I’m a bit behind getting started with this Pump Rules recap, because I was out in the world on a sunshiney day! I hope you all enjoyed your day as much as I did. I meant to tell you about tonight’s WWHL this afternoon but time got away. Here is the thing. Sandoval was supposed to be on WWHL tonight. And then on Sunday they switched the guest to Ariana. Doesn’t that seem weird to you? Wouldn’t they both be there together anyway? I meant to investigate that further but didn’t have time. Just something to keep in mind tonight.
Tonight we are taking our angst and arguing on the road as the old gang heads down to Miami for a bachelor and bachelorette party for Jax and Brittany. But first, everyone has to get all up in Kristen’s relationship AGAIN. That annoys the fuck out of me.
I’m In Miami, Bitch!
We arrive in Miami where “Jax Taylor was born.” That was his Miami hooker name modeling name when he lived with the older guy who paid his bills. As soon as they arrive, Sandoval apologizes to Stassi. She accepts and then starts things back up. Not the best authority.
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Where are they staying? I love this hotel. The theme for the bachelor party is Miami brat pack. Tom Sandoval is wearing a fake mustache as part of his costume. I love Sandoval. The party is on a yacht. The ladies are all wearing wedding dresses. Stassi and Beau chat about … whatever. All I gleaned from it is that TomTom doesn’t have good ranch dressing.
I’d Love To Stay And Talk But I Really Mustache!
The guys head to a strip club. Because, guys. Beau wants to chat with Sandoval before everyone gets drunk. Beau says that he owes Stassi an apology. Sandoval says Stassi owes him an apology as well and he is yet to get one. Beau tells us in a confessional that he used to like Sandoval but now he thinks he is kind of a dick. The Toms are about to break up and I am going to be on the side of Sandoval and Ariana. Fuck errybody else.
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Meanwhile, back at SUR LVP is trying to get to the bottom of things with Stassi and Sandoval. I saw Schwartz throw Tom under the bus. I thought it was a preview but I guess it was the actual scene. And checking in with the new girls. Dayna spills the beans that Scheana is hazing her because she is jealous of her relationship with Max.
It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To…
The girls go out to the club. They are all in tacky wedding dresses. None are really as tacky as Scheana’s real one. The witches of WeHo are ignoring Ariana for daring to be Sandoval’s girlfriend. There is a brief scene of fun at the club. And then…
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Suddenly we are somewhere else and Brittany is having a meltdown. Apparently, the girls went to another club and they paraded around a sign that said, Don’t Do It, Brittany! It was clear they do this to all the bachelorette’s and just change the name but Brit is drunk and took it very personally. Stassi of course blames Brittany’s reaction on Kristen. Stassi and Katie are coming for Kristen hard this season and it’s annoying.
Don’t Do It Brittany!
The next morning we see everyone waking up. Jax tells Brittany that they went to a strip club and he just couldn’t get into it. He was the only one with no girl next to him. He just wasn’t interested at all. Production shows him motorboating the strippers, making it rain, and telling the guys he wants to leave Brittany for one of the strippers. Brittany isn’t buying it.
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Today it is a coed party on the yacht. The girl film on the top deck and talk about SUR. Scheana complains about Dayna. Clearly, Scheana thinks about Dayna a lot. Scheana bitches about Dayna not wearing a bra. Lala comes back with, “Oh So you are mad at her tits!” For some reason I found that hilarious.
Pick A Damn Side Lala
Jax’s sister is there. They talk about marriage. She says the first year is the roughest because you can’t get away. Jax says he can’t live without Brittany. Jax also makes it clear that in confessional that they are in fact not on a yacht. They are on a boat, for a booze cruise. He’s not lying. But the guys who paid for it (well who are pretending to pay for it) called it a yacht.
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After joining in with the others on the badmouthing of Kristen,Lala allows Kristen to pull her aside to talk privately. Kristen admits that she and Carter had “closure sex” and he is coming by to pick up his sex toys on Saturday. Lala will totally rely this entire conversation to the witches. Speaking of the witches, Stassi confronts Ariana for supporting her boyfriend. Really? Why would she be on Stassi’s side? Ariana blames Schwartz for the whole situation.
