Are y’all watching this? These relationships are more horrible than mine. Syngin needs to go back to South America before the Idiot International Whore gets back from Costa Rica. She initially randomly went to South America to be with some rando she literally met for five minutes, because world traveling genius. And then went to THE BAR and hooked up with Syngin and ended up sleeping with him and living with him instead. DUDE, that should have been your first clue. Now she has left you to travel to Costa Rica with some bullshit story and is hanging out in bars yet has not time to talk to you. RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND!
With this couple, it’s the female who is the whore and the problem.
Angela And The Nigerian
Girl, he’s Nigerian. You are fat and poor and live in Hicksville. Sorry, I mean no offense Hazelhurst, but men are not beating down the doors to go live with old ladies with nine billion kids in a shack in Hazlehurst without some sort of angle. He wants to knock up the daughter or something. Stop flying back and forth to Nigeria and wasting your money. Buy a hairbrush, a couple decent bra’s from Molly, and take care of that passel of offspring. I kind of want to go buy a bra from Molly. I have lots of new ones that I like right now. But I mean a day trip to visit Molly… would be worth the price of her fancy “brars.”
With this couple, it’s the Nigerian who is the problem. But Angela deserves it. Also, my shack looks as bad or worse than Angela’s and I live alone. So when I went to Google up a photo, I saw this one from from my friends at Starcasm. SPOILER ALERT! Check out their story on ole Angela.
Emily and The Super Dominant Russian Guy
Alex is a douchebag. But he is a hot douchebag. And a personal trainer. In my personal experience these weight lifter types have errrr… small packages. That said, I am down with the whole slightly aggressive Russian guy. Come make me eat clean and run my fat ass around the block. He does need to sort of acknowledge the baby though. I love that he is concerned about the junk food and not wanting an unhealthy kid.
With this couple, the problem is Emily’s sister. They have got to find somewhere else to live. And a gym. I am normally very financially responsible but I think they should do whatever is necessary to make this happen. Even if it is only a good five years with what’s his name. I have thing for men who take charge. He’s a meathead, but an easily manipulated meathead if you know how to do it.
I say have a few fun years. But having an infant will probably impede that.
The Bee Keepers
I think they are both intellectually on the left end of the bell curve and made for each other.
The Con Artist From The Dominican Republic and Idiot Robert
This is just stupid. They are having a stupid contest with the Bee Keepers.
Blake And The Norwegian Wooden Woman
WTF? Is she just there to be near her sister? Blake doesn’t even seem to be that into her. Financial agreement? They just wanted to be on TV? There is no relationship here AT ALL.
BOTH are using each other to be on TV. Totally fake.
The Sweet Guy With The Girl From Ukraine
I really wish I was with the guy from farmtown USA or wherever. He seems like a nice, normal guy. The Ukrainian on the other hand is way too pretty to be having this much trouble getting knocked up. I don’t trust her. Something is going on with her visa and her desire to get pregnant before they even get to the US is very suspect.
I’m ready to move to the farm with Farmer dude or perhaps with Uncle Fester who lives in the barn or whatever. No babies required. I don’t even care that he believes in space aliens and is atheist. That said I kind of love churches so this may not be a match for me. Um, am I the only one that makes this all about me?
The problem with this couple is the Ukrainian chick. There is something off with this chick. She seems to have a decent life. She is gorgeous. Every outfit she wears is designer. And she can’t get knocked up in Ukraine? She wants a visa. I imagine this is not the first time she has tried this.
Please tell me you are watching this crap with me even if I only randomly “recap” at 4 am.