Welcome Back MAFS Recap readers! I usually would have done this early today but I am going through a sane patch and am starting to leave the house and stuff. Today I went to Whole Foods and spent ungodly amounts of money on sanity water and organic salad fixings and stuff. If you guys do The Lentil Season with me… I am gearing up for an early start for 2020 so start mentally preparing. As soon as it warms up a bit, we will need to lace up our waddling shoes and get on the healthy eating bandwagon.
Also, I know some of you want to do spoiler this season for MAFS and I am usually against it. However, I have been completely spoiled by an inside source and there are spoilers all over the place that are hard to avoid. So unless there are a lot of objections, we might as well go ahead and discuss them. Thoughts?

Meka & Michael
These two stayed in two separate rooms on their first night of the honeymoon. Apparently, Michael gave Meka an ultimatum that she has to sleep with him before the honeymoon is over or he is out. Meka says that he is a perfect gentleman on camera and a total ass off camera. Meka tells the girls the truth about Michael. Later, Pastor Cal called Meka and she told him about Michael’s two personalities. One on camera and one off camera. Pastor Cal is going to straighten him out. Then he calls Michael who is back in his room.
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These two are just sad. The have been there a couple of days and are still not speaking to each other. Finally, they meet on the beach to talk. Michael is not wearing his ring and Meka is. That bothers her. She wants to get to know each other as friends. Michael is not ready to wear his ring yet. So she took hers off. She will put it back on when he wears his. Michael, who moved to his own room complains about her lack of communication.

Mindy & Zach
Minday and Zach also flamed out on the first night and got separate rooms. This has never happened before let alone twice in one season. This is what happens when you go on social media and bribe people who aren’t looking to get married to get married on camera. One of the things my insides source told me is that these people are not really married until thirty days after filming ends. That is when the marriage license are filed (or not filed). I thought that was interesting. They also get paid and are able to keep their jobs without missing much work as they generally film Thursday through Sunday with the exception of the honeymoon week. So it’s a good gig for the attention whore crowd.
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Maybe they did stay in the same room, last week Mindy said she didn’t want to go back to the room. Meanwhile, Saturday night gunfire has started in my hood. Zach seems to realize that being straight with Mindy off camera is going to backfire with regard to his airtime. He is backpedaling for the camera.
Later these two go to the beach to drink wine while sitting on a blanket. Are those rats in the background? The look like rats, but I am going to pretend there are crabs.There are a lot of them. They have to be crabs right?Why couldn’t they get CHAIRS? I have no idea what is going on with their circular argument because, tons of creepy crabs. Zach looks like he has gained five pounds in his face since last week’s episode.
The next day they go to a local village and learn some basket making skills and walk through the rain forest looking at all the trees and flowers. Now this is more my speed. Nary an iguana in sight. Plus, Zach is back to saying all the right things, even though he doesn’t mean them.

Katie & Derek
These too seem happy. It seems they have already had sex. They both love cheese. Decent cheese is what really got me to Whole Foods today. I spent over $15 on two medium sized hunks. It’s a problem. What is also a problem is the giant lizards at this hotel. Panama is under consideration for a place for me to move.
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Derek made their hotel room all romantic with candles he brought from home and rose petals and dessert and wine from the hotel. It’s Katie’s birthday and he wanted to make her feel special. She is totally getting birthday sex. Derek says that he is falling in love for the first time. Birthday sex was had.
Taylor & Brandon
You would think that waking up next to one of the most beautiful women on the planet would cause a man to put up with all sorts of minor irritants. Not Brandon. Taylor, being of the age of constant selfies, took a short video in bed with Brandon while he was lightly snoring. He freaked out when he woke up with her camera recording him. Did he not see the cameraman in the room filming the both? He says he had a panic attack and was freaked out by the whole thing. He’s giving her the cold shoulder.
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Much later in the day, Brandon still hasn’t told Taylor why he is being such a dick to her. He finally tells her that the camera in his face gave him a panic attack. Brandon tells Taylor to “get over it.” She tells him not to speak to her that way and she was not going to be disrespected. He apologies. Taylor asks for better communication. He apologizes again. They make up.
The next day they go to the rain forest preserve and feed the sloths. Taylor keeps comparing Brandon to the testy animals. That night Brandon did the whole MAFS production planned rose petals and a bubble bath with champagne thing. Taylor has clearly never watched the show so she is buying it hook line and sinker. She’s gonna give up the cookie.

