It may be mid February but who wants to get hot and drunk with a good old fashioned Summer House recap? Click here to get caught up with last week’s drunken escapades. The gang is still having a drunken ball at the pool party. Carl and Lindsay agree to go on a date. Carl is nervous because he doesn’t want to mess up his friendship. As the party winds down, Luke goes over to talk to Hannah. He wants to assess his chances with her. She may be dating Armand but Luke makes her vag tickle. Don’t read further Husby because: girl, same. Next. it’s Lindsay and Carl’s turn for some hot tubbing. They hug and make out. Kyle and Amanda are still miserable at her cousin’s wedding.
A Whole Lotta Nothing
Carl and Lindsay share a bed but they didn’t have sex. Allegedly. Jules comes in strong with the bacon again for breakfast. Lindsay, Paige, Danielle discuss Carl’s kissing abilities. Hannah is amazed that those three all hooked up with Carl. Speaking of Hannah, apparently Luke tried to kiss her and she SWERVED AWAY. Ummm….why? Why would you do that Hannah? Hannah was my favorite but that move has me….just kidding, she’ll always be my favorite! I’m sure she had reasons. Not good reasons, but reasons.
Anywhoodle, the gang packs up and heads back to the city. Kyle is picking up Loverboy. He is looking for a salesman who is motivated and driven so he chooses Carl? Kyle continues to make horrific choices in life. Kyle is tired of Amanda doing nothing with Loverboy.
Cut to her shopping with Hannah for their 4th of July party. They all catch up on the past weekend. Most notably Amanda tells Hannah that her wedding plans are on hold and she is perfectly fine with that. Kyle is definitely not fine with that. They still are not having sex. I predict that it’s going to be on the finale episode that they call it quits. Y’all read it here first!
A Date With Goldfinger
Paige and Jules go for a mani/pedi. Paige gets a certain Single White Female vibe from our Jules. I think she’s just so eager to fit in that she tries too hard. Reign it in Jules and you’ll be fine. Aw, her father died when she was in high school. Mine did as well so I get it. She shuts down and has a hard time with emotions. No one can ever be mean to Jules, ever!
Carl and Lindsay get ready for their date. When Carl picks her up it’s just super cringe. He arranged their date on the penthouse roof deck on the top of Lindsay’s building. Over shots, they play a game asking questions about each other that the other doesn’t know. It gets tricky when the question of settling down is asked. Carl talks a lot about being afraid of being in a relationship. Lindsay gets heated because she feels like it’s an excuse. Carl is offended that she could think he’s making excuses. Lindsay walks away and comes back a lot calmer. Carl apologizes. They toast over shots of Fireball so the date ends on a good note. That was a roller coaster no one wanted to be on.
PTSD From Too Much PDA
Everyone is back at the Hamptons. Danielle is growing more and more uncomfortable with Carl and Lindsay’s PDA. We all are, Danielle. In the car going to dinner, Lindsay gets pissed at Danielle for making comments about her and Carl. Get used to it Lindsay. Hannah tells us that Armand is coming to the house for the 4th of July party the next day. Amanda asks Carl and Lindsay if they are getting serious. Lindsay gets very defensive . They go out after dinner and party. Carl and Lindsay sleep in the same bed and seem to have sex.
No Sex In the Bickerson’s Room
Kyle and Amanda go to bed and definitely do not have sex. Amanda threatens to dick punch him if he doesn’t go to sleep. He would probably take the dick punch since it would mean that she A. touched him and B. did something other than roll over and sleep.
The next morning, Kyle and Amanda talk about their relationship. Amanda feels like Kyle has unrealistic expectations for her to change into who he wants her to be. She’s not going to magically transform into a super motivated, tidy woman just because he put a ring on it. Kyle feels that they have so many issues, intimacy at their age shouldn’t be one. Amanda doesn’t want to talk about it right before the party. She goes in the bathroom and cries. Kyle is left hanging, literally. Per usual.
Next week on Summer House: It’s the 4th of July bash! Kyle and Amanda fight. Armand meets Luke. Lindsay and Carl fight. What did y’all think of this episode? I have such anger from Below Deck and VanderPump Rules that this is truly a frothy delight. See y’all in the comments!