It’s RHONJ recap night and I am ready to go! I have not been on the struggle bus all day and am feeling much better. I’m hoping for a light and fun episode tonight. But, it is New Jersey. I’ll settle for not Danielle Staub scenes.
We start with the news that Joe Gorga is shooting blanks. Melissa and the kids (!) mock him for it. Then we move on to Margaret’s financial problems. She is still trying to sell that gorgeous piece of empty property next to her house. I have a source that emails me about this property all the time. If I recall correctly, and my recall sucks, the land still has not sold. It seems that Margaret thinks it the perfect location for a Mother’s Day Drag Queen Brunch. I am not sure those things go together well. Especially the part about inviting all the mothers. I do like Margaret and Jackie together though. Teresa is not invited.
Strange Mother’s Day Events
Since Teresa is not invited to Margaret’s odd brunch, we must endure yet another scene where a phone call from Joe Giudice ruins another event. The daughters have made breakfast for Teresa. Speaking of breakfast, all our lives we have been told “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Now Dr. Oz is declaring war on breakfast saying we should skip it in the name of “intermittent fasting.” The meal is literally named BREAK FAST. Teresa is pissed that Margaret didn’t invite her to brunch. Then Joe Giudice calls. Teresa thinks that Joe tries to come between her and the girls.
Margaret is broke and has a huge lawsuit to pay off. So of course she hires a party planner to put on a stunning outdoor party with lobster and very expensive flowers. It’s beautiful. I hope Bravo picked up this tab. The drag queens are very um… New Jersey. Jennifer’s mother is freaked out on sight. Everyone talks about Teresa. When Margaret met Teresa, she was Namaste Teresa. Now she is back to Zero To Ten Teresa. Or, As Melissa says, the real Teresa. Margaret is just know meeting the real Teresa. Dolores wants Margaret and Teresa to make up. I don’t.
Drag Queens And Sob Stories
They housewives start telling stories from when they were younger. Jackie’s mother apparently paid one of her suitors $15,000 for the engagement ring he bought. This was all because Jackie didn’t want to marry him. Can’t you return the ring the the woman declines the offer of marriage? Marge Sr. was the wild child. She set no boundaries for Margaret. Margaret was basically the parent in the relationship. She never drank because her mother was always drunk. Lots of tears for this conversation.
I’ve been to a few drag shows in my life. Especially when I lived in Savannah. My friends and I would go to see Lady Chablis every once in a while. The queens are no Lady Chablis. The only one less impressed with this drag show is Jennifer’s mother. This is very culturally inappropriate for her. She can’t even accept her son’s sexuality. Margaret, on the other hand is having a blast.
As the girls all prepare to head to Jackie’s Hampton’s house, Jennifer Googles the house. Jackie rents it for $50K a month. Teresa doesn’t want to go. It’s pouring rain. Wow. The show is almost over. That passed quickly. It looks like all we will see is the arrival.
Wow. Jackie’s house is AMAZING and right on the beach. She is filthy rich. What does her husband do? Melissa and Margaret talk about the Teresa situation. Melissa understands Margaret’s POV. However, she also tells Margaret she can’t tell Teresa who to be friends with.
Teresa bitches about having to carry her own luggage in. Then somehow she doesn’t bring any in. Teresa isn’t all the way in the door before she starts coming for Margaret.
Next time: Jackie announces that she has family money. Apparently, lots and lots of family money. Margaret and Teresa get into a screaming match. Margaret lands some low blows about Teresa being a crappy parent. Melissa and Jennifer get in to a near brawl at a restaurant. It’s probably just Jennifer being Teresa’s attack dog.