It never fails that on a day with nothing much to post about, as soon as it is time to do a recap, something is brought to my attention. I am exhausted. In case you missed it. Click here for my busy and mildly traumatic day. Let me try to pound out this RHONJ recap. Will Teresa and the girls make it to the ICE facility?
Wait. How is it that Teresa has copies of her license? Oh she is calling Joe Gorga to go to her house and take photo copies of everything. I usually have a copy of my passport in my purse but only when I am traveling.
Daughters And Delusions
Of course we don’t see any of the visit. Teresa and the girls were inside for about three hours. Gia and Teresa say he looked really skinny and worn out. Melania is very quiet. Gia says she is sad that she couldn’t touch him. Teresa asks her if after seeing where he is if she still wants him to keep fighting. She says yes. Joe calls. It sounds like he was checking on Milania. Poor baby. Someone needs to explain to them that he will be living in Italy. The adults all know this is the end result.
Dolores’s daughter is home from school. She’s attending veterinarian school in St. Kitts. She asks her mom about moving in with David. She says that she is not moving in without a commitment. Dolores says if things don’t work out it will suck to see whoever he ends up with in the house where she picked every single thing.
Sisters & Sperm Counts
Jennifer go out to lunch outside on a nice sunny day. Jennifer tells Bill about the abject travesty of her decision to serve pizza at her kid’s birthday party. Bill says pizza is fine for kids, but if adults will be there,”what did I tell you,I want five different things because culturally that is how we grew up.” Jennifer is planning to apologize to Jackie and MAYBE Melissa. How noble of her.
Melissa meets up with her mom and two sisters. Melissa is struggling with Antonia wanting to dress like a stripper for her dance. Her mother says she remembers Melissa being the same way. They grow out of it at age 21. When Melissa announces that she wants another baby, they all tell her she is insane and having a midlife crisis.
I Feel Nothing For You!
Back in the house that crime built, Nono is disappointed that the girls and Teresa are always on diets and don’t want to eat what he cooks. He slices up pear and some cheese. Gia says that is a weird combination that she doesn’t want to try. It is not a weird combination. It is delicious if the cheese is good.
Joe comes over to fix the sink at Teresa’s. Gia tells Joe that she still wants her dad to fight to be in the US. I feel like Joe Gorga is going to have another talk with her to try to make her understand that this is pointless. I told you guys from day one Joe Giudice is going to be deported. And he was.
When Teresa and Joe talk privately, she tell him Joe keeps saying all these weird things to her. He told her he felt nothing for her. Um wait, didn’t Teresa say the exact same thing to him when she was in jail? According to Teresa, Joe told her to go find someone else, he would not care. Joe says that he never thought Joe treated Teresa the way she should have been treated. He didn’t give her any affection.
Caviar Dreams On A Tunafish Budget
I’m going to skip Jackie’s conversation with her father about her eating issues. Other than to say that her father seems to have eating issues of his own. He has a lap band. Oh and I need those people to come do my kitchen.
Margaret is hosting a party to celebrate the 20th anniversary of her MacBeth collection and there is still a lot of time left in the show so this will probably be a huge disaster. I am not a Shakespeare fan but doesn’t Lady Macbeth kill herself and Macbeth himself gets beheaded? It doesn’t sound like a very good name for a product line.
Dolores invites everyone to go to the shore for a few days. What could possibly go wrong with that? Melissa is pissed that Jennifer just waves and says hello in passing. Actually I think that is the right course of action. They are at a business event. This is not the time for drama. So, of course we will have drama.
Marge Senior looks amazing as usual.
Melissa is waiting on her apology. Jennifer says that she is not going to smooth things over. Dolores says that she needs to apologize since they are all going to the shore. She encourages Jennifer to make things right. Jackie feels bad for not talking to Bill. She really likes him. Jennifer says she feels kind of bad about her behavior, but she is nervous. Then Teresa gives her permission to apologize so off she goes.
Jennifer’s apology starts off really good, like she has a lot of practice apologizing. Jackie isn’t having it though. She say that Jennifer ruined the whole trip. Jennifer says that technically it was Marge that did that. She was the one that brought their private conversation to the lunch table. She’s not lying. Jackie says that she has heard Jennifer’s apologies before and yet the behavior continues. Jennifer reports back to Margaret, Teresa and Dolores by trash talking Jackie for not accepting her eleventy billionth apology of the season.
Joe Gorga tracks down Bill to tell him to get his wife off his wife’s back. Joe says that Jennifer needs to stop throwing shit at Melissa. Then, Joe tells Bill that Jennifer is sexually frustrated and he needs to start giving it to her more. Then Bill runs to Jennifer to tell her what Joe Gorga said. Jesus. What a pussy.
Margaret gives a closing speech and says a lot of nice things about her mother. That was sweet. They both cry and hug. It’s time to dance! Dolores tells Margaret that Joe Gorga was really rude to Bill.
Next week: It’s Gia’s prom and the fighting resumes on the Jersey Shore.