It’s the dreaded double recap night! I am starting to feel a bit better so hopefully I can get through both. On tonight’s RHONJ Recap, we need to wind up this cast trip I don’t even remember where they are. Oh, Jamaica. How could I forget?
Delores is annoying as hell and I think the doctor is starting to figure that out. I’d be running for the hills if I were him. She’s still pissed at Jackie from the night before. Girl, let it go. The ladies all go to swim with the dolphins. I am not sure if I would do this. It’s not an activity I would select from a menu, but I’d do it if I was with people who wanted to I suppose. Now shopping for souvenirs? That’s my thing. Eating and drinking at the beach is also my thing.
Gossip Girls (And Guys)
Dolores and Teresa go to a spa and trash talk everyone. Jennifer and Margaret go shopping and talk about Jackie’s eating disorder. Melissa and Jackie have food and drinks at the beach and talk about Dolores, Jennifer and Teresa.
Back in Jersey, Frank and Dolores’s doctor boyfriend go out to dinner. They talk about the house that Frank is building for him. And then of course they talk about Dolores. Frank says Dolores doesn’t plan on moving into the house unless she is engaged. Then he basically asks what the chances are of Dolores moving in the house. David says Dolores can’t even agree on tile. These two are a long way from a ring. Later, when Dolores is back, she argues with Frank about landscaping the yard where they live. Frank wonders why she cares if she thinks she is moving out. Dolores keeps swearing she is thrilled with her life.
First We Get Toasted
The first big bombshell is dropped by Teresa. She is still in touch with Danielle who has shared that she and Marty are back together. WTF? She is not really back with Marty. She told Teresa that she and Marty had sex. Nobody believes this. This news a month after Danielle was claiming she was marrying a prince. Danielle is a liar. This scene reminds me of how long ago this was all filmed. Bravo and production were both upset with the footage this season. This is going to be short recap because it is FULL of flashback filler.
Dolores and Teresa believe Danielle. Margaret calls Marty and he denies it. Now everyone except Margaret believes Danielle. Margaret told Marty he was with all the girls. Right after they hang up, Danielle calls Teresa. But when she finds out she is with all the girls being filmed, she refuses to talk about it and hangs up. GUILTY AS CHARGED. Those salads look great. I got side tracked and haven’t been able to eat today. I am going to have to eat after this and before RHOD.
Then We Get Roasted
First of all, I am coming around when it comes to Jennifer. I liked her on WWHL this season. She’s smarter than I gave her credit for. Her impersonations of the ladies was meant to cause drama but everyone seemed to take it well. I do feel like making fun of Jackie’s eating disorder was out of line. The rest were just the right level of snarky and spot on. There were no hard feelings. Even Jackie was having a good time. Suddenly, Delores offers an olive branch. Jackie accepts it. What the hell kid of last dinner is this? This never happens! They all …oh wait. I was just typing they all acted like adults. And then, Teresa starts breaking glasses. SIGH.
Crime And Punishment
Something the Bravo felons never thought about was getting caught in their felonious activities. The last thing on their minds was what happens to the kids if mommy and daddy go to prison. They were lucky a judge let them take turns doing their time. Now the baby, Audriana has very little memory of her daddy. They are paying the biggest price of all.
Teresa and all the girls sort through family photos. Audriana cries becausse she doesn’t remember most of the photos. More flashbacks to Joe leaving.
The shocking end of this episode is not shocking at all if you read Tamara Tattles. I have been telling you this since 2016. Iosted multiple times when other sites seemed hopeful that Joe would stay to say he would not. See all of those posts here. The law is the law. That is something Joe and Teresa still do not understand.
So when creepy lawyer guy, Jim, shows up to break the news to Joe Gorga and Teresa that Juicy is never coming home, it’s not news. Teresa has been in talks with a divorce attorney since January of 2018. She’s moved on.
Teresa said she told her two oldest girls but Milania and Audriana don’t know yet. Jim tells Teresa and Joe that his final appeal will be denied. Again. I knew this in 2016. Joe Gorga says why pay for the final appeal and all the lawyers again when he has no chance. These lawyers are raking in the money and they also knew in 2016 that Joe wasn’t coming home. I don’t have a crystal ball, I just talked to an immigration lawyer. That said, I like that Teresa is throwing good money after bad though. She doesn’t deserve that money.
Next week is Easter and more people bashing Jackie’s eating disorder. And another holiday without their father means more tears at Easter dinner.