By CJ Bomb
I thought that I was all on my own tonight for the Project Runway recap except for Lucky Lucy, my sweet furry co-pilot. The lovely Les is out on a date with her hubs and Super C is off doing whatever cool teens do. But then, friend from up north and former partner in crime Mixmaster sent me some commentary to make me laugh. We were debutantes together. We took part in an antiquated ritual where lovely young ladies are presented by their doting fathers into polite society. (Then, we spent the rest of the night, drinking, smoking and giving good breeding an entirely different meaning, but that’s another story….)
The designers are exhausted after the all nighter they pulled. Victoria is upset and uninspired now that she has been on the bottom again. At least she’s not threatening to “queet”. Her husband has sent her a zillion roses for her 28th birthday. As much shit as I give Moldova Barbie, the other designers seem to genuinely like her even though they are perplexed as to why the judges love her. So their affection should count for something. Even though she still annoys me.
An Olympic Effort
What better way to reward exhausted designers than giving them a one day challenge? What a challenge though! A group of amazing women take the stage. Olympic and Paralympic competitors are the clients. Karlie points out that it’s sometimes hard to find clothes that fit when you are a professional athlete because your shape is different. Taller, stronger, unique, etc…The designers will be making a “Victory Dress” for these badass ladies. Nancy is THRILLED. The button bag comes out and the designers are assigned an athlete.
The designers all meet with their clients. They have very specific requests. All are thrilled to be receiving a custom look. Many of them want red dresses. They each explain what they want covered up and what they want to show off the designers are thrilled to work with such incredible athletes. Designing for athletic bodies is a new challenge.
At Mood, Christian tells them to make the clients happy, but keep their own point of view intact. Christian is flummoxed that so many clients want red. He tells them to get them to change their minds. They ignore him. Nancy wants to make sure she gets fabric that flows and doesn’t get caught in her client’s wheelchair. Brittany is getting an art-deco looking fabric because her client loves a vintage look.
Christian Tells The Designers To Step It Up!
Christian tells Sergio his color is exciting, but not much else. He wants him to play with the sleeves or the shape. Mixmaster is demanding to know why Sergio is not listening to Christian? I text back: because he thinks Christian is his equal. Christian is worried about the length of Geoffrey’s dress AND the slit. Geoffrey is worried as well.
Victoria tells Christian her client wants a dress without sleeves, but she DOESN’T LIKE SLEEVELESS. Seriously? You got a dream client and you are going to fuck it up by doing the ONE thing that doesn’t jibe with your aesthetic? Christian likes the braiding in Marquise’s look, but he’s getting a bridesmaid’s vibe from this look. So, he tells Marquise to elevate it.
Christian thinks he should have been a ribbon gymnast. I can see that. Brittany explains her clients desire for a plunging neckline. He tells her to play with the sheer/opacity factor of the modesty panel in other parts of the garment. She likes the idea. He wants her to show who she is in the look. Christian is worried about Nancy’s time management after last week.
The designers (except for Victoria) are mainly concerned with the clients being happy. Victoria is worried her dress is too short. It is. Sergio is worried Brittany’s dress doesn’t look like Brittany. Even though he says it in his typical jackass way, he’s not wrong. Oh Nancy. She got crap on the iron, which Geoffrey uses and it fucks up his fabric. Nancy is like “Did I do that?” Geoffrey is RE-SEWING AGAIN….AND SMOKING. Christian is like…SERIOUSLY?
Mixmaster (who is the mom of a possible future Olympian…totally serious) tells me she can’t take guest judge Lindsay Vonn seriously after seeing her sexts with Tiger Woods. I’m just gonna not think about that. Ever.
Victoria Cocieru has made the same dress. Again. It’s very very short. Karlie says “leg goals” as Helen walks the runway. When Karlie says that to you? Take it as a MAJOR compliment. WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL? HOW THE HELL IS VICTORIA IN THE TOP? I tell Mix that it is completely unfair to judge Geoffrey on a not perfectly fitted short red dress and turn around and celebrate Victoria for THE SAME DAMN THING? Is Putin influencing the presidential election AND Project Runway?
Victoria tells Brandon she knows he’s going to say it is too short. Brandon tells her this is not the case this time??? What bothered him whas the choice of polyester. He would have used a beautiful stretch crepe. Lindsay loved the dress and thought it accentuated who her client is.
I Thought It Was Perfect
Sergio Guadarrama’s model embraces her belly and looks radiant. I love the color and she looks beautiful. I am also liking the cut-out in the back. But it is the model who makes this look. Not Sergio’s genius. Mix wants to know what he was thinking with the shoes. She thinks he made her look like a banana.
Karlie thought Sergio’s dress was pretty but very day, not evening. Elaine thought there was a missed opportunity to celebrate the client’s baby bump more. Sergio would NEVER put a pregnant woman in tight clothes. He responded,“I thought it was perfect.” Mixmaster texts, “Yeah Sergio, we know you do.” Brandon thought the chiffon on the bottom was beautifully done, but the cap-sleeve and the darts on top were a bit off. He also explains comfort is also about confidence. Not putting all pregnant women in flowy stuff.
Even though the model is very happy with Marquise’s dress, it is still reading junior to me. Mixmaster thinks Marquise “Made this amazing athlete look like she’s going to a quinceanera.” I pick Marquise to go home.
Karlie thought the top was more sheer than it needed to be. Lindsay thinks the slit was strong but the dress looked junior. Lindsey Vonn thought Marquis could have pushed the envelope more and made it more sophisticated.
Brittany Allen’s This dress is a basic pretty black dress. I don’t see a lot of Brittany in it. It was very well fitted though and her model looks very happy.
Nina thinks she chose a smart fabric that made it look luxe, but this dress is a cliche. She wanted to see something more creative. She gets that they are working with clients, but she needed more. Lindsey Vonn said she needs nudges now and then from the designers and stylists she works with to step outside her comfort zone. Brittany says she gave the client exactly what she asked for. Brandon said you could put anyone in that dress and it didn’t seem made for the client.
Geoffrey Mac’s dress is a great color and I like the straps. I think the fit could be better. The slit is in the wrong spot for me. She does look stunning. Her shoulders are everything.
Geoffrey tells them to bring it on. Laughing. He’s not getting points docked for the stain. Elaine is on fire tonight. She thinks it looked cheap and tacky. She also thinks the fit was bad. Nina thought there was almost some exposure happening. But,Karlie and Brandon think this is a fun dress for a young hot woman going out dancing with girlfriends.
The Train To Victory
Nancy Volpe Beringer nailed this. It has form and function but it is also innovative and beautiful. Tatyana looks stunning. The train is working. I’m so happy this woman didn’t get stuck with Victoria. I picked Nancy for the win.
Elaine wonders if the color is uninteresting? STFU Elaine. Nina thought it was the right color as anything else would have read too girly. Karlie thought the trim was a little heavy. Brandon commends Nancy for the amazing construction of the garment. She absolutely took care of her client. Then, Karlie and Elaine get into over who should win. Is Elaine the reason Victoria is always in the top? She argued for her to win this challenge pretty hard.
And The Winner Is…
Thank you lord Nancy wins this challenge. And since everyone’s clients were blissfully happy NO ONE IS HEADED HOME. Then,Mixmaster tells me that Victoria is a total btich when this is announced. Victoria wonders what kind of a competition this is when no one is eliminated. You know what kind? The kind where TWO designers are going home next week. AND it’s the AVANT GARDE challenge (my fave). We will then be down to the final four. Not gonna lie, this has been a long season. Thank you Mixmaster for making me laugh. Stay warm up there! Have a great weekend everyone! Love, CJBomb.