As luck would have it Chrome froze up and then crashed completely as I was just about to begin this Vanderpump Rules recap. So, let’s hope Chrome can keep it together long enough for me to get through this. The oldbies are still in Miami. The bitches continue to harp on Kristen for staying in what they have decided is an unhealthy relationship.
Kristen brings up that Schwartz cheated on Katie. Oh and Katie still spent years begging him for a ring.. Jax cheated on Stassi with EVERYBODY in the continental United States and she is about to marry him. Brittany is about to marry Jax and everyone is fine with that. But because, Stassi’s boyfriend is kind of a mooch because he doesn’t make as much money as she does this is apparently a great reason to shit all over Kristen. It is apples and oranges Katie everyone of them except for Kristen is an apple and Kristen in the orange. If the genders were reversed or if Kristen was mooching off whatshisface, then there would be no issue. Brittany demands an adjournment to a strip club.
Grumpy Old Men
Meanwhile the guys, Beau, Jax, Schwartzt and Sandoval have profession movie makeup people to make them look like grumpy old men. They are going to the strip club to crash the girl’s party. The Strip Club is E11even. This place is a million years old and I know because I went there once a million years ago. I don’t think they had strippers then. Maybe they did. I’m from Atlanta and there are strippers and strip clubs everywhere and everyone goes and it’s just not a thing.
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Well Vicki Gunvalson would NOT approve of this. The girls are making out and grabbing titties. Oh wait Vicki used to do that too. She just didn’t like when Braunwyn made out with her girlfriend. Sorry. Ben and Jerry’s was buy one get one at the Publix today and I am enjoying some Pistachio Pistachio. I just can’t recap Katie. She’s awful someone needs to rescue Schwartz.
Pride & Prejudice
I am also not down with LVP’s fake support for the LGBT community. Sadly, she has most of them duped. She is NOT and ally. She’s an opportunist. She makes 25% of her annual revenue off Pride. Max is going to hire James Kennedy to DJ at Tom Tom for Pride.
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Meanwhile at SUR, Danica tells Dayna that Max is a no good dirty dog. Danica says that one of the other new servers Adriana was in what she thought was a relationship with Max. Then, on her 30th birthday he slept with her friend. Danica is an odd one. She totally ignores Danica and now she wants to be her best friend. Why? Because she is trying to help Scheana sabotage Danica’s relationship with Max. Later Max drops by Dayna’s apartment. Max feels badly that Dayna is hated at work because of him. Dayna tell Max about the Adriana story and he says it was not like that at all and she is making shit up. Danica seems like a snake. She puts LVP and Todd in Dayna’s station. She does great. LVP
is already talking about Danya being a manager.
I’m Sorry But…
Wait. Lala and Peter are sharing a room? Why? Could she use some of her blow job money to get her one room? Stassi goes to bed early as usual. NTTAWWT. And apparently, Beau has resigned himself to the fact that he has to turn in early with her. The remaining three old men, Kristen, Arian and Brittany are still up being silly. Kate has gone to bed Tomless. The guys have to sleep in their make up until the next day when the professionals come to remove it.
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Schwartz leaves with Ariana and Sandoval. He says Katie went to bed mad and he doesn’t know why. Ariana starts to clue him in about the girl fight with Kristen. But Sandoval interrupts to say that he needs to explain something to Schwartz. They cannot serve alcohol at Tom Tom without serving food. This is about Stassi’s book party fiasco. This argument with these two made up as old men is really odd. I can see this happening in the future just like this. Schwartz says Sandoval’s apologies always come with a ‘but.’ Production rolls that beautiful bean footage. It’s true. They get emotional and hug it out.
Waking Up To Strangers
Peter and Scheana are sharing a room with twin beds. Maybe Lala did get her own room. The grumpy old men all wake up still old. There are mirrors on the ceiling at this hotel. Jax cannot stand seeing himself. He starts ripping off his old face. They are not supposed to do that the glue will probably take his skin off. Kate tells Schwartz she is over Kristen. Kristen wakes up worried her friends are going to dump her. She’s not wrong.