Jessica & Austin
These two are going to an iguana house and I do not want to go with them! I am still shocked that these two are getting along so well. I. can. not. with. these. iguanas. Later they do a couples massage. They are definitely having the most fun so far. They are super attracted to each other. I feel like when they get back home, their relationship will become a throuple with his mommy.
Group Date!
Meka arrives sans Micheal who is wandering the beach alone. She admits they got separate rooms because of a disagreement. Jessica and Austin admit they were matched because they are both weirdos. Derek and Katie both have tons of things in common and agree on most everything. Mindy jokes that she and Zach have the same moisturizer in common. Brandon brings up that Taylor woke him up with a camera in his face. He hasn’t even spoken to her about that yet. Michael shows up and totally ignores Meka. Michael is going to be taking a promotion as a principal. Oh, that is why he is such an asshole. Now it makes sense.
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The girls talk and Mindy and Katie are very happy. Mindy shares that Zach is not attracted to her. Zach tells the guys that he felt nothing when he kissed Mindy and the attraction is not there. Jessica and Katie both say they have come close to having sex and expect it to happen soon. Their guys tell the same tale. Despite Meka saying that Micheal gave her a sexual ultimatum, he claims he is not in a rush to have sex at all. I believe Meka.
Group Dinner
Meka and Michael are both still struggling. So, dinner with the other couples kind of make things worse, especially for Meka. The others noticed they are not wearing their rings. Katie and Derek, Jessica and Austen and Mindy both have hooked up. Mindy is happy that Zach kissed her.
Next week things get less romantic for most of the couples. This season is a shit show.
I buy most of my cheese at Trader Joe’s. Except for the $22.99 a pound Parmesan reggiano at Whole Foods—three chunks at a time to limit how frequently I go there. And then my son, who’s on the Spectrum and has, as a consequence, weird eating habits, makes himself angel hair pasta with butter and barbecue sauce and $22.99 a pound Parmesan. Oy!
Did you taste it? My dad had a big stroke which amped up his dementia. One night I asked him what he’d like to drink. He said gin and Dr. Pepper. I said you mean gin and tonic right? He said no, Dr. Pepper. We went round and round for a bit and I made him Gin and Dr. Pepper. I expected him to taste it and hate it. Nope, he liked it! So I tasted it and I must admit it was pretty good! So your son might just invent some new combination that sounds terrible but tastes great! He clearly likes quality ingredients.??
I haven’t watched this episode yet, but I already loathe Zach. His meeting with Mindy’s friends, when he talked about being open to opportunities, showed that he doesn’t have good intentions. He is very selfish. I wish there was footage of what exactly he said to Mindy before she left the hotel room that first night of the honeymoon, but I guess it was off camera. You just can’t bounce back from something like that.
It is cute to see the two happy couples get close to each other. Jessica is hilarious.
I don’t mind the spoilers, and in fact knowing the backstory about production is very enlightening about the weird dynamics between the couples. I do wonder if train wrecks were created on purpose, for the sake of drama. It would be a pretty shitty thing to do to these people. I’ve noticed how little commentary there’s been from the “experts” who supposedly matched these people.
Zach is the very definition of a fuck boy I’m afraid. Mindy seems like a sweet person but I think she might be a little fragile and needy to put up with him. I don’t have a good feeling there.
I vote yes for spoilers! I have been actively looking for them but haven’t found much.
I agree! Unlike most people, I love spoilers, but then I’m the kind of person who fast forwards to the end of a book to find out what happens to certain characters. Now that all the couples are going on social media and spilling the beans before the shows even air, I think it makes it more interesting to watch when you know the truth, as opposed to buying into all the misrepresentation. However, I must admit that, in the old days when I was much more trusting, I did like viewing their lives through rose-colored glasses, but I don’t think there was nearly as much outright deceit then as there is now. If there’s major fraudulence going on with the storylines, I would like to know.
I love to skip to the last chapters of a book and do a quick skim just to see if the story is heading where I think it is. Sometimes I want to be surprised but just can’t help myself, like finding out who won Survivor before it airs on the west coast. Spoilers can be fun 🙂
On previous seasons of MAFS, they’ve made a huge deal over the fact that the couples are legally married and have to get a divorce–they say it over and over ad nauseam–so I was surprised to hear from your source that they are not really married until after filming ends.
