Right before setups for the Pump Rules Recap, I tried to fix a graphics issue and now my entire laptop is completely FUBAR. I was out in the world today and didn’t get enough sleep last night so my brain is worse that usual. So set your expectations low tonight. I mean you know, lower that usual. Also, I think Banjo has given me Wuhan Coronavirus.
While I was trying to spell Wuhan Coronavirus, Stassi was talking to her little brother about her book with describes how she lost her virginity. Let’s just move on over to SUR where new girl Charli, is the younger, dumber future replacement for Scheana. She’s discussing how she has never eaten pasta in her life because she has a secret theory that pasta is what makes everyone fat. Y’all. I am not sure I can take this tonight.
Everyone Hates Dayna?
Then Danica, the assistant manager who got physically aggressive with old Brett walks in. She is on probation for a week but apparently can still pick up waitressing shifts. She was angry with Brett for asking her if she wanted to do a menage à trois. Can’t she just use her words? “No” is a very short word, even when I add the superfluous ‘e’ for emphasis. Then LVP saunters in and heads over to flirt with Brett tell Brett not to solicit any menage à trois at SUR. Which seems unfair. It is a Sexy Unique Restaurant, sound like the perfect place to solicity a menage à trois.”
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Scheanna cries to LVP about about Max saying Scheana is boy crazy to new Brett. Wait LVP is going to talk to him about that? He said it at a private party off the clock. Why does LVP feel the need to control every narrative? Saying Scheana is boy crazy is like saying Stassi is a bitch. These are facts. LVP needs to tell Scheana to wear a bra to work. Dayna is the most normal Surver in the house right now.
Caught In A Bad Romance
The guys from SUR including Jax and the one that is marrying Stassi sit down to chat. The topic is how touchy feeling and desperate Scheana is. Scheana texts Dayna’s new man Max while all of this is going on. At least three guys at this table have slept with Scheana. Scheana asks Max to go out with her that night. This is RIGHT AFTER she complained to his boss about him and got him in trouble. And WHILE the guys are calling her a stage five clinger who constantly talks about her eggs and how she is off birth control. MAKE THIS STOP.
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Thankfully, Sandoval changes the conversation to Stassi’s book party the next night. He just found out about it and hopes that Schwartz has all the details together. Sandoval is pissed that Stassi hasn’t even mentioned it to him. Is he not first Tom? Ut Oh. We cut to footage at Tom Tom where Schwartz is doing a walk thru with Stassi. He says he and Sandoval have been talking about the party for three days now. Production backs this up with video receipts. WTF? Schwartz tells Stassi they are not charging her for the space. This has productions fingerprints all over it.
Scheana Reeks Of Desperation and Rejection
Scheana walks in and basically tells the guys to take a hike so she can talk to Max. Max gives the look of a hostage in a ransom video, begging them with his eyes to stay. They ditch him. Scheana lectures Max for calling her crazy. Then she turns the crazy up and reads every nice thing he ever said to her last summer that earned him an apple watch. They were basic compliments guys say to girls. Then she says, “Dayna may have seen his dick, but she has seen his heart.” We are approaching Fatal Attraction levels of crazy here. But wait, there’s more. She basically forbids him from dating Dayna. Max apologizes for…? Having a dick? Dating Dayna.
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Just when you think the madness may have ended. We move on to LVP reading to Ken from Stassi’s new book about losing her virginity with a full bush of pubic hair. Stassi want’s LVP to read it outloud at her book signing party. I want to throw up in my mouth. Is it the book or the Wuhan Coronavirus? The combination is too much for me. LVP opts to flee to Boston on business. Speakingof their business. Business is bad at the restaurants. Today LVP was getting on the TMZ tour buses handing out free drink cards redeemable at PUMP for everyone.
And So It Begins
At two am the morning of Stassi’s party, Sandoval sends Stassi a text saying he just found out about the party. He is not bartending and neither is Schwartz. They literally have no bartenders. This is a two hour private party on a Friday afternoon. He threatens to throw her and all of “her wristbands” (idiots had to buy the book at Barnes and Nobles the day before to get a wristband) out of TomTom. God I am only 20 minutes in and already have too many words.
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I am not recapping this idiotic dress sewing scene. There is way too much Scheana in this scene.
The Wuhan Coronavirus just made this show into a comic book. Did everyone else see that? Am I hallucinating?Stassi reads a ridiculous passage from her young adult fiction book to a room full of basic bitches, Jax, and her mother. Its embarrassing.
I Pray For Death To Take Me
Did I mention Sandoval has arrived? He was late because he was in the ER with a spider bite. He’s not in the good place. The party is nearly over and he is still saying there is no way they can do the party. Ariana stands by her man.
