Tonight’s episode of RHONJ is already over on the east coast and I am just now starting the RHONJ Recap! It’s been a very busy day on the site (be sure to check out all the new posts) and in real life. I did laps in the pool today! No one should put on a swimsuit in February. I am just saying. But I am a long way from my summer body so a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And right now, this girl’s gotta write a recap.
We are going to start with Gia’s prom. Teresa is going all out. Joe calls from the ICE detention center. It’s a zoo. Joe Gorga brings Gia flowers and she cries. If she can’t have her dad, she has Tio Joe. Aw. Dolores and Frank are there to see Frankie off. The montage of young Gia is heartbreaking. What a life this kid has had! Nono cries.
A Few Events Before The Shore
Jennifer goes to her brother, Steve’s fundraiser for scholarships for kids in need to be able to attend theater school. Broadway’s Caroline Bowman performs a song at the event along with other chorus kids. Jennifer’s mom cries during the performance. She’s proud of her son. She cries and tells Stephen she loves him no matter what. YAY!
From that lovely scene, we are jarred into a scene where Teresa meets Danielle for breakfast. UGH. Danielle says she and Marty are getting along great. Danielle claims she is going to be at the shore this weekend soon. Teresa tells her the girls don’t want to hang around her anymore.
Delores hired a decorator to help her keep David from being able to bring any of his furniture. She doesn’t even know if she is moving in yet. David says the commitment is building a house with her. Plus he agrees to give up all of his furniture. I don’t understand why she wants to be married anyway. Frank is going to the shore with her. This is one weird three way. I think Frank and Dolores both like David more than each other. Jackie is going solo and riding with Margaret and her Joe.
Down The Shore
Joe Gorga, Melissa and Teresa talk about Jennifer and Danielle. Melissa doesn’t want to deal with either one of them. Bill and Jennifer are the first to arrive. Jennifer hides on he phone when Melissa shows up. Then, she starts hanging all over her husband. Melissa and Joe snark about the Aydins while unpacking in their bedroom. The house is gorgeous by the way.
When the group gets together, everyone starts talking about prenups. This seemed odd until I realized they were setting up the topic so Teresa could talk about her fake prenup. Teresa finally admits that Joe was a cheater. But, she says she was the perfect wife. She talks about finding out that Joe had another cell phone just to call one other woman. She should have left then, but was Gia was only three years old. Gia’s life would have been so much better in many ways if she had left him. As Melissa says, the fact that Joe Giudice was a cheater is not news. the breaking news is that Teresa is finally admitting it and saying it out loud.
Man To Man
Joe Gorga talks to Bill one on one and asks him why he walked away from him at the party the other night. Bill felt disrespected. He says they can have their differences from time to time but they just have to do it with respect. Joe says he didn’t mean anything by it. The hug it out. Ah, the differences between men and real housewives.
It’s off to dinner. The guys are in one car. The ladies in the other. The guys are cool. We don’t really see the housewives car. The restaurant is right on the water and really pretty. Joe Gorga says he met Melissa at the shore. He saw here in Cancun with her friends and he asked a her friend where they were from. She told him the Jersey shore. He went every weekend after he got back looking for her until he found her. She was not interested. Melissa says she Teresa beat up two girls and a guy in a Jersey Shore bar once. Her boyfriend was holding some guys hand. Teresa is pissed about all the cheating jokes.
On Thin Ice
Melissa brings up that Danielle is in town and wants to meet up and talk to her. Danielle already told Teresa that she thinks Melissa is her in back into the group. Spoiler alert, she’s not. Melissa says she is going to tell Danielle she went to far and she can’t be around them anymore. Jennifer laughs until Melissa informs her that she is also on thin ice. Dolores says Jennifer is not on thin ice with her and Melissa doubles down. Bill raises an eyebrow.
In a talking head, Dolores says, “Melissa is still made about the plate throwing. I guess she forgets she is the one who started it.” Say WHAT? Melissa didn’t start a thing. Jennifer was trash talking Jackie and Melissa took Jackie’s side. Even in Jersey that doesn’t justify throwing plates and cutlery at someone in the middle of a restaurant. Jennifer says “Whatever, if you don’t want to be my friend, that’s fine.”
Back To The House
The gang decides to go back to the house and enjoy all the amenities. Bill announces he wants to bang his wife and admits Joe had a point.
The next morning, Jackie calls her husband. He is coming to the house. Their son was playing in a championship game that weekend so he stayed home with the kids. The son lost the championship.:( In another bedroom, Joe Gorga complains that Melissa didn’t give it up the night before and now he has blue balls. Sigh. Margaret and Dolores talk to their men about Danielle. They hope not to see her.
Frank cooks eggs for Dolores. The chat about all sorts of things while getting ready to head to the beach at high noon. That’s a terrible time to go to the beach. It’s too hot and the sun is sending off peak levels of skin cancer rays. But they are going to a beach bar, so I guess it doesn’t matter. Teresa says she stresses about money, with so much spent on law suits, and her kids all the time.
Margaret says she gets it. She she has lawsuits too and it is gives her a lot of financial stress. Jennifer tells Dolores that is not the same thing because Margaret has Joe and Teresa has no one. Oh, just get your head out of Teresa’s ass, Jennifer. Is she paying you to be her spokesperson? Teresa says something about work taking time from her kids. Bill chimes in and says he told Jennifer that kids don’t have the ability to understand that their mom’s work is hard. Margaret says, “I didn’t know Jennifer worked!” I love Margaret! And raising child is not work that takes you away from your kids, Bill! It’s time to head out! Margaret says to Melissa that Jennifer is on her list.
Next week, the girls play mini-golf and the guys go out drinking on a boat. Joe Gorga and Frankie literally have to carry Bill into the house on their shoulders. He is passed out dead drunk. Jennifer questions Margaret’s parenting and all hell breaks loose. Danielle meets up with Melissa.