Well it’s time for a brand news season and a new Shahs Of Sunset Recap! This season, Mike thinks he has found the one. Reza and Adam are both accused of cheating. Golnesa gets knocked up. Tommy tries and unfortunately fails to kill Reza. MJ and Reza become mortal enemies. Oh and one of R. Kelly’s girl’s joins the show. Because why not? Are we ready to do this? Update! Clearly, I was not ready last night. I was worn out from the Oscars and the most boring episode of RHOA ever. No wonder they aired it when no one was watching. I am sort of ready now to recap. I am still tired and kinda feel like I was up drinking all night even though I didn’t have a drop.
This episode starts out on a sad note. We get a look back at the very long friendship of Reza and MJ. At least the good moments. I remember being so angry at Reza for his treatment of MJ I was begging MJ through my TV to dump him. Reza’s abuse of MJ started in SEASON TWO. Let us not forget that through all of these happy little scenes. I could most recaps of Reza’s horrific abuse of MJ all day. At least read this one. My point is don’t believe the fairy tale production is feeding you right now.
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We start with Adam working in the back yard and Reza supervising and trying to pretend he even knows how to start a weed whacker. Reza gives a bullshiit interview with production regaling his happy marriage. Sadly, there is no footage to back that shit up. Their relationship is clearly in the toilet. RUN, ADAM, RUN! Reza brags about his house. It is quite lovely. They are having a housewarming to show it off. Later, Adam tells Reza that he is having second thoughts about having a baby with Reza. Thank the baby Jesus. Suddenly, Reza is hurt by this? Please.
Already With The Lawsuits?
Last year’s misogyny was primarily against Golnesa. Reza, Mike and Mercedeh apparently called Shalom last season and gave him all sorts of ammunition against Golnesa. Hey, I never said Mercedeh was innocent. She’s just the least awful of most of them, and I just like her. By the way, there was no Shahs of Sunset in all of 2019! They have had this in the can for quite some time. This argument is from an the last reunion at the end of 2018. So, they are backing up for continuity I suppose. Reza is forced to invite Golnesa to the all cast so he is a dick about fake writing an invitation via text.
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Meanwhile, Golnesa is only friends with Yasmin, Destiney and Adam. Mostly Adam. She has five embryos on ice and is ready to be pregnant. Spoiler Alert! Golnesa says she is going to give up pot and booze while she is pregnant. Let the burning of esfand begin. The last time we saw esfand was when it was conveniently on hand when Adam chipped Reza’s fake ” $15,000 emerald” he bought for his mother. Don’t you love fake storylines infused with cultural rituals the participants don’t seem to even know exist?
Mike Shouhed Had Met The One!
Mike had finally found someone to film with the love of his life! It is the first Persian girl he has ever dated? Really? And the first Jewish girl. Except for you know, Jessica who converted to Judaism AND MARRIED HIM only to be cheated on by Mike. The new love of his life was vegan but he has convinced her to eat meat to make him happy. Sigh. Mike tells Destiney that all the girls he has ever dated are still in love with him. Does he know he is a liar or is he living in some sort of delusional state? Destiney tries to knock Mike into reality. He refuses to face reality.
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I am spending way too much time going back to read the old posts linked above. You should too. Anyway, Mike’s latest victim is Paulina. Mike says that Paulina is “going to give him all the things he wants.” Because, that is what a relationship is all about. Oh God. She is divorced with kids. Run, girl, run! No one should choose Mike to be a father figure.
A Date With Destiney
Golnesa arrives to film a lunch date with one of her few allies, Destiney. She’s munching on edibles the entire drive and arrives with a serious case of the munchies. Golnesa orders half the menu before Destiney arrives. Then, she gets up and tells two guys at another table that she wants to try their appetizer. She blames hormones. I should not talk. I am stuffing my face with a very juicy pear covered in the best goat cheese with a side of pistachios. Moo.
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These two are trying to make amends from things that happened on the reunion. Golnesa thinks she is trying to apologize. She is not doing it right. Destiney points out that Golnesa tens to snap and get very hostile. Golnesa denies this and then pops off and gets very hostile. Then she storms out. Production tells us that Golnesa went outside, and smoked some pot. Then she comes back in and is all sunshine and lollipops. Golnesa apologizes on her knees? WTF? I worry for her child. This erratic behavior does not a good mother make.
It’s Time For The Housewarming!
But first, Adam has to clean the house from top to bottom while Reza tells him he’s not doing a good enough job and has a beer. I really hope Adam dumps Reza this season. Destiney arrives first because Reza basically wants her to bar tend. Kevin Lee has decorated for the party and apparently put down grass. Or astroturf it is Weho after all. Oh wait, it’s in the valley, lol. Kevin also apparently invited himself to the party.