With “Friends Like These…”
Of course Stassi runs to Katie to say that Ariana blames Schwartz for the book party fiasco. So at dinner, Katie confronts Ariana. Then Kristen gets a call from Carter and he needs in her house to pick up his photography equipment. Of course Katie and Stassi interrogate her and treat her like shit. What horrid friends these two are. You let people work out their own relationships and work through their own breakups.
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Kirsten tells someone else at the table if the roles were reversed she would never treat them like this. She has been through it with both of them, like those years Schwartz was fucking around on Katie. Katie calls Kristen a miserable person. Katie does have the market cornered on misery.
Next week: Max wants James to DJ for PRIDE. Yes please. I miss him. I’m off to watch WWHL and see what is going on there. I’ll comment in the comments if there is anything important.
Everyone is awful except Ariana. And actually Kristen. If Katie and Stassi are so happy then why are they so bothered by Kristen and up in her business?
I bitch about most of the Bravo shows, but this is one of my least favs. I watch bits and pieces when it’s on. Part of the loss in interest for me is LVP, also they just seem to old for the drama. It’s like wash rinse repeat, or been there done that. Ariana is my fav of the whole group though, then probably Brittany (even though I don’t understand why anyone would want to marry Jax). I do think she’s too sweet and trusting for Jax.
Thirst is why she’s marrying Jax. She knows inevitably he will break her heart.
That whole freak out Brittany had from taking that comment the way she did is from her conscience. She knows it is the wrong move, but greed has entered her heart and she’s willing to trade the rest of what is left in her heart to be a *star*
Just what I thought also. It bothered her because it’s something she thinks about often. Her doubts were put on display for the world to see and it embarrassed her.
When Stassi came crawling back, her only hope and friend was Kristen who graciously let her stay and helped her be friends with Katie again, not to mention she was a good friend through hr bad relationship as well as introducing her to Beau…wow and what a SHITTY friend Stassi is! Lala and Katie are another no good friends. I wish Kristen all the best…cos she is the best.
I don’t even watch this show anymore. I only read TT’s recaps. It’s time for them all to grow up.
i don’t care what people think but i am totally on ariana and sandoval’s side. cannot stand stassi and katie, probably lala too once i watch the episode. thanks for the recap once again tamara! glad you got some vitamin D!
As much as I think Sandoval is a preening peacock who thinks Tom Tom is all about him he was sort of right. And what I mean by that is that his approach with the rage text wasn’t a good look. He knew about the event and for Schwartz to act like they could just hop behind the bar and take care shit. He is afraid of the bar, well the working side of the bar anyways. Ariana has always been the most real and in touch with reality cast member on this show and I enjoy her. Jax, 🤮, he and Tom shared a twin bed???? Wow. Ok. TMI.
Wasn’t Stassi’s event wine and beer? Anyone can pour wine and beer. Maybe I’m wrong about that but if I’m right I don’t know why Sandoval would get all knotted up about bartenders.
Brittany reminded me of the lyrics from a Sheryl Crow song.
If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
If Brittany is so dad-gummed happy with Jax, why is she so sad and weepy?
Sandoval did not do a proper apology, a proper apology doesn’t have justification immediately afterwards. A proper apology is I am sorry for XYZ, shut mouth. Then you listen to what the other person has to say, you apologize again with the most polite and profuse apology you can muster, follow it up with I hope you can forgive me. Shut mouth again. Never minimize or wipe out your apology with your side or reasons for it. You can always drag that shit out later.
I absolutely loved everyone wearing a tacky wedding dress and then Stassi’s breakdown of the dresses.
I am already tired of the new people they brought on.
Racist Homophobe Max has no place being involved with Pride AT ALL.
Did he do it say something on the show, or do you know this from elsewhere? I haven’t 100% been paying attention – could have missed it. Mostly noticing everyone running from Scheana.
Google max – he said a lot. He’s an idiot. They need to do more research on people before they build storylines. Even in the “craziness” of youth, decent people do not tweet (or think) this crap.