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Oh for fucks sake. Scheana is on WWHL. NOE. I must draw the line there. The Stassi’s fans are loving this. Stassi has enough of Sandoval and goes off on him aggressively. The basic bitches are getting their money’s worth.
Back at SUR, I realize it was Dayna that doesn’t wear a bra to work at SUR. Scheana lectures Dayna about not wearing one. Dayna basically tells Scheana to back off her man.
Bloody Hell!
Sandoval calls Ken and rats Stassi out for screaming in his face in front of throngs of basic bitches. Ken says he would have thrown her out and he will talk to LVP and get back to him. LVP says that is unacceptable.
The Toms chat at Sandoval’s house. The don’t have chairs yet. Sandoval was humiliated that Stassi yelled at him in front of customers in his bar. He must have said TomTom is bar a dozen times this episode. Sandoval says Stassi is banned. Well that would be delicious.
Next Week: Stassi continues to scream at people. This time is Kristen in front of everyone at Brittany’s bachelorette party in Miami. Dayna tells LVP that Scheana is mean. OOOOH BAD IDEA Dayna. Scheana may or may not have perjured herself for LVP
I’m not sure what happened to this show.
this is he first episode i watched so far and it was eeehhhhh.. that Tom Sandoval has a real ego. i didnt agree with Stassi screaming at him like that but i also didnt agree with the way he was acting like god forbid he didnt say yes to her having the party there. Lisa said yes ! thats the bottom line. the other tom said yes . why does she needs his approval also ? he was just really annoying.
Agree!!!
Sandoval annoying…his curse and his charm
Dogs can’t really get Wuhan Coronavirus Can they? I hope you’re not feeling unwell Tamara. So much nasty shit making the rounds! Sandoval is a douchebag. He’s so pissed off that Schwartz took control and handled this without him that he lost his freaking mind. His whole persona as a part owner with Schwartz is based on this narrative that he’s the competent one and Schwartz is the airhead loser who can’t function without him. It just about killed him to think that this event, small as it was, could be a success without his narcissistic ass running the show. Therefore he just had to show up and make a scene. Shame on Ariana for not calling him out! I’m on Stassi’s side 100% on this one and I think that’s a first for me (except for the time her mother was acting like a total psycho. I felt really sorry for her then and got an inkling as to why she is the way she is!)
PS: Stassi’s little brother is so delightful! He should be cloned!
I know.. I was like.. don’t make me have to agree with Stassi ? but that was pure ego and the dreaded jealousy word.. He looked like a fool and VERY much like he was asking to have the ring kissed… I also don’t think he likes Stassi getting a lot of attention since the show began… And further.. I think he was enrage that she leave..come back as a event planner and NOT a waitress , (While he was still bartending) and still get to be part of the show.
This show sucks. I saw the second showing of it on Bravo tonight after WWHL. One of the cast of Grace and Frankie was on so I watched it. Then, VPR came on. It sucks! It sucks bad! Lisa needs to stop the micro managing outside of her restaurants and tell her female staff to put on a pair of panties and a bra when they serve the public. Yea let’s go eat at SUR and watch Scheana bend over and show us her ass, her cooch & her tampon string depending on what time of the month it is. Really classy restaurant.
Tom said it was his bar about as many times as Vicki says RHOC is HER show. I need to delete this channel from my tv.
Agreed!!
Typical entitled Stassi! Come on if it wasn’t for ghost writers wud we even be here? Lol
Everyone knows that Stassi & Sandoval hate each other! She deliberately kept Sandoval out of the loop! I have never liked Stassi bc she is mean spirited & that’s not necessary! Sandoval needs to grow up & get over himself! Stassi made a complete a_s of herself which she does well! ?
Eh, not so sure she3 used a ghostwriter for the entire book. Stassi went to LMU and pretty sure she majored in English or Writing.
Once again, there’s no one to like. Sandoval’s 2 am text was way out of line, but Stassi making a scene and screaming during her own event was worse, because it was public. Probably all production. I wonder if Sandoval wasn’t freaking out the night before because he was afraid the production storyline was going to be how incompetent TomTom was–i.e., the bar messing up Stassi’s event.
How did Stassi’s little brother turn out so mature, wise, and normal while Stassi turned out so mean, bratty, and self-centered?
we all know the drill, lets start screaming so they have something to film.
Hey Tamara. I have been living under a rock and only recently discovered your site. Love it! Great recaps. As for this pack of overinflated egos, their characteristics and values that originally made this show interesting have all disappeared. We’re they inhabited by pontificating, selfish and childish aliens? If anyone finds their personalities, please return them immediately because they are way too One note and boring now. Some had little to lose from the get go.
Curious to see which side LVP will side with. Shrieking Stassi or territorial Tom.