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Destiney is going to be just another shady motherfucker this season. She conveintly hung out with a gay guy just before filming who showed her Adam’s dick pic and she is going to blow him up at his own party. Can’t anyone other than Adam be likeable on this show? We are over halfway in and still no scene with Mercedeh, Tommy and the baby. SIGH. Reza tries to kiss Adam for show and Adam is not having it. He seems ready to bail. One can only hope.
Cowboy Bob & The Afgani Cab Driver
As the guests arrive, production makes sure to show Mike grabbing Adam’s ass. We’ll just file that away for later. Mama Joyce’s streets say there may be a couple of down low guys and one girl on this show. I’m just telling you what the streets are saying. Don’t shoot the messenger. Oh Reza is on WWHL with Dr. Jackie. That explains the uptick in Married to Medicine post views last night.
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Golnesa brings her gift into the party, see Shervin, and turns right around. Apparently, Shervin has a CBD business too. Golnesa seems to think she is the only one who can do that. Pretty much everyone is opening a CBD business. Get over it. Reza who days ago didn’t want to invite her at all suddenly tells her he loves her and wants to get back to a good place and begs her to stay. RANDOM STORYLINE LEFT TURN ALERT. So she does. Because, contractual obligations. In other news that makes no sense, Reza is dress up like a cowboy and MIke is dress like an Afgani cab driver.
Naked Jenga?
But before we get to Naked Jenga, we must suffer through some charades. Mike bought some very expensive flowers and is obsessed with the fact that they forgot the card. This has to be storyine, right? It has to have some sort of resolution at the end of the episode because it has gotten so much camera time.
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Destiney finally gets her shit disturbing scene where she tells Mike that when Reza is out of town Adam has naked jenga parties. I so hope this is true, but I highly doubt it. So these two run straight to Reza. Mike even says that he doesn’t think it is true. They also tell him that Destiney’s friend Ali says that Adam texts him sexual things. Destiney says that everyone was naked when Adam played Jenga. Lies. Wait and see. I hope all of this is true, and Adam is having fun. But it’s probably not.
Apparently, Mercedeh was on bedrest and was not able to come. That didn’t stop Destiney from throwing her under the bus by telling Reza that Mercedeh knows about the situation. I am not going to like Destiney this season, I can already tell. Then Destiney has the nerve to tell Adam she loves him and give him a very long goodbye hug. What a duplicitous bitch. My source told me that Reza is doing the most this season to renegotiate his contract for more money. Clearly, Destiney is trying to keep her gig as well. Then she cries in confessional. I went to pull a photo of Destiney crying. Guess what she is crying in 90% of the screenshots I have of her.
The very last line is Reza asking Adam about “strip Jenga.” To be continued…
Bonus Round Extra Tea and Reza On WWHL
This season, Tara Radcliffe from Newlyweds appears as a friend of Golnesa’s. I do not remember her from that show. Hell I have totally forgotten that whole show. But more importantly, Tara was also involved with R. Kelly this is apparently why she is on the show this season. My sources said that Bravo specifically wanted to include the R. Kelly stuff. Great job, misogyny channel!
WWHL
Andy is hard selling Dr. Jackie’s book about vaginas. Why? It is the first book published by his publishing imprint. Because vaginas and misogynists go together like peas and carrots.
Reza seems to blame Mercedeh for the rumors about Adam and says this is the beginning of the fracturing of their relationship. He also seems very supportive of working through a bad marriage, when Dr. Jackie talks about reconciling with her husband.
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Y’all this is the biggest sacrifice I have ever made for you watching this shit show. Andy can’t stop talking about vaginal health and acting like he knows all about it. It’s one of the worst WWHL episodes ever.
The big news is that Reza meets with Ali and reads all of Adam’s apparently inappropriate text messages and confronts him. Adam basically says he was joking. Then he says when he feels comfortable with people he feels like it is okay to ask anything and everything. Reza threatens divorce if Adam doesn’t stop.
Reza and Mercedeh do not speak and he has not seen the baby. Adam says the he 100% believes he and Adam will still be together in five years. For Adam’s sake I hope he flees to freedom and happiness. Reza says that Asa ghosted Adam and they are no longer friends.
Destiney was really getting on my nerves in this episode with all her voy voy voy voy voy ing. With all of the characters on the show and their lawsuits and crazy ship going down Why is she a main character? why are nema’s chiclet teeth A major story line? For sure that guy is on the down low That’s why I was so surprised to see Mike squeeze Adam’s a**.