Yeah, when you’re in your twenties you kinda know not to be a public bigot. He wasn’t 5.
I think you are overestimating the intelligence of young college guys. They are morons. I don’t think you can judge Max entirely by the awful shit he said back then.
Don’t flog me too hard for this opinion. I’m an elderly old fag hag with brittle bones.
Your hysterical. Brittle bones. Bahahahaha
Hey, maybe I was a child genius or something, but all I know is my opinions were fully formed and I knew not to say bigoted shit when I was 23. Y’know, cos’ you learn that in pre-school when you’re a Millenial. We were the first generation that was educated to be “woke” from the beginning. Your “cool” Aunt invited her gay friends to her dinner parties because it was Chic AF. LGBT guidance at school. Heck, the country bumpkin town I grew up in that’s stuck in the 50s with a population of 10,00 – most of them sheep – had their own Pride parade. God know for who, but it was there. And we CERTAINLY knew that the N word was out of bounds, never mind mocking someone’s race. If my Granny with Alzheimers knew not to say “coloured” or “queer” in the year 2000, these MEN in their twenties knew it in 2012. Unless the UK really IS that further ahead than the US.
And Jesus Christ certainly not in public. Christ, he can’t even be a SMART racist homophobe.
Take some glucosamine and accept your flogging, woman. 🙂
I noticed Max’s scenes were only when necessary. Hopefully they edit him out completely. Who in this day & age says the things he said? He’s an idiot.
I am totally team Ariana & Tom! Tom was totally wrong sending the text. But, I think it was Stassi & production setting up a book signing and Tom S was out of the loop. I think Tom is all in at TomTom and didn’t want TomTom to come off bad on camera.
As for Kristen, the whole situation Is ridiculous! They seem to be trying to ice out all the single girls. They think they are too “old” for the single-girl drama, well wait till the divorces come along. Suddenly Kristen will be their best friend again.
I think all the married girls have this idea that they are all going to get pregnant at the same time after Stassi gets married and have babies together. They have no real idea that when you have a baby, nothing ever goes according to plan! I am pretty sure I read Kristen joke somewhere that they have pregnancy pact.
Also, Jax should not be showing his knowledge of boats and yachts… #yachtboy 😆😆😆
Did I miss the part where Sandoval was mentioned on WWHL at all? He was supposed to be the guest and then it suddenly switched to Ariana. I saw no explanation. Not knowing why that happened is bugging me.
I have same question. It’s odd.
Maybe because he knows he looked like an egotistical ass
No mention of it at all, seems weird.
very.
I used to love to hate James Kennedy. Every week that he’s not on, I love & miss him even more.
I feel the same way. He can be a real dick, but his snarky wit was comical relief for all the absurdity on the show.
I miss him too.
I’m just watching now and had to take a break to tell y’all I figured out what Katie’s god awful wavy extensions in her talking heads reminds me of! The Starbucks logo girl! Ahhhh, I can finally sleep having figured that out! 💤 💤 💤
LOL Medusa!!!! it is too perfect! 😂
TT- great recap. Don’t understand Kristins behavior with Carter but I’ve never been in that situation so who am I to say her reactions and feelings are wrong. Kristin has a point- if I recall Katie Schwartz -and Jax and Stassi did that same dance as Kristin and Carter. As her friends they should love and support her unconditionally and stop with the lectures shut their mouths and be a soft place for Kristin to fall cuz if history predicts future behavior they might be dancing that dance again. I think one of the reasons Stassi and Katie are angry at Kristin is because when they look at her they see their own reflection.
Wasn’t Stassi several years younger than Kristen though. You could conceivably give Stassi the youthful ignorance excuse
Stassi is narcissistic in the way that she can’t relate to people who are having a different experience than her. If she talked to single Kristen, or Arianna, whose not getting married or having a baby, she wouldn’t know what to talk about. She wants everyone around her to reflect what she’s going through. Puke! Jax is kind of that way too. Katie is just a grumpy follower of Stassi. Lala just wants fame and money, she’ll hang out, take sides with or blow anyone who’ll get her closer to that.