Did you know that Tom Sandoval owns TomTom? 🙂
Snort! Don’t they own 5% between the two of them? Max 10? I would love to go to Sur, have Scheana as my server, order just drinks and when she goes to put them down, ask her why it smells so fishy. I stopped watching after 20 minutes and decided to no longer assault my brain and just read TT’s recap. Thanks for taking one for the team, TT, Coronavirus et al.
Did you know that Stassi is a New York Times bestselling author? Lol
My bet she sides with Stassi; that way she can emasculate Tom when she reminds him how little he owns/brings to TomTom
This show is in desperate need of James Kennedy. I hope he returns as himself.
Oh, no, it’s really wonderful to see guys like Schwartz in his nightshirt(gown) show his charming guests one of his bathrooms and declare it is a great one to “poop in”. I often point that out to my guests. Don’t we all? Without Guys like James there is really nothing to watch any more.
Perhaps PUMP is doing badly after the public discovered that the new guys were tweeting up a storm with racist and homophobic rants?
Look, it is what it is, but how stupid do you have to be to not do a social media/online presence clear out before you accept a job running a bar in the heart of WeHo for Lisa Pinky Vanderpump?
So not only racist homophobes, but stupid too. They should be on Honey Boo Boo, not pump rules. ?
My Weho source says that restaurant business is down overall but LVP’s places are all way down. That could be because of the holidays. It’s not exactly tourist season. Ken all but confirmed this when he was caught instructing Max ( the son) to “get the video up everywhere, because they need to maximize the publicity on this.”
Now LVP herself is handing out hand bills for a free drink on the TMZ bus. ..
Good. I’ve stopped watching. I can’t support that kind of behaviour. And all of this “they were young” “it was years ago.” These men where in their twenties, and it was 2012. Not exactly a child in the height of segregation, and when homosexuality was illegal.
Disappointing for me because, although not a crazy rabid LVP fan, I did enjoy watching her as an evil genius Disney villain. ?
They should be way up for the holidays. That is when people go out and party and people book Christmas parties.
Coupons are the kiss of death for restaurants.
If that’s the case about her restaurants TT, I’d be willing to bet she will come crawling back to RHOBH in the next year or so.
I think she will be able to waltz right back in next season with a raise if she wants to. And I’m sure she wants to.
Hey TT, thank you for still continuing to recap this show even though it’s gone haywire at best.
I live in Hong Kong and the panic about Wuhan coronoavirus-SARS-pneumonia is really hitting now. Everyone’s buying surgical masks and covering up especially on transport. Really hope it doesn’t spread widely to the US!
Stay safe over there. I want to buy those masks for airplanes and my town has unsafe air. How do I know what kind to buy?
Google Respro mask. Get the allergy one with the HEPA filter. The freaking refills are ridiculously expensive but I have allergies to smoke and perfumes so these are literally a life saver for me especially when flying. Might sound like overkill but Hotlanta is one of the airports chosen to reroute air traffic from Wuhan so passengers can be screened…
Can you talk in that mask?
Oh, yes. I couldn’t wear something that impeded my ability to TALK! lol
Actually, if you go to a compounding pharmacy, they usually sell the ones with HEPA filters and a coating of antibacterial and antiviral and sell them over the counter yet they are expensive. However, you can usually buy them individually so don’t have to pay for an entire box. And yes, you can talk through them. I just received email that this is very much like SARS and could easily become a pandemic. Not to alarm those in USA, but it is being overlooked because initial symptoms are identical to influenza. So everyone please GET YOUR FLU SHOTS! People die every day from the flu. More than you’d think. And even though you can still get the flu, the vaccine decreases duration and severity of symptoms.
Keep in mind that the vaccine takes about two weeks to work. And those with compromised immune systems need to consult their physicians.
Sorry for the PSA. I just have very strong feelings about this issue and want you all to be informed! ❤️
I feel Exactly the same-strongly!!
Please get your flu shot, if you haven’t yet…and for Heaven’s sake STAY HOME if you are contagious/sick.
Last year, someone brought the Measles to Disneyland. I want no chance of Coronavirus showing up here!! TIA ?
If you can get some N95 masks with the “cool filter” box those work well for talking! Those are said to be best right now but hard to get here.
I think Amazon US still has them! Thanks TT.
Typical Lisa, always putting her 2 cents in…..Stassi’s amazing and the “Tom’s” are annoying as hell!….Scheana is BY FAR the most clingy, needy, sh!t starting tattletale that I’ve ever watched!…….Good job on the article Tamara 🙂
Man I am bummed. This show has been terrible so far this season. These people used to be fun and engaging. Now they are all just obnoxious. This might be another show that I stop watching. I can add it to the pile of discarded Bravo shows.
TT, if you like Big Brother you might like The Circle on Netflix. Currently binging it. It is……interesting.
and I’m so IDC about Jax’s wedding that happened eons ago, and except for the blonde those new girls are quintessential valley girls.