I can court four gays and 2 downlows .. for sure during these dudes are booty bumping at the Red Roof Inn
naked jenga = choosing a piece of wood out of a pile of wood
🙂
Perfect take on the Andy’s misogyny & Queen V, his self-promoting publisher tour, and aspirations to be our modern-day Hearst with just as much creepy control of his puppet world. The new R.Kelly cast member makes this Shahs even more cringey, if possible. And next, previews of the Bravo scripted cultural humiliation of the Indian-Americans community, ugh.
GG & Mike make some of the scariest faces on reality tv while filming their scenes. GG’s upteenth public meltdown with crazy eyes. Mike’s twitching bug eyed convos with Paulina and searching for the card in his flowers. These two are high on their own supply (or Bravo’s) and in dire need of an inpatient stay to even out.
The rails are clearly designed for maximum train wreck impact fueled by Bravo cash, celebrity and pulling checks when the crash drama fails to draw a crowd. Cast likability is apparently not a priority.
I remember Tara from Newlyweds! What ever happened to that show? I remember her marrying a white guy and they talked about the cultural differences and how much of a struggle that was in the relationship… maybe something about helping to support your family which she wanted to do with her husband’s money? Does that ring a bell? I remember her showing up in recent seasons as someone who slept with Mike maybe? I feel like this is all so scattered!
Thanks for the recap! I can’t decide if I’ll watch, it doesn’t seem likely. I always appreciate your recaps!!
I remember Tara from Newlyweds and was not surprised her marriage ended quickly plus she was spending a lot of her husband’s money before they were married to pay her parents bills
I remember that. For some reason I thought the Indian girl married the white guy. But yeah she married a white guy named Rob and they spilt.
They actually got back together and remarried last year. This was after she allegedly cheated on him.
She’s back with rob, her husband. It’s not clear if it was scripted or not, but she apparently cheated on her husband with shervin. She was the one on newlyweds who had threesomes with her sleazy, white husband. Tamara, you’re thinking of Tara and tarzou. She was the Indian singer with the nice, white Tech guy.
I remember the girl that was married and dating (to use a euphamism) Shervin. I didn’t make the connection. It seems Tara just wants to be on TV and Mike needs story line. Did the Indian singer and the white guy work out?
They’re still married. They have 3 kids. She seems like an amazing mom.
Tuned in because I was bored, cannot watch again until Adam leaves Reza.. Adam looks soooo hurt and angry. I can’t sto seeing his face ?
Is Asa out with Shahs of Sunset? I have the impression she might make an appearance here and there, but get the feeling she’s pretty much washed her hands from all these idiots.
Asa would be foolish to appear again after the entire cast tortured her during her pregnancy. Love & miss Asa but hell to the no on her being with this crop of degenerates. As for dropping Adam I’m sure Reza played a big part in severing their friendship. Reza is a monster of EPIC PROPORTIONS.
I think Tara slept with Shervin while she was married. I remember them trying to make it a storyline but Shervin refused to say anything. They were at a bowling alley or roller rink.
Oh that was Tara? Jeez when did she have time to hook up with R Kelly during all of this?
I didn’t like Destiney when she was on The People’s Couch. IMO she always tried too hard so she could get more camera time and it seems she’s doing the same thing on Shahs. And I really don’t like how she threw Mercedeh under the bus when she wasn’t there to defend herself. Way tooo thirsty Destiney.
I’ve never watched this show, but watched last night because I didn’t want to watch the Oscars.
Are there any likable characters on this show? Does Golnesa always act like that?
she’s seems better now that she doesn’t wave knives at everybody.
LOL This made me crack up for real.
I love Golnesa, but she is an acquired taste. If this is the first episode you have seen GG, and you have concerns… um… hold on to your hat. 🙂
MJ’s husband is likable. They were not on last night she was having a rough pregnancy and was about ready to pop.
Likable is such a strong word. I’d say Tommy is the most liked person on the show. And MJ and Tommy have an adorable kid and we haven’t met MJ the mom yet.
FREE ADAM
Reza is a narcissistic misogynist………..he doesn’t like men either. He’s nasty and ugly. Look at his face…..look at his eyes…….he’s soulless.
Tara Radcliffe from Newlyweds was on Shahs 2 seasons ago bc she slept with Shervin. The girl from this season who dared R. Kelly is Sara Jeihooni. Two different people.
Oh thank you! That’s right about Shervin. I thought she had slept with mike! Good to know about the second person… it’s hard to keep up when I’m not actually watching and only doing the recaps. Thanks!
Especially since I don’t know the difference between Sara and Tara apparently. I am so confused and I am supposed to be steering the ship.