Jax is coming hard for Ariana in interviews and on social media. Why? It is a horrible look.
jax is a homophobic, self righteous POS. he is just trying to go after ariana because he thinks he will be hurting sandoval, by saying she is bi or gay or whatever… she is open about it & he is one to talk, didn’t he have affairs with miami guy? that old man needs to go the fuck away with his airhead wife
Let’s not forget about the stripper he got pregnant.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they are staying at the SLS Hotel in South Beach! It is one of my very favorite bars so I hope they show it! It is very Alice In Wonderland.
I’m perplexed that the guys went to the sixth or seventh best strip club in Miami. That just doesn’t make any sense that they are at some janky strip club.
Scarletts first, then E11even Miami.
It’s all about what venues approve having production. Every venue is scouted in advance and not many allow filming – especially, inside a strip club. I was kind of surprised they showed what they did.
I didn’t enjoy E11even went I went a couple decades or so ago. I was on a business trip in Boca Raton and went really early, by myself, just to say I’d been. I was in business attire and clearly NOT FROM MIAMI lol. I was a bit older than the usual crowd. As the place filled up people (female patrons) were mean. lol. Apparently, friendly was not the modus operandi. lol.
Oh and there were no strippers then.
E11EVEN is pretty much all strippers any longer unless you are on the roof. Miami is trashy for sure.
It was very early in the night when I was there in my pants suit and silk blouse. LOL I was a fish out of water. I think they had barely opened the door. I stayed an hour or two and took a cab back to Boca.
I was working for the AMA association or whatever it was but for doctor’s WIVES. It was dreadful. I kept sneaking out of the conference to go walk on the beach and smoke cigarettes. LOL. Doctor’s wives conventions are like hell on earth. So much entitlement and privilege.
TT, I’ve never believed you’re Kenya Moore. But you *might* be the casting director for Married to Medicine! haha At the very least, your work experience makes you well qualified for that job!
Hey hey TT long time follower. I take offense to your comment being a doctors wife. Actually, no I don’t 😂😂I praise Jesus my husbands colleagues have finally stopped trying to set me up with their wives. I don’t do people LOL. They call me anti social, I just like who I like 🤷🏼♀️
I used to love this show. It really has lost its lustre this season. Maybe I’m just getting older, but I find it harder to relate with or admire these people. I think Tom S hams it up for the camera x 1000. He is a narcissist maniac. He was way out of line in his text to Stassi in my view. He likes hamming it up for tv whenever he can. Whether he’s angry and talking with his hands as veins pop out of his overly botoxed forehead, or dressed in the most flamboyant notice-me attire. He’s an attention whore. He used to be hot, but I’m in my mid-thirties now and don’t like pretty boys.
I think Sandoval was out of line with the WORDING of the text, BUT I am on his side. Stassi KNOWS that there is a division of duties at TomTom and she KNEW what she was doing going to Swartzie. I don’t understand what is going on about the freak out when Swartzie told him about it in an earlier clip. I THINK he freaked out because ax didn’t get told and that means Swartzie dropped the ball. And Ariana is right. Katie is a miserable bitch, Stassi is at least funny, Sheanna is ridiculous. Brittany is dumb, but very crafty. WHO MOVES out to L.A. to live with a guy they barely know… Someone who has climbed to her deadend peak in Kentucky with a job at Hooters, that’s who. If they split, maybe she can live off the profits of Mamaw’s Beer Cheese.
I LOVE James Kennedy. Reality TV gold. I wish the best for his sobriety. He can be funny without booze.
James has really good timing. I didn’t realize that I liked him until this season because he has been left out so far. He is way better than the new dudes. The new guys dont mesh well.
I want to start a petition to #BringBackJames permanently.
Lala has also been very self righteous in her on camera interviews and outside interviews. Somewhere she commented in regards to Tom Sandoval “remember/know your place”. Who the fuck is she to tell anyone to remember their role? Girl, you couldn’t even win in a Twitter fight with 50 cent because your man actually owed one million dollars to another person. Don’t try to give Sunday school lessons on morals while bragging about bow jobs for cars.
🤮 her and katie 🥴