I’ll admit I saw this episode late last night on nyquil having the worst coughing fits I’ve ever had in my life. I’m on antibiotics and steroids people, you DON’T want this!!!! Now reading about and all of your comment wtf show am I watching! Its obvious that LVP is controlling this stupid narrative. I guess this close to the wedding we can’t do wedding things with Brittany. Instead we get a kinda funny spiderman reference from Stassi and a bent ouf of shape Sandoval. I think people need to remember how long he had that gross couch even when Ariana moved in, so yeah I see em having a bed and not much else. Hell i moved into a house and 3 years later i never put anything in my family room! If they only focus on the fuck boys and vapid sheanas in training its gonna be a long season. Yes the only girl with a brain Dayna, liking her. If I could get away with not wearing a bra that is is literally bigger that my actual chest Charli, I would. And were back to the stassi show, yay, ugh!
Really random question — Have we ever seen Stassi’s other brother on this show? He is closer in age to her, and thery were on Amazing Race together.
I’m going to go ahead and blame Katie for the worst of the TomTom fight. She went off and got Stassi and obviously tattled that Sandoval was saying dickish things. That and the texts he sent her would have set me off, I think.
Well this episode was meh for me. Jax looks super coked out, Scheana was entertaining and I like the new cast so far. Danica (I think that’s her name) is funny too with her I got paid then had sex with (ex)boyfriend, although when she said she likes walking at work and feeling the breeze up her ***ina, I felt that was fake bc I feel like someone would use vag instead of the whole word.
Oh but the clip with Brittany talking about how Kentucky pronounces Versailles was great bc it reminded that locals and the rest of the world pronounce things different. Like my mom grew up in a town called Lompoc and the locals pronounce it Lom-poke and the others usually the news (oh there’s a penitentiary there too) say it
Lom-pock
“Which seems unfair. It is a Sexy Unique Restaurant, sound like the perfect place to solicity a menage à trois.” THIS MADE ME PEE IN MY PANTS A LITTLE 🙂
I’ve sometimes said in the past that (insert name of Bravo show) needs to drop stale cast members and bring in new faces. I should be careful what I wish for. Now I’m overwhelmed with an avalanche of so many new Pump Rules people I’m having trouble keeping track. There’s 2 Brett’s, Dayna/Danica, mini-Sheana, and other strangers showing up randomly.
The storylines seem excessively fake this season, even by Bravo standards. Sandoval’s “outrage” over Stassi not clearing her event with him is both ridiculous and not believable.
I feel like this show is going off the rails a bit, and it’s become less watchable.
i can’t stand this show anymore with lala, stassi and katie’s hypocrisy and “i’m better than anyone” attitude. i think sandoval has a good heart, he just never liked stassi… who would? she is not a nice girl who takes advantage of people and is just a plain, nasty bitch, same as katie… and lala with her nasty mouth. thanks for the recap TT, i didn’t watch the show.. chillin like a villain here in Tulum ?
OMG! Soooo jealous, boo!
*this* wins the internet.
The guys from SUR including Jax and *the one that is marrying Stassi*
Yasssss, TT.
lol
Is no one else totally grossed out by the girls talking about how they don’t wear any underwear under their server dresses at SUR? Blech….!!! They like to “feel the cool breeze” when they walk….OMG, I just threw up in my mouth! Makes me really, really not want to eat there, and definitely not sit in any chairs there, for fear they may have sat there before me!!
Regarding business being slow, it might be because the restaurant reviews are not good at all. Complaints about slow service and cold food all over the place. The only people going any more are probably Bravo fans trying to see some of the Vanderpump cast.
Yes I was grossed out. That is why I didn’t mention it.
And Yes the majority of the customers at LVP establishments in Weho are Bravo fans. And because there are four establishments, they generally want to go to all four and so they have a drink at each place. Those who have eaten there do indeed review the food poorly. I can’t tell you how many reviews about the goat cheese balls. There are apparently like two or three tiny balls that are not very tasty.
That said, if I found myself at SUR I would have to order them. LOL.
those goat cheese balls are aite… three pieces is more than enough, it’s basically fried cheese with a side of enchive lettuce. i went several years ago and kristina kelly (who used to be part of the show) served us, she was cordial enough but the men would not leave her alone (yuk). the vanderpump pink sangria was nasty. also been to TomTom, better ambience serving finger food. you aren’t missing much TT
Now I am craving fried goat cheese! I need to get up and go make my healthy shrimp with mango/pineapple/jalepeno salsa.
The way Ariana came rushing in with Tom like his little bull dog made my skin crawl. She looked so ridiculous. The two of them are so self righteous it’s sickening. I can’t even imagine what they’re like in real life with those egos. They must be unbearable.
Oh there are so many deuces on this show I have lost count and interest…..but Sandoval is the King of the purple helmet crew