I never hold it against you because you make me laugh so hard!! Seriously… I love your commentary ?
Tara Radcliffe from Newlyweds was on Shahs 2 seasons ago bc she slept with Shervin. The girl from this season who dared
R. Kelly is Sara Jeihooni. Two different people.
Just reminding myself. I keep reading the comments via email and they are all about the Newlyweds and I sort of lost touch with this explanation.
So technically we know nothing about this Sara chick unless we google. her. Not a whole that there than was there before she was announced on Shahs, It does look like she was hanging with him in 2018.
Not sure what I saw. Looked like a pile of stupid. Coming here for recaps. Not sure I will watch the show.
Watching Westminster. Real reality tv.
Reza is repulsive. I so hope Adam not only leaves him, but finds a truly wonderful man and they have beautiful babies that they raise in their gorgeous home in the Hollywood Hills, NOT the valley, lol! I watched WWHL with Dr. Jackie, and she was awful! I hope her book has better information than what she was spewing on the show. I was shocked to hear her say that it was fine to use fruits and vegetables as dildos as long as you washed them first. Not exactly the kind of misinformation you’d expect from a gynecologist! She said a few other stupid things that I don’t remember now, but I was really surprised at how wrong much of her information was.
Reza is a narcissist. I think Adam has developed some passive-aggressive ways trying to deal with Reza. They seem a total mismatch to me. It seems narcissist Reza would want an arm-candy kind of partner, a flashy Persian. He treats Adam terribly, but I have lost respect for Adam for putting up with it.
I shudder to think of Golnesa as a parent. She is way too violent and unstable.
Could Paulina possibly be more annoying??
Not fair to blame Adam for someone else’s treatment of him. It goes back to childhood.
Seems to me that he’s getting sick of it and will leave.
Mike – seriously all your Exs love you? You crapped all over Jessica, let your friends drag her by calling her a gold-digger, surprisingly she always had more money than you, made her look like a fool and tried to lay the blame on her for a failed marriage and you cheating. So you’re sticking with that story? What about the girl you were living with last season who moved out? Did anyone ask her how she feels about you? We know how Mona felt about you.
If Jessica got a nickel for every time she got dragged up on this show she double her wealth. Funny how the last time she mentioned you was to basically say don’t believe a word of what came out of your mouth in an interview about her son.
So rumor is he’s living with his rich girlfriend because he’s pretty much broke which could be possible because did any of his “business” pan out? Real estate, shoes, clothing – Reza put a stop to one t-shirt, possible CBD venture also. What exactly does he do besides Bravo?
Nothing and the super long hiatus between this season and last left him hurting for income. These people set themselves up in rentals they will not be able to afford after the show goes away. I believe that Reza is the only one who has bought a home.
The show has been gone for so long that I forgot all about Destiney and her dead/stoned eyes, it took me a minute to realize she’s a regular. I also feel that they filmed it so long ago we already know everything that’s coming. MJs baby will be in college by the time we meet him in person. Why did they wait so long to air this season?
Oh and mikes gf and all the terms of endearment ? ? ?
I give Paulina a pass because she is the only cast member with real money.. even though it’s through child support and alimony. Each and every one of the cast members is living a fake lifestyle. These people are definitely not Shahs and not a good representation of the young Persian group of individuals who live and work in the Los Angeles/Beverly Hills area. I seriously believe Andy found these rejects at the Dollar Tree
Andy had nothing to do with casting this show nor is is a producer.
I’ve heard really good things about DrJackie’s book. Emily Nagoski who wrote “Come As You Are” (hands down my favorite book about women & sex), called it “approachable and easy”. Which is high praise when it comes to a book about female sexuality- we’re complicated. It’s on my reading list.
Source: I’m a sex educator with 3 decades of experience. Emily has a PhD from Kinsey at University of Indiana – in academic sexuality, that’s basically MIT & Harvard put together. In other words, I trust her assessment implicitly.
I loved this show the first season because the Shahs had longtime relationships and I got to learn about the Persian and Persian-American culture (and the delicious food). GG was crazy and Mercedeh way over the top. There was some real emotion. Now it seems so fake.
Maybe Adam and Gage can hang out and do a Podcast: Flipping Out Over Shady Jenga.
I am glad Shams isn’t here to see what happened between MJ and Reza.
“Maybe Adam and Gage can hang out and do a Podcast: Flipping Out Over Shady Jenga.”
I love this idea!
Have Adam and Reza ever heard of a lawn mower instead of cutting the back yard with a weed eater.. also, the way Mike and his girlfriend talk to eachother is sickening