Oh YAY! It’ time for another Below Deck recap. If it wasn’t my job to do this, I would have bailed on this misogynistic crap about three or four episodes ago. Tonight, Ashton is going to try and get Rhylee fired for not having a penis. Will it work? I suppose you have to have a dick to be a dick hand on Below Dick. Whatever. Let’s get through this so I can go watch The Bachelor.
For some reason, Below Deck says it is recording but the recording is not available for me to choose. This is problematic as it means I probably have to be done with the show by the time it ends. I cannot pause, fast forward or rewind. So this is going to be super fast. Kevin seems to be struggling to do his job. Me too, Kevin, me too but we have to get the job done by any means necessary.
Dick Hands Will Be Dicks
We are going to revisit Ashton trying to get Rhylee in trouble for not knowing the fishing laws of Thailand. This is not a deckhand responsibility. Especially not a third deckhand. It’s the Captain’s responsibility. Or productions. Or one of those guys on the boat that do the heavy lifting off camera. Then more abuse from all three dick hands. Rhylee is trying to do her job and they are blocking her from doing that.
Kate goes to scout out a beach for a picnic with Ashton. She is very polite to him and points out that if she quit a charter every time she had to work with someone she didn’t like she would never work. Imagine that Ashton. Simone continues to be a clueless idiot.
Don’t Give Up Your Day Job
After lunch on the beach, Molly from ANTM wants to do a photo shoot on the boat. It’s pathetic. This was the best shot out of like ten screen shots. How did Molly even get on ANTM?
Meanwhile, Kate and Rhylee have a sweet chat where Kate points out that Rhylee is probably a better worker than the dick hands. I wouldn’t go that far, but she is a hard worker. Rhylee calmly approaches Ashton about him ratting her out. She tries to get him to see her side of things. Ashton is a full on asshole. He starts lecturing her and point his stupid finger at her and refuses to make eye contact. He is trying to say she has “insecurities.” Wait what? I though she was too brash and demanding? Make up your mind you fucking fucktard. It’s YOUR insecurities.
I never really want whatever Kevin is making. And I am someone who likes to eat anything I don’t have to get up and make for myself. But the snotty chef seems to like it. And, overall the dinner with the captain went very well. Tanner is already planning on “putting the moves on Kate” on shore leave. Tanner has some sort of bizarre nightmare at 4 am.
The next morning, Captain Lee who is sleeping in a living area because of asshole Jaime and her demands for a private room, wakes up and Rhylee, the third deckhand offers to bring him coffee. This could save her job. When Tanner comes across Simone wiping down the table for breakfast, he offers to take over. That is out of character.
Asshole, I mean Ashton goes crying to Captain Lee asking for him to fire Rhylee for the last six days of charter. Captain Lee calls in Rhylee separately. I wish he would have talked to them together. Rhylee speaks with intelligence to Captain Lee. I would have just said he is a misogynist piece of shit who is difficult to work for. Meanwhile the dick hands are lazying around talking about Rhylee and calling her “cancer.” Fuck those fools. Captain Lee essentially wants to poll the audience. That is not how one leads. The dick hands all lie. They say they want her fired.
Ashton tries to confront Kate over Riley situation. He is so delusional. He demands an apology but doesn’t get one. The guests leave. I do not believe for a moment they were real Charlestonians. They seem like carpetbaggers. Kate tells Ashton he wants to fire her. They got a great tip. $1,700. A the tip meeting Captain Lee is pissed at the dick hands. He still doesn’t know what he is going to do.
To be continued… Will Rhylee be fired next week? Will the boat survive Alexis Bellino? Kevin has a medical emergeny. AND… SEND at 10 On the dot!