Oh hey! This Below Deck Recap will probably turn in to more of a discussion thread. I’m full on in crazy land at the moment but what better time to have an Alexis Bellino recap. AMIRITE? It’s crazy meets crazy tonight. And also I really need to know if they fucking fire Rhylee, AGAIN. I relate a lot to Rhylee. I think we have similar personalities that make it hard to bond with others. I get her. I do not get these misogynistic asshole dick hands though. I feel like it is a South African thing. There. I said it. Now let’s just get on with it. And thanks for sticking around during THE CRAZY.
I do not care for Captain Lee’s management strategy of polling the entire crew on what to do about Rhylee. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. But ultimately, Captain Lee has decided not to fire Rhylee. He does at least talk to Ashton about his assholery. But Ashton is pissed. Sidenote: I never really noticed until now but Rhylee has big boobs. Ashton goes back to trying to get his dick sucked. Because Ashton. And is Kate really going to hook up with Tanner? He’s a POS too. Is she really that horny? If so why not run down the dock and find her next Jesus?
It Seems Weird To Be Starting With Shore Leave
And yet, here we are. Ashton want to get it in with Molly, the former ANTM chick who was the previous charter. He seems to think, once charter is over everyone is fair game. Also, when Below Deck starts filling the charters with reality fools, we know they couldn’t get any more bookings. They must be giving away charters at this point. At least the van rides home are fun for a change. It’s a girl van and a guy van. Tanner seems way to drunk to get it up. Yep! Called it. Kate isn’t getting any tonight.
We have a preference sheet meeting for Alexis. She wants an Irish ???? theme party? I would probably not need to go to therapy tomorrow if I could just shank Ashton. He is such a POS. I am trying to like Brian but he is kind of an douchebag too. Ha! Speaking of douchebags, Captain Lee calls Alexis’s latest a douchebag.
Simone, who cannot cut a lemon or make a drink thinks Kate is condescending and insulting her “intelligence.” Really bitch? You don’t even know how to open a bottle of wine. Meanwhile, Brian is trying to break things off with Courtney before the season ends. He was just having fun. Frankly, I don’t have a problem with that. Mostly because Courtney doesn’t even seem fun. There is not a man on this boat other than Captain Lee who is marriage material. And why the hell is Kevin trying to stir the pot?
Literally, none of this episode is about Alexis. She must be so pissed. Also, Brian is a dick and I hope we never have to hear the word “Bru”again. Again, who asks for an Irish theme party in THAILAND? And Ashton gives Rhylee all the shit jobs. On the one hand she is third deck hand and that is her job. On the other hand, Ashton is just such a POS. Meanwhile, Courtney has a breakdown. This tends to happen if a guy tells you you were just a good time. Ashton continues to be a dick to Rhylee.
Rhylee Breaks Down
Kevin has some sort of back issue that requires the real crew to intervene. Not sure what that was. But Rhylee is barely hanging on to finish out the season with all the trash talking coming her way. Ashton give her no ability to learn new things. Brian tries to mend things with Courtney and it doesn’t go well. Kevin may be unable to cook and it is too late to get a replacement.
Next time, Kate still wants to hook up with fucking Tanner? Is she really that hard up? And FINALLY, Rhylee calls someone a misogynist pig. YAY?