If Michael gave Meka an ultimatum about having sex within the week, that is a huge red flag. Be kind and nice and make her *want* to have sex with you. Don’t give her an ultimatum!
PS, Tamara, I meant to say if iguanas creep you out (they do me!), don’t move anywhere tropical. Even south Florida has colonies of iguanas. In my opinion, tropical places look great on TV but are far less pleasant in real life–they have bugs, snakes, reptiles of every sort, snakes, bugs, and reptiles, and you get all hot and sweaty just walking to your car. I used to live in central Florida and had snakes and lizards in our yard all the time. Also, some places in central America (e.g., Costa Rica) have monkeys that can be pretty aggressive. I see House Hunters shows where they tout leaving your patio doors open for “indoor/outdoor living,” and I always know that means you will have bugs and reptiles in your house. Not for me!
Back when I used to travel before people started refusing to take care of Banjo for me, I went to Curacao a couple of times. The first time I went it was after The Bachelor flimed there and I got upgraded to the cottage that one of the runner up crazy girls stayed in. This was in the city and not at the beach so I didn’t have any iguana issues. Also my cottage/room was high on a hill. So even though there were only THREE walls, the only things that came in uninvited were birds. When we took the van to the beach THEIRE WERE GIANT IGUANAS ALL OVER THE PLACE. They didn’t come all the way down to the beach but walking back to the parking lot was terrifying.
When I went back a year or so later,I stayed with the same property owners but at their beach location. I had a really nice set up there with four nice solid walls and a large patio. It was set back in some beautiful flora and unfortunately IGUANAS. They were all over the beautiful windy path to the beach playing under the tropical blooms and beautiful plants. Walking that path was not nearly as serene as they meant for it to be.
Also have Costa Rica on my list of places to retire. The MONKEY. MY GOD. THE MONKEYS.
I lived in south Florida for 10 years and really enjoyed the lizards that came in all shapes, colors, and sizes. It adds to that tropical feel. There were brown basilisks who lived in the bushes outside my front door and they get up on their hind legs and run around. They look like little tryanasaurus rexes and they have a crest that they display on top of their heads. Very prehistoric looking. But I digress..
One of the reasons I have enjoyed MAFS is in the past I have actually learned about relationships as the couples struggle with things that every couple struggle with: conflict resolution, communication, issues with money, sex, relocating, jobs, family. The experts would give advice and I heard some things that anyone can use in their relationship. But this year is different so far. I thought Pastor Cal let Michael off the hook very easily. He didn’t confront him directly did you say that? The experts don’t seem to have Meka’s back in what is a pretty unusual situation.
I’m glad there are two couples who do seem to have a chance although I think it’s dumb luck that any of them have a chance. Based on what I’ve read here and elsewhere, there really isn’t any scientific matching going on.
Mindy’s makeup and hairstyle at the wedding made her look much older than she looks normally. This might have been a little offputting for a first impression but zach isn’t giving the relationship a chance. And now mindy can’t just say whatever and have fun with him or even by herself. If it was me, I’d be out diving, birding, swimming, sightseeing. You’re in Panama! Enjoy! If he’s already checked out of the relationship, you might as well have fun rather than spend all your time beating a dead horse. It’s a sign of death of the relationship when first bumping is the only physical contact. It was totally fake when zach said the best part of the day was being with her. Her bullshit meter went off the scale, you could tell by her reaction. Zach just needs to be straight with her. Don’t kiss her to make her happy and then tell people you felt nothing.
That is all. Carry on.
I vote for spoilers. I agree, This is a shit show season. Production really screwed up recruiting beautiful people instead of finding folk who really want to be married.
And Zach’s face really was bloated. I hate to be mean but he probably did a crash diet for the show and the bloat came back after a sip of water. Lol.
I’m so glad you’re recapping this show and I vote for spoilers too! I don’t really feel like I’m rooting for anyone I’m just fascinated by what some people will do “to find love.”
Since I only rely on you, I don’t watch the show, I’m all in for as many spoilers you can throw at us! Your recaps are better than the actual show.
Sidenote, I always click the Notify boxes, but never get notified. Does anyone else have this issue?
