It’s time for another RHOC recap. I feel like Bravo is trying to “burn-off” these reunion episodes during Christmas week when no one is watching. Word on Mama Joyce’s streets is that there is going to be a major cast shakeup as one last attempt to save this show. THEY NEED TO GET RID OF THE OLD PEOPLE. Let them start a show called “Drunk Grandmas Behaving Badly” it would probably do just fine. I was pissed when they tried to fire Vicki last season and basically forced her to get engaged for this season and married for the next with much less pay.
We start with Kelly and Vicki. Kelly seems to miss Vicki’s friendship to some degree. Or she is a great actress. Maybe it is because I am on my deathbed with a bad parathyroid, the flu(probably swine flu), a dying liver (and spleen), depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations (forgive me if I left anyone’s diagnoses out) but it feels like these women are talking 90 miles a minute! Imma need them all to calm the fuck down!
It’s Braunwyn Time!
We get Braunwyn’s whole package and then a fight between Braunwyn and Vicki. Vicki doesn’t like Braunwyn because she cheats on her husband. Andy quickly points out that Vicki cheated on her husband with fucking Brooks. Braunwyn does not cheat on her husband. Braunwyn has the occaisional three way with her her husband. Safe. Sane. Consequential. Not cheating. Also, I didn’t even know that the necklaces that Braunwyn’s husband wears were an issue. Andy calls them statement necklaces. Apparently, they spend a lot of time in Hawaii and have an artist friend there who makes them and they come with a blessing. Andy wears a lot of fugly ties. Who cares?
Braunwyn and her mother haven’t spoken for a couple of months. She still babysits. Shaun still talks to her. But she needs a break. Braunwyn thanks Tamra for being so helpful to her concerning her relationship with her mother. Vicki makes a stank face. Tamra’s mom is now working at Costco.
Is Tamra Two-Faced?
Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear shit in the woods? Has this show jumped the shark? Tamra is shown repeatedly lying on flashbacks. She continues to lie now.
A very loud train went by and I couldn’t hear this nonsense.
Shannon and Kelly get all the way into it. Kelly claims that Shannon hired a private investigator to come after Kelly on season one. I’m not sure I believe that. Apparently, the video of Kelly “pushing her mother down the stairs” that was seen by Tamra and blasted everywhere was a fake. It was really a scene of Kelly and I think Tamra arguing on the stairs? Shannon says she lost $250K that could have gone to her daughter’s college on the Bellino lawsuit. However, the case was dismissed. She had not paid quite that much and Jim Bellino was ordered to pay her attorney fees.
Vicki v Kelly Part 2
I mean didn’t we just do this? I guess this is the Jolie round. Kelly doesn’t seem to understand that Kelly does a lot of weird shit that would embarrass her daughter multiple times an episode. Vicki’s random and seemingly unfounded allegation do not help. Can we please move on?
Oh look! Emily is at the reunion. I feel like this is the first time the camera has even panned to her.
Out of no where Kelly comes after Shannon saying that one night her daughter called her at 3am saying Shannon was out driving drunk and hanging out with guys. You can tell from Shannon’s reaction this is true. This explains why Tamra has seemed to agree with certain random posters with few followers that Kelly seemed high on coke at the reunion. Kelly claims that her ex the plastic surgeon gave Shannon liposuction. That I also believe.
The editing seems weird on this because now suddenly Kelly and Vicki are tearfully making up. IDGI. They both agree ONCE AGAIN to stop coming for each other. Are they all drunk now?
Braunwyn Has To Pee
Andy tries to end the episode on this positive note of peace love and understanding. So they are going to take a break and there is still ten more minutes of showtime. Vicki and Kelly literally hug it out backstage crying. I don’t think this lasted.
Then we are right back on stage for yet another public proclamation between Vicki and Kelly of their truce.
Then we touch on the Florida trip. Despite Braunwyn sending Vicki flowers in Miami and giving her the nicest room as an engagement present, Vicki still doesn’t feel respected by Braunwyn. Vicki starts screaming at Braunwyn for her nudity on the show and kissing Tamra and others. Vicki says Braunwyn is ruining her show. Oh Please.
Part 3 is December 26. See you then.