS recap. This is what happens when you hire people off social media to be on this show instead of the generic idiots we used to have that came to open calls.
Meka & Michael
So… Michael just randomly announces that his work schedule is going to change since he decided not to take the principal job at the Catholic School. Oh, hold on now. I didn’t know it was a Catholic school. He says twice it was in his best interest to move on from that position. He’s full of shit. Now I don’t know what the real deal is here, but either he never had he job in the first place. Or they found out about the show changed their mind. Or he realizes that telling a woman she has to put out on the honeymoon or he is out might lose him a job with the church.
Meka is not buying it. Now that he says it happened just a few hours ago after a few phone calls. And in that amount of time he says he has a new job as a director at another school. WTF is a director,Michael? Meka doesn’t look like she is buying any of this nonsense either. The more Michael talks the dumber he sounds. He says they were trying to offer him different hours and different pay.Is he even a teacher? You work until you or done or the janitor locks the door. There are no hours other than your report time.
This fool is making no sense. He didn’t pass his background check or his references came back bad or something. Let’s have a montage of Michael’s lies. You would think he would be better at it as much as he does it. But, no. He’s a really bad liar.
The Love Talk
Michael talks in vague generalities. Meka says that she needs honesty. Oh, sweet girl, I would not hold your breath on that. Meka decides to question his bogus job story. She asks questions that illuminate that what he says about his job makes no sense. Since he can’t answer basic questions about his job. He says he isn’t comfortable enough with her to talk about it. Well, he needs to get comfortable with it. But he can’t but he won’t stop lying. Meka says tell Michael that she doesn’t understand why he came on the show if his method of dealing with uncomfortable situations is to lie. She makes a good point. She needs to just bail. He says.”That’s what we are here to figure out.”
Meka says her biggest fear is that this whole thing is based on a lie. Sorry, girlfriend, but that is it in a nutshell.
In Michael’s confessional, he can’t even fake outrage over beiing confronted with his lies. He just loves to turn the topic on to Meka. It’s not working, Michael. Did you ask for a woman with no brain when talking to the “experts” because you were matched with someone to continues to out wit you. And it isn’t a very difficult thing to do.
A Dinner Date?
These two are getting all the air time. Will the relationship end by the end of the episode? Michael tries to apologize and gives Meka a gift box full of candies he has picked out. That seems like it should have been a random act of kindness and not “I fucked up so please except these gummy bears and move on.”
Katie and Derek
The exercises from the professionals (and I use that term loosely) they talk about love languages and other ridiculousness. So of course we start with Derek who has never been in love. He says he will know he was in love when a girl breaks his heart instead of him breaking her. He’s a genius this one. Katie says she is done fighting for love and not getting it. She sees this happening with Derek. Me too, Katie, me too.
Derek says his greatest fear in life is never finding love. Katie is concerned by Derek’s unwillingness to be vulnerable. Derek is very touchy over the subject that he has never been it love. This is a red flag, Katie. These two both unintentionally hurt each other.
WAIT! Did we know Katie is a “mental health professional’? Lord have mercy. These two are still pissed about the fight about Derek never being in love the night before. Unfortunately, they are stuck filming a date scene. As I am typing this, they make up in the car. Oh dear God. It’s an aerial class. Production must hate these two. Later these two talk about where to live and putting her on Derek’s health insurance. That was fast.
Jessica and Austen
Austen says he waited a year to tell the person he loved he loved her. He likes hugs. She likes words of affirmation. I don’t care. Later, Austen uses his engineering skills to set up a charger in the bedroom for Jessica. Isn’t that just plugging something into the wall? These two seem great together. I can’t envision what causes their breakup.
They send these two on a date to a batting cage. They seem to be having fun. Oh, he is a baseball player. I get it now. Jessica seems to be falling in love. Or at least thinks she is.
Taylor and Brandon
These two are not in the mood to talk about love at all. Brandon basically sits in his room and plays video games and ignores her. He seems to have no interest in her. He keeps turning thing around on Taylor. Brandon feels like he has finished the assignment. He retreats to his room.
Later, Taylor makes dinner for Brandon. She appears to be a great cook. It’s also a smart strategy. Until she takes a picture of the dinner. And gets on her Instagram. She has taken of ton of things for her Instagram on the show. Brandon is seething with resentment. Taylor doesn’t get what is happening. I am starting to think this is not all just Brandon. She gets huffy. He takes his dinner to his room. Wait, I just realized she is doing the walk of shame in that dress! Its broad daylight the next day when she gets home with her bloodshot eyes.
Getting Some Advice
Meka and Taylor talk. Taylor doesn’t come clean about her video. Instead, she just talks about Micheal. She has a whole list of what is wrong with Brandon. Then, she says she posted the video because she thought it was funny. It had nothing to do with him or the status of their relationship. Meka doesn’t agree with Taylor, so she just smiles and nods. Eventually, she suggests that maybe she should reach out to Brandon and apologize.
Brandon and Michael talk. Brandon says that Taylor told him she had auditioned for all kinds of shows. She claims she was going to be on Temptation Island but she was traveling and couldn’t do it. Brandon says she is just here to be on a TV show and get followers. He says her video was malicious and meant to cause him pain. The message was received.
Ohhh! Taylor has apparently been posting a lot of interesting stuff on her IG. Michael went on it and saw that she was posting about their issues. She was also saying she was single and provided a list of qualities she is looking for in a man. I assume one of them would be, “does not go on Instagram.”
Oh the Instastory was way worse than Michael described it. She was on there bitching about how hard it id to find a man 1) over 6’3″ (2) no criminal record (3) something probably about dick size, it was blurred out (4) Sane (5) Fine as hell and(6) employed. She laments not being able to find anyone who meets these basic requirements and says she guesses she will just be single forever. Remember what I have been saying about why someone as pretty (on the outside) as Taylor is on this show? Well now we know.
Brandon sent Michael a text about the IG post, and included the post. He shared it with Meka. She thinks that Taylor went through a lot with Brandon and she is probably just lashing out.
Brandon takes his shit and leaves with the key on the table. No note. I know the experts will say they need to talk it out. But I disagree. If I were Brandon I would be done. Especially since he doesn’t seem to have much emotional investment in her. She was out in a hoochie dress “with friends” when he left. That is not an “out with friends” dress. Taylor is terrible at acting like she cares that he left.
When one of the experts calls Taylor about the Instastory, she likes. She say she was doing a group Facetime with her friends. And, she tells the therapist she thought the video was “quite funny.” She is being quite defensive. Taylor thinks she has taken two steps forward? Apparently, going out all night and posting an IG basically that he doesn’t measure up is her way of taking positive steps in the marriage. Brandon needs to run from this one. Now, I am wondering what she did to him on the honeymoon to piss him off so bad. And why they didn’t show it.
Mindy and Zach
These two still don’t live together. Zach tries and feels to come off as intellectual. He is saying a lot of words with no meaning. That is a rare talent. Mindy says pretty much the same thing in her confessional. Mindy tries to point out that she needs him to commit to the process. He gets up to go chase the dogs.
At the end of the show, Zach Facetimes his sister about the relationship. His sister wants to know if any of the experts have told him that he overthinks everything. She tells him he needs to move in. His sister sympathizes with Mindy who is all alone. She says her family that didn’t show up will be full of “I told you so.” His sister tells him he needs to have the full experience. Zach decides to throw Mindy a bone and stop by to play cards with her an do face masks. Le sigh. At least she had plenty of wine and cheese. Doing facemasks with Zach makes Mindy feel married. /heavy sigh.