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All the guys go to Ariana and Sandoval’s room. Jax is still ripping his face off and now he’s using butter knife. The makeup artists arrive none too soon. The girls go to the beach and the guys go to the pool. Kristen and Scheana break off and go to the pool alone. Brittany and Lala tell Katie if she is so mean to Kristen they don’t think they Katie should be friends with Kristen.
Kristen tells Stassi that she and Katie really hurt her feelings. Stassi says she loves her and she is never going to not be her friend. This is not true. She is going to shit on Kristen and fuck her over before the season ends. But, at this point, Kristen believes her and cries. After one last night of partying, it is time to head back to Weho.
Next week is Pride.
So, was the issue about Stassi’s event because they had to serve food if they served alcohol? So they would need to have cooks on staff early to do that? That makes sense. Sounds like ABC regulations.
But I’m sure production would make sure they were following all the rules. ABC laws are different in every state but this show has filmed for so long with alcohol present in just about every scene, why is Tom worried about it now? Is his name on the liquor license perhaps? LVP making sure she isn’t named in future lawsuits.
That’s a new twist. Previously Sandoval said it was because the scheduled bartenders canceled and the replacement bartenders would have ended up working (?12) hour shifts.
Why would all the scheduled bartenders quit when they know it’s a filming? That is the entire reason they all work there.
This group is so cut throat. Kristen was never a favorite of mine, but I really feel bad for her. Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. They need to let her figure things out with Carter, but they won’t. They are a bunch of controlling narcissists. I agreed with Kristen when she said she supported both Stassi and Katie when both Jax and Schwartz were cheating. Everyone supported Brittany through all the Jax/Faith cheating mess. Jax even told Brittany’s dad that he comes first, but the group is all for Brittany and Jax even though he doesn’t treat her well. They are truly horrible to Kristen.
Kristen is & always will be HBIC. Katie & Stacci are such ignorant people who lack intelligence class & empathy . Those two couldn’t be loyal to anyone ( including their partners ) if their lives depended on it. Kristen always gets railroaded by every member of this cast. She deserves so much more than these selfish twats could provide.
Lol! Loved how you spelled Stassi ~ like a bacterial infection! The only diagnoses for Katie & Stassi involve sociopathology. Scream hate, whisper I’ll never really cut you. Ugh.
All excused by the ‘Witches of WeHo’ brand they cultivate for cash with feror. They’re actually more demonic m,covering up the disgusting pasts of their own. DeHo’s.
*fervor
Birds of a truly fucked up feather clearly stick together. Mazel fools.
heh.
Katie and Stassi just need to butt out of Kristen and Carter’s relationship. They go out of their way to quiz her about him. Just butt out.
All these people in their 30s have the maturity level of middle-schoolers.
It was amazing to see the transformation of the guys with the old-age makeup and hair.
I want detective krazy kristen to reemerge and investigate the foursome. That girl has some detective skills. She missed her calling she’d be a great PI.
I kind of understand where Stassi and Katie are coming from (even though Katie is such a raging bitch it pains me say that). It can be exhausting to deal with a friend who is constantly crying and complaining about their terrible relationship yet does nothing to fix it. Everyone deserves to vent some, but sometimes you gotta shit or get off the pot.
Stassi, Katie, and Brittany have all done that. They all threw Brittany a party during her drama with Jax. They are all hypocrites.
I just asked all my coworkers if they slept with Jax, and it is official, Jax hasn’t slept with everyone in the EVERYBODY in the continental United States.
I can’t stand Katie. She is the most awful, rude person on the show. She needs to buy a bra!
You and your friends are just too embarrassed to admit it! 🙂
I am tryin to get into followng the young ones but I just dont care. I could watch the Oldies dress up and do mundane shit all day long.
Can anyone please explain to me what is remotely attractive about that guy Max? All I see is frat douche. I’m over all these immature fuckers. I am deleting this from my DVR but will read TT’s recaps so I can indulge in some smug satisfaction of having banned them from the box.
TT are you sure it was E11even you went to? They’ve only been open since 2014. I’m thinking it may have been Mansion which was never a strip club. Or the other giant place that was on Washington in South Beach. Opium? LIV? Story?
