Well hello! Guess who’s back to do your Summer House recap? I’ve missed you all! I’ve missed our guys and gals of summer as well. So let’s dive in headfirst into what will most likely be a shit show of epic proportions! We begin with our gang getting ready to go to the Hamptons. How gorgeous is the Hamptons? Especially that Hamptons’s house they stay in? The house got a bit of a facelift in the kitchen area which looks great. That house is a dream.
I’m happy to report that the Paige and Hannah friendship is going strong. They are THE couple of the house now-watch your back Kyle and Amanda! Speaking of, these two are awkward already. Kyle is bitching about their engagement and living together. He actually calls it “brutal”. Do we have an over and under on these two? Kyle then tells Amanda (and us) that Carl and Lindsay hooked up. Well, the term is finger bang, which when he says it sounds skeevy and juvenile. Julia Daoud, aka Jules, Hannah’s friend, is a new roommate. She’s from Jordan. She’s a cute brunette so Carl will be trying to hit that ASAP. Lindsay is already jealous. It’s going to be a good summer y’all!
Oh How I’ve Missed Angry Kyle
We are treated to another roommate named Luke Gulbranson. He is a model/hockey coach. He’s kind of hot, definitely an upgrade from Jordan. We learn that Paige has a new boyfriend! He may not be part of the show, we’ll see. Over dinner, Kyle and Amanda try to tell the story of how they had a wedding venue picked out but it fell through. Amanda actually said she was RELIEVED when it fell through. Hannah and Paige have had some drinks so they have a hard time keeping up with the story. Kyle gets fed up and rips them a new one for laughing at his wedding getting postponed.
Hannah tells us that the last time we saw them, Kyle and Amanda almost broke up. Then they got engaged. She’s not sure why she has to be upset over a wedding it seems like neither of them want. Amanda leaves the table, upset that Kyle is so angry at her friends.. Newbie Jules Daoud hasn’t learned how to deal with Angry Kyle yet, so she breaks her chair and falls over as a diversion. That’s how I’m looking at it anyway because it was funny as hell. It gets Kyle to shut up anyway.
Finger Banging Good Time
In the kitchen, Kyle tries to get Amanda, Paige and Hannah to understand why he flew off the handle. They aren’t listening and don’t seem to care. Amanda sides with them which enrages Kyle further. Kyle tells us that the reason he got so angry is that he and Amanda have not been getting along. This really doesn’t bode well if they can’t withhold the stress of living together plus planning a wedding.
After that drama subsides a bit, Hannah corners Carl about his status with Lindsay. She brings up fingerbanging. Carl is PISSED that Kyle is playing telephone with his and Lindsay’s hookup. He says that they only hooked up once but never spoke about it. Now the entire house is talking about it. He is afraid that Lindsay will think he was bragging about their hookup which wasn’t the case. He doesn’t want her to be mad at him or hurt her.
The Morning After
The next morning everyone wakes up hungover but ready to take on the Hamptons. Amanda and Paige talk about their relationships. Paige is very happy with her boyfriend. Amanda is very unhappy with hers. She likens Kyle to her dad who bosses her around and makes her do chores. Does the engagement get called off at the season finale?
They all finally head to the beach in the afternoon. I’m so old that it mortified me that they arrived so late. 10 am is the latest this old ass and her zoo get to the beach! The girls pick up on a weird vibe with Carl and Kyle. They want to know what the deal is. Carl is terrified but takes Lindsay aside to let her know that the entire house knows about their hookup. I think he’s shaking a little bit. Wow. He is smitten with her, that’s for sure.
Flirting With Disaster
Lindsay takes the news well. Carl is both impressed and turned on by Lindsay’s cool reaction. Hannah flirts hard core with Luke. Carl and Kyle wander off to talk more. Carl confesses that he has feelings for Lindsay. Kyle wants him to proceed with caution because Lindsay will fuck him up if he starts playing games. When it becomes Kyle’s turn to confess, he says that he and Amanda have no sex life. They are miserable when they should be building the foundation of a happy home. It’s kind of sad to watch him as he confesses because you can see how it’s affecting him.
Back at the house, everyone gets ready to go out for dinner. While they wait for their food, Lindsay asks Carl to step away to talk. Lindsay wants clarification as to what is happening between them. Carl has no clue. He’s confused because he thinks of Lindsay as his best girlfriend who he also has feelings for. He tells her that he cares about her and loves her…and that’s how we end. Almost. Carl has called her “Hubbhouse” about 50 times already. I will NOT co-sign this relationship if this type of bullshit is allowed. Call her “Lindzz”, “Hubbard” but HUBBHOUSE? WTF is that?
Next week on Summer House recap: More Lindsay and Carl discussing their relationship. Amanda and Kyle have to answer to Amanda’s parents about what is happening with the wedding. Paige tells Hannah that her boyfriend is older and established but that she doesn’t know what she wants out of life yet. I hope y’all enjoyed the recap! See you in the comments!