Sorry for the delay in this week’s RHONJ recap. I’ve been watching the impeachment trials and just before the dinner break last night decided I needed a nap. I didn’t wake up until five am! So, of course they apparently had a good episode without me! Argh! Let’s get straight to the episode.
We pick up with Teresa’s arrival to Jennifer’s with a huge chip on her shoulder. Jennifer tries to explain to Teresa why Margaret is so hurt. Teresa is clueless as usual. Then everyone comes together to drink some wine and Teresa and Margaret start to talk. Teresa says she has a special place in her heart for Margaret. So far so good? When Teresa tries her old standby and says Danielle has never done anything to her, Margaret replies, Charles Mason has never done anything to me, but I’m not going to bring him into my friend group. Of course, Teresa doesn’t know who Charles Mason is. Sigh. Then, Teresa goes back to defending Danielle and then storms off.
It’s time for the first group dinner. After announcing that she is wearing head to toe Chanel to Dolores, Jennifer hits the tequila. Meanwhile, Margaret says she is not going to be a part of any embarrassing scenes in the Hamptons. Good luck with that, Marge. Jennifer pours everyone a healthy shot.
They take two cars to the restaurant. Teresa, Jackie and Melissa are in one car and production has told Melissa to bring up the whole conflict between Teresa and Margaret again. Because everything has to keep going until someone gets physical. When Teresa can’t remember the quote about people coming into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, she calls Dolores in the other car. Margaret realizes that Teresa is talking about her. Poor Marge.
Money Can’t Buy You Class
You would think by now that these Hamptons restaurants would not allow Bravo to film there anymore. How the heck do the producers get to tell Joe Giudice what to say while he is in an ICE facility? And yet, they do. He calls at exactly the time everyone is at dinner and asks Dolores to find Teresa a nice doctor and then maybe Joe and Teresa can have a relationship like Dolores and Frank. Joe has apparently convinced Teresa that no one will want her if they divorce because she has too much baggage. Marge decides to back off Teresa since she is going through so much. Teresa says she is only with Joe for the kids at this point.
Teresa brings up her fake prenup again. I couldn’t figure out why she told that lie in the first place. Now we know, production needed a segue so that Jackie could bring up that she had her husband sign a prenup. The second that Jackie lets the cat out of the bag that she has “family money” aka a trust fund, Jennifer is all ears. And she has a million personal questions that are none of her business. Jackie basically sings Money Can’t Buy You Class in her talking head.
The Green Eyed Monster
The next morning at breakfast, Jennifer says she videotaped Jackie’s house and sent it to her husband. She said he told her to buy one. After yet another rude scene about what Jackie eats or doesn’t eat, the girls prepare to go shopping. Margaret gets stuck with Jennifer who is picking out her Hamptons house on the way into town. As if. She can’t afford a Hampton’s house because she is blowing all her money on over the top parties and all the Chanel she can cram in her closet. She’s a label whore and they seldom make good investors.
Jennifer can’t shut up talking to Margaret about Jackie’s money. In the other shop, Dolores points out that the reason Jennifer can’t shut up talking about money is that she is new money. Dolores does point out that Jennifer is very generous with her money. Well, why shouldn’t she be? She didn’t have to work for any of it. She tells Margaret that she thinks Jackie is cheap, especially when it comes to serving food. Margaret tries to point out that Jackie has an issue with food and it isn’t really something she thinks about for others.
Production’s Fingerprints Continue To Be All Over Everything
Margaret’s babysitting time is up and I am sure she needs a drink after that shopping trip with motormouth. It’s time for lunch and things are about to get heated. There is very little time in the episode left. I’d like to pick this moment to point out Dolores’s eyes. First of all it looks like she has a black eye on both eyes. I don’t mean I think someone hit her, it’s just a weird skin sort of thing. But the big thing is her eyes are bulging out of her head. Does she have a thyroid problem or something? I’ve been noticing it the entire episode.
Production sends Jennifer to the bathroom so that Margaret can fill everyone in on what Jennifer was saying about Jackie. Jackie has black stuff under one of her eyes too. Maybe it is the lighting or they are sweating off their mascara. Anyway, Jackie confronts Jennifer about the pizza party and lets her know that the kids got exactly what they wanted. Jennifer basically says it is not about the kids it is about impressing the adults. Sigh. Jackie is really irritated when she should be just laughing. Jennifer is so jealous she can”t stand it.
Is Nothing Off Limits With This One?
When Melissa tells Jennifer to stop mocking a child’s birthday party and everyone seems to agree with Melissa, Jennifer starts trying to throw Margaret under the bus. She says Margaret is the one who keeps saying that Jackie has an issue with food. Margaret quickly smooths things over with Jackie. Then Melissa sticks up for Jackie and says that Jackie’s kids will be far better off with their inheritance than Jennifer’s kids who will inherit a bunch of Chanel shit. I paraphrase. But that sends Jennifer off the deep end. So she starts throwing cutlery at Melissa. Oh bad idea. Very bad idea.