Anyway, that ‘old man’ makeup was useless, weird, and borderline offensive.
I like Kristen. Katie is always pissed. She never seems blissfully happy.
LaLa cannot be the voice of reason with Jax.
I guess not. And the other names don’t ring a bell. OH!!! It was LIQUID! It just came to me. Does that place still exist?
Yes!! Club Liquid! Owned by convicted murderer and FBI informant Chris Paciello who owned it with then Madonna BFF Ingrid Casares. He actually dated Madonna for a while.
I remember when Tequila Katie was awful to Scheanna at a birthday party. The next day, one of the Sur minions was having a yard sale and when Kristen and Stassi tried to talk with her about her mean behavior she screamed, “because I hate myself,” as she scrambled away.
That is the key — Katie hates herself and has to make herself feel good by putting down others. I felt bad for her then, but now … pot – kettle, bitch. Screaming that Kristen has NEVER been happy in a relationship, etc. I shudder to think of her as a mother. Please, God, Noe.
Kristen has difficulty with separation, this has been seen with Sandoval and James. She WAS THERE for Stassi when the group froze her out. This is a difficult time for her and we can see her TRYING to break things off. These girls are not good friends. They need to go suck a dick.
Totally agree with all of this.
I hate to break the news but Stassi, Katie and Brittany supposedly have a pregnancy pact to all be pregnant at the same time. Not sure that will even work. But it’s the plan. UGH.
Since to one is really commenting here I am going to do a quick off topic comment. Apologies.
I need my Lentil Season Squad to please report here. It’s time to start heading in that direction…..
https://tamaratattles.com/2019/04/20/the-end-of-the-lentil-season-is-upon-us/#comment-600753
Brit saying that Kristen looks up to her and Jax was so delusional!!!!
Also, Katie telling Tom she doesn’t like to get involved in his affairs…SMH
Agree! I laughed when Brittany said that.
i read somewhere that someone who was at the book signing saw the 7-8 takes they did between stassi and sandoval and how the first time stassi yelled at Tom1 she was about to laugh… not sure if this is a good source and i hope i’m not breaking any rules
It’s fine and interesting. We often forget how many takes they do for some of these scenes. ESPECIALLY the staged ones.
But I kind of believe that the Toms are broken up and that Sandoval, Ariana, Kristen and Scheana are all “not allowed to sit with” the rest of them.
Do you think they ever have real fights and the producers think it’s good tv and make them reshoot? I’m hoping so, but not really expecting it.
watching a lot of Bravo shows, I’d say definitely
staged is completely right.
on that note… i’d rather “sit” elsewhere than sit with them anyway. grade school drama.
i happened to watch stassi and kyle cooke on WWHL and stassi still kissing ariana’s ass, screaming “i LOVE ariana! i just don’t like when she defends her bf when i’m pissed at him!” she knows her place. HA!
I am not feeling all these Scheana 2.0s that make up the newbie crew…being dumb is never cute and they certainly take vapid to a new level.
Dayna is Ariana 2.0 right down to the I do comedy. I like her the best out of the bunch, but that really isn’t saying much.
Katie continues to be vile and unable to cop to being wrong ever.
I have never liked Katie. She is mean and nasty for no good reason. She comes off as she’s better than anyone. Katie needs to be taken down a peg. That’s why as much as James was wrong to body shame. He didn’t put up with her crap. And that’s why she doesn’t like him. She disgusts me
I agree that Katie is often mean and nasty for no reason. BUT this season she had plenty of reasons and was actually nicer than ever to the other stews.
Who is James and who did they body shame? Is this from a preview season? Because I have a full blown case of CRS. 🙂
Girl, your CRS made you post this on the wrong thread. This is VPR. Wrong Kate/Katie. I think you’re overdoing it with the exercise and Lentil. C’mon, man, the slothfulness is so much easier. 😉 xo
This isn’t Below Deck and James is James Kennedy. I can hear the theme to Twilight Zone!
i’ll bet ariana and tom won’t go to stassi and the assistant, i mean Bone’s wedding. especially since catty stassi really doesn’t want kristen there.
obvi, team #arianatom here 🙌🏻