Okay, let’s get this RHOC Recap done. It’s the finale and today is the first part of the reunion. I’ll get to that on Friday because TONIGHT IS THE SURVIVOR FINALE and that is pretty much all I am focused on at the moment. In other news, I am PISSED about The Voice winner. I won’t spoil it here and neither should you because people are saving episodes here. But it was not my first or even second choice. That said they were all great.
Shannon is seeing a guy that hooked up with Tammy from season one? His name is Duff. He’s cute and clearly the TOM of RHOOC now. He also used to work with Vicki. He is cocky and I kind of like him. Wait he is a bit sexually forward. So perhaps not so much.
Emily comes to see Gina and help her get all her stuff packed so she can move. Wow, lot of Shade on Shane. I guess he deserves it. Gina is back in love with Matt. For now. It’s sad. Emily knows better.
Braunwyn and her mom are doing some weirdo yoga in her back yard. I have to say the music is rather relaxing. And they don’t seem to be doing serious yoga, which is WAY HARD so it is my kind of yoga. I used to live on Saint Simons Island and went to sort of fancy yoga classes back when I was still limber and a lot smaller. There was an 80 year old woman in my yoga class who was better than me. I actually miss those classes. Also, all of us fat assesses need to resolve to stop paying Planet Fitness ten dollars a month on our credit cards when we haven’t been in ten years. Or maybe that is just me.
Emily is diagnosed with arthritis. Her little girl is adorable. I am so grateful not to have chronic pain. Emily needs a hip replacement. Of course she does. When you go to an orthopedic surgeon you will be told you need surgery if you have good insurance. She calls Shane and he isn’t particularly sympathetic.
Kelly Plans To Kill Them With Kindness
Remember last week when the requisite realty TV shrink solved all of Kelly Dodd’s anger issues with a single mantra? Well she is planning on using them at Vicki’s engagement party. AKA the final cast party of the season where everyone brawls. This should go well. Oh and in case you missed it the RHOC are brawling on Twitter well after the reunion was filmed.
When I think of Orange County, I don’t think of hoe downs. And yet, here we are. I do know that Vicki and Steve love country music, so I guess it makes sense. P.S. The underlined text in these posts are link to related stories. I’m always amazed some people do not know that. Also, the black box at the top of every page is a link station to help you find the tea on all your favorite shows. I should probably mention that more often. Also the right panel has a search box and if you enter things like “Sheree Whitfield Court” you will be regaled with stories about the time Sheree dragged me to court across two counties and lost both times and my gentle readers at the time helped pay court costs. Because cause I was just a wee site back then.
Is This A Wig?
The part is at the Coto Country club and it is really beautiful. I would never in a million years ask anyone if their hair was a wig or a weave or their natural hair. That’s none of my business. But Vicki asks Dr. Deb about her hair and she says she has dreads with yarn weaved in. Dr. Deb is really pretty, in my opinion.
Shannon’s date, Duff shows up and apparently Vicki and Tamra are good with it. Tamra is hot to trot for Kelly since she is paying lawyers to defend herself against ole what’s his name. Then the ladies practice some sort of boot scoot boogie. Other than having sex in broad daylight on a county club golf course (same guy I went to Key West with. And I’m not entirely sure we made it to Key West.) And that one and final time my sister took me golfing and I made a divot on the green I’m not all that familiar with country clubs. But this just doesn’t seem to fit the bill. This seems like the white people version of the electric slide?
Vicki’s Brother Is NOT ALL IN
Vicki’s brother doesn’t really believe that Steve even wants to marry Vicki. Um, Billy…. It’s what saved her job! They are being paid to get married by Bravo! Billy says Steve’s mom says that Steve and Vicki do not mesh at all. Kelly arrives looking horrible. WTF is she wearing? I usually think she looks good in anything but this is not a good look at all! She looks like Pocahontas Barbie with slutty barbie clothes on and some random brown scarf around her waist.
I realize that Shane passing the bar is a big deal but it is EXTREMELY rude of Emily to decide to check for the results on camera. And no he did not pass in February when this was filmed and no he did not pass in July when he tried again. California’s bar is one of the most difficult to pass in the country. He’s not an idiot IIFC he passed in Utah. Don’t be such a dick to Shane, Emily.
Vision Boards And Shots!
The Tres Amigas get drunk and want to mess with Kelly. Because, drunk bitches. Tamra and Shannon are furious that she got involved in their lawsuits with Jim Bellino. Shannon catches her hair on fire on a candle. I’ve caught my hair on fire before. I was a senior in high school and a freshman in college in the same year.
I was sort of an outcast in high school but VERY POPULAR at at the college. It was the weirdest thing. I hooked up with this guy and he and his friends would smoke pot in the arborarium (spell check says that is not a word but we had all these trees that were labeled for like, I dunno tree people. ) I don’t smoke pot but I did drink and that was happening too and I drunkenly decided to lit a small joint which resulted in me burning up half my hair while potheads tried to put it out by repeatedly slapping me. Burnt hair smells horrible by the way. Moving on….
Tamra’s Usual Meltdown
It wouldn’t be an RHOC finale without Tamra losing her shit and running off. So here it comes. Tamra is drunk as fuck and freaking out for no damn reason. Tamra goes after Gina for no reason other than Tequila. It’s retarded.
And Shannon and Tamra both went on a podcast and allegedly defamed Jim Bellino. I don’t know what is true and what is not but Jim ended up having to pay Shannon’s attorneys fees after the case was dropped. I don’t know how the Tamra case ended. Kelly should not have said anything, but I thought the solved this in Key West. Braunwyn lashes out at Kelly too. Gina needs to shave her head and start over. She’s over processed it way too much. Meanwhile she is trying to deal with Tamra who was way overserved.
Here is a look at tonight’s reunion…