Who is up for another Vanderpump Rules recap? They didn’t give us much of a preview but it looks like this episode has some people breaking up and others making up. We will have more crazy, desperate Scheana, a kinder, gentler Lala, and Adriana sucking up to LVP. Let’s all get on the struggle bus and get this underway!
We start with Brittany doing a sexy photo shoot as a wedding present to Jax. Le sigh. Brittany and Lala fill Stassi in on ….. Kristen and Carter. These people seem obsessed. Lala wants to try and make up with James Kennedy. New kid, Brett, is “training LVP” in her backyard. That’s odd. She barely ever let the old one in her house. They chat about Scheana’s…. um THIRST.
Back at SUR, Scheana has discovered that Dayna is sleeping with Max. AKA “her leftovers.” If people can’t date people Scheana has shacked up with, there will be a huge dating drought in Weho. Scheana is supposed to be training Dayna, Brett and another new girl, Charlie. She has Dayna polish every single class in SUR. Because, petty. Dayna tries to smooth things over with Scheana but Scheana is still a bitch to her.
Lala goes to the studio to listen to her little brother record. In walks James Kennedy. Lala throws everyone out so she can talk to James one on one. She tries to explain that she believes in him. But he is hard to be around when he is such an asshole to everyone. We get a montage of his worst behavior. The both decide to let it go and be friends again. I wonder how long this will last.
Ariana and Scheana go out with a new assistant manager of SUR, Danica. She is suspended from SUR for physically attacking her bartender boyfriend. These three make fun of Dayna. Across town Max and Dayna talk about Scheana. Max has a very different idea about his relationship with Scheana than Scheana does. Ariana plans to kiss the LVP ring so she can pick up a few shifts behind the bar to keep busy. Then we get a Vanderpump Dogs commercial. LVP is really pushing for face time this week.
With Friends Like This…
The Tom Tom scenes remind me of Seinfield, the show about nothing. Then Brittany and Jax got to pick up their rings. And talk about Kristen and Carter! This is so ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as Scheana. She just can’t let up on Dayna.
To her credit Dayna just sort of rolls with it and knows that Scheana sees her as a threat. After Scheana asks Brett to knock her up, Brett gives Scheana a long, rambling talk where he foots her in the friendzone. Scheana tells the cameras that she doesn’t believe him. She is really and truly clueless in her own little world.
Ariana Arrives At Sur To Kiss The Ring
LVP of course strings Ariana along about coming back to bartend. Of course, LVP needs more asskissing. LVP doesn’t seem to remember trashing Ariana’s husband. That was of course just “British humor.” Ariana opens up talking about her depression. She says that even getting her dream house, and getting a book published didn’t make her happy. She thinks she needs medication. I’m right there with you, girl. Come sit next to me on the struggle bus.
Did I miss the memo about why Dayna is going on stage? Please don’t let it be cabaret in a Jovani dress. Max tells Lala and Adriana that Scheana seems upset that he is seeing Dayna. Oh. Dayna does stand-up. Don’t quit your day job, girl. Dead mom jokes are not funny. But the gang seemed to enjoy the show.
Hey! Let’s All Kick Kristen When She Is Down Again!
Jax and Katie at least do come over to help Kristen pack. She claims Carter is not moving in with her. No one believes me. Not even me. But it has nothing to do with me. Or Jax. Jax is going to disinvite Carter from the Miami trip. Wow. This episode is almost over. It went by fast. I kept waiting for there to be something that was interesting to write about. It didn’t happen.
Jax is going off on a rant about Carter not working and Kristen is paying for everything. Carter came in at that point and Jax pulls him aside. He says that he thinks it would be good for both of them not to see each other for a month. Jax is not exactly someone that needs to be giving our relationship advice. Carter says that they doing better. Does she LOOK better?
Jax tells Carter that Kristen doesn’t want him to come to Miami. THAT WAS ALL JAX’S DOING. Carter says that is fine. Something tells me he will show up anyway. Before he leaves again, Carter and Kristen hug. Kristen cries.
Next week, there are at least some new fights. And Brandi Glanville asks LVP to read racey passages from one of her books. I’ll update the Carter situation in comments.