You might want to try clicking the boxes again. Last week or so I got a couple of notifications that someone was following my blog. I hadn’t seen one of those in ages and I knew it was because people were having problems. Unfortunately, I don’t have any control over that. But I’d suggest just trying to check or uncheck and then recheck the next time you post and see if that works. There are about 38Billion components to this website and something is always FUBAR. Sorry.
Yup. I don’t get them either. I gave up trying and just check back in periodically to see if anyone commented to me.
I’m team Meka too. I completely believe he said it. Zach is not good looking at all to me and his hats and bandannas are way too much. So douchey. This season is a mess and I’m so into it!
They are all actors. I have read spoilers elsewhere but shall be quiet. I need Tamara to verify.
Where are these spoilers of which you all speak?
I will try to make a post about them today. I can’t find my insiders email or remember the name because I get so many emails. If things stay quiet today I might have time to do a deep dive and get all the spoiler together for you.
While I’d prefer to not be spoiled, I do love any behind the scenes, production, filming inside scoop. I find it interesting that you say they only film Th-sun as I have always thought such large chunks of their lives are left out.
I’m in the opposite bucket than most for these pairings…
Meka and Michael… I would like to believe Michael was joking about his “ultimatum” while on the plane, but his saying he didn’t say ANYTHING about it when they got to the room is suspect. However, Meka comes off as TOTALLY unlikeable to me. The way she approached the conversation once they got to the room with brow-beating him into a confessing with what he did/didn’t say isn’t how you talk to someone you want a resolution with. It’s how you talk to a child or subordinate when you’re trying to win an argument by making them repeat what you think they said. And she did this AFTER his family warned her about his propensity to shut down during contentious conversations. Who didn’t see that coming?! I sure did. Also, that night at dinner she looked TOTALLY jealous of Katie’s and Derek’s progress in their relationship. If things aren’t going Meka’s way, she’s going to be a wet blanket over everyone’s experience. That is childish behavior, and now I’m sure she isn’t mature enough for marriage. Although, I agreed with her about removing her ring because Michael wasn’t wearing his. Dude is a MESS, but they are both equally messes to me, just for different reasons.
Brandon and Taylor… While I agree that Brandon’s cold shoulder and silent treatment of Taylor was unacceptable and passive-aggressive and childish, when Brandon did finally start using his bog boy words to explain his issue, Taylor was completely dismissive of his feelings! That was just as disrespectful as Brandon telling her to get over his behavior. It was also cold of Taylor and exhibited that she feels she can’t be corrected for her mistakes. I DON’T CARE that they are constantly being filmed on a reality show. Waking up and realizing your significant has been recording you while you’re asleep and she’s snickering about it like there’s a joke to be told is not cool, and he had every right to feel how he felt about it. And she did not apologize once for her part in that, and she’s the one who caused it. They were equally wrong, to me, but I’m glad they made up and got past it.
Zach is as much a douche-nozzel to me as everyone else seems to feel he is. That double talk he was giving Mindy on the beach was sooooo ridiculous! I’m glad she picked up on that.
I’m neutral on the other 2 couples. I’m just glad someone seems to genuinely be getting along.
Meka is one of the most intelligent people on the show. My recollection is that Michael asked Meka what she told Pastor Cal. He clearly wanted to know how much of the douchebaggery behavior he displayed they knew about. Michael is the asshole in this scenario. Meka should just take her toys and go home.
And of COURSE she is jealous of Derek and Katie. They are enjoying each others company and are smooth sailing for now. It’s perfectly normal to be jealous of that.
Um, it is not normal or okay to sit at the table and look like you want to spit nails at everyone who is happier than you. Mindy is also dealing with a butthole yet she managed to be happy for Derek and Katie, at least while sitting at the table with them (although it didn’t come across as an act to me), even though her relationship wasn’t going nearly as well…which speaks to the maturity I mentioned Meka is lacking. Being intelligent, bookwise, isn’t the same as having emotional maturity.
And how Meka relayed the story to Pastor Cal was worse than what she accused Michael of saying when she confronted Michael once they got to the room. That gave me pause as well.
I still think both Meka and Michael have some work to do if the marriage is going to last…which I don’t think it will.
I am curious what new tidbits TT will have for us about the new episode. I already disliked Brandon, but now I’m disliking Taylor, as well.